We've never lived in a house with an HOA. Like others, I've heard horror stories about overzealous boards and over-the-top rules. OTOH, I find it pretty funny to hear people say how horrible it is NOT to have an HOA, as if every non-HOA neighborhood is filled with year-round Christmas lights, cars up on blocks, and waist-high weeds. Um, no.
Our current neighborhood is ~50 years old, built around a golf course and probably, if it were built today, would be an HOA community. But, it's not. We don't need one--the neighbors are lovely people who take pride in their homes. Sometimes I feel like we're the oddballs--everyone else on our block has lived here 30+ years, we're the only ones with 4 kids, and we bought our house, knowing it needed some work. From the street, though, our place looks fine (driveway DOES need repair, but it's not horrible). No cars on blocks. Parking on the street is rare, typically for a specific event. Holiday decorations are tasteful and subtle (well, except for our house--we're not obnoxious, but we do like Christmas lights).
My point is, HOAs don't have to be evil. OTOH, not having them doesn't mean you're living in a trashy neighborhood. It's like anything else--you have to do your due diligence. It's tough when you move--we moved 2.5 years ago, I did a TON of research. We landed well, no regrets, but a lot of it was luck, and there was plenty that I wished I known then--mostly related to schools.
