FMIL Vent

[BrideToBe82]

My FMIL is in town and staying with us for an entire WEEK...a very very long week haha! She hasn't really said anything encouraging about the wedding. All she has said was "August is going to be too hot". I have been trying hard to include her in on all the details and she hasn't really been too responsive. Today when I told her we booked our honeymoon and that we were going to go on a cruise all she said was "I don't like ships or water". Ugh why is she being so negative when everyone else around us is so happy? My fiance said that she is not too big on weddings (she herself had a very small wedding) and is not that girly. I can understand that but she doesn't have to say negative things!!

Am I expecting too much from her? I was just hoping that this was something that we could bond over. Guess not.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

Sorry you have to go through this. My FMIL is the same way. Everything is negative. She thinks we are crazy for doing a Disney wedding. My FFIL has been great. He is paying for our honeymoon. Keep your head up.

 

[SRUAlmn]

never mind

 

[cjb71870]

That would really suck! I am blessed with and know how lucky I am to have the MIL that I have. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that. But, she will be yours from now on. Don't let her get you down. If she doesn't change her attitude then don't try to involve her as much as you wish she would want to be involved. It is your day. I feel bad for her, not being happy and excited about her sons wedding. Keep your smile on and enjoy. Don't allow anyone to influence your happiness. Good luck!

 

[dznystar]

Just remember that no matter what anyone else says, this is your day! You can't make everyone happy, and I know that you want them to be, but more importantly you and your DF have to be happy. Keep your chin up!

 

[Deesknee]

I'm sorry you have to go thru this. I hope I am not like that when my kids get married. (not in the near future).

When my nephew was getting married, my DSIL was a bit unemotional. (is that a word), anyway, the reason was, this was her baby. Her two older sons had bought a duplex together and moved out. She has 3 sons. One got married in July, bought the duplex with his brother in Nov. (so now 2 sons out), then the 3rd got married in June. She got alot better when the wedding was actually upon her. Hopefully your FMIL will be more positive.

Good thoughts for all you brides struggling with future in-laws out there.

 

[georgiajaimie]

I have had negative responses from my own mum about our entire wedding. She will not fly so wont be attending but I thought she might like a say in the planning so we took the dvd round to watch with her. Well, she didn't even look at it, she just started on about her hairdressers wedding arrangements. After sharing more information over the weeks and realising she hasn't paid any attention, we gave up. Even my young daughters picked up on it.

My FMIL on the other hand has been fab So supportive and gives advice only when requested. Not sure where we'd be without her.

 

[i*heart*villains]

I have to say that my FMIL hasn't always been supportive. She told me that a photographer was a waste of money & didn't seem interested in wedding plans at all. I had really been hoping that she would help out more as my mother has passed away, so I was pretty disappointed that wasn't the case. But I just bit my tongue and didn't show how upset I was. Recently she has started coming around, asking more questions & even offered to go dress shopping with me. So maybe she will change as you get closer to the day. Good Luck!

 

[Maggimus]

My Soon to be FATHER in law is worst than anyone. He is 44yo married to a just turned 30 year old girl with 4 kids from previous marriages... and now pregnant with his (DF is28 yrs old- as old as his new wife). ANYWAYS- He tells us hes not going because we are wasting our money- why dont we have a wedding IN OUR YARD and get this band that we know to play- ya ya ya . His dad has a lot of money and thinks its stupid to spend it on the unity of marriage (I wonder why ). Anyways....

Things will look up for you! Maybe your DF should mention to your FMIL that she isnt going about this the best way (and he means that from his role in this situation). I hope things work out.

Im blessed bc my DF doesnt have a relationship- well much of one- with his dad so... i just dont have to see or put up with him.

 

[Leash]

I know how you feel. I have never liked my FMIL but I try very hard not to let that show though DFi knows but I still try to be as nice as possible. When we got engaged and told her she was just like "oh that's nice" so at that point I decided I would not include her in any of the planning since she obviously didn't care. Fortunatly she has not expressed any intrest in the planning so I have gotten away with it. In fact, the other day we were at her house and she and DFi were talking about the wedding in another room and all of I sudden I heard her say in a really nasty tone "Well who gets married on the beach anyway". I got so mad but I just kept it to myself to try to keep the peace but that just reinforced my plan of not including her in any planning. Anyway my point is if she has nothing but negative things to say about your wedding maybe you should just stop trying to include her in the planning. It will save some of your sanity.

 

[Moonpie]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Be strong....know in your own heart that your opinions are the only opinions that matter for this wedding. If I were you....every time she said a nasty remark, I would smile, and say, "Oh, that is just a lovely purse you have!" Which is code for: (bleep) you and the horse you came in on! Or I would say, "I adore that necklace you're wearing!" Which is code for: Give me your opinion again...and you'll be perminently wearing my footprint on your hind quarters! Just smile, say something sweet...but think something else... ...and have confidence that your ideas for your wedding are probably in better taste than hers are.

 

[BrideToBe82]

Haha you ladies are the greatest!! I'm trying really hard to just tune her out. She is just so anal and so negative...I can't stand to be around people like that. I will smile and keep the peace for my FI's sake.

OMG this morning she actually went to hit our cat when she got on the coffee table (we don't hit our animals and we find it cruel) and my FI had to jump in and tell her that we will tell our pets no when they do something wrong. I think I would have yelled at her if I saw that!

4 more days...

 

[JackieSparrow]

bottom line is you just have to always keep remembering that its YOUR wedding, and to ignore the negativity that's going on around. it is really unfortunate that people try to rain on others' parades especially when its supposed to be one of their most joyous times in life. you can't make everyone happy all the time, but since your wedding is going to leave you with a lifetime of memories, make sure that you're happy so that your memories are happy too

 

[SRUAlmn]

Haha you ladies are the greatest!! I'm trying really hard to just tune her out. She is just so anal and so negative...I can't stand to be around people like that. I will smile and keep the peace for my FI's sake.

OMG this morning she actually went to hit our cat when she got on the coffee table (we don't hit our animals and we find it cruel) and my FI had to jump in and tell her that we will tell our pets no when they do something wrong. I think I would have yelled at her if I saw that!

4 more days...

never mind

 

[JJClemson]

I know how you feel My FMIL thinks everything should be her way or else it is just "wrong" Those little comments can really get to you. I cannot imagine what you must be going through having your FMIL staying w/ you for a week! Just take deep breaths and try to ignore her. If she continues to upset you, have your DF talk to her and tell her to butt out! I have had to have my DF do this tons of times Good luck, we are here for you!

 

[JDR2b777]

My IN-LAWS live in Brazil and speak portuguese. I speak some portuguese (being a spanish major).

My friends say how lucky I am that I don't have to deal with them - Maybe I am - I dunno. They are sweet though - but it could be different if they were from here and spoke english.

When they think of a disney world wedding i think they think we will get married in front of a ride or something.. I think they have NOOO clue what to expect.

 

[MiaBella05]

FMIL are very unpredictible. my FMIL can be so sweet or a villian depending on which day it is. She just cant seem to let go of her "little" boy and she is doing everything possible to make sure her voice is heard!

my advice is to tune her out and just smile and nod your head at her and keep your thoughts at your beautiful DW!

 

[AKL_Megs]

I'm having sort of the same problem with my FMIL. She has all kinds of what I feel are negative comments. I just know she hates WDW and can't stomach the thought of having to go there again, as she hated it her first and only time. She insists that "making people pay for a vacation" is rude, even though FH's uncle, who will be one of the few invited, has voiced interest in going, and I know his wife will want to go, as she is also a huge WDW fan. I don't know why select FMIL's have to spoil this for us! Why can't they sit back and let us enjoy this!!!

 

[SRUAlmn]

FMIL are very unpredictible. my FMIL can be so sweet or a villian depending on which day it is. She just cant seem to let go of her "little" boy and she is doing everything possible to make sure her voice is heard!

never mind