This would be my response:
Dear Teacher,
Forgive me for belaboring the point, but I am sure you care as much as I do that the children are learning the foundations correctly.
I understand that the new math curriculum has resulted in a lot of confusion from the parents and that you would assume that my comment was related to not understanding a "different" method of instruction. In this case, however, I do understand the mental math strategy and just wanted to make sure it is being taught correctly.
I know we both agree that 653-29=624; just as we both agree that 624+29=653.
I also understand the concept of using round numbers (in this case, 30). The method you have described is correct for addition, but not subtraction. When rounding up in addition one must, as you indicated, then subtract from the result, since you have added one too many.
For example:
624+29=624+(30-1).
Further, because this is an addition problem, the following are also equivalent:
624+(30-1)=624+30-1.
However, when you round up in a subtraction problem, you have taken away one too many and, therefore, your number is one smaller than it should be. To get the correct result in a subtraction problem of this sort, you must add one, not subtract one. For example:
653-29=653-(30-1)=653-30+1
As I am sure you are aware, the following are not equivalent -- which is why the explanation you hastened to give me actually doesn't work in this case (or any subtraction problem):
653-(30-1) =/= 653-30-1
I understand that your days are busy and a room of 4th graders can be distracting. If you would still like to meet about this problem, I am happy to, but I would like to involve the principal in the discussion as well. If the 4th grade team agrees that our district's math program is intending to teach children that 654-29=622 and that 654-(30-1) is equivalent to 654-30-1, I'm sure you will agree that we need to escalate the issue. I will be happy to assist your team in any way to assure that we aren't miseducating the children at this very formative stage.