For those who have lost someone close to them....

[luvwinnie]

I still have to remind myself that my mom is gone...it will be 2 yrs in July. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the ENORMITY of her absence...if that makes sense. She was a HUGE part of my life and I can't believe at times that the world can go on without her...but my family and I get through it together, as she would have wanted.

 

[MickeysMommy]

I only just lost my Dad...6 weeks ago so I'm still hurting. Although the other family members I have lost through the years somtimes the remembering almost kills me.

My dad though...I can't explain the pain I feel from that. I feel like I have this huge hole in my chest and I will not get over this. I know it will be with me forever. People say that it gets easier. We'll see. Right now, no. In time, maybe. But, now, no.

 

[MidgeD79]

Tomorrow will be my son Michael's 21 birthday. He died in August of 2003. I can usually have memories of him and smile, but there are times that a smell or a song or something pops into my head and the grief is overwhelming. Today it was listening to the soundtrack of Lion King. Hang in there

 

[ChrisnSteph]

It's been 5 years since I lost Aaron, and 1 year since I lost Ryan. I have those moments all the time. Will they ever go away - I don't know. I just know that mixed in with all that sadness, are the happy memories, and I'm now at the point where I can smile and cry when I think of them. As a mother, my heart will never stop aching for my boys, and I wouldn't want it to.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Like you, I recently lost my grandmother.

We expected it for some time, but it still hurts so much.

The other day something happened at work and I thought about calling her then realized I can't.

I don't even think I have begun to miss her.

Easter will be hard without her.

Mother's Day will be especially hard.

We were always together on the Fourth.

Thanksgiving will be empty.

I don't even want to consider Christmas.

I miss her so much.

If you figure out a way, Fishy, to lessen the pain, won't you please let me know?

 

[puggymom]

I lost my father January 5th after a long illness, I still cry frequently for him and just reacently had a dream that it was all a mistake and he was still here. As time has passed it has gotten harder to deal with, not easier. Maybe I was numb as they say. Tomorrow would have been my parents 47th anniversary and we are having dinner with Mom, in many ways I am not looking forward to it.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I find that the moments of grief wash over me like a tsunami at times. We lost our son (22) 2 years ago then my mom died 17 days later. Prior to those deaths we had lost my only brother from cancer and my father from old age. There were times I wished I could lose my mind so I wouldn't have to think or more importantly feel anything. You will probably think I'm crazy because I am grateful that I loved them so much that I welcome everytime I have those feelings. For us, I don't think we'll ever have a time that we don't stop and think about them daily but it does become more bareable. I hope I made some sense out of my ramblings....

For all of us who has lost loved ones .

 

[ktpool]

First, I want to say how sorry I am for everyone who posted on this thread, especially those that have lost children. We are so lucky to have each other, aren't we???

My boyfriend was killed in a car accident when I was 21 - almost 17 years ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday, even though I am happily married with a family now. I still think about what might have been and how miserable I made him sometimes with our typically passionate young love and some decisions he didn't agree with.

I was walking though a department store just a few weeks ago and it got a stron whiff of his cologne. OMG, it stopped me in my tracks. I took one of the spray card sample things and carried it around for a few days.

 

[AmyJ of Ca]

First, I want to say how sorry I am for everyone who posted on this thread, especially those that have lost children. We are so lucky to have each other, aren't we???

My boyfriend was killed in a car accident when I was 21 - almost 17 years ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday, even though I am happily married with a family now. I still think about what might have been and how miserable I made him sometimes with our typically passionate young love and some decisions he didn't agree with.

I was walking though a department store just a few weeks ago and it got a stron whiff of his cologne. OMG, it stopped me in my tracks. I took one of the spray card sample things and carried it around for a few days.

I would consider that a hello from your old friend!! That is why I think they are still with us. IMHO, If we just look we can usually see the hellos from the other side.

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I would consider that a hello from your old friend!! That is why I think they are still with us. IMHO, If we just look we can usually see the hellos from the other side.

I have been looking for one from my grandmother, but haven't seen one yet.

About a week before she passed, though, all of a sudden there was a odor in the room I was in. It smelled like my grandfather's cigarettes. He used to roll his own Prince Albert.

 

[Andrea]

This is so funny that i can to this thread tonight. i wasnt even going to get on the computer tonight.

i have been thinking about my family for the pass 2 days non stop and tonight i have and still am crying so hard.

I lost both of my sisters when i was 17 (1997), my only grandmother when i was 18 (1998), my mom when i was 19 (1999), and my dad when i was 20 (2000) and my aunt when i was 20 (2000).

I miss them all so much!!! and i always wonder why I couldnt have a family for longer.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I am sorry for your loss.

I lost my father 4 years ago to a long battle with Alzheimers, and I still have those moments. Today would have been his 85th birthday. Friends (?) acted like my loss was insignificant, because he was old and had Alzheimers (like somehow losing your dad would mean less because of this??), but I watched him struggle with the disease for almost 20 years and I grieve for the pain he felt, as well as for my loss.

Happy birthday, Dad!

 

[Arielle22]

My dad died when I was 17 and his dad (my grandfather) died the day before my dad. Grandpa was old age and my dad had a heart condition. It was also 1 month to the day before my brother got married.

My mom died 9 years ago from cancer.

It was even tougher for my sister who was 9 when dad died and 22 when mom died. Sometimes I still forget my mom isn't alive. Something catches my eye and I think of buying it for her. I always thought it unfair that my mom couldn't see my daughters grow up (they were 1 and 3 when she died) since she was close to my nieces. Then I realize I am luckier than my older sister who just had my nephew (named after my dad).

Time really does help. After a while you remember the good memories and can share them without crying.

 

[bcvgal]

I only just lost my Dad...6 weeks ago so I'm still hurting. Although the other family members I have lost through the years somtimes the remembering almost kills me.

My dad though...I can't explain the pain I feel from that. I feel like I have this huge hole in my chest and I will not get over this. I know it will be with me forever. People say that it gets easier. We'll see. Right now, no. In time, maybe. But, now, no.

MickeysMommy I'm feeling so much the same way. I lost my dad on March 7th. He wasn't sick and it came as such a horrible surprise. The grief i feel sometimes is overwhelming-like the air is being sucked out of me. I've never felt pain like this before.

 

[Andrea]

Time really does help. After a while you remember the good memories and can share them without crying.

i started losing my family in 1997 and I still cant talk about any of them without crying still

 

[Mishetta]

Have you considered making grandma a part of your wedding? You can put a picture of grandma on the alter with you. My cousin and his wife did that for their wedding. It was a really nice touch.

We have done this several times. My Mom passed away & she was like a 2nd Mom to my kids since she lived with us & she cared for them while I worked. My kids miss her terribly. So for my DS's Communion party, we had a photo of my Mom by the cake & for his b-day party too. My DS likes to see her photo out for special occassions ~ he also feels that not only is she there but she is also remembered by many who see her photo. (He's pretty insightful for the ripe old age of 10!)

 

[GEM]

I still have to remind myself that my mom is gone...it will be 2 yrs in July. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the ENORMITY of her absence...if that makes sense. She was a HUGE part of my life and I can't believe at times that the world can go on without her.

That exactly describes the feeling I get sometimes when i think about my dad. He died of lung cancer 8 years ago. Most of the time I go along just fine, and then, all of a sudden out of nowhere, it's like a freight train hits me and I have to stop and get my bearings for a moment because none of it seems real.

I've only really cried for my daddy once. (Not that I don't miss him every day. It's just that I'm NOT one to cry. I didn't even cry at the funeral. I have a hard time letting go of my emotions like that, a trait I inherited from him, by the way.) But, my father had been dead 5 years when my son was born. That night, when I was lying there in my hospital bed and my 1lb 7oz baby was down the hall in the NICU fighting for every breath, and the nurses were updating us every 30 minutes to let us know if he was even still alive - I cried and cried for my daddy. There I was a 31 year old woman, and all I could think in that sick, miserable, terrified state was, "I want my daddy."

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I had empty chairs for my grandfather and my father at our wedding. I had special roses that I carried with my bouqet. I stopped at each empty chair and left a rose.

 

[Verandah Man]

I don't know what brought me over to the CB tonight, but I just came across this thread and had to respond. I've been sitting here at the computer for the past hour trying to write my step-dad's obit to give to the funeral director tomorrow afternoon. My step-dad passed away earlier this evening after suffering a heart attack late last week. Yesterday(4/2) would have been my grams 90th birthday, and I miss her terribly, she was my mentor and best friend!!!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Andy, I am so sorry for your loss. to everyone.