Glad you are getting back to your normal wierd fibro self

All the antidepressents I took made me feel bugs under my skin!
I think you are approaching the crossroads I reached after my first two years when I noticed was allegic to Dr's


I now only see mine every 6months unless I think I'm truely dying or have an infection. It has been more than 14 years since I went more than that and it has made a big diffence in my illness.
I would like to suggest what helped me get to the real acceptance of what this disease ment in my life. Until I changed my way of thinking my life was a constant rollercoaster.
1. For now give up on drs or drugs fixing or even really helping you. they cant. Hopefully the new virus studies will mean a cure but until they find the source of our illness they just can help us. Hope for a cure but stop looking for one right now. It is a waste of your mental energy. Going to the Drs all the time is a waste of your personal energy dollars not to mention real money.
2. Another waste of mental energy is worrying that our symptoms are heart reatlated, lung related, cancer ( I was afraid tender spots were cancer for years) , a stroke whatever. I found great releif when I could let go of the fear that I had something else. I have fibro and it mimics all sorts of things. When I was sure that I had had enough tests after 2 years I stopped testing and even when I had the skip in my heart for 9 months I did the tests and joked the whole time with my Drs that I would not worry it was the fibro and guess what? It was. Letting go is a risk. risk of an undiagnosed stroke or heart attack but the reality is most likely the Drs would wait to long to really help because they would assume it was a panic attack even though I have never had one. I chose life which means assuming everthing is Fibro until I know for sure other wise. Before that I lived my life in constant fear.
3. I visualize my pain draining out of my body though my and feet. kind of like electricity seeks the fastest way to the ground. My pain is an electricity of sorts constanty leaving my body. I thought that everytime I was aware of the pain for years until it just became a running program in the back of my mind. Try to find a image that lets you beleive the pain is leaving your body instead of attacking it. I also try to do sound meditaion whenever I can. I like guided imagry with sound but breathing to Gregorian chants, ocean sounds, rain storm sound whatever comes to your mind when you think of relaxing will help.
These things take a long time to master when you are in real pain. It was really a year or more before they worked as well as they do know. But I can take them with me wherever I go and they dont cost a thing. For me Fibro is like labor. I have to ride the bad wave to get to the quiet times. I iknow you have been working on shifting your thoughts for awhile. Maybe this is a pivital moment for you.
Here is a site I just found that might help.
http://www.howtocopewithpain.org/
As always tink you are in my thoughts
