For those that go at Christmas...

[mumom95]

I have a question for you. Do you get much heat from other family members, and if so, how do you handle it.

We are going this year at Thanksgiving, and I'm thinking maybe next year it would be nice to wake up Christmas morning in Disney. But the thought of telling my MIL that we wouldn't be at her house for Christmas, frankly, it scares me. Last year we told her we were going to my sisters for Christmas (this is the first time in 10 years of marriage we had planned on spending a holiday, and I mean any holiday, with my family. Yep, every Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, every last one of them has been with MIL) and she cried and said "I can't imagine not spending the holiday with my family" (I know, I should have said something about not spending any with my family, but frankly I'm chicken). Now, also understand, we were at her house on Dec. 26th, but that didn't count because it wasn't Christmas Day. And when we told her we were going to Disney for Thanksgiving this year, she cried for days every time we called (you wouldn't even have to mention something about Thanksgiving, she would just cry because we called)

So, how does everyone else handle this. Or am I the only one who has a MIL like this.

Oh, and for those that are going to suggest we take them with us, don't bother, there is no way I'm spending that kind of money on a vacation where I have to deal with my MIL and BIL (I adore my FIL).

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Girl-you are too funny! -Only because I feel your pain. I too had a 'sensitive'MIL. But can't drag all that up!!

You have to just put your foot down(sweetly as possible) and stand up for your family. Because obviously she isn't going to generously give you any holidays!! If you want to go to DW for Christmas and you and your dh are in agreement-then start planning your trip and don't let her ruin it for you.

You only have a short time to do these things with your kids, do it while you can and have a blast. When the opportunity arises, just tell her that this is what is planned and you are sorry if she's upset, but you still can celebrate the holiday with them, just at a different time. If that's not good enough, tell her your sorry, but you would appreciate that she doesn't give out the drama in front of the kids.

Also, don't tell her until closer till vacation time-she may want to go! ha ha ha!!

 

[daisyduck123]

Last Christmas, I put my foot down.

Our house has ALWAYS been the one where ALL the relatives (from both sides of the family) gather at Christmas. I was sick of all the work & stress...cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.

Last Christmas, during our Christmas dinner, I announced to everyone that this was the last Christmas we'd be hosting for a while because in 2007 DH, the kids, & I would be in WDW for Christmas & that if they wanted to see us..well....they could book themselves rooms at AKL.

This will be our 1st Christmas in WDW...hopefully the first of many.

I have no idea what all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. will be doing for Christmas this year - but I know they won't be at my house!!!
(I've told them that it's too late to join us because I've already made all our ADRs for that week).

 

[LadyShea]

I told my parents, and my husband when we were engaged (so he could tell his folks), that we would be doing whatever we wanted for holidays and creating our own family traditions...or not. Sometimes we we have joined one or the other family, sometimes we have chosen to stay home alone, sometimes we have invited everyone to celebrate with us, and sometimes we travel. We spent Thanksgiving at Disneyland once, and got a hotel in the mountains one Christmas.

I am glad I set this precedent early on, as when we choose to spend holidays with family it's a nice thing, rather than a chore or expectation. Also, we didn't have children for the first 14 years of our marriage, so it wasn't as big a deal. Now that we have a son, they are already used to the fact that we do what we want LOL

All that being said, in my opinion you are not responsible for your MIL's unreasonable and selfish expectations and should do what you want and let her cry. That you don't even get holidays with your own family is really absurd!

What does your husband say?

 

[buffalogirl]

You're not alone . DH and have learned lots of things are on a "need to know basis", we will delay sharing info to avoid long-term drama. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with Mickey!!

 

[PrincessBelle39]

I have never had a holiday away from my family. This year we will be at WDW for Christmas Day....and the whole family are coming aswell.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You've never spent a holiday with your family?!!! I can't even imagine that. I am very lucky though because my parents and in-laws are close and we spend all the holidays together. If I was you I would let my DH handle it. It's his mother. Good luck!

 

[ObsessedwiththeMouse]

I have a question for you. Do you get much heat from other family members, and if so, how do you handle it.

We are going this year at Thanksgiving, and I'm thinking maybe next year it would be nice to wake up Christmas morning in Disney. But the thought of telling my MIL that we wouldn't be at her house for Christmas, frankly, it scares me. Last year we told her we were going to my sisters for Christmas (this is the first time in 10 years of marriage we had planned on spending a holiday, and I mean any holiday, with my family. Yep, every Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, every last one of them has been with MIL) and she cried and said "I can't imagine not spending the holiday with my family" (I know, I should have said something about not spending any with my family, but frankly I'm chicken). Now, also understand, we were at her house on Dec. 26th, but that didn't count because it wasn't Christmas Day. And when we told her we were going to Disney for Thanksgiving this year, she cried for days every time we called (you wouldn't even have to mention something about Thanksgiving, she would just cry because we called)

So, how does everyone else handle this. Or am I the only one who has a MIL like this.

Oh, and for those that are going to suggest we take them with us, don't bother, there is no way I'm spending that kind of money on a vacation where I have to deal with my MIL and BIL (I adore my FIL).

Do we get flak? Yes....from my husband's mom....My lovely mil.

How do I handle it? There isn't an emoticon on here that can describe what I do...Basically, I say screw it. Christmas time is for families, yes.....that's what I'm doing....spending time with MY (husband and kids) family. Tough taffy.

Merry Christmas!

 

[NVDisMom]

I've got one of these too! We have learned to put off telling anyone that we are not including in our plans as long as possible, if they want to be a jerk or drama...they can do it alone. We'll talk to you when we get back! My MIL seemed to think the only place holidays should be spent is with her. And I'm not talking just Christmas...Mother's Day, Easter, 4th of July, you name it big or small. Even the kids bdays are supposed to be when and where she wants them to be. I put my foot down not so nicely when my youngest was born and I wouldn't let her in my house for a week. Since then DH gets the job of informing her of our plans. Sometimes we even go there, go figure. But I refuse to be guilt tripped any longer. And she's finally learned...well 90% of the time. Sometimes she cannot help herself. Now its my brother's GF that wants to plan my family's Christmas. Ugh!