? for Parents - Not wanting to do things with friends.

[Piglet]

Do you make your kids go to friends birthday parties when they don't want to go??

My 7yo does not like going. I think once she got there she would enjoy herself. She has a few very close friends, but seems to get along with all the kids.

I know she has some issues -

She is special needs, but you can't tell by just looking at her and she has been though quite a lot of hospitalizations and procedures. She doesn't like taking her meds in front of the kids and she also seems to worry when I'm not there that she will get sick

She is the type of kid that really enjoys her time at home and doesn't like running all the time. She also doesn't seem comfortable in large groups. She is an only and really seems like all she wants to do is be with her Dad and myself.

Anyone else have a kid like this?? How important is it, I really think as she gets older she will come out of this on her own. I am sure soon enough I won't be able to keep her at home.

Melinda

 

[Cindy B]

My son is the same way.. he would rather do him by himself and his sister than with friends...

 

[DoeWDW]

If she doesn't want to go to a friend's party, can you set up a special play date for just the two of them?? That way, they can share time together without her feeling overwhelmed. Not every child (or adult) likes big noisy parties.....

 

[JESW]

My DS9 is like that...he prefers to do things on his own and is comfortable being by himself. He does go to bd parties tho but hasn't been invited to many lately. I think what has happened is that he does not play sports so has not been part of any group. When the kids send out invitations now they tend to send them out to the same kids in their group or team. (As oposed to when they were younger and sent them out to all the boys or girls in their class)

My DD will be 5 in January and is a whole other story...she is a social butterfly and will most likely be out and about a lot.

I sometimes still find it hard when I see DS home by himself but it doesn't seem to bother him.

Jill

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have a 7yodd that is like that too. She would prefer one-on-one play or small groups.
In fact for her birthday in Sept we took her good friend to a ceramics place/dinner at Applebees. Not a big party but she doesn't mind that. They had a blast.

I will admit I forced her go to the neighbors party up the street. It was a tea/dress up party (which she despises!). I begged her to try it and have a good time.
Well it turns out she acted way too goofy for a tea party, so I don't think she will be invited back.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I would never force a child to go to a birthday party.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by CJMickeyMouse
I would never force a child to go to a birthday party.

I suppose "encouraged" is a more appropriate word.

 

[Bon Bon]

I too have a special needs child and it too is not obvious from looking at her. I really feel for your daughter's situation. The thing with her is that she has a few close friends and they know her needs and know she takes medication. They are very protective of her as well so if any of these close friends will be at the party, that may be more comforting. But I strongly encourage my DD to make her own decisions (age appropriate) and putting her in a situation that is uncomfortable for her is not going to do anything for her except add stress. IMHO, I would send a card and/or gift and leave it at that. Good luck. Big hugs to your DD and you!

 

[Kallison]

Originally posted by CJMickeyMouse
I would never force a child to go to a birthday party.

Everyone knows their kids, sometimes forcing to do something is necessary. If I never forced my kids, they would miss out on a lot of life experiences. Yes, I've forced them to go somewhere and try stuff once and they are not psychologically damaged. They would still be going around in circles on It's A Small World at Disney if I didn't force them onto Splash Mountain or Test Track which we can't get them off of now. I've forced my 13 year old to try the school dance,he loved it. I've forced my 9 year old to remain in Scouting, now she loves it too. I forced my kids to play instruments because I believe learning music is good for their education. I also don't look down on parents who never make their kids do anything out of their comfort zone. I think back to times when I wish my parents had pushed me more. Everyone does their best at parenting in their own way -- there is no right or wrong way.

 

[Piglet]

Thanks so much for your replies. I feel much better.

It seems that most kids these days are on the go and involved in so much she doesn't seem interested in much at all.

She does show an interest in music and we have been talking with her about taking piano lessons.

Melinda