# four on the way

[mamaloya]

To Emmababy and Zoemakes5,

I totally did not mean to offend or come off as rude. No, you did not say that you wanted to stay home, and I was not directing my comment at you or anyone in particular. I am not debating the work vs stay home topic either. That is each persons individual choice and each person has the right to make the right choice for their family. I would never judge someone for not staying at home. I know I get judged for staying at home and don't like it, so I would not do that to others. We all love our children and that is that.

My comment was made becauxe, back when I was a working single mom (yes, I know that single/divorced moms HAVE to work) I got so angry at the married moms that would pullup in their brand new lexuses carrying a Gucci or Louis Vutton handbag wearing designer clothes complaining that they HAD to work to make ends meet. That is my peeve. Moms who claim that they WANT to stay home but CAN'T. If you want to work, work. That is what I was ranting about. I KNOW that there are many moms out there who HAVE to work, such as the single moms you mentioned. I was one once and the child support did not pay all the bills. I really wanted to stay home and couldn't. That is where I am coming from.

I don't even have anything against moms who work simply because they want a career, or moms who work because they want the bigger house or nicer car. That is their choice and I would never judge them for that. My comment was when they are working to have the bigger house and new car, but claim they want to stay home and "can't".

In the decade that I have been able to stay home, we have lived comfortably for periods of time and then struggled for periods of time. During the struggling time, we discussed my going to work, but decided to tough it out. We are now doing well and am glad that I made the sacrifices. We still have to make sacrifices like I mentioned before. Do I wish I could drive a new car or buy new clothes all the time? Heck yeah!!! But, I figure that will come later.

Once again, I apologize for coming across rude and judgemental. That really is not me. I know tone is not expressed over the internet. I was not saying that moms SHOULD stay home, I was just saying that, for most, if you really WANT to stay home, you can. Not always, but everyone I know claiming they HAVE to work, that is not the case.

Sorry again for not wording my post better. Please forgive me.

 

[LisaNJ25]

Oh, I can't space out kids to far, my DH is 40, so we want to be done having kids by the time he is 45 max. Also, he works out of town, so the different shifts won't work either! I love being a mom. Originally I thought 2 max, but now I think 3 would be great. The more the merrier! I was just trying to figure out how to provide childcare for all of them. My family isn't nearby, so no option there. Thanks to all that posted!

ahhh ok.. nope.. spacing wouldnt work for you than lol. I had my first at 18 and was done at 32.

 

[emmababy]

Thank you mamaloya for clearing that up. I think this post got way off track from OP's topic!! No hard feelings here!

 

[mamaloya]

Thanks for understanding emmababy. Yes we are way OT and it has gone in very many directions.

 

[tiggercrazy]

We also have 4! Right now they are 12, 10, 9, and 6. We drive everywhere we go, except for once, when we got a great deal on airfare. And, like a pp said, with all of the work that was, it would have been easier to drive. We do camp, but at WDW we always rent a house. For what we would have to pay on site it isn't worth it. The space, the pool and the kitchen are so worth the 10 minute drive into the parks each day!

Gongrats and good luck to the OP!

 

[PA Princess]

We also have four children...what a blessing and what an adventure it is! There are lots of hard moments, but aren't there in everything???? An besides, just because something is hard does not mean it isn't worth doing

The journey of having kids is one that teaches so many of us that we are simply not in control...and in case you do not get that message during the conception phase, no doubt your children will soon grow up and explain it to you

The number and how and how far apart is nothing at all how I pictured and sorta planned for our family, but I think it is just perfect the way it is.

We tried for 5 years to conceive a baby and then we adopted our oldest (happened very fast...what a whirlwind!). Of course, we never really tried to not have a baby, but we were still surprised to find ourselves pregnant with a 3 month old! Our boys are 1 year and 1 day a part.

We continued to try after that and even used medical help and we finally had dd. We were thrilled to have a a girl and I really thought we were complete (dh wanted one more but he respected my wishes). I was on the pill for the first time ever in my life, dh was 1 week away from his vasectomy date, and we learned I was pregnant

Shocked is the word...in fact I was so shocked, that I was literally in the delivery room moments from pushing our last dd out and I looked over at the bassinet and said to dh that I still could not believe we were having another baby! I think he was a little worried at that LOL

My kids are currently 12, 11, 6, and 2. As with all things there are positives and negatives to having the kids close or spread out...the baby stage will be more familiar, you do not have kids involved in all kinds of activties (that schedule alone is just insane!), your kids have playmates, etc.

I am sure you will have your hard things, but try to focus on all the good stuff...and there will be SO much of that! Congrats on your new addition!

 

[maedelken]

I am very lucky that my DH has a salary that allows me to stay at home. I do work a shift or two at night to make extra money but that is by choice. I imagine that four is expensive so I am lookin into getting my realestate license. Anyone an agent out there? Do you find that this type of job works well with multiple kids?

 

[tink_about_it]

4 girls here! They are now 10,8,4,& 2. They were all planned. I am a teacher so have the same schedule except for obvioulsy DD2. We have a great babysitter. 3 is the crazy # ...adding the 4th wasn't that big of a deal. There are so many things that are great about having a big family...although you get a lot of "YOU HAVE 4 KIDS? EVER HEAR OF BIRTH CONTROL?" I usually say something along the lines of "Birth Control? Never heard of it!" hehe! We drive to Disney and have a Ford E150 van. Never a dull moment with 4! Goodluck!

 

[carrie s]

Congrats on your fourth.I have 4, ages 4,7,11 and 12. I found that each baby I had the easier it got.I knew more what I was doing,felt more confident.It can get really loud in the house sometimes,with my 4 and their friends,but I love it.You just have to relax and not let the little things bother you.I dont have any advice for taking 4 kids to WDW, were going for the first time this summer. Just enjoy it

 

[carrie s]

I have a question for all the moms of 4plus children. How do you afford childcare? We have one DD now, and I am paying 11K a year in childcare. I would love to have a boatload of kids but can't understand how I would pay for them. Staying at home isn't really an option. I know some say that by the time you would pay for childcare you could stay home. But I can't give up my income.

Congrats to all!

I decided not to work outside the home.The amount that childcare and all the other expenses,like gas and work clothes would cost, it just wouldnt be worth it.The cost would probably be more then I would make. I had to do without alot of things over the year,we have an old house that needs alot of work,I dont have many clothes,our trip to WDW this summer is our first and probably only real trip ...... but it has been worth it.I love being home with my kids.One day I will go back to work but right now staying home is the best option for my family.

 

[tink_about_it]

I am a teacher and only had 2 in childcare at a time. It's cheaper here than in a big city. I pay only $120 a week for 2 right now. I personally don't have any fancy clothing or an expensive SUV or handbags (only fakes ) I drive a used 2001 Ford E150 van. We use a lot of hand-me-downs since they are all girls. Four will keep you on your toes though!

 

[pigget74]

Daycare here for 2 is 900, but we will get a 15% discount so that brings the total to $760 a month for an infant and toddler. It is cheaper here than a lot of other places. Good luck.

 

[tink_about_it]

pigget74-

I just love that countdown to the baby! How cool!