Gay couple on ABD Backstage Magic?

[nycguy1963]

My partner and I really want to take the ABD Backstage Magic tour this summer. We have no children, and wondered how two gay adults would be perceived/welcomed by the other guests on the tour. We got a few horrified looks on the Disney cruise a few years ago by our mere presence (we weren't publicly displaying affection or acting inappropriately).

Have any of you done one of the ABD tours, and if so, what was your experience?

Thanks!

 

[ConcKahuna]

My DP and I went on the Keys to the Kingdom a while back and no one spared a second glance. As a matter of fact, he used to work in the MK "wig room" so people were asking him questions left and right

 

[RickinNYC]

We've gone on the Keys to the Kingdom tour as well. No problems or worries. Nevertheless, if there are any "horrified" looks, remind yourself it's their problem and not yours, and if they can't deal with it, they can leave.

 

[nycguy1963]

Thanks for your insights. I should have been clearer in my original post though. I was referring to the Adventures by Disney Backstage Magic tour of Hollywood. This is different from the Park tours in that you're with the same group of people for 6 days, eating meals together, etc.

Maybe this post really belongs in the Adventures by Disney forum?

 

[ConcKahuna]

Thanks for your insights. I should have been clearer in my original post though. I was referring to the Adventures by Disney Backstage Magic tour of Hollywood. This is different from the Park tours in that you're with the same group of people for 6 days, eating meals together, etc.

Maybe this post really belongs in the Adventures by Disney forum?

Ahh, well the few gay folks I've heard from who did ABD havent mentioned any problems, so I wouldn't be too worried!

 

[wallyb]

We got a few horrified looks on the Disney cruise a few years ago by our mere presence (we weren't publicly displaying affection or acting inappropriately).

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

 

[OrlandoMike]

I've never had any sort of problem at any Disney park or ship. If I did, I wouldn't let it bother me. Honestly, how can you have a problem with gay people and vacation at Disney?

 

[inkkognito]

We just did that tour on 4/22, and based on that experience the only thing that might be awkward is if you get a couple of participants who are jerks. You have a group of up to 40, although you're split into two groups for some of the activities. The group tends to get quite close-knit over the course of the trip, and at a lot of the meals you sit together in groups. It was great fun on our trip, but if you get some homophobics in your group that might make it awkward.

Here's our trip report, but be warned that it has spoilers: http://barbnefer.blogspot.com

I would think the chances are pretty low tho', and even if you get some, let it be THEIR problem, not yours, and just hang out with others in the group. It is an awesome trip...we are even thinking about doing it again next year.

 

[zulemara]

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

just remember the CMs have your back.

I went on a 7 night cruise with DBF for our 6 month anniversary. They made us a cake and when we were on our way back to the room, the head waiter said "don't have too much fun with that cake in your room"

 

[wallyb]

just remember the CMs have your back.

I went on a 7 night cruise with DBF for our 6 month anniversary. They made us a cake and when we were on our way back to the room, the head waiter said "don't have too much fun with that cake in your room"

This calls for a famous old French quote-
"Ooh La La!"

 

[tig82174]

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

You will have a FABULOUS time on DCL. My partner and I are avid Disney-philes....own two DVC contracts....travel to WDW from NY State ALL the time...are AP holders....and cruise with DCL at least every 16 months. We were on the Eastbound TransAtlantic cruise last year that moved the Disney Magic from Florida to it's port in Barcelona for the summer. We are booked on a Double Dip cruise later this year in September (with a week at "home" in AKL Villas beforehand)....and have already planned a trip with my parents next May for a land/sea trip!!

We have NEVER had a problem on the ships and have only ever been treated extremely well by the staff (some of my favorite "magical memories" are actually about fantastic experiences we've had as a couple with the staff aboard the ships) and fellow cruisers (literally one of my very best friends is a fellow DISer who I met on here before the TransAtlantic and then got to know really well spending time with her and her husband and kids on our two week voyage last year.) We have also NEVER been the only same sex couple aboard. There are always others...some with kids and others without.

You should go on your Disney Cruise and not worry one second about it (and the original poster should go on their ABD vacation, too...I've heard only good things about those trips, too!)

Once NY State gets off its lazy butt and passes the marriage bill here so that we can get legal recognition, we're having a small civil ceremony and then planning a big fabulous Disney Ceremony aboard the ship!! (What could be MORE amazing than getting married on the beach at Castaway Cay?!?!)

 

[tiggr33]

My partner and I really want to take the ABD Backstage Magic tour this summer. We have no children, and wondered how two gay adults would be perceived/welcomed by the other guests on the tour. We got a few horrified looks on the Disney cruise a few years ago by our mere presence (we weren't publicly displaying affection or acting inappropriately).

Have any of you done one of the ABD tours, and if so, what was your experience?

Thanks!

I have done ABD Imperial Cities with my DP and my Mom. It was well known DP and I were a couple, and not so much as got a second look about it from any other guest.

I am sorry to hear of your experience on DCL. I have 13 voyages under my belt, about half with DP, never felt uncomfortable at all.

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

Don't worry, be happy.. Seriously. I am sorry to have heard the OP had a bad experience, but I have not, nor has any other gay/lesbian couple/individuals that I personally know. With one exception, my DP did have a problem with table mates once, but that was before me and her ex is nuts to begin with. DCL made good and changed their dining rotation, minor inconvienece (sp on flexeril tonight), but not a big problem.

We just did that tour on 4/22, and based on that experience the only thing that might be awkward is if you get a couple of participants who are jerks. You have a group of up to 40, although you're split into two groups for some of the activities. The group tends to get quite close-knit over the course of the trip, and at a lot of the meals you sit together in groups. It was great fun on our trip, but if you get some homophobics in your group that might make it awkward.

I would think the chances are pretty low tho', and even if you get some, let it be THEIR problem, not yours, and just hang out with others in the group. It is an awesome trip...we are even thinking about doing it again next year.

Very well said, both about ABD and reactions.

just remember the CMs have your back.

From the most part anyway. ABD guides are much different then DCL crew. I couldn't stand the guides I had on ABD and half the group complained. But we still had a great time.

 

[inkkognito]

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

I've run into many, many gay and lesbian couples on our endless string of Disney cruises. Only once did I think I met a homophobic, and I later learned she was just an unfriendly person. We were at a large table with a lesbian couple, a hetro couple, and a mom and adult daughter. The mom never spoke to anyone, even tho' her daughter was very friendly. At first I wondered if she might be offended, but over the course of the cruise I realized she was just a grouch in general. We've had gay couples at our tables at various others times and the other cruisers were very accepting/inclusive.

There are gay crew members too...not as many as WDW, but you'll find that overall the crew will be very welcoming. I even saw a same-sex couple one in Match Your Mate.

One of the funniest moments on my cruises was when I was talking to a crew member about a mutual friend who had left the crew. I asked if he had married his boyfriend since now he lives in a place where it's legal. The crew member did a bit of a double take because I mentioned something like that so casually. Then he explained, "I never actually knew he was gay for a long time." They both hailed from the same country, and apparently it is NOT accepted there and the people don't develop any gaydar so it came as a total shock to him. I think he was still getting used to people just discussing it like you'd talk about the weather.

 

[wallyb]

Well - Thanks all! -
My worrier are allayed!

I'll move on to something else to fret over - It's a family tradition.

 

[Saxton]

Once NY State gets off its lazy butt and passes the marriage bill here so that we can get legal recognition, we're having a small civil ceremony and then planning a big fabulous Disney Ceremony aboard the ship!! (What could be MORE amazing than getting married on the beach at Castaway Cay?!?!)

Erik - NY State recognizes out of state marriages. I know it's not the same as getting married at home but you could hop over the Peace Bridge to make it legal and then have an 'unofficial' ceremony at home.

 

[ConcKahuna]

Well - Thanks all! -
My worrier are allayed!

I'll move on to something else to fret over - It's a family tradition.

You sound like my Jewish friend's mother!

Her mom caught her eating a cheeseburger at work once. We heard about it for MONTHS!

 

[philatiger]

See, now this worries me -
Paul and I are going on the DCL in November (WDW for 3 days prior) and I just hope we don't send the whole time being judged or patronized.
I'm pretty good at putting on blinders, and not letting it get to me -
but it does get tiresome.

My partner and I just got back a few weeks ago from the 7day eastern on the magic. Not once on the entire trip did we experience any homophobic reactions. There were quite a few gay couples on the cruise. If anyone was uncomfortable, they kept it to themselves. We even met up with a group from the boards for a meet and greet and were well accepted. We went on the cruise expecting to have a great time and we did and I am sure you will too.

 

[tig82174]

Erik - NY State recognizes out of state marriages. I know it's not the same as getting married at home but you could hop over the Peace Bridge to make it legal and then have an 'unofficial' ceremony at home.

Well...technically you're right. I actually work in the LGBT/queer health and civil rights field...and I"m really active politically in our area and state...so I know that we've recnetly made lots of progress on that front.

Whether or not NY State will ACTUALLY recognize all out of state marriages and exactly HOW it will do so is still a bit up for grabs right now....the lesbian couple who actually took that case to the apellate court (Pat Martinez and her partner) are from Rochester (where we live). In fact my partner and I know them and sat at a table with them at fundraiser dinner just this past Saturday evening where they were honored by the Empire State Pride Agenda (our NY State version of the HRC kinda). Our county executive (who is an evil homophobic monster) has already tried to appeal that court case and have it stricken down once...unsuccessfully thankfully...but she may try again using a different argument. For now the judgement stands...and the governor has indicated that he intends that out of state marriages be legally recognized....HOWEVER...there's still a little confusion as to what, exactly, that is going to look like....but we're definitely all waiting with baited breath to see how things pan out.

Don't think for a SECOND, though, that we didn't consider using some DVC points to visit DisneyLand in a month or so and get married in CA then come back and demand that it be recognized!! HOWEVER, Jason and I made the specific decision that we don't think we should have to travel to get married...and instead would focus our efforts and energy on working in our state to get the legislation passed that would allow us to marry legally in our OWN state!

 

[epcot1982uk]

I have been on 4 Disney cruises and have never encountered any sort of negative looks or comments. The crew are always freindl and many recognised us as repet crusers and made our voyage extra magical.

I think that Adventures by Disney would be the same, you will probably encounter another Gay couple on the same trip, we certainly seem to meet some on park tours and cruises.

 

[nycguy1963]

We booked the trip for July 13. I'll report back afterwards. Hope to see some of you there!