For parents of more than 2 -- a ?

[minkydog]

You will be fine! I also have 4 young children spaced very closely together. They are 7, 5, 4, and 2. Really we just stick to a routine and have rules that we really enforce. It takes alot of consistancy. As the bible says "let your no mean no and your yes mean yes". We also do not allow sibling fighting. If that happens both children must go to bed and think about their hurtful actions. We also stress to the children how lucky that they are to have friends that live with them and always have someone to play with. All of our children get along. My 7 year old swears that the reason hes 2 year old little brother was born was because he prayed so hard for a little brother. He treats his little brother like gold! Actually all of the older children spoil DS2.
nicole

I had to giggle at this. My oldest for the longest time believed thats how babies were made--you got on your knees and prayed. Worked for us

We have three kids and they never fight. I mean, in the last 13 yrs I have heard maybe *once* a cross word spoken between the two older ones. The youngest is autistic and very lovable. They get exasperated with him, but you really can't get too mad--he's so darn cute From the start we just never allowed yelling, put-downs, or names and DH & I have alwasy treated each other with the utmost respect. Fussing & arguing doesn't fly in my house. We homeschooled for many years and my kids learned quickly not to tick off their classmates And many is the time one has been in time-out in their room and the other standing by the door, crying and begging for me to let the offender out.Now they're big enough to gang up on us.

My mother had 5 kids in 8 yrs. She always said the biggest adjustments came with #1 & #2. After that the others just kinda slipped in, took their places and got with the program. I've seen that with my 3, for sure.

 

[kkevcamsmom]

Thank you everybody for your honest replies and all of your prayers/well wishes. Some days we go from being ecstatic to thinking what the heck are we getting ourselves into! It was devastating for us when we found out that we couldn't have children biologically. Then it took us so long to come to the route we are at now. So it has been wonderful but overwhelming at the same time.

DD has a myriad of emotional/behavioral problems that we are seeing multiple "therapists" for and it is our understanding that her DB that is in the other foster home (2 yo) is displaying almost the exact same behaviors. We know that this is due to the neglect that they were experiencing in the bio home. Luckily we got DS at such a young age that he is showing no effects from the neglect (was a totally different story when we first got him).

We are planning on moving closer to our family and friends (we are about an hour away from our closest relatives now) in a month and a half. So I know that will be helpful. When DS came to us, I became a SAHM and until they are ALL older and in school, that is how it will remain. DH is absolutely fine with that and MIL will be very close by to help us out at any time. I think what scares me most is the fact, like PoohHappens said, is that we are going from 0 to possibly 4 children in a years time. We are just getting used to being "first time parents" with the 2 that we have, so the whole thing is just mind blowing.

So thank you for everything. It really helps to have other people to discuss this with!

I am a home daycare provider and one of the boys I take care of has emotional and behavior challenges too. He's a sweet boy most of the time but he can be a handful. When he gets overwhelmed at my house he gets to go to his quite place (he picked under my desk for some reason), he sits there until he decides he's ok.

I also use the phrase " That is not acceptable" instead of using the word bad, since I want just the behavior to end, I also use it with my own kids.

And yes I bribe him (non food). If he is makes it through the day without biting or hitting he gets a "I was good" paper with some sort of sea creature on it to take home. Since I started this a month ago, I have only had three episodes where he nearly was sent home.

Taking care of these little ones is hard enough, when they have these issues they can't control it's harder. But we take it one day, sometimes one hour at a time. If he does have an issues we deal with it and then move on, what's happened is done.

Lori

 

[KJMAX1]

KJMAX1: I'll certainly be thinking about you and your "airport situation" LOL! Looks like we will probably just miss each other, unless you will be at Pop for over a week. We are arriving there on Aug 30. This adoptive parenting is so much more than we ever imagined. I am sorta glad that they capped us out at 4, or DH and I would be in BIG trouble.

We are there for ten days BABY!! We cant wait! Youll spot us easily!! We are the parents totally exhausted with 4 kids who are totally not exhausted!! I figured if we were going to make this major trek to the other side of the country, we are staying for a long vacation! So if you see us, two boys, two girls then shout out a hello!! We travel from Seattle to WDW, and we bring 4 carseat/boosters, a twin stroller, three suitcases, and of course all our carryons! God be with us!! I just hope someone will take pity on us and help us out. Last year we flew with three kids to Maui, and security was LESS than helpful. For some reason they see us coming and I guess we look like we need some more "help" and they decide we all need to be screened really well. All shoes off, wands going, orders being shouted, emptying pockets, video games, and screens being turned off and on, carseats being checked, strollers, jackets off, blankies, lovies, baby's bottle, pockets emptied, oh yeah and by the way, we have to pick all this junk up on the other side, and also somehow get our shoes and the kids on without holding up the line...BTW, we also have no seating in this area of security. We are doing the large ziploc suggestion this time, and shoes off WAY before security. Once we are on the plane we are fine..Our kids sleep the entire way..On a plane of 42 kids from Maui last year, ours slept the whole way and everyone was so impressed. I only pray that they do that again. When you start to have more kids than you do parents you seem to always have to be looking over your shoulder for someone!! The totally awesome thing though.....We ARE the party. No one is ever lonely in our house...It cant be that bad either because we adopted a dog this past Feb. She was only 7 weeks old and I guess we didnt have enough chaos that we needed to add her too.

Hope to see you there!! We are going to try for the Wiggles!!

 

[Mommy2Lots]

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[nicolemomof4cuties]

KJMAX1- Don't worry about flying with all of your little ones- you will be fine. We flew last November with 1.5 DS, 3.5 DD, 4.5 DD, 6.5 DS and we were fine! Actually other parents were pointing at our children and saying things like "Why can't you guys be that good?". When we got off of the plane both times quite a few people did not even realize that children were seated there because they were so quiet. I have a nerve disease and was worried about the flight for a few weeks previous. It was sensless worry-they were great! Maybe partially 'cause they didn't want to stress the mama out. LOL!

 

[3DisneyBuggs]

We have three kids: 8, 3.5, and 18 months. It was harder going from 2 to 3, mainly because my DD was still small hersef. But otherwise on a daily basis, he just fits right in. Now that he is walking and talking, he joins in on the crazy fun my other two like to have. I have to say, it is more tiring having three but I wouldn't change it except maybe to add one more. Oops, don;t let the baby fairy hear that one! Good luck to you and your family!