Freaking out...mommy help needed!

[Erin1700]

First let me say, I will talk to the doctor, just not tonight.

We live near a minor league baseball stadium and they set off fireworks at Friday home games. We can see and hear them from our house.

Last weekend there was a thunderstorm early in the evening and then 2 hours later they set off the fireworks. When DS heard the thunder, he threw up and was scared. Then he was fine. fireworks start later that night and he gets scared and throws up again. He is fine the rest of the night. I did keep him in the bathroom until the fireworks were over.
Tonight, he was sleeping (window opened...never again) heard the fireworks, started to cry a little and threw up. I kept him in the bathroom and I kept the sink on, he played and was fine.

No other loud noises scare him! We live near an airport with LOUD planes coming and going and he does not care. Sirens dont bother him either.
How concerned would you be over this?? I can make sure he doesn't hear the fireworks anymore but I can not control thunder!! Do you think he has a big problem? He does not fit any of the sensory processing symptoms.

 

[MoniqueU]

I don't think it is that big of a deal. I throw up when I am upset. At one point it was a few times a week. I would just make sure he eats something real mild or friday nights. I don't know maybe others will think it is more of a big deal, I am just used to it.

 

[Serena]

It's alright. He will be alright. This isn't a major thing although it feels like it. It sounds to me, one of the local quacks, that the firework sound has been connected to the thunder and he's reacting to it. I know they have those tapes or cd's of sounds of storms. I would get one and turn it on real low, just enough that he can hear it, but to low to worry about. Then gradually turn it up over weeks to get him used to it.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd just talk to the doctor and pray this will pass. My nephew was very, very afraid of thunderstorms and rain even. their house flooded badly twice years ago. He even started sleep walking and feeling the carpet to see if it was wet! At 17, he is still skiddish of storms. When he was little he'd cry if the sky got overcast even!! He'd think he heard thounder and thought he felt or saw a raindrop.

I remember having him and his little sister at AK and hearing the music played in there they'd both say, "Do I hear thunder?" Dan was with us there and he probably remembers how scared they were!

Bless his heart. No one likes to throw up! How terrible to be so afraid you get sick. He may need some type of therapy to get him over it so he isn't phobic or something. Honestly, anxiety and fear are terrible but for a child it is worse because they have no idea why/what they they are feeling. I hope your doctor can give you good advice. I know my nephew had to sleep with ear plugs in the summertime because storms could pop up in the night. We got him ones from the ambulance as they seems to work better.

 

[Buckalew11]

It's alright. He will be alright. This isn't a major thing although it feels like it. It sounds to me, one of the local quacks, that the firework sound has been connected to the thunder and he's reacting to it. I know they have those tapes or cd's of sounds of storms. I would get one and turn it on real low, just enough that he can hear it, but to low to worry about. Then gradually turn it up over weeks to get him used to it.

I think this may be a good idea... sorta get him used to the sound. Sort of like cognitive therapy right? isn't that what it is called when you are exposed to something little by little until you master the fear?

 

[Erin1700]

Thank you guys!! Now should I tell you that I have a psychology degree?? They werent kidding when they said it would not come in handy with your own kids!!

I will try the tape of a storm. I was thinking of getting him a headset to put on during a storm with some calming music.
I also think that it may be a learned behavior as my DD8 is afraid of storms, but not excessive about it. Andy is only 2 so he may be copying her.

 

[Buckalew11]

definitely. I think kids most certainly learn from each other and those around them--good things and "bad" things. I think my niece learned it from my nephew! She is 2 years younger. He learned it from my sister because she is absolutely petrified her house will flood again. She is constantly watching the weather channel and looking at the radar on line. Her fear is real though, she lived through the nightmare of what water can do. however, she did pass it along.

good luck!!

 

[minkydog]

Awww, poor baby! He's just scared. My younger sister used to throw up any time she was upset. Didn't matter what it was, thunder(*high on the list), a car back-firing, loud cheering at a football game, a parade, an argument--you could always count on at least one puke from L. She outgrew the behavior eventually. She's in her 40s now and works as a shepard in western Washington in a peaceful little tiny town about 2 miles from the Puget sound. If she gets scared now, she just goes down to the dock and gets a little fresh air. Right as rain!

Hope your little buddy has a restful night.

 

[minkydog]

Thank you guys!! Now should I tell you that I have a psychology degree?? They werent kidding when they said it would not come in handy with your own kids!!

I will try the tape of a storm. I was thinking of getting him a headset to put on during a storm with some calming music.
I also think that it may be a learned behavior as my DD8 is afraid of storms, but not excessive about it. Andy is only 2 so he may be copying her.

Psychology is only good when you DON"T have children.

My kids went through a period of being afraid of thunderstorms. We live in Georgia and that spring we had been forced to run to the basement 9-10 times during tornado warnings and storms. My oldest was about 9 and he took to sleeping in the basement laundry room because he was so afraid to sleep upstairs with the rest of us. I bought a CD of "The Grand Canyon Suite" . I"m not sure who wrote it,b ut when you listen to the music you can "hear" the donkeys hooves plodding along, the clouds moving in, the storm heating up, the donkeys runnning faster, the lightning strikes, the cloudburst and then the resolution of the sun coming out and still those donkey hooves plodding along. It really helped my kids to see that there is a beginning, a middle, and a peaceful ending to every storm. I don't know how many times we had to listen to it but it really did help them to calm down and understand the storm.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, perhaps you can enlist the help of your DD a bit on this one, since she has a storm fear too. Tell her "Your baby brother is afraid of thunder, so next time it thunders we have to be very brave and show him it's OK". I also like the idea of "conditioning" him to thunder. My father used to tell us it was the angels in Heaven bowling or moving furniture...for a little Catholic girl, that explanation made a lot of sense!

It probably is partially learned behavior based on your DD's reaction. My mother is afraid of thunder and I never knew it till I was older. When it thundered, she'd just sit quietly reading (or pretending to read ) a book. I was probably 15 before I realized she was afraid. She said she did that because she didn't want us to wind up afraid too.

As one whose stomach reacts when I am stressed, I feel for him. I don't usually vomit (I have to be REALLY stressed for that!) but I do usually end up in the bathroom, if you know what I mean.

 

[Piglets Mommy]

I don't think it's a big deal...I think he will grow out of it. With the fireworks, how is he if he can SEE the fireworks? Maybe try taking him to a location where he can see them, but far enough that thye aren't real loud, and see how he does. then hearing them won't be as scary. I know my DS was like that...he would freak out if he could hear but not see them, but if he could watch them, he was so into it, the sound wasn't as scary. I know our minor league team (may be the same one) has fireworks pretty much at every Fri and Sat night game, so how can you really avoid that? If there is a way you can get him "used to it" that could help. Also, on the storms....My MIL told my Nephew the thunder was "God Bowling." that really seems to calm him down. Good luck to you!

 

[Disney Ella]

It probably is partially learned behavior based on your DD's reaction. My mother is afraid of thunder and I never knew it till I was older. When it thundered, she'd just sit quietly reading (or pretending to read ) a book. I was probably 15 before I realized she was afraid. She said she did that because she didn't want us to wind up afraid too.

Your mother was very considerate not passing her fear on to you. My grandmother used to tell us stories about being forced to crowd into a closet with her brothers and sisters and mother because her mother was terrified of thunder.

I like the idea of gradually getting him used to the sound with an audio or video fireworks tape.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I hope you don't take offense to this, I just want to point it out.

I think the title of this thread is telling

Freaking out...mommy help needed!

I might expect "Concerned about my son", or "Help with fireworks" - but "freaking out" is a little extreme for this situation. I was expecting an arm hanging off or something.

Not knowing you or seeing the situation firsthand, I can't comment any further than that other than to say, keep it in mind. It does sound like you've handled it pretty well so far. But I think we sometimes do inadvertenly pass down some of our own reactions and idiosyncracies to our children without realizing it or meaning to. You could consider a professional evaluation, especially if you're seeing other issues as well. (You never said how old he is.)

My DS11's best friend has a problem with fireworks, and has as long as we've known him (since K). His mom is a special ed teacher and uses heavy duty/industrial headphones for him. He now takes them to parades and 4th of July events, etc, which is a big step for him since when he was younger, he couldn't go.

Good luck.

 

[luvsJack]

When my daughter was 4 she went through a time of being terrified of fireworks and fire. Now, her fear was tied to our house burning down do that may have made it different to work through.

Her ped recommended a child psychologist and she spent time every week letting dd blow out candles and matches and small things to let her feel safe. And they played games dealing with the loud sounds. She kept a recorder on during the entire sessions with different sounds; one of which was loud bangs like fireworks, dd listened to this over and over until she was used to the sounds. It didn't take long at all and dd was completely fear free!!



BTW, I understand what you mean by "freaking out". When dd started this, I too was freaking out. I mean we were at the Lion King show in Disney and my child started screaming and crying and trying to climb over me to get out when the fire dancer came out. Their reactions when they are afraid are enough to freak you out!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

When my daughter was 4 she went through a time of being terrified of fireworks and fire. Now, her fear was tied to our house burning down do that may have made it different to work through.

BTW, I understand what you mean by "freaking out". When dd started this, I too was freaking out. I mean we were at the Lion King show in Disney and my child started screaming and crying and trying to climb over me to get out when the fire dancer came out. Their reactions when they are afraid are enough to freak you out!

FWIW, I think experiencing a house burning down *would* warrant/justify/explain, what have you, an extreme reaction.

 

[JR6ooo4]

It sucks. OUr dogs are freaking out over fireworks. Neighbors are setting them off and the dogs are afraid to be in our own home now.

our oldest Q, was never afraid of anything. she would sit in the front yard with us as we watched our towns fourth of july show. But when freddy came, he was scared of them, nad now Q is more scared of them then he is.

Mikeee

 

[Disney Doll]

Another thing is that you have to appear calm. I would even downplay the noise a little...along the lines of "Oh, that little noise was probably a firework somewhere" or "It's summertime, so it's going to thunder" said in a very calm, even tone...almost like you are "indifferent" to the noise (not to your DS), if you KWIM?