Fundraisers for wedding what do you think?

[marie1203]

BIL in getting married he is in his mid- 30's. Today I got an invitation from my MIL asking us to buy tickets for this Jack and Jill to raise money for them . I am tick off about it because they both have jobs they drive a BMW and a Land Rover and they don't have money because they are irresponsible with it, so I find it ridiculous that she is asking us for money for them. We feel obligated to buy tickets but I don't think I am going to IMO there are many charities that really need the money that I rather give money to. What do you think?

Edit: Brides parents are paying for the wedding this is just to raise money for the bride and groom "because as MIL said they don't have a lot of money" . This is on top of shower, wedding gift, bachelor parties.

 

[VAfamily1998]

That would tick me off too. I don't mind going to a shower and buying a toaster or a blender or something off the registry--but cash? Tacky.

 

[marie1203]

That would tick me off too. I don't mind going to a shower and buying a toaster or a blender or something off the registry--but cash? Tacky.

Well they are also having a shower this feels more like a rip off than a wedding. And on the email she asks us to try to sell tickets for this "event" no way .

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Fact is, it's what most couples would really rather receive, young or otherwise. So, I wouldn't call giving cash tacky.


ASKING for cash is quite tacky, though.

 

[marie1203]

Fact is, it's what most couples would really rather receive, young or otherwise. So, I wouldn't call giving cash tacky.


ASKING for cash is quite tacky, though.

But this is not their wedding present or even count as it, this is on top of the wedding, the shower, bachelor parties and then there is the Jack and Jill (event).

 

[lillygator]

if you feel so strongly about it, don't buy the tickets. You aren't required to.

 

[Zim]

Tacky and awkward. I would never "donate" money to people who had cars nicer than my 255,000+ mile Plymouth Neon!!

If I were feeling real snarky, I'd send them an Autotrader magazine with two pennies taped to the front as an RSVP the the Jack and Jill event.

But that's just my two cents. Yuk yuk

 

[aclov]

I never heard of this so I googled and it does exist and there are even "how to" websites. They should have a wedding they can afford. I understand if your MIL or parents want to pay for the wedding but to have another event besides a shower is pretty tacky.

 

[Melmac]

Around here, Jack and Jills (or as we call them, Stag and Does) are quite common. Also, keep in mind that you will probably be expected to spend more money at the actual event - there are usually games, poker, raffles, etc. all to raise more money on top of the ticket price (which may include food and/or beer).

However, I believe it is extremely tacky to have both a shower and a stag and doe - it is usually one or the other. If a couple I knew was having both, I would only attend (and support) one. I prefer showers over stag and does because around here, they are usually just big drinking parties that last all night. A shower is usually done within 2 hours

 

[okeydokey]

Tacky and crass. What ever happened to one wedding shower and then the wedding itself. I would decline every other invitation.

 

[Pixie Dust for Me!]

I'd simply decline with no explanation. (Privately, I'd say to my DH that this is beyond tacky!)

K

 

[ChisJo]

completely tacky...wouldn't do it and I would be so ticked off I wouldn't even go to the wedding! (but thats just me - I wouldn't even be able to have a decent conversation with them after this anyways).

 

[Gumbo4x4]

But this is not their wedding present or even count as it, this is on top of the wedding, the shower, bachelor parties and then there is the Jack and Jill (event).

Sorry, I thought "Jack & Jill" were generic names you made up for the couple. I've never heard of such an event. I do stand by my assessment that asking for cash as a wedding gift is tacky, but this is clearly much worse

If they can't afford to put on the big show, they should just go to the courthouse.

 

[dex08]

Edit: Brides parents are paying for the wedding this is just to raise money for the bride and groom "because as MIL said they don't have a lot of money" . This is on top of shower, wedding gift, bachelor parties.

Seriously? What couples starting out usually have a lot of money?!! And why is the MIL making it everyone else's responsibility to pitch in for the couple to build their nestegg?

 

[Crazy4Disney06]

Tacky and crass. What ever happened to one wedding shower and then the wedding itself. I would decline every other invitation.

Ditto! If they can't afford the wedding maybe they should wait until they can or downsize so that they can afford it.

 

[daisy_77]

I would definitely decline. This just seems so tacky to me. But I guess to each their own.

 

[aprilgail2]

Well they are also having a shower this feels more like a rip off than a wedding. And on the email she asks us to try to sell tickets for this "event" no way .

But this is not their wedding present or even count as it, this is on top of the wedding, the shower, bachelor parties and then there is the Jack and Jill (event).

I had never heard of this before the DIS--to us a jack and jill is just a shower that men are invited to along with women--not a seperate event. I can not believe that people sell tickets to this kind of thing. On the "tacky chart" this would have to be #1 !! If you can't afford your wedding then have a smaller one or use a justice of the peace-don't sell tickets to fund it.....geez what is this world coming to!!!!!

 

[Cindy B]

Around here, Jack and Jills (or as we call them, Stag and Does) are quite common. Also, keep in mind that you will probably be expected to spend more money at the actual event - there are usually games, poker, raffles, etc. all to raise more money on top of the ticket price (which may include food and/or beer).

However, I believe it is extremely tacky to have both a shower and a stag and doe - it is usually one or the other. If a couple I knew was having both, I would only attend (and support) one. I prefer showers over stag and does because around here, they are usually just big drinking parties that last all night. A shower is usually done within 2 hours

Interesting. I've never heard of a stag and doe before. I would probably prefer a shower as well.

 

[crisi]

Unbelievably tacky.

 

[marie1203]

This is not to pay for the wedding but rather to just get extra money on top of it all. Her dad is paying for the wedding her budget isn't very large but he is taking care of it.