Gad?

[snarlingcoyote]

I've been having problems with anxiety ever since I had a bullying boss who was an accomplished "splitter" (feeding various members of his department information about other members in an effort to pit them against one another) and loved to terrorize his employees. I couldn't leave the job b/c DH was being transferred, and I knew I was quitting in a few months.

Now it's 5 years later and I thought, eventually, I would get over being nervous at work all the time, worrying about stupid things etc.

But I haven't and I'm anxious all the time. It's spilling over into other things - things where, even if the worst happens, there's no reason to worry about it, just plan for it.

To most people except my DH, I look calm and purposeful, coordinated and like I have a plan and know what I'm doing. I keep thinking I'm just a flipping duck - unruffled on the surface, paddling like he** where you can't see me. I even get asked how I do it, how I move forward without looking panicked all the time, and I just smile serenly and say something trite about how you can't worry your life away and can only make good plans to get through diffcult situations.

The technical term is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I know that. I keep thinking it will get better, but so far, it's getting worse. I was out and about, should've been having a good time a few days ago and just had this sense of absolute, horrific doom for no good reason. Just this anxiety and urgent sense of doom.

I keep thinking it will go away, that I will be okay, but now I'm thinking I won't. (I'm also thinking the forgiveness prayer I did to let go of my anger at the blankety-blank boss was premature. Ah well, the way he ate and the weight he was at, he won't be long for this earth, so I'll just let the universe sort him out.)

Anyway, has anyone had any sort of experience with this? I'm going to hunt down a good shrink on the excuse that I need some ADD meds in the next few weeks, but the primary advice I see on the web is psychotherapy, which I've never been a good fit for (Uhm, let's just say I have sufficient education and training in the field to make that statement and leave it at that, okay?) although it makes sense that this would be the reccomended therapy.

But has anyone dealt with this?

 

[ontariomonkey]

I have no personal experience with this. There is medication for this. Sounds like you don't like the idea of psychotherapy but maybe some counselling might help. Learning some coping strategies might be useful.

How about decreasing the amount of stress in your life by eating well, exercising and getting adequate sleep. Yoga and meditation are helpful to some people.

Essential fats like omega 3 can be helpful so a salmon oil supplement or increasing dietary sources like flax seed or walnuts.

Rescue Remedy is a great homeopathic remedy for when you are having a crisis.

Good luck friend, it sucks to feel crappy all the time.

 

[CathrynRose]

I am diagnosed GAD and Panic Disorder.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

First of all to you.

Second of all - please go to your doctor. He/She will be able to either give you medicine to help calm you down or at least give you a name of somebody who can help you more. You shouldn't have to live like that everyday.

I was bullied in high school and I"m still gun shy in different situations - I don't think I will ever get over that. It's a horrible thing to live with.

I am also a member of an online support community called DailyStrength.org. I'm sure there is a forum on there for GAD.

One more hug for you and please for your sake, go see you doctor. Take care!

 

[CathrynRose]

I probably should have elaborated since you asked.

Best thing I ever did was get myself to a psychiatrist and get some Xanax. All hail the Xanax Gods - Hallelujah!

I had *2* panic attacks before my mom passed when I was 33. Two in my whole life.

Then she unexpectedly died - and ***whoooooooshhhhhh*** The year following her death, I seriously can't even tell you how many I had. And when I was having full blown attacks, I was anxious, and anxiety ridden every single day. It was awful. But I was determined to get through it on my own.

I'm glad i finally just gave in.

 

[bumbershoot]

Rescue Remedy is a great homeopathic remedy for when you are having a crisis.

So glad to not be the first to recommend that wonderful stuff.


Although my boss probably wasn't as bad as yours, I had an awful one too. And he wouldn't let me out of his dept though I tried...he'd lost just about every one of his original team members, and got new ones that knew what they were getting into and didn't have issues with him, but he would NOT let me go. He was awful. I haven't had a long-term job since (did temp stuff for awhile, then we realized I was better as a SAH person), but I imagine if I did, I'd flip out if I got one like he was.


Have you ever watched Office Space? I tell you, that helped me. Even though Lumberg sounds just like the boss I had, it still helps. Laughter is always good!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I can share my experience with my 7th grade dd. She has started to formally work thru her anxiety.

She has always had anxiety. We did work thru some of her stuff when she was younger thru visualization and breathing techniques (she would pass out or have panic attacks), however the pressure of middle school, moving, sis in college and her goals have just been to much pressure for her.

I took her to a psychiatrist and she is on 5mg of Lexapro right now. She was on that for about 5 months and we have now started counseling with someone recommended by my ped's office.

So I would say that you need a med/counseling plan to formally work thru it.

And what did she hand me this morning before she went on the bus? An invitation to the Duke University Talent Program and the Joseph Baldwin Young Scholars program.

No pressure. I will say she has very high goals and aspirations for herself. I am thanking God she is "in treatment" to sort thru all of this.

 

[MushyMushy]

I became the victim of workplace bullying (or also called "mobbing") over a year ago (this was a long-term substitute teaching position and a group of tenured teachers made my life a living hell). After the job ended, I thought I'd be able to go about my life and get over it, but I started feeling worse and worse, obsessing about it and wondering what I could have done differently or what I did to deserve it. I was dreading going back into the schools the next fall, and ended up taking the year off after my mother passed away, then a best friend died as well. My year has been one thing after another... just keep getting knocked back down. But what happened to me at that job really took it out of me.

As adults, we like to think we're above all that and can be strong enough to stand up for ourselves. People from the outside looking in say the same thing, "Oh I would have done this or I would have done that." But you don't know what it's like until you're going through it.

Anyway, about a year ago I found a great counselor. She does behavioral cognitive therapy, which IMO works better than just talk therapy. She's also very well read on workplace bullying and that type of environment (appears I'm not the only person who came to her after similar experience at the school!). She says it's a mild form of post traumatic stress disorder. Not like the kind you hear about soldiers getting in a war, but still daily exposure to mental/emotional abuse will do that to you as well.

The only medication I'm on is an anti-depressant. Her therapy has been wonderful for me. I'm to the point now where I've signed up for a few sub jobs in September. Yes, I'm a little nervous, but ready to get back to work.

Make a few calls and try to talk to the therapists on the phone. I spoke to a few before finding this one and right away I knew we'd be a good fit. I gave her a little info on what I'd been through and asked if she could help and she was very reassuring and seemed so knowledgeable about workplace issues.

Sorry for going on about this. I don't like to talk about it too much, but your post really reached out to me. Especially where to everyone else, you look calm and serene, but on the inside you're still so fearful. I'm sorry you, I, or anybody else has ever had to go through this. It's just not fair that decent people can get crushed by these things and the bullies themselves go on like nothing ever happened.