Funny things that the elderly say ...

[Fantasmic23]

Since February, I've been taking care of my soon-to-be 91 year old grandmother a few days a week. I do light cleaning for her, take her grocery shopping, take her to doctor's appointments, etc.

She's still "with it", as much as someone can be "with it" when they're almost 91 years old. Sometimes, she comes out with the funniest things and I cannot help cracking up:

Dumb bunny/Dumb bunnies: Her expression for a stupid person/people. "They're a bunch of dumb bunnies in this town."

Malarkey: Her word for B.S. "My doctor said he already called the pharmacy but he's just full of malarkey."

"Like the dickens" (This one kills me): "That guy stops near my lawn every morning and his dog is always peeing like the dickens."

Lady Jane: A scolding term, along like lines of "Young lady": "Oh, Lady Jane ... You were supposed to be here an hour ago."

You people: This is reserved for the phone company, the gas company, the doctor's office, the insurance company, etc. ... Anyone who has done her wrong on a bill: "You people keep sending me the same bill and I've already paid it." Of course I'm always in the background saying, "Gram, don't say 'you people'!"

"Don't get cute": Her response when you make a suggestion that seems absurd to her.

Oh, I have a lot of fun with her.

 

[Disfan1]

I use those expressions and I'm only 42! Where is she from? I grew up in Georgia.

 

[Fantasmic23]

I use those expressions and I'm only 42! Where is she from? I grew up in Georgia.

She was born and raised in New Haven, Connecticut! Because of her, now I'm using these expressions!

 

[KimR]

Not really an expression but we were discussing haircolor one day and DH's grandmother told me that when she was younger her hair used to have red pygmies in it. I'm pretty sure she meant 'pigments' rather than red-hued dwarfs.

 

[LisaR]

My mom is 81 and uses malarkey all the time!

My grandma, her mom, would ALWAYS say, "It was nice meeting you" when she was leaving. It didn't matter if you were the cable repair guy, her grandchild or her own daughter!

 

[myheartlivesatwdw]

I use "Lady Jane" all the time. I got it from my GM too!

 

[PebblesMK]

My grandma had alzheimers, so much of what she said never made sense. She was notorious for talking about the chickens though. It was always in hushed tones and she would look around to see who was listening and she would say "the chickens....the chickens...". We never did figure out what she was talking about.

Another time that makes me laugh was when I went to the assisted living place that she lived. I had brought her lunch and we were sitting there enjoying our meal when out of nowhere she touched my leg and said "What is that thing!!!!!!" I said, "It's my leg, I have two of them. You have two of them as well". I then pointed to her legs. The look on her face was priceless and she said "Well I'll be! I never noticed those things before!!!" and then she started doing a little jig. Hahaha, gosh was she wonderful.

 

[Katy Belle]

My Mother who is nearly 86, will talk about people that live in the same apartment building as her and she will say... "Oh, she's an OLD lady." Cracks me up.

 

[PebblesMK]

My Mother who is nearly 86, will talk about people that live in the same apartment building as her and she will say... "Oh, she's an OLD lady." Cracks me up.

That's was my grandma! She was 88 living in an assisted living home and she would look around and say she was NOT going to be hanging around OLD people.

 

[horseshowmom]

I use those expressions and I'm only 42! Where is she from? I grew up in Georgia.

Except for Lady Jane, those are all very familiar to me too.

 

[dizluvah]

My hubby's grandpa, 92 always said "You believe that?"

If you said yes, you believed it - he would say you do not!!

 

[tonilea]

I use those expressions and I'm only 42! Where is she from? I grew up in Georgia.

Other than Lady Jane, I am guilty of all those too! I'm 41, BTW.

I loved how my grandmother, who was in her 90s, would talk about my FIL being "just a pup". He was in his 70s!

 

[rie'smom]

I use those expressions. My grandmother died when she was 93 and I guarantee she was brighter and quicker than 95% of people in their 20s. Not all people slow down mentally when they get older. They may not be able to run the 50 yd dash but that doesn't mean they can't read or work complex problems. My grandfather taught himself calculus and physics when he was in his 80s.

 

[dislaney]

Oh, how I miss my Grandmother! She used to crack me up. I remember one time, she was wearing a pretty black coat, and as she picked off a piece of lint, she said, "this darn coat picks up everything but men and money!"

 

[Jennasis]

Just yesterday I took my MIL (notice I did not say DMIL...) to the hospital for pre-surgical testing (surgery is tomorrow). I showed up at her house, said "Hi!" and the first thing she says to me is "YOU SMELL LIKE HORSE POOP."

Granted I own, live on and work at a horse farm, but I had changed clothes and showered before coming over and my shoes were not shoes I wear around the farm).

Later that day I dropped her off in her wheelchair at the curb by the hospital entrance and told her to wait there while I parked the car. There were no handicapped spaces to I went back to the entrance and gave the car to the valet who looked me up and down and then told me that the orderly took my MIL inside. I went in and found a hospital staffer waiting for me to show me where to find my MIL. I sat down next to her and said "That was nice of them to help me out." She rolled her eyes and said "WELL I TOLD THEM TO LOOK FOR THE GIRL WITH THE GREEN TOP AND THE HUGE **NON-DIS-FRIENDLY WORD FOR BUST."

In her defense, I WAS wearing a green top.

 

[katesorad]

My grandmother is 73, so a big younger than 90's, but the funniest thing she did as of recent was ask me if I saw "Conception" because it was a very good movie.. she was referring to Inception.

Also, she has picked up from my uncle and brothers "Epic fail".. she even said it to the waiter at a nice restaurant! He was confused to say the least.

I adore my grandma.. she's my favorite person I know!

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

My grandpa called the Mcdonalds Mcflurry a Mcwhirlfull.
He also called my dog named Lucky, Roxy.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

M

 

[tlbwriter]

Except for Lady Jane, those are all very familiar to me too.

Me too - I must be old. Or I hang out with old people.

 

[NikitaZee]

Missing my grandparents - they used a lot of those OP! My grandma also used to say, 'Believe you me', which I still don't get! Also - the fridge was always icebox, BS was 'donkey dust', any man driving a car was 'Mac' and any woman driver was 'Toots'. Lady Jane is new to me, but I remember being called 'Sarah Bernhardt' as a child when I was acting like a drama queen!