MScott1851
<font color=font color=royalblue>Got a link for th
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2002
- Messages
- 3,198
The next morning was bright and sunny, so when Clint rolled over and asked if I wanted to go to Blizzard Beach, I jumped at the chance. Clint is a perfect paradox...he takes two showers a day, spending at least thirty minutes in there each time. I am not sure what he is doing, he's dancing, making shampoo mohawks, singing, making disgusting noises with his wet hands, typical guy behavior. But mention a water ride or a water park, and the nose wrinkles and you would think he would melt if a drop got on him! But if he's willing, I am able! It's only 8:00am, we should be able to get there by opening, pick a prime spot, and laze the day away...I don't want our first day of vacation to be rush rush rush stressful, so this sounds perfect!
But, before we can leave the Hilton, I must face every woman's biggest demon: Her rear end in a swimsuit. Throw bad hotel lighting and a Double with Cheese from Wendy's the night before into the mix, and it's an all-out schizophrenic experience. It's like any ounce of self esteem you had goes flying out the window. Clint sits patiently on the edge of the bed wearing the one swimsuit he brought while I try on all six bikinis I brought. Twice.
"This one hides my belly. But it has weird straps. I don't want weird straps."
"It looks fine."
gruntshakecursetwistmumblegruntpulltug
"This one is the BOMB! Look how chesty I look in it! But the bottom. The little ties might make weird tan lines! Plus I don't feel covered enough. My cellulite shows up really bad in this one."
"It looks fine."
gruntpouttrytosmoothoutcelluliteshaketwistfrowngruntpulltug
"How about this one? It's sporty! I can walk around all day and not worry about jiggling or falling out, it's like an athletic one. But I won't get any sun! And I never wear racerback things. I can't wear anything strappy if I get burned wearing this!"
"It looks fine."
gruntshakesniffsuckinbellytwistgulpgruntpulltug
"Strapless. Perfect. No tan lines. But aren't those two new shirts really lowcut? Remember last year when I wore the tube top during the day and then the vee-neck at night and I had that weird tanline dickey looking thing at my neckline? White and red skin?"
"It looks fine."
gruntsobshakegrabthighsandscreamtwistgruntpulltug
"HOW IS IT THAT I CAN LOOK TWENTY POUNDS HEAVIER IN A SWIMSUIT THAT IS SPECIFICALLY MARKETED TOWARDS BIG WOMEN?!?! $#%# SLIM SUIT MY HEINIE! I LOOK LIKE A BLACK AND WHITE HIPPO!!"
"It looks fine."
Finally I settle on a swimsuit that I have had since I was in tenth grade in high school. Don't ask me why I buy two or three new swimsuits every year, and ALWAYS end up in this one. Of course, Clint smirks and said, "I knew you would wear that one. You always do." I get the wild-eyed crazy look I get just before I snap and throw things, and he quickly adds, "I would too...It makes your bottom look smaller and your top look bigger." Yeah, right, but it saves him from a karate chop to the belly. We pack the little bag for the day, aqua shoes, tickets, sunblock, fans, etc, and swing by Chick-Fil-A for breakfast.
We make it to Blizzard Beach right at 10:00, and there are probably 200 cars in the parking lot. Our tickets zoom us right on in, or should I say, Clint's ticket zooms HIM right on in. Mine keeps buzzing and that little red "X" is mocking me. And there are only a million people behind me wanting in. Next thing I know, three Disney personnel are at the turnstile, taking the ticket, turning it over, scrutinizing it, asking where I bought it, when I last used it, etc. I knew that we had three plus options left, along with a full day, so I wasn't worried, but it was still embarrassing. Finally they decided that I had de-magnetized it by carrying it in my wallet with my credit cards and they replaced it for me so I wouldn't have any further troubles.
We rent the locker, rent the towels, stow the gear, and head for the slides. Since the line isn't too long, we get in the chairlift line. All good until we step up, and the CM waves a man from the single rider line to come get on with us. I kid you not, King Kong steps up beside us. This man is huge, hairy, and frowns a lot. Clint and I look at each other in horror, and about that time, the chair gets us in the knees. Clint is in the middle, and scooches right up against me so that Monkeyboy doesn't touch him. We bolt at the top of the hill, and head over and ride Teamboat Springs. When we round the corner at the bottom, I spot HER. You know, HER. The CM with the camera. A fat girl in a swimsuit's mortal enemy. I scream, "NOOOO!!!" while covering myself and trying to crawl behind Clint. Obviously she gets this a lot, because she just rolled her eyes and looked at the next raft, moving into position to capture their semi-nudity on film. We decide to walk up the next time. So we trek up the mountain with tubes on our back. About midway up, I'm gasping for breath, lungs burning, calves cramping. We stop and let a Hispanic family pass us, and the eight year old huffs at us gringos for being so out of shape. So we trek on. It is a shame that it takes so long to get up, and such a short time to get down. After climbing the hill three times, we decide for a break and get into tubes at Cross Country Creek for a little relaxation. By now, it's almost noon, and we take stock of the situation. The weather is beautiful, not too hot, not too cool. The sun is shining, the water is the perfect temperature. Lovely day. We sit in chairs at the edge of Melt A Way Bay and agree that "Toto, I don't think we're in Memphis anymore." This becomes the day's motto. Why? Because, in two hours of walking in groups, standing in line, etc...we are the only people in the park who are actually from the continental U.S. I kid you not. It's like the rest of America forgot Disney this week, and all of Europe, Asia, and South America were there to enjoy it with us. The highlight of our day was looking at European men in little Speedos. Marveling at how comfortable with their bodies everyone was. Feeling pretty darn good about ourselves after that. And while we never heard the phrase, "Nigel, put your pants back on! This is a bloody family place!" we got to enjoy plenty of Brit humor. Especially when, unbeknowst to me, Clint had gotten in a different line for Runoff Rapids, and I absentmindedly reached my arms behind me and clasped a complete stranger up against me and hugged him tight. The guy, named Ian, was a pretty good sport about it, and his friends had a complete field day, hooting and cheering whenever they saw us again. We also had the opportunity to spot who I believe was JoeDisney in the wave pool. The reason I say this is because this man was holding an approximately 18 month old child, and the word "octopus" doesn't even BEGIN to describe it. The child was absolutely petrified of the water, and every time he would dip her near it, she would scream and attempt to climb up the man's chest to get away, literally standing on his shoulders screeching and flailing. After seeing the JoeDisney connection there and chuckling a bit, I began to get angry at the man for subjecting his child to this, and Clint had to drag me away before I got huffy and said something to him. We bought lunch at LottaWatta Lodge, $18.00 for two chili dogs. I do have this to say in Disney's defense: While the prices are high...the portions are huge and the food is quite good. I was unable to finish mine and Clint polished his off with a smile, rubbing his belly in delight. He's the kind of All-American guy who appreciates a good chilidog, so if he likes it, then it's a good one. We lounged in the sun for an hour or so, and then faced off on the Toboggan Racers. Those chili dogs did us good, because we blew away the competition! Rack one up for the big girl! I got up chanting, "We're Number One! We're Number One!" in tribute to a favorite childhood movie, "Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown." Of course, all the other people thought I was nuts and shook their heads at the "crazy Americans." We finally tired out about 2:30 or so, and headed back to the Hilton for showers.
After showering, we walked across the street to the Marketplace, because I wanted to snag a couple of the shampoo bars I had been hearing so much about. I told Clint I would be right out, since he hates to shop, especially in "girly stores." So I go in, pick out a couple of bars, and head to the cash wrap. But I hear a familiar voice, and I turn around to see Clint prancing around like Johnny Appleseed with a basket on his arm, full of soap, shampoo, bath bombs, and he's discussing the heartbreak of oily skin with a clerk, while smelling the Oatmeal Honey soap, and rubbing some of the homemade masks on his hand. Bottom line is, I went in for $11 worth of shampoo, and we came out with $84 worth of what he calls "smell good stuff." I think I have been making him watch too much Lifetime and TLC, and resolve to rent only kung fu and Jean Claude Van Damme movies for the next couple of weeks. We stroll around, taking everything in, buy a couple of Christmas ornaments, and had a religious experience eating chocolate covered strawberries. Those were the most heavenly things we have ever eaten. When we came out of the confectionery shop with them, at least five people stopped, looked longingly at us, and went inside and got some for themselves. We thought we should have gotten a free one for that! We were pretty tired and hungry by then, so we went down the road to Joe's Crab Shack for a low cost meal, and of course the famous "YaaYaa" drink.
We HAD big plans for the evening, but were so tired out from the day that we ended up staying at the hotel watching the season premieres of "Friends' and "Will and Grace." We initially felt like big losers for watching TV on vacation, but then we realized that that was what vacation was all about. Spending time together, with absolutely no plans, freedom to do whatever we pleased. That is until tomorrow: FOUR PARKS, ONE DAY.
Bring on the Mouse... I'm ready.
But, before we can leave the Hilton, I must face every woman's biggest demon: Her rear end in a swimsuit. Throw bad hotel lighting and a Double with Cheese from Wendy's the night before into the mix, and it's an all-out schizophrenic experience. It's like any ounce of self esteem you had goes flying out the window. Clint sits patiently on the edge of the bed wearing the one swimsuit he brought while I try on all six bikinis I brought. Twice.
"This one hides my belly. But it has weird straps. I don't want weird straps."
"It looks fine."
gruntshakecursetwistmumblegruntpulltug
"This one is the BOMB! Look how chesty I look in it! But the bottom. The little ties might make weird tan lines! Plus I don't feel covered enough. My cellulite shows up really bad in this one."
"It looks fine."
gruntpouttrytosmoothoutcelluliteshaketwistfrowngruntpulltug
"How about this one? It's sporty! I can walk around all day and not worry about jiggling or falling out, it's like an athletic one. But I won't get any sun! And I never wear racerback things. I can't wear anything strappy if I get burned wearing this!"
"It looks fine."
gruntshakesniffsuckinbellytwistgulpgruntpulltug
"Strapless. Perfect. No tan lines. But aren't those two new shirts really lowcut? Remember last year when I wore the tube top during the day and then the vee-neck at night and I had that weird tanline dickey looking thing at my neckline? White and red skin?"
"It looks fine."
gruntsobshakegrabthighsandscreamtwistgruntpulltug
"HOW IS IT THAT I CAN LOOK TWENTY POUNDS HEAVIER IN A SWIMSUIT THAT IS SPECIFICALLY MARKETED TOWARDS BIG WOMEN?!?! $#%# SLIM SUIT MY HEINIE! I LOOK LIKE A BLACK AND WHITE HIPPO!!"
"It looks fine."
Finally I settle on a swimsuit that I have had since I was in tenth grade in high school. Don't ask me why I buy two or three new swimsuits every year, and ALWAYS end up in this one. Of course, Clint smirks and said, "I knew you would wear that one. You always do." I get the wild-eyed crazy look I get just before I snap and throw things, and he quickly adds, "I would too...It makes your bottom look smaller and your top look bigger." Yeah, right, but it saves him from a karate chop to the belly. We pack the little bag for the day, aqua shoes, tickets, sunblock, fans, etc, and swing by Chick-Fil-A for breakfast.
We make it to Blizzard Beach right at 10:00, and there are probably 200 cars in the parking lot. Our tickets zoom us right on in, or should I say, Clint's ticket zooms HIM right on in. Mine keeps buzzing and that little red "X" is mocking me. And there are only a million people behind me wanting in. Next thing I know, three Disney personnel are at the turnstile, taking the ticket, turning it over, scrutinizing it, asking where I bought it, when I last used it, etc. I knew that we had three plus options left, along with a full day, so I wasn't worried, but it was still embarrassing. Finally they decided that I had de-magnetized it by carrying it in my wallet with my credit cards and they replaced it for me so I wouldn't have any further troubles.
We rent the locker, rent the towels, stow the gear, and head for the slides. Since the line isn't too long, we get in the chairlift line. All good until we step up, and the CM waves a man from the single rider line to come get on with us. I kid you not, King Kong steps up beside us. This man is huge, hairy, and frowns a lot. Clint and I look at each other in horror, and about that time, the chair gets us in the knees. Clint is in the middle, and scooches right up against me so that Monkeyboy doesn't touch him. We bolt at the top of the hill, and head over and ride Teamboat Springs. When we round the corner at the bottom, I spot HER. You know, HER. The CM with the camera. A fat girl in a swimsuit's mortal enemy. I scream, "NOOOO!!!" while covering myself and trying to crawl behind Clint. Obviously she gets this a lot, because she just rolled her eyes and looked at the next raft, moving into position to capture their semi-nudity on film. We decide to walk up the next time. So we trek up the mountain with tubes on our back. About midway up, I'm gasping for breath, lungs burning, calves cramping. We stop and let a Hispanic family pass us, and the eight year old huffs at us gringos for being so out of shape. So we trek on. It is a shame that it takes so long to get up, and such a short time to get down. After climbing the hill three times, we decide for a break and get into tubes at Cross Country Creek for a little relaxation. By now, it's almost noon, and we take stock of the situation. The weather is beautiful, not too hot, not too cool. The sun is shining, the water is the perfect temperature. Lovely day. We sit in chairs at the edge of Melt A Way Bay and agree that "Toto, I don't think we're in Memphis anymore." This becomes the day's motto. Why? Because, in two hours of walking in groups, standing in line, etc...we are the only people in the park who are actually from the continental U.S. I kid you not. It's like the rest of America forgot Disney this week, and all of Europe, Asia, and South America were there to enjoy it with us. The highlight of our day was looking at European men in little Speedos. Marveling at how comfortable with their bodies everyone was. Feeling pretty darn good about ourselves after that. And while we never heard the phrase, "Nigel, put your pants back on! This is a bloody family place!" we got to enjoy plenty of Brit humor. Especially when, unbeknowst to me, Clint had gotten in a different line for Runoff Rapids, and I absentmindedly reached my arms behind me and clasped a complete stranger up against me and hugged him tight. The guy, named Ian, was a pretty good sport about it, and his friends had a complete field day, hooting and cheering whenever they saw us again. We also had the opportunity to spot who I believe was JoeDisney in the wave pool. The reason I say this is because this man was holding an approximately 18 month old child, and the word "octopus" doesn't even BEGIN to describe it. The child was absolutely petrified of the water, and every time he would dip her near it, she would scream and attempt to climb up the man's chest to get away, literally standing on his shoulders screeching and flailing. After seeing the JoeDisney connection there and chuckling a bit, I began to get angry at the man for subjecting his child to this, and Clint had to drag me away before I got huffy and said something to him. We bought lunch at LottaWatta Lodge, $18.00 for two chili dogs. I do have this to say in Disney's defense: While the prices are high...the portions are huge and the food is quite good. I was unable to finish mine and Clint polished his off with a smile, rubbing his belly in delight. He's the kind of All-American guy who appreciates a good chilidog, so if he likes it, then it's a good one. We lounged in the sun for an hour or so, and then faced off on the Toboggan Racers. Those chili dogs did us good, because we blew away the competition! Rack one up for the big girl! I got up chanting, "We're Number One! We're Number One!" in tribute to a favorite childhood movie, "Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown." Of course, all the other people thought I was nuts and shook their heads at the "crazy Americans." We finally tired out about 2:30 or so, and headed back to the Hilton for showers.
After showering, we walked across the street to the Marketplace, because I wanted to snag a couple of the shampoo bars I had been hearing so much about. I told Clint I would be right out, since he hates to shop, especially in "girly stores." So I go in, pick out a couple of bars, and head to the cash wrap. But I hear a familiar voice, and I turn around to see Clint prancing around like Johnny Appleseed with a basket on his arm, full of soap, shampoo, bath bombs, and he's discussing the heartbreak of oily skin with a clerk, while smelling the Oatmeal Honey soap, and rubbing some of the homemade masks on his hand. Bottom line is, I went in for $11 worth of shampoo, and we came out with $84 worth of what he calls "smell good stuff." I think I have been making him watch too much Lifetime and TLC, and resolve to rent only kung fu and Jean Claude Van Damme movies for the next couple of weeks. We stroll around, taking everything in, buy a couple of Christmas ornaments, and had a religious experience eating chocolate covered strawberries. Those were the most heavenly things we have ever eaten. When we came out of the confectionery shop with them, at least five people stopped, looked longingly at us, and went inside and got some for themselves. We thought we should have gotten a free one for that! We were pretty tired and hungry by then, so we went down the road to Joe's Crab Shack for a low cost meal, and of course the famous "YaaYaa" drink.
We HAD big plans for the evening, but were so tired out from the day that we ended up staying at the hotel watching the season premieres of "Friends' and "Will and Grace." We initially felt like big losers for watching TV on vacation, but then we realized that that was what vacation was all about. Spending time together, with absolutely no plans, freedom to do whatever we pleased. That is until tomorrow: FOUR PARKS, ONE DAY.
Bring on the Mouse... I'm ready.
