Funny things that the elderly say ...

[Fantasmic23]

Another funny thing is they always think people want to steal things from them. I'm not talking about valuable things. If my Mom can't find something like an old pair of socks or pajamas , she'll accuse the last non-family member that was in the house.

Yes!! I go through this at least once a week with my grandmother! "I had five bars of Ivory soap and now they're gone. I'll be that TV repairman took them!"

 

[cheshireqt]

Cute thread
My Grandmother (94yrs old) has a couple of cute ones
-- If she looks in a mirror and thinks her hair is a mess she will say "oooh I look like a wild woman." I was in my teens before I knew that she meant loose and not crazy.
--says "fiddlesticks" for her main curse word.
--"Dinner" is lunch and "supper" is the evening meal
--"I'm living the life of Riley" means she thinks she is in the lap of luxury. She said that a lot when we stayed for a week at a beachfront property, but she also says it when she has her favorite slippers on, with favorite TV show playing and a bowl of ice cream in her hand
--She also advises me to "put my purse up when men are about" (anyone outside the family of course. but does include dinner guests). She got that one from HER Mother.
--If she calls you a "mess" be complimented. It means you are fun to be around!

DH's Grandpa used to say "young people always think they invented sex"

 

[bas71873]

He also called my dog named Lucky, Roxy.

LOL. My grandma, who I miss dearly, called our dog Sparkle (her name is Scarlett). We just stopped correcting her and let it go. It was her "pet" name for my pet .....and the dog ALWAYS responded to her because granny was always good for some sneaky snacks.

 

[s____!]

Malarkey needs to come back into popular use.

 

[Fantasmic23]

"Queer duck" for someone being unusual or quirky.

We use "Odd duck" in our house!!

 

[Fantasmic23]

Malarkey needs to come back into popular use.

Seriously.

 

[Fantasmic23]

QUOTE=goofyernmost;You folks are such a bunch of whippersnappers.[/QUOTE]

I love that word!!

 

[cheshireqt]

...how about "Oh, for corn's sake!"...or, "...go sit in the parlor(living room)..."

Haven't heard corn's sake, but "oh for petes sake" was a favorite among all 4 of my grandparents.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

I got two for you. Both about my best pals grandma, who I loved dearly.
One night we were visiting her at the home, and she told us to come closer. We did, she says "girls, Lean in I gotta tell you a secret." I paused thinking this could be good. leaning in she yells " I PEED THE BED," with a huge grin on her face.
The other one was at her husbands funeral. We were sititng in the front row with her when the honor gaurd came in to do the flag folding. So were all watching and crying when she looks down, smiles and says "His shoes are so shinny." Never heard so much gigling at a funeral.

 

[Nohal]

What a great thread. I can't stop as I use a lot of these sayings myself.

 

[dislal]

My grandmother and mother always called me lady Jane and now I call my daughters that, I wonder where it came from

Another one, if one of us kids would ask where are we going and mom didn't want us to know or if she was going away by herself she would say she was going to hookstabutta or Maggies room behind the clock

My dad would call a purse a pocketbook and the refridgerator was an icebox.

My SFIL calls his lunch box a dinner bucket.

 

[DHSTL]

my grandmother mixes stuff up alot. She loves PAWN stars .... but everytime she calls it porn stars! She will ask my uncles when the porn stars are on , well it gets awkward.

Thanks a lot. I was eating a bowl of cereal while reading this and laughed and spit milk all over the screen.

One of my grandma use "dickens" alot, but she uses it to describe a type of pain. I'll say Grandma how did you get that bruise and she will say something like " I hit my leg on the table and it hurt like the "dickens". Another thing she says that I have no idea what it means is...Grandma what have you been up to and her reply is always "oh you know the same ol 7 and 6.

My other grandma always use to call a couch a "devan" sp.?

 

[Jennasis]

I'm sure I'll have a WHOLE bunch of doozies for you guys by the end of the day...I am in the surgical waiting area at the hospital while my MIL is having her knee operated on. She's already talked some smack about the staff here.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Hahaha, my grandma also says 'believe you me' and I still don't understand it! She also says 'like the dickens' which cracks me up. I love older people-they're so funny and they don't even know it

I know this thread is supposed to be amusing, but the highlighted statement is insulting. Simply because you're not familiar with long-existing words and phrases - which we learned from our parents and grandparents, so many have been around for a century or more - doesn't mean we're "funny and don't even know it". When I'm funny, I know I'm funny.

 

[kaytieeldr]

My grat grandma is 99. She still lives on her own and has her memory completely. We are very blessed. Anyway, she cracks us up all the time, the most recent thing was when my kids were videotaping her and interviewing her. My Dh piped in a question, he asked "what did you do back when you were dating?" He didn't mean anything bad by it, he meant where did you go, what did you do. Her answer back, without missing a beat was "If you forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking." We were all in tears.
She is an absolute riot!!!

That's a classic response from either Ann Landers or Dear Abby!!! Now, THAT'S funny!!!!

 

[kaytieeldr]

Another funny thing is they always think people want to steal things from them. I'm not talking about valuable things. If my Mom can't find something like an old pair of socks or pajamas , she'll accuse the last non-family member that was in the house.

I get that completely I live in an apartment. I rarely have guests (antisocial and a lousy hostess) and maintenance has to give advance notice when they're entering a unit except in an emergency. So even when I know nobody's been in here, if I can't find something the only [ahem] "logical" explanation is that somebody stole it.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

I haven't read through all of these so forgive memif I'm repeating someone.

My mom who is 65 has always called the couch the davenport.

My grandmother used to tell me "you better mind" if I was not listening to her

She used to also call someone "cantankerous" if they were being silly.

 

[diesel]

My father thought Sponge Bob Square Pants looked like cheese. So he kept calling him the cheese guy.

 

[myheartlivesatwdw]

My father thought Sponge Bob Square Pants looked like cheese. So he kept calling him the cheese guy.

If my hair was a mess I would get-" it looks like an explosion in a mattress factory" or "the wreck of the Hesperus". Sadly, I had to google that one.

 

[tonilea]

I get that completely I live in an apartment. I rarely have guests (antisocial and a lousy hostess) and maintenance has to give advance notice when they're entering a unit except in an emergency. So even when I know nobody's been in here, if I can't find something the only [ahem] "logical" explanation is that somebody stole it.

LOL It happened to me and I'm not old. I was in a hurry to leave campus and pick up my son at his school, so I hurried over to my car, started to open the hatch with my key.... NO LOCK! I swear my first thought was, "Someone stole the lock on my car!" Thankfully, it was quickly followed by, "You moron, this isn't your car!"

In my defense, it looked almost exactly like my car. Same color, Dodge Caliber, just a bit fancier model.