For those who have done extended family trips- who pays?

[Gillyrose779]

My family (DH and 2 young boys) are taking a 10 day trip down to Disney end of May.

The first time we went as a family we took my mom b/c we weren't sure how the kids would do since they were 2 and 4 at the time. We have since gone on a week long trip just the four of us and a couple weekend trips.

We decided to open the invitation out for this trip to our extended family to see if they wanted to share in the experience- my sister and her family, my SIL and her family, my MIL, and my FIL. We didn't offer to pay- just a "hey, here are the dates when we are going- maybe you would be interested in coming around the same time and we can have fun together". No takers.

I totally understand why no takers. Not everyone loves Disney like us and it's a lot of money to spend. The thing is I know if we offered to pay they would all come in a heartbeat. We just don't have that kind of money. We paid for my mom to go the first time b/c we knew we would lean on her to help with the kids- we also drove the first time and got a great deal on a 2 bedroom at BWV so we really just needed to pay for her food and tickets- still not cheap.

So I was just wondering- if you had an extended family trip who paid and why?

 

[worm761]

If I invite someone along on my trip, I pay. If we are all just going at the same time, then everyone pays their own way. We might pay for a meal. But this is not something I have to worry about. Neither side can afford it nor do they understand why we go. His sister might take their kids when she feels all 3 are old enough to make it worth it.

 

[SweetieinVT]

We invited my parents this year and we are paying their way, but they will be helping with the kids, and it's really just tickets and food since they'll be staying in the same room as two of our kids and we'd need the second room anyways for six of us. That said, if we were to go with the rest of the family, it would be a matter of everyone going on their own dime. No way could we afford to invite more than just our parents.

 

[gules]

I had a trip that turned into an extended family trip.

Each family paid their own way. My family was originally going for my father's birthday, and my parents offered to pay. It ended up being pushed back to Christmas, which is when my DH and I usually go by ourselves. We offered to pay our own way but warned that we'd consider it our trip, and my parents decided they'd rather it be a family trip and paid for us as well. My uncle ended up tacking himself and his family on. Due to a complication (he lives overseas) my father technically paid for them too, but they paid him back ASAP.

When dining out, since they're brothers, they fought over group bills. Otherwise we paid for ourselves at all times. If DH and I wanted a snack, we paid for it. If we decided to eat somewhere the others didn't want, we paid. Similarly, if my parents wanted the whole family out together for dinner, it was on them. Seems fair to me.

 

[AZMermaid]

I think they way you are looking at it is how I would do it too. If I invited 1-2 people to go with us (a grandparent, adult sibling etc), I would pay- but also assume that they will help me with the kids somewhat. Not every minute of every day, but maybe for a few hours or something.

If it was a lot of families and more of a vacation with coordinated timing, I would never pay or expect to be paid for by someone else.

 

[Gillyrose779]

Thanks for the input! I'm glad to know I'm on the same page as most of you. I was second guessing if it may be considered rude to open the invite but not really offer to pay for anything.

 

[MandiC]

I guess it depends. I have thrown out to my dh's parents/my parents/my sister-in-law and her husband when we are aiming to go back. I'd love if they came but we won't pay their way (no way could we afford it).
If we invited a grandparent with and were hoping they would babysit during the trip, we'd probably pay their way. Just because I wouldn't expect someone to watch my kids while they were paying to be on vacation

 

[Gracie09]

We all pay our own way except my parents have enough DVC points to cover rooms for all of us every other year. Food, tickets, transport, that's all on us.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

When we've traveled with my sister's family (not Disney), we've split costs regardless of who had the original idea. If my BIL's boat is involved, we pay for the gas.

When my parents have gone too (twice), they paid for everything. They insist. In both of those cases, they planned the trip.

 

[HopperFan]

Have been multiple time with extended family, different extensions, both sides of the family. Every family pays their own way in their own lodging. 50/50 if we are even at same resort as everyone should stay where they want and spend what they want. We then meet at the parks/restaurants/water parks. I consider a trip to Disney with extended family something of a family gathering/reunion and everyone should be responsible for their own family as they would any vacation. Only exception is if a parent offers to their children and grandchildren to treat them to a trip.

If I could not afford to go, no way I would accept a trip from a sibling. And there could be various reasons they don't want to go - don't want to go to Disney, expense, limited vacation time, other obligations. I wouldn't worry about it, who knows someone might change their mind and book a trip.

 

[Rose77]

I doubt anyone in your family thinks its rude that you didn't offer to pay. It is probably just a matter of the timing/location/expense not working for them. I know when I am planning an expensive vacation, I want it to be on MY terms. I want to go at the time that is best for me and go to a location of my choosing. Now, if someone were offering up a "free" vacation, sure, I would want to go, but if it's my own money (and a lot of it) we're talking about, I probably wouldn't want to tag along on someone else's vacation unless it was what I really wanted to do as well.

I think it was nice of you to invite them along, but I understand there not being any "takers." Hopefully there are no hard feelings on either side, and your family appreciates that you would want to include them in your vacation plans.

 

[okeydokey]

Thanks for the input! I'm glad to know I'm on the same page as most of you. I was second guessing if it may be considered rude to open the invite but not really offer to pay for anything.

It wasn't really an invitation though. It was just a suggestion that if they were interested in going, it would be a great time to go together. I don't think you are under any obligation to pay for the rest and you mentioned that you really can't afford to anyway.

The first time you were bringing a family member with the purpose of helping you out and I think you were right to pay for that trip.

 

[DisneyRegulars]

We own DVC and when we invite family we provide only the room. They are responsible for their park tickets, food, and airfare to get there. We recently had my mil, bil,sil and niece join us. They would never have gone had we not provided the lodging, and even then it was still an expensive trip for them.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

We took my MIL one year we paid for her ticket and room but asked her to chip in for food. Plus we picked her up and dropped her off since we drove.

 

[NJlauren]

We are going in May with extended family and have gone on two other trips with my parents/sister. Each time it's been these are the dates if you want to join us we are staying here, but you can stay where you want.

One time my parents wanted us to stay at the same hotel as them and we couldn't afford it, they then offered to pay just for the hotel so we could be together.

Personally I don't think that's rude at all. I actually think it's nice to want to vacation with family, not everyone wants that.

I will say we are not sure how TS meals will work out this trip.

 

[mm1971]

My family (DH and 2 young boys) are taking a 10 day trip down to Disney end of May.

The first time we went as a family we took my mom b/c we weren't sure how the kids would do since they were 2 and 4 at the time. We have since gone on a week long trip just the four of us and a couple weekend trips.

We decided to open the invitation out for this trip to our extended family to see if they wanted to share in the experience- my sister and her family, my SIL and her family, my MIL, and my FIL. We didn't offer to pay- just a "hey, here are the dates when we are going- maybe you would be interested in coming around the same time and we can have fun together". No takers.

I totally understand why no takers. Not everyone loves Disney like us and it's a lot of money to spend. The thing is I know if we offered to pay they would all come in a heartbeat. We just don't have that kind of money. We paid for my mom to go the first time b/c we knew we would lean on her to help with the kids- we also drove the first time and got a great deal on a 2 bedroom at BWV so we really just needed to pay for her food and tickets- still not cheap.

So I was just wondering- if you had an extended family trip who paid and why?

We have done it different ways each time. Once my parents paid for all of us and the grandkids (they invited us). Another, we paid for mom and dad and then each family paid for themselves (we invited mom and dad). The last trip it was agreed that we would all pay for ourselves. I guess if you are "inviting" them, then you would pay. If you are asking them to join you, but cannot or do not wish to pay, then ask them if they would like to come, but let them know your intention is that each family foots their own bill. If it were us bringing a nephew, cousin or anything like that, we would pay without even discussing.

 

[mermom1]

Our last trip was an extended family trip. My family, SIL and her family and my inlaws. SIL and I each got a room and the grandparents chose who they wanted to stay with. Each group paid for their own park tickets and even went separate ways as our kids are different ages etc. We had breakfasts together and a couple of dinners. Inlaws paid for those dinners.
This trip (next Friday!!!!) we are traveling with both our DD (16 & 19) they each invited a friend and then we invited our nephew who will turn 5 on Saturday of our trip. We only told the girls (even our two) to bring spending money for snacks, souvenirs etc. We invited them so we will pay for them. My nephews mom is sending money for him but we will return it when we bring him home lol. We will provide meals unless the girls decide to go out on their own.

 

[elainesj]

As long as it is clear in the beginning, I can't see that there will be much of an issue either way. I think the way you worded it made it pretty clear each were expected to pay their own way.

I would expect it to be each family pays unless it was clearly offered beforehand. We recently vacationed at WDW with my Dad and he paid for his hotel rooms (although I got dinged about $800 which I didn't realise until later - I had put down my CC and a deposit when I booked his rooms and didn't realize until a month or so later that I had paid an actual deposit, not just a CC hold that is normal when booking hotel rooms). He also paid for many of our meals and we paid for a few meals and bought his ticket as a birthday present.

One day I would love to bring my brother, SIL, and niece to WDW. Unlikely they will be able to afford it so I am dreaming of saving enough airmiles to bring them across the pond (they live in London) and we would pay for everything. If we are able to manage that, we will make a clear offer to them of what we are covering and what costs they can expect.

 

[Crystal824]

We own DVC and when we invite family we provide only the room. They are responsible for their park tickets, food, and airfare to get there. We recently had my mil, bil,sil and niece join us. They would never have gone had we not provided the lodging, and even then it was still an expensive trip for them.

We don't own DVC yet. We are currently in the process of obtaining a resale contract. We would do this. We are actually going on a trip next month. My mom is coming along, but she is paying her own way. While she will be a big help with the kids, we didn't ask her to come along for that purpose. We could handle the kids ourselves. She wanted to come so she is paying her own way. She loves Disney just like us.

OP, we have often gone places with extended family or friends. Generally, everyone pays their own way. It sounds to me, your conversation was more hey, we are thinking about Disney, you guys should come too.

 

[prairiesarah]

We have a trip (semi) planned for this coming Xmas. It will be the first time we've taken a vacation with any of our extended families. My MIL is paying for the accommodations (rental in Windsor Hills). We all are paying for our own flights. She and FIL will likely buy a portion of the groceries for the house and some park passes and/or activities for the 3 grandkids. We will all pay for any meals out for our own families plus any other park passes etc. My DH and I also plan to rent our own vehicle and will pay for that ourselves.