For those in Maine - a death and burial ?

[luvmarypoppins]

My cousins birth mom lives in Maine. She recently passed away and he went up for the funeral.

His mom was on life support by the time he got there from NJ.

He said they cant have the burial until the spring because of the ground being frozen etc.

Just wondering when in the spring that would happen. Would the body just go to the cemetary then etc.

I was thinking of sending some flowers then etc. Just dont know what the customs are there and what to do etc.

He says he feels terrible that he has to go through this again in the spring, like saying good bye twice. He is just beside himself and I dont know what to do or say. I think he is actually dreading going again.

So any insight or information would be helpful, TIA.

 

[declansdad]

My cousins birth mom lives in Maine. She recently passed away and he went up for the funeral.

His mom was on life support by the time he got there from NJ.

He said they cant have the burial until the spring because of the ground being frozen etc.

Just wondering when in the spring that would happen. Would the body just go to the cemetary then etc.

I was thinking of sending some flowers then etc. Just dont know what the customs are there and what to do etc.

He says he feels terrible that he has to go through this again in the spring, like saying good bye twice. He is just beside himself and I dont know what to do or say. I think he is actually dreading going again.

So any insight or information would be helpful, TIA.

That happens here as well. Typically the burial would happen in April once most of the snow is gone and the ground has started to thaw. After the funeral the casket is left in a vault until the burial. Often the burial is simply the immediate family and maybe some close friends.

 

[RebeccaB]

Mainer here. I'm trying to recall when the cemetery across the road from our garage starts spring burials....most likely Mid to late April. I've always told my husband he can't die in the winter months because I couldn't deal with saying goodbye twice. I am sorry for your cousins loss.

 

[tvguy]

My Uncle was on the board of a community cemetery in very rural northern Saskatchewan Canada.
They didn't want family at the actually burials in the spring because there are things the family just doesn't need to know about the first burials of the year. They wouldn't notify the family until afterwards.

 

[PelletierBears]

My Uncle was on the board of a community cemetery in very rural northern Saskatchewan Canada.
They didn't want family at the actually burials in the spring because there are things the family just doesn't need to know about the first burials of the year. They wouldn't notify the family until afterwards.

What on Earth! What happens at the first burials of the year that family can't be there? I would want to be at my mom or dad's burial and it would take an extreme issue to keep me from it.

 

[kimblebee]

I'm in Manitoba, Canada and have never heard of holding off on a funeral. I've been to 3 in the past month and 2 of them were burials. It happened right after the service and the ground was dug up.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

In New York, when my Great Aunt died (in November), they had the funeral service then. Then when the ground wasn't frozen, she was buried by the funeral home - no 2d service.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Here in Minnesota it depends. Any funeral that I've been to in the southern half of the state buries year round. They often use heaters to warm the ground.

My step-uncle was buried in a very small cemetery just south of Duluth. He passed in January and it was below zero so the burial was held off until the spring. We didn't go back up for the actual burial. I am guessing my step-aunt and cousins were probably there, but they lived near there.

 

[declansdad]

What on Earth! What happens at the first burials of the year that family can't be there? I would want to be at my mom or dad's burial and it would take an extreme issue to keep me from it.

I would like to know that as well. I have never heard of anything like that before.

 

[Dsnyfireman]

I live in maine and have a close friend that owns a funeral home. He said it depends on the cemetery and some times if the family wants to pay extra for ground to be thawed out. But most of his do not get buried until spring, usually April or may. Sorry for the loss, having to go through it twice is hard, I've been through it.

 

[wgeo]

My cousins birth mom lives in Maine. She recently passed away and he went up for the funeral.

His mom was on life support by the time he got there from NJ.

He said they cant have the burial until the spring because of the ground being frozen etc.

Just wondering when in the spring that would happen. Would the body just go to the cemetary then etc.

I was thinking of sending some flowers then etc. Just dont know what the customs are there and what to do etc.

He says he feels terrible that he has to go through this again in the spring, like saying good bye twice. He is just beside himself and I dont know what to do or say. I think he is actually dreading going again.

So any insight or information would be helpful, TIA.

In my experiences in NH - the "traditional" funeral is held immediately, so if you are wanting to send flowers you would want to do that now.

When the ground thaws enough for the burial it is usually a very small/short graveside service with just a few people in attendance and usually flowers aren't delivered there.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Agree with others that the spring burial would tend to be an immediate family only sort of thing. The full service, ie with flowers, would be this week or whatever.

 

[canadianjovigirl]

Really.....here in Alberta Canada where the ground is frozen half the year they still do burials. They dig up the ground the same as during summer months.

We just buried my husbands cousin during a blizzard a few weeks ago and there was no waiting until the spring. I've never actually heard of that.

 

[pumba]

My dad and mother both passed away in the winter...I am from maine also...and they were buried in the spring...It depends on the weather also..Beginning of May was the time for their burial..
They were placed in the vaults that are near the cemetery's...

Flowers to the funeral home are sometimes taken from the funeral home and placed at nursing homes for the patients there...we did this so not to waste the sending flowers..

How about sending a plant to his home at a future date...something that can be kept for longer

 

[kirstenb1]

DH's parents are from Millinocket, ME. He said as a boy the burials were always postponed til spring. But he's nearly 50, so maybe things have changed. OP, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[POOHsie]

My dad died on New Year's day in Upstate New York. We had the funeral, but not the burial. Dad was cremated and his container of ashes sat on a shelf at the funeral home until a Spring burial. Pretty sure mom was there, but there was no burial ceremony for friends and family.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Just a little update. My cousin said they have still not had the burial.

He did say his step dad did order a headstone so that is ready.

My cousin asked his step dad when the burial was going to be. He said make it on a saturday so everyone can come up etc.

All his step dad said was well it cant be one week end because thats mothers day, it cant be another week end because that would have been their anniversary, it cant be another week end because that would have been her birthday etc.

My heart is just breaking for my cousin.

Honestly, I dont know if the ground is not ready yet, or maybe his step dad might not be ready to say good bye yet? Does that sound strange. Maybe its just me thinking that but I dont want to mention it to my cousin.

All my cousin says he keeps saying how sad and lonely he is (step dad)

Also during May my cousin might go with his dd and grandkids to disney and that kind of would be a last minute thing anyway but that is on the back burner too because of this.

I feel like my cousin wants some closure and just is not getting it etc.

So if anyone is up in that area, have they been having the spring burials yet?

 

[maddiel]

You might want to google the local newspaper or funeral home website and scan some of the recent obituaries to see if they are still delaying burials. It's often noted here in the obituary after the details about the memorial service or funeral that "interment will take place in the spring" or something similar.

M.

 

[dchi]

My Father in law was buried in Maine two weeks ago today. North Berwick, Maine to be exact. There was some talk as to if they would be able to do the burial at that time. In the end they were able to. So I figure they just started to be able to do burials in his area around 2 weeks ago.

 

[AnnaS]

Can you call the cemetery?

When my bil died three years ago - funeral day we woke up to 18" inches of snow - they could not bury him so he was put in a holding crypt. The family was told that the family would be notified and a family member could be present when they buried him. My dh ended up going.

For my dad two years ago - we had 23 inches of snow but he was placed in the crypt (what I call the wall/draws) so no problem there for us. We actually should have postponed the funeral (if we knew we even had the option) since we had to get picked up more than a block away with a pick-up truck. Still shaking my head over this