Formal Apology to All

[MushyMushy]

To the OP, all parents have been there, whether they would like to admit it or not. A two year old having a melt down would not have disturbed us at all. I'm glad you had fun the rest of your trip.

Nope, not all parents. My kids weren't prone to tantrums at all, and certainly not in public. My son, who has behavioral disorders, had rages at home (much, much more intense than tantrums) but never in public. My DD is just good natured.

At any rate, that's not to say they weren't ever disruptive in public. If they got a little loud or fussy, I whisked them out of the situation as soon as possible. I can't tell you how many meals where DH and I had to take turns with a kid away from the table, or where one of us had to wait in the car with the kid while the other finished shopping. Because of the way I responded to my own kids' disruptive behavior, I can't even begin to fathom the mindset of parents who don't remove kids who are having full blown tantrums! (with the exception of being stuck somewhere, such as the safari ride)

I also don't like the argument that you're just reinforcing the bad behavior by removing them from the situation. First of all, don't make the removal pleasant!!! Secondly, it is not everybody else's problem, so why should they have to put up with that?

To the OP, I'm glad you were able to salvage your trip.

 

[jjarman]

If you do that then you get the howls of "ooowwweee! Momma why are you hitting me! You're hurting me!! WHAAAAAA!"

We have all seen parents in airports, malls, doctors offices, etc. who try to reason with a child not to do something like this, kicking the back of a seat constantly (I believe she said 2 hours maybe) and it doesn't always work. They don't understand reasoning at that age. You can reason with them the whole 2 hour flight but it is still incredibly rude to let a child kick the back of the seat the whole flight. If saying, Suzy don't do that for 2 hours doesn't work maybe a pop on the leg will. I am not trying to give parenting lessons here. I believe you said you didn't have children so you will have to decide that when that time comes. I just get a little impatient with parents who will let a child continue with a behavior that could be stopped. I never beat my child but he did occasionally get a swatwhen he needed it and he has not turned into a serial killer.

 

[MushyMushy]

We have all seen parents in airports, malls, doctors offices, etc. who try to reason with a child not to do something like this, kicking the back of a seat constantly (I believe she said 2 hours maybe) and it doesn't always work. They don't understand reasoning at that age. You can reason with them the whole 2 hour flight but it is still incredibly rude to let a child kick the back of the seat the whole flight. If saying, Suzy don't do that for 2 hours doesn't work maybe a pop on the leg will. I am not trying to give parenting lessons here. I believe you said you didn't have children so you will have to decide that when that time comes. I just get a little impatient with parents who will let a child continue with a behavior that could be stopped. I never beat my child but he did occasionally get a swatwhen he needed it and he has not turned into a serial killer.

I was never one to "pop" my kids, but what always worked for me -- with the rages, especially -- was to physically restrain him. Boy did it rile him up, but that was only temporary before he settled down.

I hope the person who got kicked for 2 hours got some kind of compensation for their grief. Free drinks, free credits, or whatnot. Geez.

 

[kvogel11202]

I can not imagine that anyone would expect to go to Disney World and not see a child somewhere have a meltdown. I seriously doubt that the OP's child had a meltdown for the entire meal. I agree that most parents would understand.

To the OP...just be glad your child did not have such a meltdown that she puked...I guess you would be banned from Disney for life.

From someone who juyst didn't think the puking kid was the end of the world or the start of the black plague!!

 

[all4disney98]

When we see tantrums (that aren't our own children's) my husband and I look at each other and smile because it is reassuring to see others going through the same thing as us.

Every family has their days and moments with the meltdowns. Hey, I have my moments too and I am old enough to know better!!

 

[CheshireVal]

While I'm always sympathetic to parents whose kids have meltdowns on rides when they're really stuck there with no way out, I'm not quite so understanding when the kid is screaming in the middle of a restaurant (counter service or not). I don't see any reason why the child can't be taken outside (or back to the room) until he or she has calmed down. It's SO not fair to everyone else in the restaurant who is trying to enjoy a screaming-free meal.

Yeah, I know that parents want to eat lunch, too, but when you make the decision to be a parent, you've got to take all the annoying responsibilities that come with that decision. I just turned 32 and have not tried to have children yet because I *knew* I wasn't ready to make those kinds of personal sacrifices. But now.... I feel I'm ready. DH and I are going to make one last trip this December without kids and then we're going to try to start a family of our own. I will enjoy this last trip (as long as I'm not subjected to too many screaming 2 year olds when I'm trying to eat), and then after that I"m prepared for many ruined meals and vacations when I'm forced to take my screaming child OUTSIDE so as not to ruin everyone else's experience.

To me, being a responsible parent means acting responsibly towards your children AND everyone else who may be impacted by my children's behavior.

 

[annameg]

You would not have bothered me if I had been at CH that day. Isn't it weird how you don't notice a tantrum if it is not your kid throwing the tantrum? You're just happy it's not your turn.

 

[mking624]

Yeah, I know that parents want to eat lunch, too, but when you make the decision to be a parent, you've got to take all the annoying responsibilities that come with that decision.

Wait a second, are you saying that parents now have to sacrifice feeding themselves because they chose to become a parent? I'm not a parent yet and even I know better than that. I wouldn't call sacrificing personal nutrition as an annoying responsibility...but actually irresponsibility regardless of a screaming child. And the fact that you refer to the decisions parents make as an "annoying" responsibility...all I can say is, wow.

 

[ReneeA]

While I understand what your saying, this statement could apply to many, many situations. Are parents supposed to barracade themselves in their homes until their children are 5? Children learn how to handle social situations by BEING IN THEM. The main idea in parenting is teaching your child how to function in society. Those lessons are learned from experience. A five year old that wasn't ever exposed to these kind of situations before may have the exact same reaction as the two year old.

A five year old that had NEVER been in a social situation, such as a restaurant, theme park, concert, or movie theater would have no idea how to act in one and would more than likely be WAY overstimulated as well. We have believed in exposing our children to all kinds of social venues at a very, very early age so that they understand from as early as possible how to act in them. It is a GREAT learning experience for them.

You cannot expect parents to live in a cave until there is no threat of meltdowns and tantrums anymore. It's just not realistic. How are you as a parent supposed to do even the most basic of chores if they aren't allowed to do them with their children? (Because I know for a fact there are those that get all up in arms over a child screaming at the grocery store as well).

 

[MushyMushy]

Wait a second, are you saying that parents now have to sacrifice feeding themselves because they chose to become a parent? I'm not a parent yet and even I know better than that. I wouldn't call sacrificing personal nutrition as an annoying responsibility...but actually irresponsibility regardless of a screaming child. And the fact that you refer to the decisions parents make as an "annoying" responsibility...all I can say is, wow.

Why on earth does being responsible need to be so drastic? How hard is it to figure out a scenario where mom takes screaming kid outside while dad eats for a little while, then they switch off so mom gets to sit down and eat. If the kid is really into a tantrum, it's not like he'll be doing that much eating.

My DH and I played relay with the kids quite a few times when they were disruptive. We're still here to tell the tale, and we sure didn't starve to death.

 

[Kramer]

I have heard this mentioned before, and I really don't know why it is so important for a child to remember a trip. It is just fun to be there as a family and enjoy each other at that time.

Amen!

That is such a lame reason for people to throw out. Why is remembering the trip the gold standard of whether someone should take their child to Disney?

My son is 2 1/2 and we have taken him to Disney 5 times already. We have priceless videos and photos to share with our family that would never exist if we waited to take him when he could remember every detail.

If thats the standard then why take your kids anywhere until they are four or five years old?

Just lock them in the basement since they won't remember it anyway.

 

[DebIreland]

A five year old that had NEVER been in a social situation, such as a restaurant, theme park, concert, or movie theater would have no idea how to act in one and would more than likely be WAY overstimulated as well. We have believed in exposing our children to all kinds of social venues at a very, very early age so that they understand from as early as possible how to act in them. It is a GREAT learning experience for them.

You cannot expect parents to live in a cave until there is no threat of meltdowns and tantrums anymore. It's just not realistic. How are you as a parent supposed to do even the most basic of chores if they aren't allowed to do them with their children? (Because I know for a fact there are those that get all up in arms over a child screaming at the grocery store as well).

Excellent post!

 

[MartDM]

The only people who could be upset at you are adults who don't have kids.

That statement is utterly inaccurate (as evidenced by parents who disagreed with OPs choices and explained how they handled similar situations with their own kids).

As to the attitudes and demeanor of those posting on this thread, the vast majority have stated matter of fact and logical opinions on the matter (pro and con). Quite honestly, the only argumentative, hostile, and sarcastic responses that stuck with me were those of the OP herself (such as starting a post to admonish someone about the rules of demeanor on the board by referring to them as "Mr. Obvious").

Seems like whenever there is a difference of opinion, there is a rally of cries that people are being attacked. There is nothing wrong with free debate and sharing of opinions - it's what makes this country great! We are all entitled to our thoughts on this matter - if people can't handle that then they probably shouldn't be participating on a diverse public message board (or at least should start their post with "please don't respond unless you are 100% in agreement with all that I say and will support it fully).

 

[CheshireVal]

Why on earth does being responsible need to be so drastic? How hard is it to figure out a scenario where mom takes screaming kid outside while dad eats for a little while, then they switch off so mom gets to sit down and eat. If the kid is really into a tantrum, it's not like he'll be doing that much eating.

My DH and I played relay with the kids quite a few times when they were disruptive. We're still here to tell the tale, and we sure didn't starve to death.

This is more what I had in mind when I posted.

I am not advocating that parents starve themselves to death, I promise. My point was that, when you have kids, you can't really expect to have a leisurely uninterrupted meal when you're out in public because you might have to deal with a temper tantrum. Which means taking the kid out. Annoying, yes. Responsible, yes.

 

[ntsammy5]

I'm sorry to hear about that. But I think many of us here can relate with similar experiences. I know I can!

No apologies necessary. been ther, done that.

 

[mtblujeans]

We were at WDW last week from 7/9-7/15, and the first few days our 2-year old suffered a straight 48-hour meltdown. I would like to formally apologize to those of you whom were stuck on Kilimanjaro Safari 7/10 around 10:00-11:00 hour when the Giraffes were blocking the path and our daughter's screams reach an all time high pitch. I would also like to apologize to those of you who were trying to enjoy a peaceful lunch at Columbia Harbor House at the MK 7/11 around 1:00ish. The little blonde girl screaming in the red stroller was not the spawn of the devil, but just overwhelmed with her first trip to the World. Believe it or not, she was perfectly fine the rest of week, (with an exception of a "scary" run with the Mad Hatter at 1900 Park Faire) and wishes she was back there. DH and I feel sorry for anyone whom crossed our path those days and hope they enjoyed their vacation none-the-less. We did, and miss the World already!
Alicia

I took my 5YO grandson to WDW for the first time last month. After the first day, I took my DIS pin off so no one would know who I was. I couldn't believe what I was seeing out of him; I had never seen that child before and I hope to never seen him again!! After we got home, all went back to normal and he didn't seem to remember any of the awful things he did or said! *sigh*

 

[Sammie]

Perfect age to visit WDW for children: when they are old enough to handle all it has to offer. The heat, the crowds, the visual stimulation, the plane ride, the car ride, the eating out, sleeping in a different bed etc.

Some children can handle that at 2, some need to be older. Not all children have melt downs, ever. And please do not patronize me and say, oh aren't they perfect. As a child my brothers and sisters and I were not perfect, but we were perfectly behaved in public. Same with their children.

 

[properlywarnedyebe]

That statement is utterly inaccurate (as evidenced by parents who disagreed with OPs choices and explained how they handled similar situations with their own kids).

As to the attitudes and demeanor of those posting on this thread, the vast majority have stated matter of fact and logical opinions on the matter (pro and con). Quite honestly, the only argumentative, hostile, and sarcastic responses that stuck with me were those of the OP herself (such as starting a post to admonish someone about the rules of demeanor on the board by referring to them as "Mr. Obvious").

Seems like whenever there is a difference of opinion, there is a rally of cries that people are being attacked. There is nothing wrong with free debate and sharing of opinions - it's what makes this country great! We are all entitled to our thoughts on this matter - if people can't handle that then they probably shouldn't be participating on a diverse public message board (or at least should start their post with "please don't respond unless you are 100% in agreement with all that I say and will support it fully).

Hey Mr. Too-Much Time-On-His-Hands, Yet-don't-have-enough-time-to-read-all-the-posts,

Let it go! Get over it! I never asked for opinions good or bad. When someone flat out calls you selfish, and they don't know you, that isn't an opinion, it is an attack. There is no pro/ con there. Why you guys still feel the need to post on this thread is beyond me. Stop arguing and repeating things over and over. How many times can you tell a person they are rude and selfish and sarcastic! What good will it do? The event is over! Done! Finished! Kaput! Puh-Lease! Let it die a peaceful death! Let this be the worst thing I ever do in my life. Move on! And pick on someone else's minor public embarrassment. This skeleton as been picked dry, Move on Sharks!
Final Apology- I am sorry I ever started this thread!

 

[mking624]

Why on earth does being responsible need to be so drastic? How hard is it to figure out a scenario where mom takes screaming kid outside while dad eats for a little while, then they switch off so mom gets to sit down and eat. If the kid is really into a tantrum, it's not like he'll be doing that much eating.

My DH and I played relay with the kids quite a few times when they were disruptive. We're still here to tell the tale, and we sure didn't starve to death.

*I* wasn't the one implying anything needed to be drastic. Another poster said this: "Yeah, I know that parents want to eat lunch, too, but when you make the decision to be a parent, you've got to take all the annoying responsibilities that come with that decision"...implying that the parents just forego eating altogether in order to take out a crying child because apparently that's the annoying responsibility of choosing to be a parent. Doing a relay is one thing...implying a "tough luck" situation with eating period is something entirely different. Telling people "I know you want to eat, but..." is the drastic part. Giving a realistic solution like they "relay" you did is way more helpful. CheshireVal, now that I see that was what you're trying to say, I understand what you're saying. It might have been a little helpful if you were more clear on that to begin with...because it implied that you were telling the parents "tough luck" just so no one else would be put out.

OP, I understand your frustration...but I think you need to chill with the name calling here. Even people who support you are beginning to be a little turned off by that.

 

[inloveindisney]

It's kinda funny. We were at Disney with a 15 year old just recently that acted like the original poster was describing! Sorry Sis if you are reading!!!
I guess they revert back to age 2 once the hormones kick in!!


Edit: Hmm, I think I should have read a little more. Looks like I put my two cents in at the wrong time.