From WDW to DL With Love - January 06, 2011 part 4

[valbob89]

I was on the witness stand for 6 hours ones as a witness for my company. The software companies lawyer keep asking me to recount the number of severity 1-4 problems open from a flip chart in front of me and the jury. The total was 16. He apparently thought the sum was something else. After the 8th time he asked me to recount, which I calmly did, while the jury laughed, the judge asked him if he knew how to count. So I appreciate these funnies, hope you do too.

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

[ACDSNY]

LOL...good ones Val

 

[granmaz]

Very funny, thanks for the laugh!!

 

[KayR]

On another completely different note, I need some therapy from you all. My kids all of them are having financial difficulties, this was a bad year for us medically/financially, wedding expenses and cruise expenses. I am going thru a bit of depression now, feeling like I dont deserve to go on this cruise since the kids are having trouble. Now they are hurting, sets of kids are living in houses we bought and not paying us, so they have roofs over their heads and have food. Is it just the holiday stress that is freaking me out? Help

Old lady here. In my opinion, at some point in their lives, you have to cut them loose and not take their stresses on to yourself. Presumably they are all out of high school and on their own, making their own choices. No doubt, times are tough. The tough will get through them. Some people only learn by experience (I was one of them). I, personally, not only would NOT bail them out, nor would I feel guilty over it.

If you've had the tough year you say - you DO deserve this cruise! And when your kids are your age, they will have weathered the current storm, and can take their OWN cruise.

Tami,

First of all from us.

I agree with LindaBabe. You can (and should) be there for your kids, but that doesn't mean you have to bail them out all the time. I have seen this happen. A person I know was always bailed out by her mother. She made more and more bad choices and became dependent on her mother to help her. When her mother passed, there was no one to bail her out. Things got worse. I feel sorry for her that she made the bad choices, but at the end of the day, she made them and she has to live with them and find a way forward for herself. Do your kids a favor and help them learn to find their own way, don't find it for them!

When I had just started working, my mom always made me pay for my rent when I was living at home. It wasn't so much the amount of money that I contributed, but the fact that I was paying something for my keep. I didn't earn much, I couldn't afford much, but I did contribute.

As for deserving the cruise. It sounds as though you not only deserve the cruise, you double deserve it for helping your kids as much as you have. They should be able to see that. You should see that!

You also need the cruise to help you rest and de-stress from your life. That way you can be refreshed when you go back to your family. Enjoy your cruise. You do deserve it!!

Oh and a few more of these for you too

-Kay

 

[orlandothebeagle]

Still no cruise docs. Got an email response from DU she says Disney mailed the docs to me on Nov 22!!! Calling Disney now.



On another completely different note, I need some therapy from you all. My kids all of them are having financial difficulties, this was a bad year for us medically/financially, wedding expenses and cruise expenses. I am going thru a bit of depression now, feeling like I dont deserve to go on this cruise since the kids are having trouble. Now they are hurting, sets of kids are living in houses we bought and not paying us, so they have roofs over their heads and have food. Is it just the holiday stress that is freaking me out? Help

Im sorry but you have got to let them get on with it...... I would simply HATE that I burdoned my folks like you are worrying, Im sure they dont want you to worry, they will get there in the end.
Switch off as much as you can and enjoy cruise planning.

 

[TxMermaid1]

thanks Val... I laughed til I was crying.... those are so funny!!!

 

[RRBB]

Tonight DH and I are taking the kids downtown for dinner at the Adolphus hotel, then the kids and I are staying the night. (DH has to work early in the morning and doesn't want to fight traffic.) After breakfast in morning, the kids and I are going to walk outside and find our reserved seats for the annual Children's Hospital holiday parade.

A good friend of DS's has been fighting Leukemia this year and was one of 5 kids chosen to be a Grand Marshal in the parade. (Thankfully he is doing really well and is alredy back at school after a bone marrow transplant back in June.) Here's a bit his mother just posted - and some links -

Well, tomorrow is the big day! The annual Children's Medical Center Parade kicks off at 10:00am and will be aired locally on WFAA Channel 8. I hear that it will also be broadcast across Texas and the United States (maybe not live, at different times - check your local listings or this link...it may be on in your area, as it will be broadcast coast to coast!):

http://www.childrens.com/Parade/ParadeDay/Broadcasts.cfm

DS is one of 5 grand marshals for the parade. 3 of the 5 are transplant patients (heart, kidneys and stem cell). It just hit me that out of all of the new cancer and stem cell transplant patients they treated at Children's last year (approx. 1000), they chose DS to represent the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders...that is a huge honor. He must have made an impression on someone! Maybe it was the Indiana Jones whip?

http://www.childrens.com/patientsfamilies/news/annual-childrens-holiday-parade-bigger--better.cfm

We're all very excited to watch the parade live, and especially so see a dear friend that is doing so well in it. And I'm really excited that the weather looks to be nice and only on the cool side, not COLD.

 

[RRBB]

Happy 3rd night of Hanukkah to all celebrating.

I hope you enjoy tonight's Hanukkah song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbNhk...eature=related

 

[tlungstrum]

If all goes well we will leave for FL tomorrow. It will probably take us at least 3 days.Keep us in your prayers for a safe trip. I don't know how much internet access we will have on the way down. Looking forward to getting to warmer weather. I will have a lot of cleaning to do since we have not been there since we came back from the Med cruise in May.
We plan on going to WDW for Dec.9 and 10 for the Candlelite Procession and then on the 14th for MVMCP. Anyone else going to be there then?

Hope the rest of your trip is safe and quick. We will be around that weekend and may head up to WDW. Let us know if you'd like to meet and we'll see what we can do.

 

[A Litle Pixie Dust]

Still no cruise docs. Got an email response from DU she says Disney mailed the docs to me on Nov 22!!! Calling Disney now.



On another completely different note, I need some therapy from you all. My kids all of them are having financial difficulties, this was a bad year for us medically/financially, wedding expenses and cruise expenses. I am going thru a bit of depression now, feeling like I dont deserve to go on this cruise since the kids are having trouble. Now they are hurting, sets of kids are living in houses we bought and not paying us, so they have roofs over their heads and have food. Is it just the holiday stress that is freaking me out? Help

Don't think you do not deserve this..the reasons you listed are the reason you do! You have taken care of them and you need to go out and enjoy yourself!

 

[tlungstrum]

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it today We got our cruise docs in central FL yesterday!! Getting ready for a productive weekend.

 

[tlungstrum]

Just a reminder for anyone who's interested

Everyone would make a 2 page 12x12 spread (for yourself) and bring it with you to show off and for others to get ideas from, also take a picture and print out a copy for each person participating. Then just bring enough of all of the things you used: stickers, titles, mats, photo corners, tags, and the paper of course etc for each participant. This way people can re-create the page you made using the photo as a guide, or if they prefer a slightly different style or size book they could use the supplies as they see fit. Everything except for the paper would fit into ziplock bags easily so the "kits" would be easy to pass out.

I'm thinking we would do it on a sea day sometime after Aruba because I know there's that Walmart there and if anyone wanted maybe they could even print a few pics to work with. Then we could meet up somewhere and show off our pages we made and pass out the "kits" we are trading. Then if people want to stay and work and talk they can but if some are busy they can just trade and go. I have a DCL punch and maybe a few other things I could bring for people to use if they want to.

Please let me know if you are intereted and which port/theme you would like, remember it's first come first served on the choices and a PM with Scrapbook in the subject line. Embarktion Day/Port Canaveral
Lifeboat Drill
Castaway Cay
Aruba
Panama Canal
Puntarenas
Manzanillo
Puerto Vallarta
Cabo San Lucas
Debarktion Day/Port of LA
Day at Sea
Pirate Night
Golden Mickeys
Prince & Princess
Mexicali
Captain's Gala
Animator's Palate
Parrot Cay
Tritons

 

[valbob89]

Just a reminder for anyone who's interested


I'm thinking we would do it on a sea day sometime after Aruba because I know there's that Walmart there and if anyone wanted maybe they could even print a few pics to work with.

On the WBTA we discovered Shutters will print 4x6 prints for $.40 each. You just bring your memory card from the camera and they have a computer on the counter you can look at your pictures and select any you want to print. They are ready the next night.

Val

 

[DCL_FAN_TAC]

It's Friday & our CRUISE DOCs arrived in the mail

We are doing the happy dance in Houston tonight!!!!

for those with connections & concierge access...any ideas on what entertainment will be onboard with us? We John Charles...of course, Mickey & gang are entaintainment enough!!

i've, too, had the bam humbugs this year -- or maybe it's just i CAN NOT WAIT to get back onboard...irregardless, i'm ready to put 2010 into the history books and know that 2011 will bring WONDERful things...

Stay safe & see u REAL soon

Tahara

 

[carmie3377]

Carmie, I'll see if I can pull some strings with concierge to get you early tender passes

Jeff, that would be wonderful! THANK YOU so much.

I hope some pixie dust will come your way!

Carmen -- I hope everything works out for the pirate cruise.
tenya

Carmen - what a bummer about Cabo Fingers crossed for you all.
I had a pleasant surprise today..... DD1 received an award at her final assembly today for great results in an international mathematics competition. I'm sooo proud of her !!
Sally

Thank you all! And Sally, congrats to your daughter!!!

II have been sick with bronchitis after already having it for 5 weeks in September. I have been out on temporary medical leave and am going crazy! I won't be performing in this weekends candlelight performance as previously stated since I am not allowed on property during medical leave. Just hoping all this sickness clears up before our vacation. Hope everyone else is doing well and looking forward to seeing you all soon!

Holly

Holly, hope you start to feel better soon

It's Friday & our CRUISE DOCs arrived in the mail

Tahara

I'm not home today and what a nice surprise it will be if I find docs when I get back home to Houston! Now I can't wait to check my mail!!!

 

[aan1701]

It's Friday & our CRUISE DOCs arrived in the mail

We are doing the happy dance in Houston tonight!!!!

for those with connections & concierge access...any ideas on what entertainment will be onboard with us? We John Charles...of course, Mickey & gang are entaintainment enough!!

i've, too, had the bam humbugs this year -- or maybe it's just i CAN NOT WAIT to get back onboard...irregardless, i'm ready to put 2010 into the history books and know that 2011 will bring WONDERful things...

Stay safe & see u REAL soon

Tahara

Well I know Susan Eagan will be performing. That is fact. I too hope John Charles is on. I love what he does to the America song, The Horse With No Name. It is absoultly hilarious.

 

[DCL_FAN_TAC]

Well I know Susan Eagan will be performing. That is fact. I too hope John Charles is on. I love what he does to the America song, The Horse With No Name. It is absoultly hilarious.

We John Charles too! DD wants to ask him to perform the theme from TV's Star Trek...he did it on our past cruise -- one word 'priceless' for our inner-Trekkies!!

Any 'famous' people? Ducky Williams is scheduled, will Disney send other ambassadors?? We are hoping & wishing!

Alan -- sending you Pixie Dust and crossing-fingers that everything works for sail-away with all of us on the 6th!! If it helps...I have 3 more SWA trips to book (my contribution to the economy stimulus plan!)...

TAC

 

[tlungstrum]

On the WBTA we discovered Shutters will print 4x6 prints for $.40 each. You just bring your memory card from the camera and they have a computer on the counter you can look at your pictures and select any you want to print. They are ready the next night.

Val

Thanks! That's great to know!

 

[aan1701]

We John Charles too! DD wants to ask him to perform the theme from TV's Star Trek...he did it on our past cruise -- one word 'priceless' for our inner-Trekkies!!

Any 'famous' people? Ducky Williams is scheduled, will Disney send other ambassadors?? We are hoping & wishing!

Alan -- sending you Pixie Dust and crossing-fingers that everything works for sail-away with all of us on the 6th!! If it helps...I have 3 more SWA trips to book (my contribution to the economy stimulus plan!)...

TAC

Well my friend has told me to expect a gift from Ducky. Things look good that we will not have to cancel right now. Still only time will tell. Thanks for the three more trips. I hope they go well.

 

[valbob89]

Yesterday we took our cat to the vets because he has been dropping weight. I had brought him in in October and they said he was fine. Yesterday they said he hadn't lost that much but agreed he had gotten real bony fast. They told me they thought it was thyroid since he is fine accept for some vomiting and the weight issue. The new young vet just called to say it isn't thyroid. She thinks it is lymphoma and wants us in tomorrow to do a sonagram.

I feel so sad, I've had him 10 years and he is such a dear. I don't want him to go through anything painful, especially if there is little hope. I am a strong believer that if you assume responsibility for a pet you have to take responsibility completely, not just when it is convenient to do so. Do I cancel the trip and start him on chemo? I guess I just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

There is always something. val