Gambling addiction

[Hillbeans]

Is anyone else going through the ups and downs with a family member that has a serious gambling problem?

Last night, things really came to a head with my brother and I just would really like to hear from someone - anyone who has had a family member go through this and come through treatment successfully.

It's not a new thing, in fact it started when we were teenagers. Now we're both married with families, and apparently he went on a bender over the last 6 months and lost a fortune.

My SIL and I are trying to decide what next step is the best (either in-patient or out patient) and what sort of marital therapy they need to get. My heart is breaking. Thanks in advance.

 

[Pop Daddy]

it seems like one that wouldnt be hard to break but I seen specials on tv and many people never break it

 

[Geezer]

I think that is a hard thing for those of us who don't gamble to understand.

 

[Hillbeans]

That's what's made this so hard over these years...if you see someone drinking or taking drugs, you understand what the problem is....with gambling, it's so hard to find anyone who understands the addiction and he seems to do it in private.

So many people say "well, just stop making bets". On every corner, there are lottery tickets, pools at work for basketball, horse racing, football pools, not to mention the on-line pop-ups for gambling.

I told him that he needs to get professional help to live in a world with all of the temptation because these things never go away. It's just very upsetting.

 

[Pooh67_68]

I don't know anything about addictions, but I would think that unless HE admits he has a problem than nothing you say is going to do any good.

 

[C.Ann]

From what I understand, my birth father was a horrendous gambler and the last straw for my birth mom was when she came home from work one day and their apartment was totally EMPTY - he had sold EVERYTHING - furniture and all - for money to gamble with.. She filed for a divorce the same day..

He was also a smoker and an alcoholic and I have heard that research shows that people who struggle with these types of things have what is called an "addictive personality"..

I would suggest trying to get him to a Gamblers Anonymous group and if he won't go, perhaps his wife and other family members could go anyhow to gain a better understanding of the situation and possibly learn of ways to help him overcome this addiction..

The thing that really scares me with gambling is that if you end up owing money to the wrong people, you actually could end up dead.. A couple of years ago there was a young married man in an upscale neighborhood near where I live who had a "secret" gambling problem that his wife wasn't even aware of.. One evening someone rang the doorbell, the husband opened the door and he was shot in the chest at point blank range.. He died - with his poor wife and children right there in the house..

It's a serious situation and I would strongly suggest the GA meetings for anyone who is willing to go..

Meanwhile, I'll say a special prayer for all of you..

Hugs,
C.Ann

 

[Hillbeans]

C.Ann- he has been going to GA and just started back on meds this week. We're all hoping to get him into a real treatment program today or at some point in the near future. My poor SIL, she's been hiding this from all of us for 4 months, but just couldn't take it anymore yesterday...she's so relieved it's out and she even told her mom who is a nurse. I've been her position before, when my brother was younger and used to take money from me and tell me things that would scare the c**p out of me (like loansharks and bookies). When you said about someone coming to the house and shooting the guy, it made me almost lose it. I'll hope this is the start of better days ahead for him and his family.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
When you said about someone coming to the house and shooting the guy, it made me almost lose it. I'll hope this is the start of better days ahead for him and his family.

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I'm sorry - I didn't mean to upset you, but it's a perfect example of just how serious this problem can be..

Also - about the meds.. I think I heard awhile back about one that was much more effective and I THINK it was one that is normally used for obssesive compulsive disorder..

Does the family - or at least the wife - go to the GA meetings too? If not, it would be very helpful for her to learn the danger signs, how to deal with the situation in general, etc..

Best of luck to all of you!!