First trip need advice on rest room etiquette for DS

[Allison]

As for the girls, well, they aren't my kid. I put my children's needs first because as their mother that's my job.

Which is of course also the job of the parents of girls who are uncomfortable with boys in the women's restroom. They put their children's needs first because as their mother, it's their job. You must understand that it goes both ways.

 

[Dani784]

I believe she meant that when he's 13 she won't be making him accompany her to the women's bathroom.

If I read the poster's previous posts correctly, her son was molested at age 4, in a bathroom, while a relative was present but apparently not paying attention. He was able to tell people at the time because he didn't know to be ashamed.

He's now seven. And he's still got severe lasting trauma to the point where he cannot go into a men's bathroom without shaking in fear. She doesn't expect he'll be any better by nine, either.

I'm really not sure how just turning 13 will enable him to "protect himself" any more or less than he can at 9. Most 13 year olds can't kick a grown man's butt. But hopefully the therapy he's undergoing at the moment will have helped him enough by then, and he'll realize that strangers will come to his aid if he's ever in need.

That's why I suggested using the companion restroom in the interim.

Her situation is not typical or usual, and I'm not sure it really applies to this thread. MOST nine year old boys would be perfectly capable of handling themselves in a WDW washroom. They're old enough to know that if someone makes them uncomfortable in any way, they can leave and tell their mother, who is waiting outside. The odds of any harm coming to a 9 year old in a WDW bathroom is much, much less than the odds of that same family having a car accident on the drive to Disney.

There's never to my knowledge been a recorded incident of molestation in a Disney bathroom. There WAS one story about a peeper... in the women's bathroom!

Thank you for clarifying and yes, you got the gist of it. As for if my situation belongs here, consider this: my son is a typical everyday kid. Nothing particularly weak looking about him. I don't know why he got targeted but he did. He could be ANYONE'S child. ANY time could be that ONE time. Why risk it at all?

Yes MOST boys are fine on their own. MOST men are dads or uncles themselves and are not to be feared. But I'd always err on the side of caution, especially after our ordeal. And knowing what to do in that or any emergency situation and actually doing it are two different things. My son knew the touch was wrong and knew to cry out. He was scared though and his cry was not loud. Other kids have clammed up due to fear. It happens and pretending otherwise is ignorant.

 

[kj2mom]

I say do what you are comfortable with. I am almost always the only adult with my daughter and son and that wait for him to come out can seem like an eternity (did he walk out while we were still in the ladies room, did he forget where the meeting spot was, did he go out a different exit and was not able to locate the spot etc etc etc). When we went he was 5 and he came with me except once when we were in the back of HS where things closed early so I let him go alone. He was in there so long and I knew he was the only one in there that I actually went in to check on him. He needed help and from then on he had no problem going in the ladies room with me and his sister.

You are the one who has to live with your decisions, most likely you will never see the majority of those people in the bathroom ever again. Do what makes you comfortable.

 

[cruisingkat]

I never understand women feeling uncomfortable about young boys in the Ladies Restrooms. Womens Restrooms have cubicles, it's not like anyone can see anything. This is very different to mens .

The stalls (cubicles) are not completely sealed - the doors do not go to the floor and there is a little space between the door and sides. I walked into one (not at Disney ) where a younger boy- looked to be around 7- was looking under the closed stall doors while his mother was in another stall. Needless to say I walked out of that restroom. So yes, I am uncomfortable with young boys in a women's restroom.

 

[Dani784]

Dani~ please don't get yourself so upset, what happened to your son is a nightmare nobody should have to go through. You & everyone else needs to do what is right for your family, finished. It might not be right for my boys or most of whom have posted. But we have not been through what you have. I don't blame you one bit, your an awesome mom---- I can tell

Thank you. I feel I need to be done now as this is dredging up memories I had buried. It's making me angry all over again. Bottom line, every family's needs are different and each family is going to do what works best for them. And yes, I feel family style restrooms complete with child sized toilets and changing stations should be added to a park geared towards families! It would eliminate this issue altogether. As well as the issue of newly toilet trained little little kids who may be frightened of the large and loud public toilets. (I have a couple of those as well!)

 

[Granny square]

Dani~ please don't get yourself so upset, what happened to your son is a nightmare nobody should have to go through. You & everyone else needs to do what is right for your family, finished. It might not be right for my boys or most of whom have posted. But we have not been through what you have. I don't blame you one bit, your an awesome mom---- I can tell

So the moms trying to protect their daughters are what? Crappy parents? Where is their comfort and safety considered?

 

[darnheather]

I'm honestly sorry for what Dani's family has been through but the fact of the matter is children are far more likely to be assaulted by someone they know then by a stranger.

Please teach your 9 year old appropriate bathroom behavior and have him go alone. I don't escort either of my girls 12 and 7 and can't remember the last time I did.

 

[Minniesgal]

There is no way my 9 year old would come in the ladies with me he would be mortified. Much as it is scary we have to let themgo in alone

 

[ChelleFeegan]

Normally I don't comment on these posts, but I had to say something.


I go to the bathroom to go for a wee, wash my hands and get out. The way that some have posted is like you go in there for a party...

I wouldn't be fazed by a 9 year old being in the ladies. He is just doing natural business. So what if his mother is concerned for his safety. He goes in, goes into a cubicle, goes to the toilet, comes out, washes hands and leaves. The whole process takes 5 minutes...

Dani I feel for you and you have my sympathies, I know of people who have been abused and if ruins every ounce of trust.

 

[BlackMagicWoman]

The stalls (cubicles) are not completely sealed - the doors do not go to the floor and there is a little space between the door and sides. I walked into one (not at Disney ) where a younger boy- looked to be around 7- was looking under the closed stall doors while his mother was in another stall. Needless to say I walked out of that restroom. So yes, I am uncomfortable with young boys in a women's restroom.

Yeah, I had this experience too but the boy was clearly older than seven. Somewhere between 10-12 would have been my guess. It clearly made the women in the bathroom uncomfortable. I chose to wait until he left to use the bathroom. My daughter was a little freaked out.

 

[Granny square]

Normally I don't comment on these posts, but I had to say something.

I go to the bathroom to go for a wee, wash my hands and get out. The way that some have posted is like you go in there for a party...

I wouldn't be fazed by a 9 year old being in the ladies. He is just doing natural business. So what if his mother is concerned for his safety. He goes in, goes into a cubicle, goes to the toilet, comes out, washes hands and leaves. The whole process takes 5 minutes...

Dani I feel for you and you have my sympathies, I know of people who have been abused and if ruins every ounce of trust.

Do you have a young daughter? Say, 10ish? And she is fine with boys her age in there?

I could care less as an adult. I'd tell the peeking Tom child to mind his own freakin business and embarrass he and over protective mommy.

At 10, I would not have had the nerve to do so. Scream, maybe, lol.

Happy that when my daughter was 10 I can't ever remember a boy over 5 in the ladies room. 20 years from now women will be taking their husbands in the ladies room. Because the boogeyman might get them in the men's room.

 

[maxiesmom]

And if we can find and use one in a timely manner, great! Of course my son doesn't have a physical disability so there will be people who will be annoyed at that as well. But there are places outside of WDW where a family or companion restroom is not an option. If its an "I'm going to pee myself" situation, we're using the women's unless my DH is there to take him to a stall in the men's room.

Then you need to take him into the stall with you. Every other female in the womens restroom have the right to their privacy. You can fell better and everyone else can have the privacy they are entitled to if you take him into your stall. Otherwise you are just giving yourself a false feeling of safety. Not much you can do to keep your child safe if you are in a stall with your clothing undone and he is on the other side of the door.

 

[ChelleFeegan]

Do you have a young daughter? Say, 10ish? And she is fine with boys her age in there?

I could care less as an adult. I'd tell the peeking Tom child to mind his own freakin business and embarrass he and over protective mommy.

At 10, I would not have had the nerve to do so. Scream, maybe, lol.

Yes I have a daughter who is seven thanks and appreciates that every situation us different (she has disabled uncles and cousins ranging from downs to autism) she's an incredibly laid back child.

 

[Granny square]

Yes I have a daughter who is seven thanks and appreciates that every situation us different (she has disabled uncles and cousins ranging from downs to autism) she's an incredibly laid back child.

At 7. Mine had started her period by 10, and would not have been comfortable. While laid back her comfort level with her body took a big ruffle when she hit puberty. She had 3 brothers and was comfortable with bodies and boys in general. Strange boy bodies in a place where they don't belong would not have been the same.

 

[momofboyz3]

So the moms trying to protect their daughters are what? Crappy parents? Where is their comfort and safety considered?

Absolutely not! In fact I had responded to this thread many posts ago. As a mom to all boys I can only imagine the discomfort and embarrassment when a young girl is in the stall & a 9 or 10 yr old boy happens to accidentally look over. My boys have been using the men's room since age 7. Any parent that protects, stands up & looks out for their son/daughter is a good one. I was only trying to make the poster feel better. She has been through a nightmare & it was sad for me to watch her try and defend herself.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

So now we shouldn't allow 9 year olds in the middle of Typhoon Lagoon on the off chance that there may be naked European women there. Give me a break.

Okay, we're getting a bit off topic here.

Personally? I don't care. Heck, I'd like to see some beautiful topless Swedish girls myself, and I'm straight. I would certainly not stop my kids from going to Typhoon Lagoon because of the stories I've read on the Dis, nor would I stop them from drinking from the WDW water fountains. But some people do care.

Yes, it's a rare occurrence, but so is a young boy being sexually molested in a Disney men's bathroom. In fact, it seems the latter is considerably more rare, since I've never heard a story of this sort of thing happening at Disney. The point is that weird/uncomfortable stuff can happen in any bathroom, and the OP should make her own decision about what to be concerned about.

 

[tsme]

I agree with others, 9 is too old to be going into the bathroom of the opposite sex. I have a 10yr DD & she would be uncomfortable. At that age, they are aware of the differences between ladies & gentlemen & I don't think it's appropriate. On the other hand, I do understand your concern. I have a son, too. When he was little & first started going into the men's restroom, I was worried too. At stores, I would stick my leg in the men's restroom door, so I could hear if he was ok & sometimes I would call out to him to be sure. And yes I received alot of strange stares, but who cares. At Disney, they don't have doors, so I would suggest telling him to go into the nearest stall or urinal, & you stand right next to restroom opening & call out to him if you're worried. It'll be fine.

 

[Laura66]

Look - 9 year old boys have no business in the ladies room! It's called a ladies room for a reason!
I'm a victim of childhood sexual abuse and I feel for you. You need to get him some help so he can get over his fear and use the men's room on his own. If he is that traumatized at this age and you do nothing to help him will he be using the ladies room with you at 12? 14? When does it stop. I'm sure with what he's been thru - using public restrooms alone aren't his only fear.
Women of all ages deserve to care of their bathroom needs in a women's only facility. And if you're rude enough (yes I feel it's rude) to still go ahead and bring him into the women's rest room then bring him into the stall with you!

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Look - 9 year old boys have no business in the ladies room!

Unfortunately for you, your opinion isn't the law or Disney policy.

 

[maxiesmom]

Unfortunately for you, your opinion isn't the law or Disney policy.

Does Disney even have a policy on this? Do they state an age cut off where under 10 is ok but over is not?

There has to be a line somewhere.