Fitting rooms

[LuvOrlando]

We have to agree to disagree.

It woudn't bother me in the least if there was a man in a dressing room with his significant other. I don't assume all men have evin intentions nor am I paranoid that they are looking at me.

Not exactly letting it go are you?

Funny, but I don't think we are in disagreement at all for the second part. I also don't assume all men have evil intentions nor am I paranoid they are looking at me with evil intent. As long as you keep taking those shots at me I will keep responding. I have a wonderful DH and a wonderful DS so I am not going to let your digs asserting I am anti-male go unanswered. Let it go or this will go on & on.

However, I still don't want them in there with me, so I guess at least there we disagree.

 

[clutter]

We have to agree to disagree.

It woudn't bother me in the least if there was a man in a dressing room with his significant other. I don't assume all men have evin intentions nor am I paranoid that they are looking at me.

I agree with LuvOrlando that I don't care to 'be seen by' random men while trying on things that can be extremely unflattering. (I like the example of trying on swimsuits while wearing underthings. ) So I get what she's saying. I also see that her use of 'eyeballing' her 11 year old is what is confusing to WVJules. She could have used the same 'being seen by' term to get the point across.

But the reality is that just because your BF isn't a pervert doesn't mean that many women don't want him, a random male, in the fitting area with them, if it feels like it should be a woman only.

You're the one who knows he's your SO (could be a brother or your affair for all I know or care), you're the one who knows he's not looking because he's not interested (although I'm sure there are plenty of pervs that are partnered up). All I know is I want to walk over to the mirror in a weird fitting outfit to see if I can do this or that to it. I look awkward, and there's some random male there that may pop out at any moment. (of course, I could listen in to hear when that might happen, but that's kind of creepy in its own way.)

 

[OceanAnnie]

I don't care for men in a ladies dressing room.

Some places I shop have curtains instead of doors. The curtains don't meet the sides. It's kind of weird dressing in those spaces to begin with. On occasion, when the curtain is closed and I am in a state of undress, instead of women asking if anyone is in there, they'll just barge in and say, "Excuse me.", after I have been exposed. I don't care for that too much either. I'm practicing my shrieking to help break them of that habit.

 

[nmmom95]

I couldn't get my husband to go into a women's dressing room if the rest of the store were on fire! And FTR, I would feel uncomfortable with a strange man in the room.

 

[si-am]

OP, you asked how other women felt about having men in the dressing room, but you are a bit dismissive of our feelings when they differ from yours. Just because YOU are okay with it, doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

I don't think men who hang around fitting rooms are all pervy, but that doesn't mean I really want them there.

Some people are more modest than others, comfort levels differ. I think it is always appropriate to be respectful of everyone around you when out in public.

 

[Gigi22]

About 5 years ago I was about to enter a dressing room at one of the major department stores. The salesladies were in a dither because they had to call a manager to have a man escorted out of the ladies' dressing rooms. At the time, I thought this was the right thing to do, and if I spotted a gentleman in the ladies' dressing rooms, I would alert the store's personnel to have the gentleman removed. If it were a store with unisex dressing rooms (are there any?) it would not be an issue, but any store I frequent does not have unisex dressing rooms. I do go shopping with DH a lot, he is very good at helping me select clothing. For pesky zips that won't do up, I ask the saleslady to assist me--or I go out of the dressing room area to ask DH to help me. I would not put DH in a potentially embarrassing situation, such as asking him to enter the ladies' dressing rooms, where his presence might be misunderstood. JMHO.

 

[wvjules]

OP, you asked how other women felt about having men in the dressing room, but you are a bit dismissive of our feelings when they differ from yours. Just because YOU are okay with it, doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

I don't think men who hang around fitting rooms are all pervy, but that doesn't mean I really want them there.

Some people are more modest than others, comfort levels differ. I think it is always appropriate to be respectful of everyone around you when out in public.

I'm not dismissive of anyone's feelings. I stated early in the thread that didn't realize it would make others uncomfortable and said I wouldn't do it again.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

While it would not bother me to have a man in the dressing room, I think it's bizarre a grown woman can't try on clothes by herself and decide what she likes. The last time I needed someone in the fitting with me, I was maybe 10, but since then I've been able to handle it alone.

 

[SiAmCrAzY]

DH usually finds the "husband chair" to and makes himself at home. Sometime he comes in, but it really depends on the store and how it is set up. However when we are clothes shopping for him I am almost always in the the dressing room with him. How else am I going to know what "it's fine", or "yeah this works" looks like?

If in the future you are worried about offending others one compromising solution may be to shop at stores where the dressing rooms are individual and spread apart. (Buckle, Eddie B, ect)

 

[wvjules]

While it would not bother me to have a man in the dressing room, I think it's bizarre a grown woman can't try on clothes by herself and decide what she likes. The last time I needed someone in the fitting with me, I was maybe 10, but since then I've been able to handle it alone.

I am perfectly capable of trying on clothes by myself. However in that instance I neede assistance since the dresses were back zips and I stated earlier that I can not do those due to back problems.

I do decide what I like most of the time. There have been times where I"m unsure of something and will ask his opinion and take it into consideration. Afterall, he has to look at me in the clothes too.

 

[wvjules]

DH usually finds the "husband chair" to and makes himself at home. Sometime he comes in, but it really depends on the store and how it is set up. However when we are clothes shopping for him I am almost always in the the dressing room with him. How else am I going to know what "it's fine", or "yeah this works" looks like?

If in the future you are worried about offending others one compromising solution may be to shop at stores where the dressing rooms are individual and spread apart. (Buckle, Eddie B, ect)

I've learned my lesson.

 

[Sparx]

I don't understand the issue. Either he's going to be waiting outside the door, or he'll go into the fitting room with you. Either way, he's in the area. Most fitting room doors are like bathroom stalls (some even better, with complete doors that shut all the way, no upper or lower gap) I just don't understand why people would have a problem with this.

 

[golfgal]

I worked at Macy's many years ago and we did not allow men in the women's dressing rooms and vice versa--mainly because we caught people too many times doing more than trying on clothing .

 

[kathie859]

I worked at Macy's many years ago and we did not allow men in the women's dressing rooms and vice versa--mainly because we caught people too many times doing more than trying on clothing .

Golfgal...I could promise Dh the above mentioned activity and he STILL wouldn't go clothes shopping with me How do these other women get their menfolk to shop with them My DH compares it to a root canal.

To the OP's original question. I don't want a strange man, a loose kid, or whatever around when I am trying on clothes.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

It would make me very uncomfortable. I suppose part of it is the vulnerability you feel when taking off your clothes in a strange place. As others have mentioned, many stores do not have full doors, or sometimes the doors do not shut all the way, lock properly, etc. Particularly in a dressing room that does not have a full door, it would make me very uncomfortable.

The other issue for me at least, is that many dressing rooms do not have full sized mirrors, or they're so tiny you can't get the distance you need. I like being able to go to the three way mirror many have that are inside the dressing area. As others have mentioned, sometimes you are trying on something that is not flattering, or youaren't sure about. That's not a time when I want some random guy right there.

It's not the worst thing in the world, and I wouldn't say anything, but I would definitely be uncomfortable.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I don't understand the issue. Either he's going to be waiting outside the door, or he'll go into the fitting room with you. Either way, he's in the area. Most fitting room doors are like bathroom stalls (some even better, with complete doors that shut all the way, no upper or lower gap) I just don't understand why people would have a problem with this.

I totally agree 100%.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I'm not a big dressing room person myself, I'd rather skip it all together but even if there weren't any doors, or walls for that matter, I wouldn't care. It's just a human body, big deal.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This thread absolutely amazes me. If you post a thread about taking a 6 year old child into a public bathroom where the doors lock and close some people have a full on hissy fit about it. Yet there are people who think that a GROWN MAN belongs in a women's dressing room where the entire purpose is to get undressed? Really?

OP- I would have called security on you. I don't care if your DH is a pervert or not. I do not want strange men around me while I am in various states of undress. Sometimes I come out of the dressing room to look at the 3 way mirror and my bra might be showing or I might not have zippered the dress all the way or whatever and I do not want random men around. I want privacy and the knowledge that the only people that will see me is other women. I agree with LuvOrlando. I would not want my dd's in a dressing room with random men either. That doesn't mean the man's a pervert it just means he does not belong there where my child is getting dressed and undressed. I wouldn't want him in a women's locker room either. Same concept.

I also cannot imagine not being able to buy clothes without my DH sitting in the dressing room with me. I value his opinion but I walk out of the dressing room to get it if I want. There is no way on earth he would think it was remotely appropriate for him to be in there with me. He would be horrified if I even suggested it.

 

[si-am]

I don't understand the issue. Either he's going to be waiting outside the door, or he'll go into the fitting room with you. Either way, he's in the area. Most fitting room doors are like bathroom stalls (some even better, with complete doors that shut all the way, no upper or lower gap) I just don't understand why people would have a problem with this.

I guess it depends on the dressing room. At Macys and many larger stores, there is a "hallway" of dressing rooms. I don't expect to find men in that area. They should be waiting outside the hallway, in the store. If I needed to show an outfit to my husband, I'd have to walk out.

Again, sometimes it wouldn't be an issue, but let's be sensitive to us tall girls. I don't need a random man seeing my bra when the doors are short.

 

[kidzmom3]

It would make me very uncomfortable. I suppose part of it is the vulnerability you feel when taking off your clothes in a strange place.

I completely agree with this. Maybe some women are more secure in their looks and bodies than me, but I am uncomfortable to begin with trying on clothes. In this vulnerable state, it would make me very uncomfortable to have a man in the dressing room. I think it is human nature to look up when people open doors and come into a room. If my teenage daughters were in the room, I don't think you would ogle them, but you might look up! One of them recently went to her first semi. It was a tough day trying on dresses that fit a 14 year old body, but should not be worn by a 14 year old.

Since you said he goes and gets you other sizes, he would be coming and going. Not just staying in the room and entering with you once, and exiting once. Also, since it is an assumed female place, you may have a conversation with a friend regarding your "parts" and how they look in clothes. I can be frank with my girlfriends and while I hope I am not so loud as to make a spectacle of myself to everyone in the dressing room. It may be loud enough for you to hear.

Its as close to being in the doctors office without actually doing so. To me anyway. For many people, shopping is a discouraging, disheartening experience. One I don't want to share with some random man.