For all the women of the World

[mojophone]

~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..


This was sent to me via email and I think this is so true of you all and I think more of us men need to realize thihs truth.

 

[pat fan]

I think more of us men need to realize thihs truth.

Wish it would happen, but it aint gonna happen.....

Thanks for the post though. I may print it to look at when I'm feeling low.

 

[mojophone]

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF GE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . .

 

[Panna]

Thanks for the pick me up Mojo!

 

[byoung]

Thanks also.

 

[Minniespal]

Thanx for sharing.

 

[Piglet843]

Be Happy!
It is good to be a woman because:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. (15 years is not so bad though )

13. We will never regret piercing our ears

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

 

[mojophone]

Be Happy!
It is good to be a woman because:

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. (15 years is not so bad though )

13. We will never regret piercing our ears

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

lmdsao omg that is such a hoot

 

[mojophone]

Just bumping this thread up

 

[Piglet843]

Subject: Life is Funny

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,
"So....you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you
completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the
police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with them.

 

[mojophone]

bumping

 

[Piglet843]

Sorry - I don't mean to take over - I just love this kind of stuff...



The many meanings of P-M-S:


1. Pass My Shotgun


2. Psychotic Mood Shift


3. Perpetual Munching Spree


4. Puffy Mid- Section


5. People Make me Sick


6. Provide Me with Sweets


7. Pardon My Sobbing


8. Pimples May Surface


9. Pass My Sweatpants


10. Pissy Mood Syndrome


11. Plainly; Men Suck


12. Pack My Stuff


.and my favorite one..


13. Potential Murder Suspect

And as an example:

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to
change a light bulb! They don't even know that the
bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark
for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in
the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But
if they did! , by some miracle of God, actually find
the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME
IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE
GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT
DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

I'm sorry. What was your question?

 

[mojophone]

Sorry - I don't mean to take over - I just love this kind of stuff...

Hope I did that right.
I don't feel your taking over at all. I too love this type of humour and sentamentalisim. I am hoping that this type of stuff will earn us some more tags and that it will get others to post humourous and sentamental stuff for everyone to enjoy. I won't let it get hurtful though cause that just ain't cool.

 

[Tinky]

Hope I did that right.
I don't feel your taking over at all. I too love this type of humour and sentamentalisim. I am hoping that this type of stuff will earn us some more tags and that it will get others to post humourous and sentamental stuff for everyone to enjoy. I won't let it get hurtful though cause that just ain't cool.

Mojo I think your just an 'ol softy at heart...

 

[mojophone]

Mojo I think your just an 'ol softy at heart...

Hiya Tinky, Can I borrow you to tell that to my DD7 and my DS11? To borrow someone elses statement, (from here on the DIS but don't remember the name) I am the meanest dad in the world lmdsao) but then again I am not sure I want to disabuse them of that notion

 

[Tinky]

Hiya Tinky, Can I borrow you to tell that to my DD7 and my DS11? To borrow someone elses statement, (from here on the DIS but don't remember the name) I am the meanest dad in the world lmdsao) but then again I am not sure I want to disabuse them of that notion

Ya but thats what they are supposed to think ... I'm a complete and my DD6 and DS8 think I'm heck on wheels... can you imagine?
We cant let it out that we're soft ... utter chaos would ensue.

 

[mojophone]

Ya but thats what they are supposed to think ... I'm a complete and my DD6 and DS8 think I'm heck on wheels... can you imagine?
We cant let it out that we're soft ... utter chaos would ensue.

You must have wonderfully behaved children cause I swear mine are dreaming up ways to push my buttons even while they are sleeping lol

 

[Piglet843]

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an
apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: .50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: .25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75


Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge.
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge, Son.
When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you". And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL"

 

[mojophone]

I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze!
I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, cell-phone wearing, ipod in the ears teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.


Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?


But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.

We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

 

[magicmirror]

I loved them all!! Then (of course) the one about the little boy and his mom made me cry (must be pms'ing) Thanks for the post you guys. I enjoyed reading, and just wanted to subscribe.