For 54 years my mother held me in her arms on my birthday

[JVL1018]

I'm so sorry, Kath. {{{{}}} I am crying right along with you.

My son's birthday is 9/5 and mine is 9/26 and it is breaking my heart that my Mom won't be there this year. She died suddenly June 16th. Diagnosed with cancer April 12th. I believe the chemo was too much for her, she had a heart attack, absolutely NOT what we were expecting-I literally fell to my knees when I got the phone call.
Every year she made me whatever I wanted for my birthday dinner and every year I picked chicken cutlets(she made the best!), scalloped potatoes, lima beans and corn. No special birthday dinner for me this year.
My sons birthday, there will be no grandma there to spoil him(my MIL died suddenly as well(heart attack)-12 days before we had our daughter).
Today my kids and I were at the mall and my daughter looked so upset and I said what's wrong? She pointed at a nearby table at a mom, 2 kids and grandma and grandpa eating lunch and said It's not FAIR! Why do THEY get a Grandma and I don't have one anymore!?
I just said I know baby, I know. and I do know, sometimes I see women walking with their moms and I want to kick them in the shins. Sometimes I am SO jealous.
Also at the mall today we were shoe shopping and my daughter was walking up and down the aisles chanting I HATE cancer, I HATE cancer.
It's really not fair, and I am so very sorry you are in a similar situation.
I miss my Mom's touch so much. I lay in bed each night and close my eyes and beg her to come down from Heaven for just a moment.
I concentrate so hard, hoping to feel her hand on my hair, her lips on my cheek, her arms around me, even for a second.

 

[Towncrier]

Hugs to you on your special day. My heart aches with you. I cannot imagine your pain as I am blessed to have both of my parents around to give me hugs and kisses. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[nativetxn]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I was feeling very sad, when I wrote this. I'm still feeling a little weepy but I'm doing better.

One day at a time. I can do this

 

[chrissie123]

so so sorry i do not know what i would do if my mum was not here(making me cry just thinking about it) She is an inspiration to me... she was abandoned at 18months, adopted at12yrs old by a tyrant who was not a good mum to her(she bullied & tortured her until she made a new life for herself at the tender age of 17) lost a son my eldest brother when he was 2 ( i did not know him has i was born 6yrs later) she had to go through a teenage pregnancy with my older sister(her eldest daughter.. who was just 16. in 1979 & came home pregnant one day... not the done thing then here in the uk)so got frowned upon whithin the local community... then to top things off my other brother gets the local b**** pregnant, & ends up marrying her.... thus having 20 hellish years of marriage to this day... My poor Mum sits & worries about him each & every day.... & through all this she has amazingly beaten breast cancer...having to have a radical mastectomy10yrs ago... she now lives with a poorly arm due to lymphodema... but she is the happiest warrmest caring mum you could ever care to meet... Myself & brother & sister are so so fortunate to have her... & love her to bits every single day....there`s nothing quite like having your mum to go home to sorry again myself & family`s thoughts are with you

 

[poohandwendy]

OH NativeTxn,

You made me cry, today is also my birthday and I although I still have my mother, my father is gone and I know what you are saying, it is so tough....this won't be the happiest birthday for you, but know your mothers love is still shining down on you!

take care,
wendy

 

[Micca]

Birthday for you. Hang in there Kath

 

[lisajl]

Kath,
I'm so sorry...

You've helped me through some rough spots. I know, mend those fences. You never know how long someone will be here.

Happy Birthday...I'm sure your mom is smiling at you and wishing she could hug you too.

Lisa

 

[Blondie]

 

[lovingthemouse]

A belated Happy Birthday to you Katholyn - it is extremely difficult when those so close to you are not there on special ocassions. I am so fortunate to have my 93 year young mother with us and after reading your post gave her an extra hug and kiss today while she was here. A simple reminder that can impact so many lives- thanks for sharing Kath. Caroline

 

[goofy4tink]

Sorry I'm late getting here Katholyn. Last month I was wondering if what I was feeling was normal...same feelings as you just had! My first b-day without my mother after 55 years. And now, her birthday is next week. Another hard day to get thru. Man, this first year is hard isn't it?

 

[JerseyJanice]

 

[KIRSTIN'S MOMMY]

I'm so sorry Katholyn.

 

[oldkicker]

kath