Found out 2 8th graders at DD's middle school are pregnant

[HomeSweetDisney]

It's just sad really. The think is at my mom's friends school it's always the popular girls and the classmates tend to fawn over the mom's to be.

That's how it was at my school. I don't get it I don't feel it's something to be proud of or overly happy about. If I were 13 and pregnant I would be terrified, not excited.

 

[Caradana]

Good heavens. If it were my 8th grader - quiet abortion, and the school district would never have known a thing, and I hope that it would be a terrifying wake-up call for my daughter. Those two girls are now outcasts for the rest of high school - they will never be pursued by quality guys, they will never have "good girl" friends - the stigma is so strong.

 

[Alice28]

My mom was an L & D nurse & when I was about that age she told me, "I want you to be honest with me about needing birth control because I NEVER want to hear you tell me you're pregnant!! (I think she had helped a 15 year old deliver that day).

 

[goofysk8]

I have one question...where the heck are the parents? I hear oral *** is common in junior high (especially girls-->boys) but my gosh...sex and pregnancy? Babies raising babies.

 

[transparant]

I don't know if you guys recall me talking about attending a birth for a 13 year old girl that was going to put her baby up for adoption a few months ago...but she delivered in March.

She couldn't believe how many girls thought that pregnancy would be "fun". They all begged her to keep her baby - that it would be "fun".

She went through with the adoption - the adoptive parents were at the birth. Her mother is the one who called me to help her through the delivery. At the time I thought she was very nice. When the girl went into labor - mom was apparently 3 hours away with her boyfriend and didn't want to be with her. It was very sad.

This girl...now 14 still call's me probably 3 x a week - she's getting her life back in order and now lives with her Aunt and 3 cousins. She's in a new school and doing very well - I've even convinced her to join the track team which she has.

It just amazes me how these kids think it's "cute" and "fun" to be pregnant and have a baby.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

When I was in the 7th grade, there was a girl in my class who was pregnant. When I was in high school, there were girls who had 2 or 3 children. It's from the same boy that surprised me! Someone should lock him up.

 

[NMAmy]

This is why parents need to start talking about sex with their kids when they are VERY young - before the hormones kick in. .

I agree with you 100% KristaTX. I'm always appalled when I hear that parents haven't said a word about ANYTHING (periods, sex, etc.) until their kids see the video at school. That's way too late, IMO. Start young, in age appropriate ways, and it will become second nature.

DD knows about sex, she knows about birth control. She also knows that she can come to me with any kind of question and any kind of situation and I'll be willing to give her advice and not freak out. I don't want her to have sex until she's older and she knows that. She also knows that I'm available to help her make good choices.

 

[HollyJoy]

That's so sad.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

You know as much as that kind of stuff doesn't shock me anymore (which is sad in itself), I can't help but feel so bummed for the girls. I mean, I am 19 and technically considered an adult. But I am in no way ready to be a mother! I'm far too young and selfish to take care of a baby full time. That's such a HUGE responsibility and that's what these girls don't realize. Sure, all their friend's are telling them how cute they look and how fun it's going to be (uh, still don't get that ) but they don't know how hard it's going to be once that 9 months is over. I knew a girl in 8th grade who purposely refrained from using birth control because she wanted a baby. She came from a good family, was a straight A student, and played sports...everyone thought she was such a well rounded girl. But then she got pregnant and things were never the same for her. She didn't realize the enormity of her decision and after her baby was born she dropped out in 9th grade and the last I heard she was working full time at the local grocery store. Stuff like that just makes me sigh and shake my head

 

[Candace]

This is no longer surprising where we live. I have been a teacher/counselor in this school district for 30 years, and the problem has steadily gotten worse. We are in a tiny town of 8,000 people with a small high school population and there are 30+ pregnancies this year. My boys both had sixth grade classmates pregnant when they were in school and they are 20 and 24. No education program seems to help. Parents see nothing wrong with it - very accepting. These girls do not raise their babies; their mothers or grandmothers do. The teen fathers are never in the picture, nor do most of these teen mothers have fathers in the home. Pitiful, but I sure don't know the answer. At one time, a few years ago, our county in Arkansas had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation. Gee, what a thing to be known for!

 

[va32h]

Dd9 knows about sex, and periods, and babies. We have also taught her that sex is for grown ups, and it is not something that you do until you are a grown up yourself.

This is why it bothers me so very much when I see young kids encouraged to dress, act, and do things that have traditionally been for teens.

Kids think - hey I can dress like an adult, see R rated movies, wear makeup, high heels, have my own cellphone, hang out at the mall by myself, buy my own clothes and CDs, go to concerts -- I'm not a "kid". Having sex is just another cool thing that I can do.

It sickens me when I see girls my daughters age dressed like little adults (and skanky little adults to boot). It doesn't surprise me a bit that two 13 year olds are pregnant - we have totally obscured the line between childhood and adulthood.

 

[stinkerbelle]

they need to bring back the after school specials on teen pregnancy...

 

[lissawynn]

One of our 8th grade students was pregnant last year. I believe she had an abortion. The best part about all of this was it happened when she was in 7th grade, and the father was a junior in high school. As one of her teachers, I kept wondering where were her parents? This supposedly happened at her home after school.
We haven't had any so far this year, but the year isn't over yet.

 

[disneyatl]

My mom's best friend's daughter is a 5th grade school teacher and she has caught 5th graders in the act before!!!! Boy, times sure are different!

 

[bananiem]

I think I've posted this before but...When I was a senior (1983) I worked with a guy at a fast food restaurant. He said his advice to his sons was to "marry the one that gives you the most kids." Um, isn't that doing it backward?

 

[MELSMICE]

I hope they didn't single these kids out by naming them, they have enough odds stacked against them right now.

No, they did not single them out & give names. My DD's do not know them. My neighbor knows who they are though.

Just very sad all the way around.

 

[caitycaity]

Boy, times sure are different!

not sure how old you are, but kids were having sex in my (upper-middle class) middle school in the early 90's.

 

[Beth76]

You know, I'm so torn on this issue. On one hand I want to be open-minded and supportive of teen mothers because accidents happen. And I want to have respect for someone who sacrifices so much to give her child the best life she can.

But, then there's the group of kids who do it on purpose to be cool. And I know we can't really lump them together but we probably should. Maybe there needs to be more of a stigma about teen pregnancy instead of more understanding. It's getting ridiculous.

 

[bananiem]

You know, I'm so torn on this issue. On one hand I want to be open-minded and supportive of teen mothers because accidents happen. And I want to have respect for someone who sacrifices so much to give her child the best life she can.

But, then there's the group of kids who do it on purpose to be cool. And I know we can't really lump them together but we probably should. Maybe there needs to be more of a stigma about teen pregnancy instead of more understanding. It's getting ridiculous.

I agree with everything you said.

 

[jacksonsmom]

When I was in Jr. High (this was in the 80s) we had a handful of pregnant 7th/8th graders.
Some of them dropped out & I don't know what happened to them or their babies.
I knew one girl who had her first baby at age 13, had her second baby at age 15 & she went on to have another baby just before she turn 17 yrs old! She had 3 kids by the time she was 17 yrs old The really sad thing was they were all by different fathers. I felt so sorry for the babies, I wonder what kind of life they have now.
Oh I also heard she had an abortion at age 12 before she had her first baby!