For those whose kids moved away as adults, how far did they move?

[kdonnel]

Tomorrow is both a happy and sad day.

I am taking a 14 hour road trip with my son to help him move nearly 900 miles to his new home.

He graduated from college back in May, went on a 40 day European adventure, came back and started looking for a job, and has now found a professional job 900 miles away.

My wife and I are both excited for him and a little bit sad.

The house will once again be quiet.

Sadly due to prior family obligations and him just starting, we will not be together for Thanksgiving but are planning a trip to see him around Christmas.

If one or more of your kids moved away, did they move far? Do you see them often?

 

[lynxstch]

My oldest son moved from MA to CA after he graduated college. That was years ago, and he's still living out there. I get the sad and happy feeling, I was the same way. Good luck to your son @kdonnel

 

[Christine]

My son moved to California from the east coast. He did live near home for 2 years post college but then COVID gave everyone the chance to work remote and he up and moved to California. I don't think he's ever coming back because he loves it so much.

I'm very happy for him though and it's opened my travel options to his area where I've now been about 7 times. I love it there too!

 

[macraven]

Well we have 4 sons and none of them are nearby.
Closest one is about 7 hours away.

 

[disneychrista]

My younger daughter moved about 3 hours away. I was expecting an hour away, since she had been working an hour away for several years. The 3 hours was a shock.

My younger daughter moved 15 minutes away.

 

[crazymomof4]

Single son bought the house next door to us. Married son and DIL bought a house 5 min drive away. Happy mama. We see them often and don't feel we have to always initiate, as they often do. Like married son will text, "Hey. we're going to the drive-in for soft ice cream. Wanna meet us there?" Two are still at home.

 

[Simba's Mom]

One son lives "only" about 500 miles away, in Dallas. The other son lives in NYC, 1700 miles away. We often go years at a time without seeing him. But we knew what we were in for when he majored in music in college. He's a freelance musician, and holidays and weekends are busiest.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Very close. Natalie is next suburb over, 10 minutes, Vince is a few suburbs out, about 50 minutes.

Good wishes with those mixed feelings for your wife and you, @kdonnel. Best wishes for your son and his new life adventure.

 

[Silvermist999]

Awww I know how you feel, yet none of my kids has moved out permanently yet. But they keep talking about it when they are both home from university. My youngest is home this week for his fall break and he’s telling us where he’s applying for his next internship, he’s hoping to go overseas. And he’s also talking about his career plans when he graduates. He doesn’t seem to want to stick around. It’s funny, my siblings and I did not move out until we got married, maybe because we wanted to stay home as long as possible to be with our widower father. Even after we married, we still lived close by when he was still alive. He refused to move in with us in the later years, even though I asked him to.

 

[china mom]

50 feet. DS moved from his old room to the apartment that is attached to our house.

 

[VGCgroupie]

Mine moved about 30 minutes away. Then she moved about 2 minutes away. I then moved to another state and she ended up following me and now lives with us, she lives in our basement that is basically a separate house.

 

[TippyThomas]

I don't have kids, but I stayed with my parents until they passed. When I moved, I moved less than 15 or so miles away. I've stayed in this general area for most of my life, and will more than likely spend the rest of my life here as well.

 

[firefly_ris]

My kids aren't adults yet, but I am the kid who moved away; it's about a 6 hour drive to my parents. I moved in 2006 and it's still a point of contention and passive-aggressive guilt-riding to this day. It got worse when I had kids. It did teach me how to not treat my kids if they want to spread their wings and try somewhere new when the time comes.

 

[Christine]

My kids aren't adults yet, but I am the kid who moved away; it's about a 6 hour drive to my parents. I moved in 2006 and it's still a point of contention and passive-aggressive guilt-riding to this day. It got worse when I had kids. It did teach me how to not treat my kids if they want to spread their wings and try somewhere new when the time comes.

I've often wondered why that is with some parents.

I miss my son, but I am SO very happy for him and that he was able to explore and be independent. This is what I raised him to do. Well, not necessarily move away, but to have the skills/tools/confidence to manage himself without the tether, if he so chooses. I couldn't be more happy to see him go out on his own and be live a life that I wish I could!

 

[NannyBeBe]

My unmarried daughter lived with me until she was 41, then decided to move 2,000 miles away to a small town that is not easy to get to. We miss her so much, especially her sister.

 

[ddluvsdisney]

My oldest DS moved about 45 min away to be closer to his job. His commute from home was over an hour. I get the happy and sad feeling. He was living alone for a while but now his friend from HS is his roommate. I am very happy for him bc rent is INSANE!!!
My youngest DS still lives with us. He wishes he could move out but can’t afford it right now.
He will probably move far when he does. He wants to live in Texas.

 

[kdonnel]

My youngest is home this week for his fall break and he’s telling us where he’s applying for his next internship, he’s hoping to go overseas.

My son mentioned applying for a job in Finland. This move is complicated enough, that one would be really hard.

 

[kdonnel]

I'm very happy for him though and it's opened my travel options to his area where I've now been about 7 times. I love it there too!

I am excited for the travel options for my wife and I. He is moving to a part of the country we have never been. Heck even the road trip I will be taking with him tomorrow will be a travel adventure. I have never been more than 8 hours by car since I was a child.

 

[NotUrsula]

Are you familiar with the term "American wake"? I was raised in an Irish immigrant family, and it was essentially understood in our home that once you reached adulthood you would probably go away to work, and that you'd seldom see your parents once that happened. (My parents never visited home again after emigrating to the US, though their parents lived several decades afterward; it was just too expensive and they didn't have the time off-work to go.) My parents sent us alone to visit relatives from an early age, so that we would be comfortable with the idea of leaving home. My mother's family even went so far as to pool money to purchase a "way station house" in England, which almost all the cousins lived in for a period of time when they first left home. They bought it in the 1870s and cousins are still regularly cycling through it; it's understood that you move out when you can afford to do so, to make room for the next cousin coming of age.

Initially, I moved a 2 hour drive from home for college, and worked there for a little while afterward, but when I was 27 I left for good and moved 900 miles away. When my mother was still alive I tried to visit once a year, but since then it's more like once every 3 years. My eldest child lives about 1000 miles from us, he has not been home since before the pandemic, though we usually manage to visit him at least once a year. The younger one just started college; she's 400 miles away.

The key is to keep communicating, and to accept that they have their own lives, but that distance is not a barrier to familial love. I have family literally all over the world, including dozens whom I've never met, but we correspond, and if I were to happen to go wherever they are, they would drop everything to welcome me.

 

[Sanchez]

We live in South Carolina. Our older son has lived in Manhattan (NYC) since college graduation (750+ miles.)

Our younger son is in Tokyo and has no plans to leave (7,000+ miles). He finished grad school in Italy and then decided to live in Japan.

On the positive side, I am glad that they are confident enough to live where they wish and were provided the opportunity to make these types decisions. Of course, the alternative is that they don't want to be anywhere near us. It is easy to get to and from NYC so we see our older son regularly. Japan is a little more difficult but have been there two times and plan to go again in April.