these are the funniest things i've "heard" in a while. wanted to add a few of my own.
mine are also more experiences than statements. before i describe them, let me just say that i love my mother very much, but boy can she be a nit-wit sometimes.
1) my mom was in awe of Disney throughout our trip. she was, as others have described, amazed at how real some of Disney's creations look. well, as we're loading into the library to see the video clip at TOT, my mother comments about how real the statue next to the entry looked. she reached out to touch his face - and he blinked. this FREAKED my mother out (since he was of course a real person and not a statue), and she ran in and grabbed ahold of (what she thought was) my arm. she started laughing and snorting and leaned her forehead against (what she thought was) my arm. i'm standing off to the side laughing so hard i can't breathe and trying to pry her hands off of the arm of this complete STRANGER whose upper arm is clenched in my mother's death-giggle-grip. finally my mom looks up, SCREAMS "OHMYGOSH" and lets go and doubles over with laughter and embarrassement. the stranger smiles and says, "I understand. This ride can be scary." my sister kept giggling and trying to say "ssshhhh" at the say time because we were probably ruining the preshow for the other guests, but it just kept coming out at "sss-sss-sss-sss-sss". it was hilarious.
2) as we are boarding TOT, the CM says, "Please be sure to fasten your seatbelts. Hopefully they'll work better for you than they did the previous guests." My mom's eyes get HUGE and she looks at me and says, "The SEATBELTS don't work?!?!?!?" I had to block the aisle to keep her from getting off the ride.
3) After we ride the TOT (during which my good, Christian mother blurted out expletives as we endured the drop sequence), she gets out of her seatbelt, climbs OVER my sister, aunt, and me, and RUNS past the CM, down the hallway, through the giftshop, and outside. The whole time, my sister and I (veteran Disney lovers) are chasing after her half giggling and half worried because we're yelling, "Mom? Mom! Mom, are you okay? Mom, just stop! Stop! MOM! Slow down! MOTHER!" We catch up to her outside, sitting on the stone wall, panting and clutching her purse like she had just been attacked. She looks at us and says,
"That was TERRIBLE.
I think I want to do it again. (in a voice that was like, I must be insane!)"
It was the best day of our trip. We rode it another 6 times that trip. On one of those subsequent rides, a woman was getting on TOT and crying becasue she was so scared. My mother looks at her and says, "Oh it'll be okay. Don't worry. It's really not that scary." Yeah right, Mom!
Say what you want about Disney, but it can at times bring out the profanity in all of us!
Jenny
I can't help but laugh still thinking about it!
The folks in line behind us and in front of us were literally biting their lips to keep from laughing. My DH and I felt so bad for that kid, because he was still standing in line adjacent to us. Anyone could tell he was very embarassed and our DS was too young to realize what he had said and did by pointing. 
