Welcome back Magikitty.
Welcome back to you too, LITC! And a big congratulations on the baby!
whgrn, I hope you are okey-dokey today!
Howdy to everyone else! Not much going on here. Just the everyday routine.... which means I'm off to get lunch fixed.
Oh yeah...
To bad I didn't have this one for Mother's Day. Oh well, a good laugh is better late than never....
REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me: LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me: IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
My mother taught me: WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me: ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have a wonderful mother like you do."
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
My mother taught me: ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
My mother taught me: HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My mother taught me: WISDOM .
" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!