Flying alone, Pooh-sized?

[Terapin]

It's a really difficult situation for all involved. I feel empathy for someone who is too large for a seat but cannot afford a larger seat or two seats, but it also sucks to be the person who has less seat than they bought due to a seat mate needing their seat and part of someone else's too. It can be painful and extremely uncomfortable to have several inches of the standard 17" seat taken away from you. especially if you are not a small passenger either.

On a recent flight back from Paris (8 hours) my dh had part of his seat taken up by the woman sitting beside him. He couldn't rest or sleep as he had to keep his shoulders hunched together, he was squished into about 13" of the seat, and had her thigh on his thigh. Of course he didn't say anything, but he was miserable. He is not small either - 200#.

My advice is to keep the armrest down to ensure you are keeping to your space and not encroaching on another's. I hear that you are self-conscious (I've struggled with weight and I know how it feels inside one's head sometimes) and wanting to be as considerate as possible. I'm sure it will go well! I hope you get nice seat mates and you enjoy your trip!

 

[Jerusalem Gal]

That's pretty much what I did. Tight squeeze but I was able to stay on my side. Don't worry about flying alone. it will be fine.

Thank you!! I'm going to do my best to give them as much space as possible!

It's a really difficult situation for all involved. I feel empathy for someone who is too large for a seat but cannot afford a larger seat or two seats, but it also sucks to be the person who has less seat than they bought due to a seat mate needing their seat and part of someone else's too. It can be painful and extremely uncomfortable to have several inches of the standard 17" seat taken away from you. especially if you are not a small passenger either.

On a recent flight back from Paris (8 hours) my dh had part of his seat taken up by the woman sitting beside him. He couldn't rest or sleep as he had to keep his shoulders hunched together, he was squished into about 13" of the seat, and had her thigh on his thigh. Of course he didn't say anything, but he was miserable. He is not small either - 200#.

My advice is to keep the armrest down to ensure you are keeping to your space and not encroaching on another's. I hear that you are self-conscious (I've struggled with weight and I know how it feels inside one's head sometimes) and wanting to be as considerate as possible. I'm sure it will go well! I hope you get nice seat mates and you enjoy your trip!

I appreciate your answer- thank you very much.
I know how it feels to be squeezed in your own space simply because too often the person in front of you is inconsiderate with their seat in your face (even though seats are supposed to recline) or there's someone with their knees in your back from behind or even someone just falling asleep on your shoulder... (I'd never wake them! )
I'll be sure to keep my armrest down and I'll probably find myself leaning over into the aisle most of the time, just to make sure I don't crowd them.
Thanks again

 

[BigAlsGal]

I think people don't always get that. It's mortifying to know you're squishing someone and have nothing to do about it. On the bus I'd rather just stand, but on an airplane you have no choice but to sit.

But there was something she could do about it. She could have purchased the seat next to her and NOT squished me. This whole scenario is completely avoidable so no....I had no sympathy for her as I sat in a 10 inch space with her whole body pressing against me.

And I don't want to hear about money. If I have to pay to sit next to my kids she could have paid for more room.

 

[Allison]

My only wish is to be seated next to other friendly people because one nasty comment can ruin the trip for me.

I'm going to be straight-forward-You need to prepare yourself for this. The fact is you may hear a comment or two.

 

[winterman]

Last year while waiting to board a flight, I noticed a very large man speaking to the agent at the gate. I wondered if he was asking if he could sit next to an empty seat. When I boarded, I saw that he was next to me in a window seat (in a 2 + 2 seating arrangement). As far as I could tell the plane was full, although I did not ask if I could be moved. I spent the entire flight leaning out into the aisle. The day before I had fainted outside the Animal Kingdom, smacking my head on the pavement so this position was even more uncomfortable than it would have been otherwise. The man was very nice. I asked if the aisle would he be better for him and he said no. Thankfully the flight was only 75 minutes long.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

But there was something she could do about it. She could have purchased the seat next to her and NOT squished me. This whole scenario is completely avoidable so no....I had no sympathy for her as I sat in a 10 inch space with her whole body pressing against me.

And I don't want to hear about money. If I have to pay to sit next to my kids she could have paid for more room.

I'm sorry, but I have to agree. We, as a board, tell people that they need to suck it up and pay the extra to make sure they are sitting next to their kids. Why is it okay to need two seats but to only pay for one?

 

[Jerusalem Gal]

If a person really needs two seats and cannot fit into one- I agree, they should purchase an extra seat. But some cases are borderline. I can certainly fit into one seat, arm-rest down and all.
I'm still worried the person next to me may feel uncomfortable.
What about someone who has chronic bad breath that no tic tac or mouthwash can help? Should they purchase an extra seat because the person next to them may get a whiff? I know it's not the same but I mean this as a serious question. Where do you think someone should draw the line?

 

[sam_gordon]

Where do you think someone should draw the line?

Do you (general) take up any of your neighbor's seat? If no, then IMO, any discomfort felt by your neighbor just needs to be dealt with. If you take up some of your neighbor's seat, you should purchase another seat. Seems pretty simple to me.

 

[piccolopat]

But there was something she could do about it. She could have purchased the seat next to her and NOT squished me. This whole scenario is completely avoidable so no....I had no sympathy for her as I sat in a 10 inch space with her whole body pressing against me.

And I don't want to hear about money. If I have to pay to sit next to my kids she could have paid for more room.

I agree. Airline travel is not a right. If you can't fit in a seat without taking some of your neighbor's space, delay your trip, save more money and buy two seats or upgrade to a class where the seats are bigger. If not, fly at a time that others find less than ideal and pick a seat in the back so that you have a good chance of having an empty seat next to you. I am not small and occasionally use an extender but I fit in the seats without overflow and with the armrest down. There was a time that I was getting close to needing a second seat and would have gone that route if I had to. However, my husband is 6'2" and we always pay extra to upgrade so he has enough leg room. I don't see why large people won't pay to get the space they need. If someone sat next to me and overflowed into my space, I would call for the attendant and ask that the person be moved. I don't pay good money to travel and have someone I don't know sit on me. It's not that I'm not sensitive to the situation, but it is not my responsibility to make sure someone else doesn't feel bad about themselves when there are solutions out there that don't involve making others uncomfortable.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Imagine how SHE felt. I guarantee she felt a million times worse than you.

We both paid for one seat. That seat is a specific size, which I could be mistaken airlines list the size of online. If I'm incorrect on that I apologize upfront. A person who is Pooh size or plus Pooh size knows the size seat they will fit in. The sadly deal with that daily in cars, restaurant seats and booths, movie theaters, schools,etc. Please tell me how it is fair to me a person who paid for one full seat to have someone else take a portion of my seat. Their disability might be visible, my back issues might not and I should be entitled to sit straight up and not at an awkward angle. Honestly I doubt a person taking up part of another persons seat thinks anything of it.

It seems something should be done by the airlines to help passengers of size, but sadly the airlines just care about money. The OP is showing they are concerned about those around her which is great. It is sad that the seats are becoming smaller as people are becoming bigger. While the seat was horribly uncomfortable I liked the fact armrests stayed put on Allegiant. Sadly I am selfish and sit in my seat and if I find someone pushing into my seat I won't move. I am using every inch of the small space I paid for.

It is like those who don't care about the massive amounts of perfume they wear, those who don't keep their lap child who is almost at the cutoff age in their space. Like those who don't think the airlines can separate a parent from their child and expect others who paid for their seat to move for them.

 

[Jerusalem Gal]

Thanks everyone. Please understand that I really am aware of the people around me and I have always and will always do my best not to burden anyone because of my size.
It's very hard for me to read some of these comment even though I agree with you all 100%. Brings back some unwelcome childhood (and adult, come to think of it) memories.
I think this upcoming trip (in two short weeks!!!) will be a test for me to see whether I need a seat upgrade or two seats for next time if I fly alone.

I truly appreciate all of your insights, comments, stories and anything else you shared!

 

[SarahInMN]

She was 1/3 of the way sitting in my seat. There was no way for me to separate us because the arm rest would have slapped down on her hip.

Although we can all have empathy for how the COS felt, the basic issue is one of fairness: both people paid for 1 seat and 1 passenger got 4/3 of a seat and 1 passenger got 2/3 of seat. That's a matter of what is right and what people paid for. If a flyer feels like they will squish a seat mate, then they need to buy a 2nd seat or upgrade to first class.

I have been on transcon flights where I arrive at my seat and will clearly only be able to occupy 1/2 of my seat. I quietly go talk to the flight attendant about the issue. If the armrest can't go down, then that is a huge problem with me. I paid for the entire seat, not just part of it.

I sat next to a larger gentlemen on my SWA flight Monday. The flight was full but the airline had issued him a pass that said "Seat Reserved" on it. They pre-boarded him so he was able to choose an aisle seat, and put the "reserved seat" pass in the middle seat next to him. I had the window seat, so he didn't crowd anyone. He said he didn't ask for the accommodation, SWA just issued it to him at no extra charge.

On Southwest, they give you that card if you buy 2 seats in advance: the card is so that it is obvious that the seat is actually taken. If the flight is not full, then they refund the COS the 2nd seat fee.

 

[littlebearfan]

the card is so that it is obvious that the seat is actually taken

I wondered how the airlines would do that - I've never seen it done, nor have we ever tried to purchase an extra seat(s). We are both Pooh sized, but my brother is also 6'3 - so leg room is really an issue. We usually fit into the seats with the arm rests down, but it would be way more comfortable in coach if we were to have an empty seat between us! If we could guarantee getting a row with enough leg room, we might consider purchasing 3 coach seats - rather than purchase 2 first class seats. The cost is one of the reasons we haven't taken many flights in recent years. We are planning a trip to WDW at the end of Sept 2017 - but can't see what the flights will be until later this month - keeping my fingers crossed!!

It is like those who don't care about the massive amounts of perfume they wear

I have actually had really nasty sinus issues from other people's perfume or cologne - so people who smell liked they marinated in it is a huge pet-peeve of mine! I try to keep my mouth shut, but there is no way I could sit on a long flight next to someone wearing to much perfume.

I hope you are seated next to some nice people on all your flights. Please don't let any snarky comments ruin your entire vacation.
Have a Great Trip!

 

[mfly]

On Southwest, they give you that card if you buy 2 seats in advance: the card is so that it is obvious that the seat is actually taken. If the flight is not full, then they refund the COS the 2nd seat fee.

To clarify: Southwest will always refund a COS' second seat, even if the flight is full or overbooked.

https://www.southwest.com/html/generated/help/faqs/extra_seat_policy_faq.html

 

[seashoreCM]

You ought to complain (before departure) if someone tries to take part of your seat.

You must be willing to accept any other empty seat with or without your traveling companions.'

'While some folks may try to push the arm rest back down after the larger person lifts it, that usually does not accomplish much because the larger person's shoulders will likely extend over the armrest or his thighs may still squeeze under the armrest.

It if appears as if the flight crew is not effective in resolving the problem, ask the head flight attendant for a conference with the ground complaint resolution officer and the captain, preferably not within earshot of the larger person.

On some airlines a person who occupies more space than he booked can be bumped to a later flight without compensation. THis is one of that airline's aces up the sleeve for resolving this kind of problem.

If someone is leaning into the aisle in this kind of situation the flight crew is in the wrong and remiss in their duties if they do not excuse themselves each time they need to move a cart past.

...the card is so that it is obvious that the seat is actually taken. ...

The person himself occupying the seat is even more obvious.

Contrary to what any airline employee might say, there are numerous things the airline can do including when the flight is full. The simplest and quickest and the only one you might actually come out and suggest given a full flight is asking for volunteers. I won't state the other ways here for fear of sending this thread off on too many tangents.

 

[OrangeCountyCommuter]

I know this will sound bad. But the armrest between anyone and I goes down.

Luckily I have status on my airlines. I board early. I put it down and my defenses are up to make sure it stays down.

 

[sam_gordon]

You must be willing to accept any other empty seat with or without your traveling companions.'

So let's say I'm travelling with DW. She has the window, I have the middle seat. A POS has the aisle seat and they're so large, they're taking up part of my seat. I'M the one who HAS to move? Sorry, that's BS.

 

[seashoreCM]

I'm the one who has to move? Sorry, that's BS.

But otherwise a domino effect stalemate, or more correctly, perpetual check, could happen,
Suppose there is a single empty seat behind you. The larger passenger is told to move there. Someone else in that row then says, "I'm the one who has to move? Sorry, that's BS." The larger passenger is told to move yet somewhere else and there is just one empty seat there. Repeat.

Now back to the OP. Prior to booking she (or anyone else in a similar situation) should ask herself/himself, "Can I fly without continually pressing on someone else?". If the answer is no then the very next step should be to book an additional seat or a larger seat. There may be a few airlines that permit booking a second seat due to size issues without requiring an advance payment. To help answer the question posed here, some chairs together with some duct tape and some large pieces of cardboard can be set up in the kitchen or living room, etc. The seatguru.com website gives seat dimensions for a variety of airlines.

 

[hsmamato2]

Where do you think someone should draw the line?

the line needs to be drawn at taking part of another person's very small seat. that's pretty basic. OP is smart to ask ahead of time,and plan for her own needs, so that her flights go well.

 

[Starwind]

I wondered how the airlines would do that - I've never seen it done, nor have we ever tried to purchase an extra seat(s). We are both Pooh sized, but my brother is also 6'3 - so leg room is really an issue. We usually fit into the seats with the arm rests down, but it would be way more comfortable in coach if we were to have an empty seat between us! If we could guarantee getting a row with enough leg room, we might consider purchasing 3 coach seats - rather than purchase 2 first class seats. The cost is one of the reasons we haven't taken many flights in recent years. We are planning a trip to WDW at the end of Sept 2017 - but can't see what the flights will be until later this month - keeping my fingers crossed!!

Different airlines have different policies, and some countries' airlines may be regulated in what they must provide. Most require calling the airline (reservation desk or medical services desk) for accommodation or purchasing an extra seat. Some require paperwork, etc.

I have a medical issue that makes my joints very unhappy when I fly, and the cramped seats of economy aggravate the situation.

We therefore now choose to purchase "economy plus" (called different things on the airlines that offer it -- delta comfort; westjet plus; etc) fares, so we are guaranteed to have the extra leg room. it makes a big difference and is worth the extra airfare for us. I prefer to purchase the fare upfront instead of taking the chance that the upgrade-to-more-legroom option won't be available at checkin because there aren't any of the seats still available.

Since we are live in Canada, we are able to fly Westjet, with their WestJet Plus seating. On most of their planes, Plus rows are three across but have the middle row blocked (the "block" is a tray-like thing between the armrests; it does mean the armrests can't move, though for us that is ok) (on some of their planes there is no middle seat blocking, but those seats are wider). So, with my sister and I that means we get the row of 3 seats to ourselves, with one of us at the window and one at the aisle. Plus also has other benefits, like two checked bags each, priority security screening, refundable ticket, etc, which makes it worthwhile for us, above and beyond the extra space.

Delta Comfort: http://www.delta.com/content/www/en_US/traveling-with-us/onboard-experience/delta-comfort-plus.html

WestJet Plus: https://www.westjet.com/en-ca/travel-info/fares/our-fares/plus/index

I don't think WestJet is alone in blocking the middle seat for their "extra leg room" section, so doing some research may lead to other other airlines that do as well. Some do just have the extra legroom though (may have other perks, too).

SW