Financial questions

[Silent1CB]

Disney is a habit, and it CAN be given up if you want to. I know that sounds absurd on this board, but it is possible if you have another goal in mind. If you really want to pay off debt or just save money into an account, its just possible that you might have to kick your habit, whether it be traveling to WDW a lot, drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling, shopping or whatever else your vice is.

It can be done, and you will survive.

 

[cm8]

Smh

 

[NeedaVacation03]

I think I'm mellowing as I get older ;-). Seriously though, I do think that this last crisis has had an effect on me. I know people who have done everything right. Saving for retirement, put 20% down on the house, had the emergency fund. But then they bought a house in 2006 and were hit by a job loss....and poof, everything changed...and they were wiped out financially, in a heart beat.

I also think that there's just a general feeling of anger in the country right now. Everyone wants to blame someone, some company, some leader. I think that's why the level of anger has gone up around here.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm definitely still in the camp that believes that you'd better have your financial ducks in a row (or a very wealthy relative) before you take 7 trips to see Mickey in one year (or one decade for that matter!), but there's no point in beating the person up when we really don't know the circumstances.

I think I've learned after reading and participating here all these years that I'm best off giving advice if I'm asked and minding my own business on the rest of it. And of course, just continuing to stick to our budget, save and live well beneath our means. When it comes to retirement savings, I think it was Ben Stein who said, "you don't need to out run the Bear, just the other campers".... I'm just trying to stay ahead of you other campers, because that Bear in the woods seems to be getting increasingly hungry ;-).

dvcgirl, so glad to read your posts. I have gained a lot of wonderful insight from you over the years. I hope to continue gaining insight over the years to come. Thanks for contributing some great words of wisdom to this thread that has become a lynching.
There are several real good posts on this thread and many selfrightous posts. I have gone through the death of child following an illness and many other personal problems over the years. The one thing that I have learned from this is that people have very different ways of dealing with the situations life throws at them. Some are stronger than others. Because I chose to deal with it " the big girl way" does not mean that someone else isnt doing the best they can within their personality. By judging from many of these posts there is no room for people who may be weaker or unable to deal with things according to the status quo of this board. After reading many of the posts, it gives me a better understanding of the bullying that kids face in schools. There is no room for people weaker or different than ourselves. It is a shame.
I hope that the OP finds the answers that helps her with her search. I certainly understand why she hasnt been back.

 

[Planogirl]

$8,000 doesn't sound like much debt to me either so maybe it is more now. You can have manageable debt and still do some travel (paying cash of course) but it could be that the OP is beyond being able to manage.

All conjecture. Really the only way to manage is to not live beyond your means except in the event of extraordinary debt such as medical bills. We've had a few medical debts but nothing like some that I've seen here. Wow!

And losing a child is just beyond anything I can imagine.

 

[mrsklamc]

I think the dead horse has been sufficiently beaten. It may be glue by now in fact.

 

[luvsJack]

Maybe it would be really nice if some people either chose to give productive advice without being so "better than thee" about it.

Obviously the op is not coming back and who could blame her; it took like 2.5 seconds for someone to say something beyond what she actually asked. It is absolutely ridiculous that no one can ask a simple question without the hound dogs out searching the internet so they can "find the problem". Guess what, most of you are not financial gurus! Many of you are a stone throws away from being in dire financial straits too!

She asked about bankruptcy vs credit counseling and too many decided to be the all knowing about her issues and why she is in the mess she is in. I don't recall her asking anyone WHY she was having issues. Most people really do know what the problem is, they just need to admit it to themselves and a bunch of judgmental folks on a message board are not the ones to get them to see it. THAT is what credit counseling will help someone do. Help them make a budget and keep up with what they are spending and see where it is all going.

So, with all that said, the correct answer would be (not according to me but according to going through these posts and finding the actual productive advice given): She needs to go to credit counseling first, if they can't help her, then consider bankruptcy. Just make sure, OP, that you are more than willing to make whatever changes your credit counselor suggest to you in making and sticking to a budget.

I cannot believe that some of you have nothing better to do than to chase someone around the internet to prove what that person's problems are!! Talk about deep seated issues in needing to be right!

 

[ShellyLynn3630]

Good luck to the OP.

 

[ricktib]

Wow - a lot of this thread has been cut out. I can understand editing out those postings of someone's personal information, but I think that discussions of personal responsibility are perfectly germane and appropriate here.

To only allow comments about 'who's gonna get me out of this hole' and none about the need to stop digging, does a real dis-service to the op and anyone reading who may be in a similar situation. Bad show, DIS.

 

[luvsJack]

But, the fact is the OP never asked for opinions of what her problems were. She apparently knew the problem. Discussions of personal responsibility can take place without discussing a poster's personal life. There should have been no judgments placed on how many vacations she took or was going to take--we didn't have enough info for all that.

 

[vicki_c]

Wow - a lot of this thread has been cut out. I can understand editing out those postings of someone's personal information, but I think that discussions of personal responsibility are perfectly germane and appropriate here.

To only allow comments about 'who's gonna get me out of this hole' and none about the need to stop digging, does a real dis-service to the op and anyone reading who may be in a similar situation. Bad show, DIS.

Posts are removed when they violate the DIS ToS. There might have been valuable information in those posts or not, but if you violate the ToS at the same time you're giving advice, that's the risk you take. I don't know which posts have been removed but I think there were a number of personal attack type posts in this thread earlier which violates the ToS.

 

[dvcgirl]

Wow - a lot of this thread has been cut out. I can understand editing out those postings of someone's personal information, but I think that discussions of personal responsibility are perfectly germane and appropriate here.

To only allow comments about 'who's gonna get me out of this hole' and none about the need to stop digging, does a real dis-service to the op and anyone reading who may be in a similar situation. Bad show, DIS.

I think that half of the thread was cut out because the OP got attacked, and then others tried to stand up for the OP...only to get into it with those who originally attacked the OP. So all of that personal back and forth will just get cut out. The OP posted just a few times and then completely stopped responding. Who can blame her?

I think that the tone of these kinds of threads are getting nastier. I agree with you that it should be okay to advise someone...."first thing, stop all unnecessary spending."....and then move onto constructive advice to actually help the person. I would say that the majority of regular posters on the Budget Board are all for personal responsibility.

But then another 15 posts after that by different people berating the person for taking multiple trips to WDW gets to be too much. Some of the posters even went on to say that people like the OP are the reason that our economy ended up in such a mess. I mean, we might as well have blamed her for causing the volcanic eruption in Iceland. It got to be way too much.

 

[hlkeck]

For me, the worst part of reading all the attacks, is that no one knows how she takes the disney trips. Maybe her job sends her and pays for the trips because Orlando has a ton of seminars and meetings. Maybe her grandparents like to take her to disney and it doesn't cost her any money.

I'm all for rolliing my eyes when someone is stressed about their debt but takes more vacations than I could ever take - but unless I know exactly whether or not they are paying for those trips - I certainly can't judge.

Good luck to OP.

 

[JB2K]

Wow - a lot of this thread has been cut out. I can understand editing out those postings of someone's personal information, but I think that discussions of personal responsibility are perfectly germane and appropriate here.

To only allow comments about 'who's gonna get me out of this hole' and none about the need to stop digging, does a real dis-service to the op and anyone reading who may be in a similar situation. Bad show, DIS.

For the record, I was one of the ones who got "censored" by the DIS (among other things).

I am aware of the post that was in question, but it appears anything I have contributed to this thread has been subsequently removed (not counting today's post, I think I contributed about 3 or so posts to this thread).

Without going into a lot of details, I basically told the webmaster, that answers to the original post cannot be sugar-coated, as they often tend to be on these boards.

Sometimes, the truth can sting.

Enough said.

 

[Dorisk3]

For me, the worst part of reading all the attacks, is that no one knows how she takes the disney trips. Maybe her job sends her and pays for the trips because Orlando has a ton of seminars and meetings. Maybe her grandparents like to take her to disney and it doesn't cost her any money.

I'm all for rolliing my eyes when someone is stressed about their debt but takes more vacations than I could ever take - but unless I know exactly whether or not they are paying for those trips - I certainly can't judge.

Good luck to OP.

I think she wouldn't be asking the original questions if these were "gift trips" and a job that pays what was quoted is not paying to send anyone to Disneyworld for seminars.

As these threads pop up from time to time on the budget boards, as Shakespeare says, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It is awful that the OP is in financial trouble, no doubt about that, but how much of a part did she play in it? I am always shocked that people ask for bankruptcy advice and leave their signatures with their many trips and upcoming trips for anyone to see. Their is sympathy and there is enabling.

 

[Hubbs]

Unfortunately people on here have been very critical of the OP, but few have offered any real advice. I think it is also unfortunate that many of the posters that have been critical and after beating up the OP say that it was only "tough love" like that can excuse their insensitive behavior.

 

[Planogirl]

Tough love is good in theory but I bet that the OP and many others don't even hear the advice but only the attacks.

I suggest sitting down and really going over your budget. Write down all of your expenses and keep a log for a few days to see what's really being spent. Then consider not spending any more for a while except for necessities. Make up a budget and stick to it. Write it all down and refer to it often.

As for trips, scale back at least? Or set a goal and plan for a big trip afterward as a reward.

 

[tnmt]

I am tired of bailing people out that just blow money like there is no tomorrow. Sure, I bet these were gifts or her job sent her . She got herself in this mess now she needs to work hard and get herself out, not filing bankruptcy. That is what is wrong with people today! I know someone that knew they were going to file bankruptcy and went out and charged every card they had to the max and it all got discharged but yet he kept EVERYTHING that he charged up on the cards. He even charged what he owed on a couple of vehicles but he still got to keep them. Yep, now working people are paying off his debts now. Now, off my soapbox for now.

 

[Carl Fredricksen]

11 more posts and not one word of advice, we just keep going over the "judgement" thing.

Regardless of which side you come down on for how she got there (which we really still don't know), I had a dialog with the OP via PM, and (without giving out more info than needed) she has contacted a reputable credit counseling service to help work herself out of the hole.

Kudos to her for doing the right thing and taking the first steps to getting this straightened out, so she can enjoy WDW without regret in the future.

 

[Planogirl]

11 more posts and not one word of advice, we just keep going over the "judgement" thing.

Regardless of which side you come down on for how she got there (which we really still don't know), I had a dialog with the OP via PM, and (without giving out more info than needed) she has contacted a reputable credit counseling service to help work herself out of the hole.

Kudos to her for doing the right thing and taking the first steps to getting this straightened out, so she can enjoy WDW without regret in the future.

I'm not judging the OP and don't intend to. You seem to be seeing things that aren't there.

 

[Carl Fredricksen]

I'm not judging the OP and don't intend to. You seem to be seeing things that aren't there.

I didn't say you were judging, just that we are still beating the OT horse instead of offering some advice on how to rectify. Sorry if it sounded like I was accusing you, only pointing out that the last 11 posts offered very little to help her out of her situation.

Anyway, she is getting good advice so hopefully it will all work out for her.