FRUSTRATED with DH, about haircut, can anyone relate?

[Aimeedyan]

I'm so sad!

I'm almost 26 yrs old, and people think I'm closer to 19... I am tired of it, I *need* to look mature and capable, not like a teenager, esp for my line of work. So, I went and got a new haircut. It's short, choppy, and makes me look MUCH older (I had grown my hair out shoulder length, all one length, with bangs and was wearing it in a ponytail)

Come home, DH is here for lunch, and he gives me this *look* and then gives me the cold shoulder the entire hour!!!!!!!!

At one point, I asked him what his problem was, because I was in a good mood and feeling good about myself, and he said 'your hair.'

How shallow is that!!!!

I said 'so you're going to treat me like this because I got my hair cut?!' and he said 'for now.'

Jerk.

So I started to cry (pathetic, I know) because I just couldn't believe that MY HUSBAND would act like that. I was so mad! We've always had a mutual respect relationship, and that kind of reaction reminds me of abusive and controlling husbands that I know. And I told him so.

We're supposed to leave tomorrow to see Josh Groban and celebrate our anniversary at a nice hotel... I have no desire to spend time with him. This pisses me off!

Am I totally blowing it out of proportion? Does your DH react that way over hairstyles or something equally stupid? What do you do?

 

[stinkerbelle]

ok - first off, consider yourself lucky that your DH even noticed you got a haircut. (DH only knows when I tell him I'm going, and am gone for 6 hours.)

Right before our wedding I colored my hair...it was very dark, closer to my natural color then I'd had in a while...and got a very blunt cut (which i wasn't thrilled with)...well, neither was DH. He was quiet about it...but didn't say much. 4 or so months later when I had highlights and my hair had grown out, he said "that's how I like it...longer and blonder"

well these highlights ain't cheap my dear!

he'll get over it...don't worry about it...as long as YOU like it, ignore what your DH is saying. Ask him if your hair being different will really cause him to look at you differently/feel differently about you. I'm sure it won't.

of course - every time DH makes faces at me (cross eyed/gorilla lips) I say to him "Stop it! If your face freezes that way I won't love you anymore"...and that just makes him do it more. hehehe

 

[Pin Wizard]

From what I've seen lately, men are VERY shallow. At least I'm single and can send them packing.

If my DH had reacted like that in the past, I would have been very ticked.

 

[TigerBear]

What is it with men and long hair? My ex-husband was the same way.

I totally understand why you are hurt - does he love you or your hair? But I can also understand why he may be a little shocked. He loved something about you physically and now it is different. I bet with a little time to adjust he will realize that you are still the same sexy woman that you have always been.

 

[SC Minnie]

My hair was half way down my back when we got married. 2 eweeks after honeymoon I had it chopped off to about chin length. DH about fell out of his chair when I walked into the kitchen. He never said anything bad about it. But eventually I let it grow out and he admitted he liked it longer.

Your husband is being very childish. He will just have to get over it. What would be do if something happened like on another thread and your hair was falling out???? Its just hair. Surely he didn't marry you just because of it.

 

[LisaSt]

My wife always tells me when she doesn't like my haircut which is usually any time I get it cut. I have been known to act that same way as your hubby to so don't feel bad we now what we like on our women

 

[oogieboogie]

You know what... if your DH doesn't like, well that's tough for him. My DH also likes longer hair, and I can't stand them. It's a running joke here when I get a haircut, he'll say "Oh, there's my little boy", and I'll go "Oh, so now you're gay and a pedophile to boot?"

Jokingly of course...

I think your DH was being very childish and insensitive. What matters is that you like your hairstyle and you're happy with it.

 

[Kallison]

What is it about men and long hair?! I used to have waist length blonde hair -- got lots of wolf calls all the time. As I (ahem) matured I decided I wanted it shorter, so I gradually got it cut. I swear DH would be waiting at the back door with a ruler when I got home. Now it is just below my shoulders. He'll still comment when he thinks it is too short, but I just say"It's my head, deal with it". No I don't think your DH should have reacted that way. I would tell him to kiss my ***, I'll shave it next time. Then go have a nice weekend.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

I totally agree with you, Aimeedyan. I'd be highly irritated. It's YOUR hair.

 

[CindysGusGus]

My hair was down to my shoulders and I cut mine to be almost spikey short. My DH told me to go back and glue it on. Seeing how he has lost almost all of his hair I told him to go glue it on his head instead. That was the end of that!

 

[dsnylvr]

My wife cut her hair short after 15 years of having long beautiful hair. I didnt like it. I told her I didnt like it. She told me I would get used to it. Well...I havent got used to it. She told me she wanted a change...well...I understand that.

I have 4 daughters, all HAD long hair. Of course..mom cut hers so they all cut theirs. Now I have 4 daughters with short hair. Mabey its the guy in me, but I dont like it. Course...my wife said I would get used to it....humm...I still havent got used to it.

Last time I went in to get my hair cut I had my head shaved BALD, (I tell ya, having your head bic'ed is a wierd feeling. Walked into the house and my wife FREAKED. Told me she hated it. Told me she couldnt believe I would do that. Said it makes me look like a criminal.

I told her she would get used to it.

I love marriage. 18 years and counting.

 

[snoopy]

How hurtful. I'd be upset too. I'm sure your hair looks really pretty, and what is most important is that YOU like it.

 

[WeirdEyes]

dsnylvr....LOL! Since you did that, I don't think I'll cut my hair now because if DH came home like that, I'd faint! I'd love to cut my hair, but I have a fat face and short hair makes it look fatter. I've tried it. Now that my son is 16, him and DH gang up on me and tell me how great my hair looks long, etc. So, now I just pull it back in barrettes or a ponytail if I get hot. DH doesn't like it in a ponytail, but I told him tough. You can't have it both ways.

Oh and one time I came home after getting my hair cut VERY short...years ago, and DH wouldn't talk to me for 3 days! I have to admit now, it was an ugly cut....you know, the mushroom one that was popular years ago. OMG...ugly!

 

[sgtdisney]

Have you and your hubby ever discussed his feelings about your hair? I will admit his reaction was over the top, but most men (myself included) really prefer longer hair on their spouses or girlfriends. Getting really long hair cut very short is a pretty dramatic thing, it is very noticable. It would be like if a guy permed and then colored his hair green, or shaved off a beard if it was something you really liked on him (Or shaved all their off like the poster above. That is funny!)

It is the individual's choice, but it does have some effect on your spouse. He'll get over it, but it sounds like he does owe you an apology for the comments he made.

 

[Growin'upDisney]

I agree with most here - It's OK that he doesn't like it and had the right to tell you so BUT the way in which he did it was hurtful and you have the right to be upset. He should have just simply mentioned he didn't necessarily like it but what could he really do about it now.

I have cut my hair a couple of times since dating and being married to DH. He would tell me he liked my long hair better but siad "It's your hair and ca do what you want with it."

Like I said he has a right to his opinion but remember the daying, "Opinions are like $%?@)(%&, everyone has one!!"

Tell him it's your head, get over it, and have a great weekend. Men sometimes just have a poor way of expressing their thoughts. Don't let it ruin your weekend.

 

[Rajah]

Disliking your new haircut and letting you know is one thing.

Giving you the cold sholder is something else entirely.

Yup, I'd be upset.

 

[Towncrier]

I know that I am venturing into dangerous territory but here goes. I haven't been overjoyed with my wife's hairstyles over the years. I can't stand it when she gets her hair permed. I can't say why I like her hair longer, but I do. And when I shaved my head, she kept telling me that I looked like a cancer patient.

All that said, I have come to realize that it's her hair and (obviously) her choice how to have it cut, styled, permed, and colored (if she ever gets to that point). If I don't like it, then that's too bad. After 19 years of marriage, we're not going to let hairstyles get in the way of our relationship. But it took us awhile to get to that point. Or should I say, it took ME a some time.

 

[SnoWhite]

Wow, I guess I'm lucky. I had long hair and told my then FI, that I wanted to cut it. I asked him what he thought about that. He said go for it, I want you to do whatever makes you feel good.

So I did!

It is shorter now than it ever has been, and he likes it. He said as long as I'm happy, he's happy.

I think that your DH reaction is very childish. If you like it that's really all that matters, and if it makes you feel good, you keep it that way!

Lisa

 

[lucky_bunni]

I'm reading along this thread and I can't EVEN believe the reactions from the men... So it's ok for you to get upset at your wife/girlfriend because she doesn't have butt-length Demi Moore hair? That style is soooo out anyway and has been since the late 80s/early nineties. It's pathetic that someone would get upset to the point of not talking to someone for DAYS or even HOURS over HAIR. For god sake! It's her hair and it's probably a matter of comfort if anything to cut it short. It's hot, it's hell to take care of, and the style is out. Urg!!!

 

[lucky_bunni]

Lisa - I just gotta give my daily shout-out to Lilo... the cutest doggy on the boards!