Frustrated :(

[inkedupmomma]

I don't know about you guys, but my family and some friends are being soooo negative and unsupportive of my choice to do a dftw!! I keep getting.."what?? " "why would you do that?", "oh doubt i'll be able to come", don't you think your too old for that?","cant you just do a normal wedding here", "how am i supposed to get there", and my favorite "no one is gonna go to your wedding".

UGHHHHH!!! this is my dream wedding why can't everyone just be happy for me.. maybe a congrats before they start with all the negativity!

I'm really thinking of just giving up and not doing this at all

anyone go through this?? how'd your big day turn out?? anyone currently going through and how are you dealing?? Cause i'm about to give up

 

[LauraInWonderland]

Oh yes, my mother tells me almost everyday how my wedding is a burden on everyone. That not many people are going to come because it costs everyone money and time. And i live only one hour away from disney!! Just remember its YOUR wedding.. you dont want to settle on such an important and expensive thing. I think after your guests see how beautifuland unique your wedding is that they'll eat their words
Dont give up on your dream!

 

[disneygal922]

let me just say... my gram pretty much hasn't said a word to me since i got engaged... when i called to tell her.. i got a 'oh(insert awkward silence) that's nice'... apparently she thinks i'm too young to get married and i should date more people. i'm 25. i'll be almost 27 by the actual wedding, my oldest sis was 24 when she got married, the other sis was 27. So i called her on mothers day and left a message. while my sister was at our house, gram called her, sis says oh gram here talk to reese i'll brb. so sis hands me the phone and gram didn't let me get one word in... all she kept rambling about is how it was terrible weather and how she got all wet on the way to church then she was like, oh i gotta go, tell your sister i'll call her later. click. i couldn't believe it. AND she volunteers at the hospital my sister and my cousins DF work at and is apparently telling people there i'm stupid and my mother would be rolling over in her grave. luckily, my sis and cousin-in-law stood up for me. Me and DF have known each other 10 years!!!! Dating officially for 4... 6 by the wedding. soo.... i understand exactly how you feel and i'm terribly sorry you are having such unfortunate luck. don't let them ruin your dream wedding though. it is exactly that, YOUR wedding. something you want to enjoy and love and memories you will always cherish! So keep your chin up and stick to your ground. those who matter most will come through for you!

 

[silverangel879]

First of all, Here is a BIG !
The only thing I can tell you is remember that is your wedding! If that what you want you should do it. I know that family support is very important in a moment like this, but it is also your day. Sometimes family stuck in what they would do and forget about the feelings of the person.

I'll say If you really want to do a Disney Wedding...do it!

Here is another one...

Good Luck!

 

[lpizzuro123]

Most everyone that we have told about the wedding have been very supportative. We are older (both of us are 49) - I have never been married and my DF was married once and has a 19 year old son. We have been together over 15 years and most of our friends knew it would happen one day and as they all know we love Disney they kind of figured it would be there. I have gotten a few negative comments like why don't the two of you get married by yourself and have a party here when you get back.

My dad was surprised when we first told him about it but we brought him to our site visit and he got a much better idea of what it will be like. We are having our planning session next week and as my DF's dad lives in Orlando we asked if he wants to go with us. He is not a Disney lover so we are still not sure if he will come to the planning session but will definately come to the wedding.

We have invited around 75 people and have 45 definate yes - 12 definate no - and the rest are not sure yet. We hope to mail out invitations out in late June and get a better count then.

Do not give up on your dream and change your mind about your Disney wedding. Who ever doesn't come - will miss the wedding of a lifetime - and maybe feel a little sorry after. This is your day and you need to do what you want and what will make you happy. If anyone says anything just say this is what we want - I honestly feel like because we are older and the second marriage for my DF we wanted to something non traditional - we are hoping the wedding is just like a big party.

One of my bridesmaids said to me this morning (we have been friends for over 30 years from highschool) - that it took my wedding for all of us to go away together.

Keep doing what you want.

Linda

 

[irisbud]

My advice is if you want to do it, you should go ahead and do it. It is your wedding, not theirs.

I have had a lot of negativity (not as much as you are having, by the sound of it). At first it bothered me, but it bothered my BF even more, to the point where he was thinking the Haters had vaild points!

My MoH told me "Look it's your wedding. It's one of the most important days of your life and it's just another day out of their lives, so if they don't like it, @?!* them!"

I took her advice to heart. Not that I want to make things hard on people and be a Bridezilla, but just that ultimatly it is MINE and MY FIANCES wedding! If they don't like it, then they can make different choices. I don't tell them that getting married in a church is "stupid" (not that I think it is, I'm just saying), lament endlessly about money spent, or bicker over petty details.

I explained this to my DF and a light went on and he totally understood

This is a common question on these boards that I think most all of us have asked in one form or another. I think ultimatly it comes down to deciding to do what you want to do in spite of the haters, and realizing that it is YOUR day. I know, personally, if I let them get to me and did it their way I would regret it forever. But you have to chose to either put on the haterblockers or give into their hatred. Just make sure you are making the right choice for YOU.

 

[JameysGirl57]

Don't give up on this! ​

While orginially I had some family who were a little reserved about coming such a far distance (most of our family is from VA) for my wedding, they all came to realize that this was our wedding. I'm not forcing anyone to come and am considering having an at home reception sometime after we return.

Granted, as soon as we were engaged and picked our day, we immediately began telling everyone where and when our day was going to be. We told them that we were aware that it was a long distance to travel, but would understand if they could not come. Therefore, everyone has 17 months to plan for this event.

The most important thing to remember is- This is YOUR wedding! Not anyone elses and if they can't understand your decision, then oh well! It is their loss. You do what you want to do and enjoy your day!

PS- just for you!

 

[inkedupmomma]

thank you all so much!! I think the fact that this wedding is not set in stone is whats bothering me most!! we still havnet asked df mom if she will help pay for this wedding (without her help, it aint happening!) so everyones negativity is just making that much worse and making it seem unattainable!! but i want this so bad... and idk who said it, but if i hear one more time why dont you just go to the jop then do a prty.. i'm gonna scream.. like oh i never thought of that..great idea...jeeeeeeez

again, thanks for all your support!

 

[Goldeelox9]

I have had a lot of negativity too. I knew going into this planning that everyone wasn't going to love it and everyone wasn't going to come. It is hard knowing my Grandparents (and my Aunts and uncles and cousins) will not be there. It is hard when there are people who you know would be at your weddin gif it was in your town won't be there, but everyone picks DInsey (or anyplace they are getting married) for a reason. My reason was that my sister got married here in Baltimore 2 years ago and her wedding was lovely, BUT my mom wasn't here. She passed away 5 years ago (5 years today actually) and the wedding was SO hard on me, it was in my Mom's church and the reception was nearby. It was like something was missing. Disney and cruising are my favorite things and we couldn't afford to get married in WDW so we went with the cruise. We have about 30 people coming and it is perfect! I am sad that about 100 people won't be there, they would have been there if it was here in Baltimore, but I think it will be easier for me and it will be FABULOUS! You have your heart set on Disney....DOn't give up your dreams! They are yours and this is Your wedding. If you only end up with 6 guests then they will be special and your day will be special!

 

[Goldeelox9]

Also if money is an issue, look into the cruise....It is affordable (not so much when you add on a honeymoon in WDW and tons of pictures....LOL)

 

[sungela]

In planning our wedding and reading about everyone else's, I've realized that no matter where or when you have it, people will complain. If we had it in CT, where I'm from, the closest airports are an hour away, and people would hate that. If we had it in NJ, where we live, my family would gripe about driving 4 hours to get here. If we got married in May, no one with kids could come. If we got married in July, it would be too hot. But we're getting married in June, so everyone already has another wedding to go to or their third cousin twice removed is graduating from high school. We've also had more than a few people make what we know to be fake excuses because they don't want to watch two women kiss. At first, I got really upset about our ever-shrinking guest list, but then I realized that the people who mattered--the ones who really cared about us and loved us--would be there. And who cares about the haters! If someone really doesn't want to go down to Disney, you can still have a party, and tell them to give you what they would have spent on flights and hotels.

When people make disparaging comments, I usually stress the convenience factor: no need to get a rental car, you can make a vacation out of it, and they give me a wedding planner. Can't beat that.

 

[Skylarr29]

I think so many of us have gone through this.

DF's family is Catholic and to them it is SO strange for us to get married at Disney. I have gotten all the usual comments like "Is Goofy going to marry you?" or "Is that even legal?"

The people who love you and mean the most to you WILL make it! Once they see that you are firm and standing your ground they will come around. And if not, less money for you to spend. I don't want to surround myself with negative people so I cut our guest list from about 125 to 37. I am much happier.

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

if i would have had a wedding at home i would have had about 300 guests

i decided on a dftw & only had me, DH, my mom & her hubby, no one else came
but i was PERFECTLY ok with it cause it was perfect & all about me & DH anyway
after we got back & people say pictures, most of the comments were "WOW, THIS was in WDW!!! its beautiful" & "oh, i wanted to go but i couldnt take off work"

i think you should have the wedding of your dreams & let the snide comments of others just roll off

 

[ElleBren]

I totally agree with everyone. If you want it do it do it! We have been having the same problem. We live in New Jersey, as does most of his family. My family lives in Florida and I used to before I moved up here. Having a DFTW was a no brainer. People are going to make the effort if they want to. I have a few cousins who won't be able to make it for one reason or another. I don't really buy the whole travel deal because it was ok when they got married to ask our family to fly from Florida and stay in a hotel for their weddings. Traveling for a wedding is most likely what you have to do.

Pretty much I told people come if you can, if you can't you will be missed, but I'm not going to change plans for my day for you. Maybe I'm selfish, but its what I feel. Good luck & don't let the negativity get to you!

Lana

 

[newyearsbride]

Yeah, we've gotten our share of the slack too. But, for every negative person, remember there is someone out there to support you. It is YOUR wedding, and at the end of the day YOU'RE the one who has to be happy with it. Stick to it girl

 

[PrincessBride07]

In planning our wedding and reading about everyone else's, I've realized that no matter where or when you have it, people will complain.

I agree 100%. We were originally planning to have the big wedding at home. I had so many people complaining and telling us what to do. It was one of the biggest reasons we went to Disney.

I can tell you that those who didn't want to travel that far, or fealt that it was going to be childish/stupid wedding, were the ones who had the best time. Everybody enjoyed our wedding, and even had a nice relaxing trip out of it.

 

[inkedupmomma]

wow.. even my bf just texted me and told me to stop feeling bad for myself, what do i expect with a wedding so far away.

If this is her attitude then maybe noone will come.. i'm so pissed/hurt right now. Am i really being a jerk for expecting/wanting people to do this for me?? I know the economy is ****ty, but there are ways to do this pretty cheap.. right? Maybe i'll just invite all of you to my wedding!!

 

[hope1826]

We've also had more than a few people make what we know to be fake excuses because they don't want to watch two women kiss.

Aren't fake excuses for ridiculous reasons loads of fun! We got fake excuses from a few of our Roman Catholics guests who realized that we weren't going to have an RC wedding and were scared that they were going to go to hell for attending our Disney wedding.

Also, my brother backed out only a month before the wedding even though my our dad paid for his hotel room and had already bought the flowergirl and jr. BM dresses for my nieces.

His excuse was..."It's just not for us right now."


I agree with everyone. You have to do what is right for you and your DF. And try to ignore the comments.

When people see the few wedding pictures I have, they are shocked that it was at Disney. "Where is the castle?" "Where is Mickey?" "Is this a normal Disney wedding?"

They are seriously shocked that Mickey didn't marry us and that we didn't take our vows on Space Mountain. Most people don't understand that Disney weddings ARE actually "NORMAL" weddings.

I vote for surrounding yourself with the people who are supporting you and inviting disboard members to fill in for the nay sayers!

 

[hope1826]

wow.. even my bf just texted me and told me to stop feeling bad for myself, what do i expect with a wedding so far away.

If this is her attitude then maybe noone will come.. i'm so pissed/hurt right now. Am i really being a jerk for expecting/wanting people to do this for me?? I know the economy is ****ty, but there are ways to do this pretty cheap.. right? Maybe i'll just invite all of you to my wedding!!

You are completely NOT being a jerk!!

Maybe you should consider a Disney Escape wedding, with only the people who are not complaining and then have an At-Home reception for everyone else.

I had a pre-wedding bon-voyage reception (I wore a wedding dress, had a wedding cake, people gave toasts,etc ) the week before our Disney wedding for 150 people (including the fake excuse givers). And then had 38 at Disney. I am so glad that the people who were complaining ended up excusing themselves, because I think it would have been very hard for me to deal with them emotionally in the days leading up to the wedding.

DH's parents paid for the reception up here, because they wanted it. By letting them do that, they didn't complain about Disney anymore. They were happy that they got their NJ style fancy reception.

 

[inkedupmomma]

Aren't fake excuses for ridiculous reasons loads of fun! We got fake excuses from a few of our Roman Catholics guests who realized that we weren't going to have an RC wedding and were scared that they were going to go to hell for attending our Disney wedding.

Also, my brother backed out only a month before the wedding even though my our dad paid for his hotel room and had already bought the flowergirl and jr. BM dresses for my nieces.

His excuse was..."It's just not for us right now."


I agree with everyone. You have to do what is right for you and your DF. And try to ignore the comments.

When people see the few wedding pictures I have, they are shocked that it was at Disney. "Where is the castle?" "Where is Mickey?" "Is this a normal Disney wedding?"

They are seriously shocked that Mickey didn't marry us and that we didn't take our vows on Space Mountain. Most people don't understand that Disney weddings ARE actually "NORMAL" weddings.

I vote for surrounding yourself with the people who are supporting you and inviting disboard members to fill in for the nay sayers!

hahaha i love it!! dont know how df would actualy feel about a wedding full of disboarders though! i'm over my fam and "friends" right now. even if i couldnt possibly go to a wedding for my bff i'd be sooo excited for her and do everythng i could to help.