First Piano Recital - How to Prepare Your Child?

[Janepod]

My son is 6 1/2 and started playing piano in November. He is a fine piano player, for a six-year-old. (He's no Chopin, but he can play the simple songs the instructor gives him.)

In June his instructor's pupils are having a recital. I think it's about 10 kids, most are 8-10 years old but there is one 5-year-old and at least one 7-year-old. My son has been invited to join but he says he does not want to - that he doesn't want so many people watching him. For some reason he is okay with 12 people watching, but not 13 or more. He plays hockey and tennis in front of dozens of spectators at a time and has no problem with that. Doesn't even seem to notice people watching him.

So my question for you: should I press him to do it? Or wait until next year? I don't want him to have a bad experience and have it put him off piano, but I think that performing is an important part of learning an instrument. I also think that in general children should practice performing their skills, musical or otherwise, in front of an audience.

What would you do if he were your child?

Thanks for any advice!

 

[cornflake]

I have kind of the opposite opinion about performing being an integral part of learning an instrument so perhaps I'm not the person to ask. It's music, not hockey, performing in front of people isn't necessary or even generally attached to the doing or enjoyment of it - most musicians play mostly alone. Even Itzhak Perlman spends more time playing alone than he does on stage - even now.

I think kids should learn an instrument because music is a lifelong haven, good for the brain, for learning, can be a gateway to things and yes, if they love it, can be much more. For even most of the people who play for a living, they're not necessarily up alone on a stage. My neighbour is a working musician - he plays in the pit at the Met and the like.

Hence if he doesn't want to perform, I wouldn't make him. If it was that he had some pathological fear of being in front of people, I'd work on that, in a separate setting, but it doesn't seem he does. Regardless, I'd separate it from the piano so that he doesn't associate the piano with fear. He started piano a little older so maybe he feels the other kids are more advanced then he, or he's not confident or he just doesn't want to play in front of people. I don't think it matters, as I don't think that's what music is for, personally but if you do, I'd still separate any performance anxiety from the piano playing and work on them separately, not force him into a recital his first year playing.

 

[Pigeon]

I've got a dd who is a pretty serious violinist, and I do think performance is important. But I would probably not push it at that age. I'd give him a couple of years before I made it an expectation. I would have him go to the recital though, and see the other kids perform so that he knows what to expect.

 

[TheSchragFamily]

My son is 6 1/2 and started playing piano in November. He is a fine piano player, for a six-year-old. (He's no Chopin, but he can play the simple songs the instructor gives him.)

In June his instructor's pupils are having a recital. I think it's about 10 kids, most are 8-10 years old but there is one 5-year-old and at least one 7-year-old. My son has been invited to join but he says he does not want to - that he doesn't want so many people watching him. For some reason he is okay with 12 people watching, but not 13 or more. He plays hockey and tennis in front of dozens of spectators at a time and has no problem with that. Doesn't even seem to notice people watching him.

So my question for you: should I press him to do it? Or wait until next year? I don't want him to have a bad experience and have it put him off piano, but I think that performing is an important part of learning an instrument. I also think that in general children should practice performing their skills, musical or otherwise, in front of an audience.

What would you do if he were your child?

Thanks for any advice!

My son has being doing piano recitals since he was 6. The whole idea of it is to get them used to performing for an audience. I would not force him, but I would definitely explain to him that it is just a part of playing piano, same as going to the lessons. Tell him everyone else there will be nervous as well. Tell him mistakes don't matter. Tell him it's just for fun and everyone will be supportive and you will go out for a treat afterwards. Don't put pressure on him to play his best, because he will likely be nervous and screw up a few things. They all seem to. My son has now done quite a few recitals and they do get easier. The longer he waits to do this, the harder it will be!

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

My son has being doing piano recitals since he was 6. The whole idea of it is to get them used to performing for an audience. I would not force him, but I would definitely explain to him that it is just a part of playing piano, same as going to the lessons. Tell him everyone else there will be nervous as well. Tell him mistakes don't matter. Tell him it's just for fun and everyone will be supportive and you will go out for a treat afterwards. Don't put pressure on him to play his best, because he will likely be nervous and screw up a few things. They all seem to. My son has now done quite a few recitals and they do get easier. The longer he waits to do this, the harder it will be!

Agree with it all, particularly the bolded. I had my first piano recital when I was 5. To be honest, I don't even remember it being optional! Tell him that it does get easier each time. Good luck to him!

 

[Janepod]

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I am really going to encourage (though not force) him to do it. Good point that everyone will be nervous. I'll let you know how it turns out. Thanks!