Formal Apology to All

[wdwcoltsfan]

I haven't read throught the thread, but don't little kids get the most out of Disney Vacations?

I'm 35 and I get as much enjoyment out of disney as my kids!

I took the poster to mean that instead of going at age 2, for example, when a child might be prone to tantrums, why not wait until 4. Those two years might mean a lot in terms of enjoyment for the entire family. Now, this may be a totally incorrect assumption on my part, that's just how I read the post.


Rachel

 

[queenof hearts]

Kids are people who have not yet learned to control their emotions. When I see a crying kid in a resturant I take pity on the parents. I usually try to distract the child. If I get upset or mad about the noise I ruin my meal. We were all kids once.

 

[Deebo]

I'm in the minority, but here goes.

OP-- I'm sorry that your little one didn't have a magical time at Disney. I can sympathize with how miserable the meltdowns made all of you.

However, I think this thread was really an attempt for you to try to cleanse your conscience for behavior that you know was selfish (restaurant incident). If you REALLY are sincere in feeling sorry about what happened, you would have taken your child outside while DH collected the food, or AT A MINIMUM, apologized to the patrons at HH, rather than rationalizing your behavior and then making an apology to an anonymous discussion board.

I just get tired of the direction our society seems to be going. Everyone seems to have such a sense of entitlement-- as if the world was put here for their exclusive enjoyment, and to heck with everyone else. People act selfish or inconsiderate of others, and instead of correcting the situation when they can, they throw out an apology later and that 'magically' makes everything Okey-Dokey. Apologies are a wonderful thing, but they should be reserved for heartfelt, sincere regret when a situation COULD NOT be fixed. Apologies are not a blanket free pass so you can act as you want and then 'fix' it later.

Again, I'm sorry that your family had a rough go of it at Disney, but I do think that you were being selfish.

Just my 2 cents. Carry on.

 

[disneymomto5]

We'll be leaving this Saturday with my 2 1/2 year old in tow. I'm hoping for the best, but in all probability, we will have similar experiences. I always hope there are sympathetic people around but that's not always the case.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

'I took the poster to mean that instead of going at age 2, for example, when a child might be prone to tantrums, why not wait until 4. Those two years might mean a lot in terms of enjoyment for the entire family. Now, this may be a totally incorrect assumption on my part, that's just how I read the post.'


In theory I agree with this, but we will still be taking our three year old as his sister, age six, is rapidly outgrowing the princess thing....if we waited much longer, it's be all EE and pace mountain for us

Gotta have one fairy tale trip!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I never said that the blind or people in wheel chairs can't go...and I NEVER said Your child should not be in Disney. My point was that sometimes as parents, myself included, we want to go so badly that we don't consider that maybe waiting a few years would provide our kids some extra enjoyment and memories. And a more relaxing trip for the parents. Since my dh will be having chemo during our trip, and in a wheel chair...if we even get to go at all...I assure you, I am very flexible and if your screaming kid was sitting next to us, I would reach out to lean a helping hand when ever I could.

Some of us are lucky enough to go to WDW once or twice every year, and have kids who are reasonably well-behaved and enjoy all the sights and sounds for the most part. I can totally understand the "wait until they're older" point of view if you are only visiting every few years or even "once in a lifetime", but the advice to wait doesn't really ring true for families like ours. Our ds totally the magic and isn't the meltdown type (even without nap). We are also lucky enough to have family in Orlando with APs so they serve as our extra hands. Between the four-six of us adults who usually go, we can easily break up into smaller groups and take turns with the baby IF he freaks out. However, we've only done it to ride the thrillers, so far.
Each family has to do what works for them, but I also think it's unfair to judge a family's decision to go to WDW on the fact that you see a 9 month old crying at ONE moment in time. Trust me, that 9 month old would probably melt down once a day at home, too...

 

[AllyCatTapia]

Deebo has a case of "i'm better than you", which generally, I've found, means she is in reality the opposite.

"However, I think this thread was really an attempt for you to try to cleanse your conscience for behavior that you know was selfish (restaurant incident). If you REALLY are sincere in feeling sorry about what happened, you would have taken your child outside while DH collected the food, or AT A MINIMUM, apologized to the patrons at HH, rather than rationalizing your behavior and then making an apology to an anonymous discussion board."


And taken the food where? What- a child has a temper & the whole family goes hungry? Please. In Disney World too? Suuuuure MAYBE in a NICER restarant, but good god it's DISNEY WORLD. If you don't see meltdowns, then somethings weird.

 

[properlywarnedyebe]

I'm in the minority, but here goes.

OP-- I'm sorry that your little one didn't have a magical time at Disney. I can sympathize with how miserable the meltdowns made all of you.

However, I think this thread was really an attempt for you to try to cleanse your conscience for behavior that you know was selfish (restaurant incident). If you REALLY are sincere in feeling sorry about what happened, you would have taken your child outside while DH collected the food, or AT A MINIMUM, apologized to the patrons at HH, rather than rationalizing your behavior and then making an apology to an anonymous discussion board.

I just get tired of the direction our society seems to be going. Everyone seems to have such a sense of entitlement-- as if the world was put here for their exclusive enjoyment, and to heck with everyone else. People act selfish or inconsiderate of others, and instead of correcting the situation when they can, they throw out an apology later and that 'magically' makes everything Okey-Dokey. Apologies are a wonderful thing, but they should be reserved for heartfelt, sincere regret when a situation COULD NOT be fixed. Apologies are not a blanket free pass so you can act as you want and then 'fix' it later.

Again, I'm sorry that your family had a rough go of it at Disney, but I do think that you were being selfish.

Just my 2 cents. Carry on.

Hey Mr. Obvious,
I am apologizing because I didn't take her out, but tried to give her lunch, and when it didn't work we quickly left. We didn't even eat all of our lunch. I wasn't going to stop everyone in the restaurant to apologize when she was already screaming. Thanks for giving me your opinion when it wasn't asked for. Unless you were in any of those two places I mentioned in the first post, this really doesn't pertain to you does it? Everyone can keep calling me selfish until they are blue in the face. It really doesn't change anything. I made a mistake, a very small mistake, that ended rather quickly and really shouldn't need six pages of debates and unheeded advice.

As far as you being tired of society, my advice to you..take a nap! Apparently it does wonders for everyone.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

"We were desperate to find something our DD, DH, and myself would eat in the AC instead of sitting in the heat eating pretzels, and cheese plates for the hundreth time. "



There ya go, Deebo, you dunce, how about reading the whole farking post next time ? Now who's the selfish one? YOU. Insisting a CHILD who is in DISNEY world must be completely removed from an air conditioned restaurant and NOT have a bite to eat? GGGEEEZZUUUSS!

Meltdown in enclosed area= trip to the potty to calm down. That's it. THat's all. No need to pack up the food youpaid for because there may be some jerk sitting near you that doesn't HAVE kids, or pretends their kids are ANGELS.

 

[GinaGrumpyDwarf]

As you can see from my sig, i have little ones. 2 years ago my oldest DD was fine. No fear, went on everything. Last year, she was scared of everything! We actually had to tell her we were leaving her in the stroller while we went on rides..that worked actually. She would leave the ride so happy and loving every minute. This year it's getting worse. She's so scared of everything!! Oh well, I guess we'll just have to ride with the baby..
Meltdowns are part of growing up, and for those who vacation without children at Disney, we should remember that it is DISNEY-a place for kids. Maybe those who have a problem with children at Disney need to listen to WALTS dedication at Disneyland and remember why it all started...

 

[Fainfamily5]

I agree, but it's easier said than done. DH and I were stuck, just having ordered our food. DD was getting to the point that anytime we walked into any restaurant, or any line for that matter she started screaming. We would leave ASAP. She would quiet down when she got her way. It wasn't fair to us. We sat down and finally ate after two days of her manipulating us. We swallowed our food in five minutes, but those five minutes were terrible. I will never see any of those people again, they are probably no worse for the wear, but I still felt bad. For all of us.

I also have one of those little manipulators and you did do the right thing. I am sorry it may have disturbed other people but sometimes you have to put your foot down. My youngest doesn't pitch fits but he does whine until you feel like your ears are bleeding. I have to put my foot down if it bothers other then I am truly sorry but hopefully it will teach him that mommy is not going to put up with it no matter where we are. But as most posters said any one with kids can sympathize with your situation.

 

[Rachljo22]

Can you say overstimulation????

Yep, when we got home from WDW everyone asked how the baby did (he was 6 months then). I said he was and angel, Matthew on the other hand (2 at the time) was a nightmare! He acted up in every ride line, every resturant and even in the pool. I feel really bad for anyone who had to experience him <shudders>

 

[properlywarnedyebe]

By the way, CHH has the best chicken fingers and fried fish. I highly recommend! We were lucky that they pack those chocolate cakes to go. We ate them the next day when DD was napping.

 

[Rachljo22]

it is YOUR responsibility to make sure your kids don't inconvenience others. I pay just as much as you for eating, so why should I eat in misery because of your selfishness.

I must be in the minority here but a kid having a meltdown in public does not bother me in the least. When I am eating in public and a child startes screaming my one and only thought is "glad that's not my child"
I refuse to keep my children out of a resturant because they may or may not have a melt down, what does that teach them? They will never learn to be properly behaved if they are never exposed. JMO

 

[mking624]

I'm in the minority, but here goes.

OP-- I'm sorry that your little one didn't have a magical time at Disney. I can sympathize with how miserable the meltdowns made all of you.

However, I think this thread was really an attempt for you to try to cleanse your conscience for behavior that you know was selfish (restaurant incident). If you REALLY are sincere in feeling sorry about what happened, you would have taken your child outside while DH collected the food, or AT A MINIMUM, apologized to the patrons at HH, rather than rationalizing your behavior and then making an apology to an anonymous discussion board.

I just get tired of the direction our society seems to be going. Everyone seems to have such a sense of entitlement-- as if the world was put here for their exclusive enjoyment, and to heck with everyone else. People act selfish or inconsiderate of others, and instead of correcting the situation when they can, they throw out an apology later and that 'magically' makes everything Okey-Dokey. Apologies are a wonderful thing, but they should be reserved for heartfelt, sincere regret when a situation COULD NOT be fixed. Apologies are not a blanket free pass so you can act as you want and then 'fix' it later.

Again, I'm sorry that your family had a rough go of it at Disney, but I do think that you were being selfish.

Just my 2 cents. Carry on.

(bold my own)
No offense or anything, but wouldn't that sense of entitlement include you? After all, you're the one telling this lovely woman what she should have done so that everyone else (apparently you included...even if you weren't there) could feel comfortable and happy...and to heck with her and her family, right? Because it certainly isn't about their enjoyment or struggles, it's about yours. I mean that's definitely what's happening with the "in between the lines" of your post. You think she's being selfish, but you're telling her what she should do...you want her to follow YOUR advice so that YOU are happy should this ever happen when you're in a restaurant (exactly who was being selfish again...?). You're following the same path that you say our society is walking.

OP, I wouldn't stress it. There's not even a need for an apology. Life happens and that's ok...I think it would be absurd for people to think that kids in such an overwhelming environment should behave like mature adults (and that parents, apparently, aren't ever allowed to struggle). The ones who look down on you (or anyone else in the situation) are probably those who've never had experience with a child. You're not selfish at all...you're a mom. And that has to be the least selfish role I've ever known.

 

[mamaprincess]

To the OP and anyone else who has had embarassing moments of hysteria, tantrums, breakdowns etc.

Check out the Magical Meltdown thread. It will let you know that you are not alone.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I must be in the minority here but a kid having a meltdown in public does not bother me in the least. When I am eating in public and a child startes screaming my one and only thought is "glad that's not my child"

I agree, with the exception that the child is at the table right next to me screaming so I loud I cannot have a conversation with my husband and my head starts pounding.

 

[Chuck65]

One way you can look at it , and I have done this before, is the next time you see a meltdown and one of your kids is with you, just say to them:

You: "See that Mom/Dad whose child is pitching a fit?"
Child: "Yes"
You: "One day, that is going to be you"
Child:
You: "Payback is tough isn't it?"

 

[Rachljo22]

One way you can look at it , and I have done this before, is the next time you see a meltdown and one of your kids is with you, just say to them:

You: "See that Mom/Dad whose child is pitching a fit?"
Child: "Yes"
You: "One day, that is going to be you"
Child:
You: "Payback is tough isn't it?"

Unless you have a child like mine who always has a comeback! I have done this and her responce is "No it wont, I'm not having kids"

 

[Allensfan]

This is just what I was trying to say. Instead of taking a 9 month old or a 2 year old...maybe a 5 year old would remember more and be more comfortable in such strange, although wonderful, surroundings.