First Communion dilemma

[bananiem]

Two years ago my dd had her First Communion. It was on a Sunday at 1:00. All of our family live away so people started arriving Saturday afternoon. We had a pool party at the hotel the night before, and a brunch (16 including the 4 of us) before the ceremony. I told my ds, who had just turned 6 that that weekend was a celebration for Em and we would have a celebration for him when he has his FC. He was good as gold that whole weekend and has asked a few times how much longer until he can go up with us to Communion and have a party.
NOW- His First Communion is going to be held at 7:00 AT NIGHT ON HOLY THURSDAY!!! So I have to ask my sisters' and their dh's to take 2 vacation days to travel to his celebration. And when are we supposed to have his party? I guess my dh will also take a half day off so we can have the party in the afternoon, provided everybody gets here in time. Grrr...
Oh, I want to throw this in too:
My parents will be 82 and 85 then. Several years ago I made the decision with my siblings that my parents are not to drive the 6 hours it takes them anymore. My sisters and in-laws have worked it out with us to get Mom and Dad here a couple of times a year. My parents are deeply religious and this is the last sacrament they will see either of my kids go through. (Because of their age.)
So even without a party I would need someone to take vacation time to bring them even half way here for me to go pick them up.
To me it seems they are discouraging this as a whole family event.

SO...
1.) Is my family the only one that makes a big deal about First Communion?
2.) Does anybody else's church do it this way?
3.) Am I being unreasonable in wishing the parents had a say in this?

Thanks,
ann

 

[JAP]

First Communion is special and important to our family as well.

In our parish we do not have much say in how they schedule these events. It would be helpful if they would take input but in reality the occasion is not about the party afterward but about the sacrament.

Try to make the best of the situation. You could always plan the party for Saturday even though the communion was on Holy Thursday. You could also plan something special with you and your DS on Friday so he does not feel "cheated" in some way.

 

[minniecarousel]

It's not unusual to have the Sacraments given during Holy Week. Although, here, it's usually just the adults during that time. They also allow children to receive their FHC anytime after their "class" actually has their official ceremony. But, your son probably wants to be in the big ceremony with his friends. We have such a large parish, that we were given several different times to choose from.
I have some friends who have huge family parties for First Communion (& then again for Confirmation.) We did not. We have lots of family near-by, but it was just a simple party at the house afterward.

 

[TEENEE]

Our church always has FC on Saturday morning. We have such a big parish that Sunday is out of the question. My family makes a big deal of FC also. I agree with JAP, a special dinner on Thursday and a big bash on Saturday sounds great. Explain to your son that he can have a bigger party if he waits until your family arrives on Saturday.

Congratulations (in advance) to you and your son. This is a special time for you and your DS to bond.

 

[bananiem]

Skip this. It wouldn't let me delete this after I edited my first post.

 

[FOJMO]

I think our church has FC on Mother's Day every year. When DD made her FC, it was in Orlando, different church than here in Tampa, and we just went out for brunch after the ceremony, just the 3 of us.

We didn't expect, nor even invite, anyone from the family to come -- most live out of state.

I would just explain to your DS that the date of his FC was not within your control and, if you are going to have a party, you'll have to do it on the weekend. He needs to understand...

 

[mom2boys]

DS2 recieved his FC in June & DS1 recieved his May2002. We have a large parish with the option of a group FC on one of 3 Saturdays - 60 kids each - or individual with up to 4 kids. DS1 opted for the group setting. DS2 opted for the individual. DS2 had his name announced at Mass & was "interviewed" by our priest at the beginning of Mass - as were the other two FCs.
Do you have the option of doing your son's communion at a regular Sunday Mass? Would he want that? I let each of my boys make their own decision. Oddly enough, the social one choose the individual Mass. The one who doesn't seem overly concerned about going along with the crowd choose the group setting.

 

[bananiem]

Our priest wouldn't make it special if we did it at another date. He's just not a kid person. Well, he's not a people person at all, but that's another story! It's a small parish and the only one in the county so we have to just deal with what comes up, I guess.
If it doesn't work to have the family here my ds will understand. He's good about that stuff. But it doesn't mean he won't be disappointed. That's the part that bugs me. I never would have brought it up to him if I'd thought I'd have to take it away and disappoint him. To do it later makes it seem like it's not connected. Does that make sense?
I guess I feel bad for my kids that because we live away nobody can see their hockey games,school plays and concerts, soccer or whatever. Birthdays always get celebrated "whenever". But when it comes to religion then they're willing to come. But now I have to ask them to take vacation and for my sister to pull her boys from school for a day.
I don't know, maybe I'm not making sense. But other people are grumpy about this too around here.

 

[marymrg]

How about a small party after First Communion with cake and ice cream and then the family celebration over the weekend when more people can make it. I think if your parents could attend the Mass - that would be great. (even if they have to come a few days beforehand)

I would let your families know when First Communion is asap so that they have time to make plans. But, in all fairness, let them know that if they can't be there, then you will go with plan b and have the party on Saturday. Luckily, you have lots of time to work it all out.

 

[Jillpie]

I would not plan anything for that Holy Thursday night. If it is anything like our masses (which we really enjoy btw, we have a fantastic pastor), this mass will go to 9:00 pm, way too late to celebrate, in my opinion. Wait till Saturday..that way everyone will be refreshed and awake and will have lots of fun. Congrats to your son, such an exciting time of his life.

 

[Pin Wizard]

On Holy Thursday? I'm surprised they do it on such a solemn day. Our church has FHC the Saturday before Mother's Day. We had a choice of 8 a.m., 10 a.m., or 2 p.m. Ten was perfect for us. Sometimes you wonder what they're thinking when they schedule things.

 

[TIdoublegaER]

I, too, am surprised that they are doing this on Holy Thursday. It's too bad he can't do it another time and have it be just as special. At our parish, kids had the option of doing it as a group (after Easter) or individually. You'd think at a small parish doing it individually wouldn't be a big deal. I'd ask you son what he would like and go from there.