For Parents with High School Aged kids

[LeahA]

Did you ever have to take a vacation without your oldest child? Whether it was job related, they didn't want to go, or some other reason? How was it the first time you went and they weren't with you? Did you survive? Did they?

Please, responses from parents who actually have gone through this.

 

[clm10308]

I haven't do it yet, but I will be doing it this summer. My DD16 has already gotten a job for the summer, so she will not be able to go visit Grandma and Grandpa with me and her younger brother. My DH will not going since we don't want to use his limited vacation days, so she will not be home alone. I don't feel too bad about it since GM ans GP will be coming to our house this spring anyway.

 

[CatNipRules]

I had an experience with this just recently. DH and I have always went on vacation with our DS. Even if it was just for a short one day trip. Mostly because that is what we've always done.

Well, the last weekend of January was our anniversary. DH wanted to go away for a couple of days. our DS is 14 and will be 15 next month. Well, of course the mom in me is saying no way. The wife is saying sure. I kept wanting to back out until finally DH said that we are going.

Well, I worried the entire time I was gone. What if he gets scared at night? What if he misses us? What if?? The list goes on and on. DH thought it was pretty funny.

Well, he has a cell phone and he kept it turned on so we could call him. The first day I called him like every hour. He was getting annoyed and finally told me that he's not a baby anymore.

Well, I managed to forget about it the next day and didn't call him until almost 3 in the afternoon. He survived and so did I. I was terribly nervous, but I do realize that he needs to be trusted some. Baby steps.

I can't say that I wouldn't freak out the same way again, but we all survived and DH and I had a nice weekend alone.

 

[CDNLADY]

Yes we have done it 4 times first time my youngest was 15 and he stayed home with his older brother and sister 17 and 18 at the time no parties nothing , my mom lives next door so she checked on them they loved it .. We went away for our 19th wedding anniversary last august all kids stayed home again they didnt care it was mom and dad time . We are going in March taking our 21 year old daughter ( her birthday ) and our 17 year old son ,19 year old is staying home he don't want to go rather spend time with his gf and his buddies , Now when my kids were younger no they went every where with us ! Now they are older if they want to go they do if not they stay home take care of the animals and house , For missing them first time I called home 5 times a day lol I missed them more then they missed us lol Have fun and enjoy your time !!

 

[lunalibre]

We'll be doing this in a couple of weeks. DS is going on the high school band trip over spring break, while the rest of the family goes skiing like we usually do. It's going to be WEIRD not having him there, but I know he'll have a great time. DD is going to miss skiing with her daredevil brother, but we didn't want to cancel the trip just because he couldn't go.

DS gets home a couple of days before we do, so he'll be staying with a friend one night and the grandparents another night. I am NOT ready to leave a teenager home with no parents overnight. By the time he's 18, yes, but not yet.

 

[Leajess99]

We've done it and actually went on a trip to WDW. It was a girls only trip so my son got left home with grandma for the week. He was fine with it and is now off at college so he got left behind again in October.

I would not leave him home alone prior to being 18 but he enjoyed staying with his grandma and helping her out. He was not mad about it either. He has gone places without us and we all have survived.

 

[willowsnn3]

Grandson took 3 trips with us to Disney and decided he did not want to go again, lol. He was 15 the first time he stayed behind. But he stayed with his Aunt. He's 17 now & usually keeps his mom's car & spends most of the time we are gone with a friend from church who lives with his grandmom. We know she loves him & will keep him in line.

 

[Nancyg56]

I did years ago. DH and i went away for just under a week and left my HS senior at home with his brother who was in college. My DS was fine with it. I was less fine at first but honestly when I spoke to him I knew it was okay.

I also vacationed with my sister who had learned her DD was not going to be able to join us. Deb was playing in a softball tournament and her team had won the game that would send them to the next level. My sister felt badly that her DD was not able to come, she felt badly that she could not attend the game that prevented Deb from joining us but she had to consider the two other kids. My niece did not feel badly at all, she was doing what she wanted to do and we all really had a good time even though we knew she was not there.

HS students have so much going on that it is hard to make sure you all can vacation together and if IIRC, they don't always want to be with us and that is okay too.

 

[mnlovesdisney]

We have done this many times between our two kids. I guess how it goes depends largely on the kids and their personalities. Our kids had numbers of friends and relatives they could call if they needed something or were concerned about something, and we checked in by phone at least once a day. In our case everyone did great with this. If fact our son will actually get irritated when we call to check on him, reminding us "I'm not a baby you know." LOL.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Yes....We left our DS old home when he was a senior for our 20th anniversary trip. This was not WDW and was just for a few days. I knew he would be completely fine and he was. He even had our 5 year old for part of the time though we did get grandma to take him for a night or so. There was no fear of misbehavior or we would not have done that. We did re-plan our WDW trip to accommodate his college schedule because he wanted to go and we would not ever leave him out of a family trip he wanted to go on but he really enjoyed some time alone and even enjoyed the time being in charge of the kid.

 

[mjkacmom]

Leaving dd15 with the grandparents when we visit family this summer. The family only has kids under 9, and there will literally be nothing for her to do there. She begged! Took her there a few years ago, and she was bored to tears.

 

[InkspressYourself]

We left our 12 year old home last year. She'd been to Disney 5 times and didn't want to go again. Her little sisters was just turning 6 and she wanted to go.

Everyone was fine. I've never been a my way or the highway kind of person. As long as everyone is safe and happy, it's fine with me if we aren't all together every minute of every day.

She doesn't want to go with my dd and I on our next trip either, so she clearly didn't rethink it and regret not getting to go.

 

[LeahA]

Thanks for all the responses. We are not sure what we do moving into this new phase in our lives. My son will be on his High School band trip during spring break and plans on being an umpire this summer and attend his Football summer camp. We have 2 younger sons and only certain times a year we can vacation because of work. We wouldn't leave him alone anytime we would leave though, not yet, maybe in a few years.

Times sure are changing!!!!

 

[InkspressYourself]

I guess I should add that I didn't leave her home alone. She was spoiled up by my sister and my brother in law.

I don't want anyone on the dis to think I left a 12 year old all by herself.

 

[LeahA]

I guess I should add that I didn't leave her home alone. She was spoiled up by my sister and my brother in law.

I don't want anyone on the dis to think I left a 12 year old all by herself.

LOL! You better be careful!

 

[Schmeck]

DD19 couldn't get off from work for our last WDW trip, so we scooped up my niece to take her place DD still says she can't believe we went to Disney without her, but she went without me last summer! All's fair in love and Disney, I guess

 

[Kitikat]

DH & I took our first Disney trip without our kids Dec '10 for 2.0. Then last Aug we took our annual Aug trip minus 1 child because he was in Marine boot camp. We are going without any kids again this June for 3.0 then taking 2-3 of the 4 for 4.0. Depending on when our oldest DD goes to Navy boot camp and if she can take the leave.

 

[mouse2mouse]

Just starting this phase in our life. My older DSs are 18 and 15. My younger 2 are DDs 12 and 6. We just went through this last weekend for a last minute beach trip. Boys said they didn't want to go. I was so sad. It came time to leave and they decided they were going We had a great family weekend. I expect the future trips to be me the DH and the girls.

 

[disykat]

The only time we've done it so far was leaving our younger son home while we went to look at colleges with our older son. He stayed with a friend. DH and I have also gone away for weekends leaving them both home.

So far, he's always wanted to come, but we give our son who is off at college a choice about coming.

It will be sad, but our day is coming! I was a younger child so I remember going through this with my siblings. Every adjustment is weird. We took a leaf out of our table recently! (For the four of us, we've always had it ready for 6 people. Now we have it down to 4 so it doesn't feel so empty with just 3 of us sitting there!)

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My kids are still young, but I'd say I was 16 or 17 the first time my parents took a trip without me, and then shortly after that I started taking trips without them. We've only had 2 trips together since - once to visit "the old country" and again for their 50th anniversary (I was 43 ).

edit: we were a family that took a LOT of trips when I was a kid. Both of my parents were teachers, so they had a lot of free time for that kind of thing even though Dad typically had a Summer job. So, it felt a bit strange when it all came to an end.