former bf found murdered

[bubbleprincessmom]

OMG...just heard on the news that an old boyfriend was found shot to death and his house set on fire yesturday. Now don't get me wrong...I am not shedding any tears...just shocked. We lived together for 5 years and 17 years ago I left that house with the clothes on my back, I took what I could in my car and NEVER looked back. Tonight the memories of that abuse are as though it was yesturday though He was a violent violent man who one time tied his mother to a chair and made her watch an xrated movie that starred his sister. The day I left I knew if I ever went back he would kill me. I have been VERY careful over the years that he never know where I live or what my new name is. Two summers ago I was driving downtown Portland going to work pulling into my parking lot when I saw him on the corner....he looked at me and smiled...I turned around and called my boss that I would be late. I wasn't going to take a chance on him following me. I just told my sister that if it turns out some woman shot him I just might testify for her because I know all to well the brutality of this man. I hope thats not the case. I thank God EVERYDAY that he delivered me from that life and gave me my most wonderful husband who has NEVER EVER been cruel and gave me my two wonderful children. I cry now because I really know that but for the grace of God I could have been a victim.

 

[Deafmedic]

I'm glad you escaped. I hate those working abuse cases.

 

[totalia]

Mm, this may sound cold but... what goes around comes around and all that. He gave out bad things so eventually it caught up to him.

 

[Aimeedyan]

wow. I'm so glad you had the guts to get out. So many women don't.

 

[mommytotwo]

What he did to his mother is not right. I'm happy to hear that you had gotten out of that situation when you did.

 

[Nutsy]

My gosh, as sad as it is to hear of something like this happening to somebody (from the outside), but you knew him personally & were a victim of his ways.

Count your blessings that he is no longer out there able to harm anyone especially you

 

[poohandwendy]

That's sad, sounds like he was a very troubled person.

 

[Dan Murphy]

What a sad story, bpm. Glad your life came around out of it all.

 

[Mermaid02]

Not to sound cold, but if all you have said is true- What goes around comes around. It sounds like the world is better off without him in it.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

You are a true survivor and an inspiration to the many women on this board who are currently with abusive partners. Your experience will echo in the minds of many people who see themselves in your story. Thanks to your bravery in sharing, you may well be responsible for somebody making the decision to get away. I know from personal experience that people really listen when others share stories such as this one.

Now that he's gone, don't be surprised if you find yourself re-experiencing the trauma of 17 years ago. It's not uncommon at all for these things to come back on a person, especially when its truly save to relive it. Now that you are 100% safe, your brain may process this in a way that it couldn't previously do. Don't be afraid to seek help and support if you find you need it!!!

I, too, once had an abusive partner and I managed to get away several years ago. I still feel afraid at times, but like you, I'm blessed to have a partner who loves me non-violently and has supported me through the healing years. It's wonderful that you have a loving family...I'm so happy for you! Your life is proof of just how much lives can be changed, even when things appear scarey and hopeless.

The best of luck to you and your family...and thanks for sharing this with the DISers!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

All I can say is I am glad you got out.

 

[UncleKyle]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
All I can say is I am glad you got out.

me too

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I echo the sentiments of what comes around goes around. He lived a terrible lifestyle and he paid for it. Glad you had the courage to save yourself.

 

[acepepper]

Are you a suspect, do you know?

 

[kimwim8]

I have never been a victim of abuse, but as I read this, I thought, "would I be strong enough to get out?". I'd like to think I am, and now that I have kids, I would do ANYTHING to take care of them. But WOW, you are a strong, incredible woman, and this is all I know about you.

I'd love to know the details, and I'll be praying for you as you go through this. Hopefully you won't have to testify, but you are such a good soul for wanting to help & testify if need be.

 

[Poohbear123]

Yep, what goes around comes around.......

 

[bjgrazi]

What goes around comes around.

I'm happy to know you were strong enough and smart enough to leave a long time ago, and not look back.

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Thank heavens that you got away from this guy! I've been stalked by women before which is equally as creepy as being stalked by a man. So glad that you got out.

 

[cats7494]

I am very glad you had the courage to leave!

 

[Chicago526]

I'm glad you got out, too!

But maybe keep an "ear" out. If it turns out that a girlfriend or wife DID do it, maybe you can help them.

With any luck, it was just someone that he crossed taking "payment" for something.