Fellow homeschoolers ......question for you

[npmommie]

How do you handle family that expresses their disagreement with homeschooling? I don't have too many people that openly say anything but on occasion my mom will voice her displeasure.
she lives 400 miles away so this is always over the telephone.
Last night I was talking to her, and then she drops the bomb........" so when are you putting the kids in school?"
me......." I am not"
her......"never?"
me......"thats the plan unless something changes"

her......."well how are they going to function in the world with you having them so tied up ?" " they are never away from you"

ummmm first of all i dont TIE UP my kids!!!!! don't know where that came from.

So of course I feel defensive, but I was proud of myself , last night I didn't go into full defensive mode touting their accomplisments, I just said well I am sorry you don't like it, but it's the way we want to do things.
so how do you all handle this if it happens to you? What bothers me the most is the disrespect I feel, I mean sure if someone doesn't agree with homeschooling, fine, but these are our kids, we can raise them how we feel is best. and i feel like i am being disrespected by someone who belittles our choice.

 

[hddanis]

You don't tie yours up????? Either you're doing something wrong or I am!

Seriously, don't let her get to you. My mom was the same way for the first couple of years. Now that she's seen how well the kids are doing, she's backed off quite a bit. Not completely, but enough.

 

[bumbershoot]

People have such odd ideas about what homeschooling is all about. And what school is all about, too. My friends have both been bothered by my plans b/c they feel I won't let DS out at all, and also that he won't get enough knowledge. What do they think I'm going to do, just sit there and stare at him?

My friends long ago stopped talking to me about it (I've known my plans since well before I got married and had DS, and DS is only 3 right now), though my stepmom likes to talk about preschool and how vital it is (of course her first two kids didn't go to preschool, and I'm not sure that her 3rd kid did either, LOL).

And my very educated, school-enjoying, younger brother never said anything to me about my plans, but last year he found out that one of his co-workers homeschools, and after meeting the kids he was amazed because they were, you know, normal. And smart. And could interact with adults. So now he's totally "fine" with my plans to homeschool my kid(s).


Anyway, back to your question...your friend probably has the term "socialization" in her head, and if you feel like talking to her about the difference between socializing (talking with peers) and socialization (learning to interact in society) go for it, but in my experience, peoples' ears are closed to that the first, oh, 20 times it's mentioned. Unless you're willing to be 1/20, I'd just let it slide.

 

[disney_family_1247]

I know what you mean! I was avoiding telling my mom that we were going to homeschool, and then my oldest spilled the beans (she was four at the time). Her grandmother asked her if she was excited about starting Kindergarten, and she replied, "My mom is going to teach me at home." That lead to an awkward conversation . My mom was scrambling for reasons not to homeschool, and came up with the idea that if we did it, our kids would grow up racist!!! We live in the south; one of the reasons I don't want them in school is because they would be surrounded by racists! I should know, I went to school and taught public school in the same district.

That was three years ago, and the negative comments have slowed way down. My 2nd grader is smart and outgoing, so there's really nothing to complain about. Of course, my son will be starting K next school year. He is extremely shy, so I'm sure I'll get comments about that.

You have to be strong and make your own decisions. It sure does make you feel like garbage sometimes to feel like it's you against your family, though

 

[gallafamily]

I just want to say that if you really believe in homeschooling, stick with it & don't worry about what people say. Unfortunetly, I let people (like my mother) convince me that I should stick my oldest son in school. I highly regret my decision, but I now have to work full time, & can't go back to homeschooling. I got alot of complaints about him not being socialized, but I tried everything to find groups in my area that were other homeschoolers to have play dates & social events. None of them were interested. They were all just getting together as parents and socializing & leaving the kids at home with babysitters.

Anyways, I think you have made a great decision & I hope someday more people will understand this decision (& see what a great thing it is!)

 

[momto2girls]

I guess it just depends on the relationship you have with the family member. Personally, I would say firmly but politely, "You made the choices that you felt were best when you raised your children and now I'm doing the same for mine. End of discussion."

I know that some members of my family have some reservations about homeschooling, but they know better than to argue with me about it. I will answer polite questions about it, but I will not sit around and argue and defend my choices. They know that it isn't up for discussion.

 

[Creekermom]

As someone once told me when there was something else my MIL/FIL were opposed to (breastfeeding) I started to say, "I have to do what is BEST for our family" I say it today too, with regards to HS.

Here is something to brighten your day and give you some ammunition if you need it.

Home Where They Belong" video on You Tube. Don't be scared. It's not only family-safe, it's totally encouraging. It will remind you of what makes all of the work of homeschooling worth it! Feel free to share the link with all of your homeschooling friends and rate our video there.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s18yj57iwU

JUST AWESOME!
___________________


Here is something else:

Anyway, it made me laugh, because maybe someone out there has
experienced just about every one of these questions/comments/insinuations.



The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List
There are predictable reactions when people find out we homeschool our
kids. So, when I ran across this rant in Secular Homeschooling Magazine , I
had to laugh…hard…and share it with you all. Consider yourself warned. We
homeschoolers can be a scrappy bunch.
1. Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's
insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we
admit it?
2. Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the
one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now.
Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means
having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly.
If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go
outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you
can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3. Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir
practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H
club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to
socialize.
4. Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the
same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5. If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either
on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6. Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know,
know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling.
You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running
up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every
ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7. We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're
in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil
fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of
homeschooling.
8. Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9. Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for
religious reasons.
10. We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of
options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to
annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the
specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being
homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational
decisions.
11. Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my
credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully
cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my
children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of
chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left
me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the
basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a
reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12. If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can
possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're
calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13. Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in
"homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the
amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the
off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays
when it's crowded and icky.
14. Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in
homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day,
just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education —
and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of
material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons
to the lowest common denominator.
15. Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid
might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry
was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get
to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be
bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16. Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't
mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep
now and then.
17. Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some
kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days,
I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18. If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're
allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't,
thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than
your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19. Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well
as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around
academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20. Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet,
boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because
he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be
as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of
anything but childhood.
21. Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's
homeschooled.
22. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool
my kids.
23. Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my
kids.
24. Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get
because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about
all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25. Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling,
shut up! (although I like to say BE QUIET!)

________



I got this from another board I am on and it made such sense I HAD to share it!

On being a SAHM and Homeschool

I often hear the same thing from people that they would like to homeschool but they - don't know enough to teach it- don't think they could stand to be home- on and on.

While I do think parents have the right to do what they want, I have NEVER heard one reason that actually centered on the child. I just am not convinced it is ever in a childs best interest. If you feel as a public schooled parent you don't know enough that seems a compelling argument to me to want MORE for your kids. Why sentence them to a rotten education also?

The "I could never stay home" is even worse. That is just an excuse to me. Homeschooling does not mean you are chained to your child and your home. That is just silly. You can still have a very active life beyond the schooling aspect. That is really just a statement of selfishness to me. You just don't want to be responsible for your own child. I get tired of people whose "nerves " just won't take it. Funny they can take the stress of a boss, but not their own kids. it just does not add up to me.

I know one of you said your mom stayed home and regrets it. I am sorry that is the case but I think that is a problem with societys view of what a SAHM should be. She should have had some other things she did to bring her a feeling of worth. A job for mom and public school for the kids is not the solution. being active in your community would have provided the same thing.

My mom was the same way. She was a SAHM until I was 11. I was shipped off to public school daily though and she stayed home cleaning house. How much can that fill a day when the kids are never home to mess anything up? She was bored and miserable. She should have been active in the community during that time and then she would have been happy when she was home. She didn't need a job, she needed a LIFE.

It is the same with homeschooling moms. If all you EVER do is schhol and housework you are going to burn out in a few years. That may be all you do when all of yours are in diapers, but as they grow you need to grow too. We were made to keep learning and changing our whole lives. If you never think of anything but homeschooling what will you do when the kids are all graduated? I think that is the biggest problem I see with women who give out and then send the kids off to school and run to get a job. They lost themselves in the schooling.

You are still YOU when you are a homeschooling mom. You need to keep your love of life and your own personal interests alive. That is one reason I encourage women to teach their children to be self learners. That gives you time to read, paint, sew, do pottery,take online classes, what-ever it is that lights your fire! If you must sit during every mark that is made on paper you will get bored and frustrated. That yellow bus will begin to look good to you. You will lose the greatest opportunity of your life- to teach your children, and they will lose the greatest opportunity of theirs- to learn from the person who loves them most in all the world.

So I really don't mean to critcize those who don't homeschool but to encourage those who do so they will not drop the dream.

And as far as working- several of the woman here do work part time. They still manage to homeschool! I think that shows so much commitment to their kids! Gold stars to each of you!!!!!!!!!

________________


Re: do your family support you?
This is my response:
Well, I have outwardly stated that I homeschool Madison, I had to sugar coat it at first for the inlaws and say well.. only till she starts school but there is NO WAY she is going to public or private school. PERIOD.
DH was supportive at first only till she was school age...
I enjoy being with her and dont' want anyone else teaching or raising her period.
I did have a conversation with DH back in the fall 06' when someone from church mentioned how she was so quick to learn her memory bible verses... I said to DH see that is because I homeschool her....
he replied for now... I didn't talk to him at all he knew I was upset... when it was time for bed, we kissed and he said I love you and I said I love you and he asked me what was wrong...
I told him I couldn't talk about it as he knew it was my hearts desire and it would make me cry... he and I started talking and the truth came out that he was afraid of repercussions with his mom and dad...
I told him that it didn't matter as I have done what I wanted to do all along, whether or not someone thought it was acceptable or not.
Now that the truth is out I am ready to tackle what comes my way.
I think once his family is accepting then it will be easier.
I reminded him that I nursed till Madison was 2 .... and co-slept till she was 3... and I will continue to do what is best for ME and MY family.
_____________________________

I just enrolled Madison in her 3rd semester of a Co-op enrichment group that starts 2/25/08 and we will meet from 9-2:30 on Mondays for 8 wks.
She will have classes (PE, Character building/Values , Spanish K/1, My Body (science) in a group setting and it will be FUN! That is in addition to what ever else we do here at home and in addition to Dance for 1 1/2 hrs on Tues. and church Weds nights plus any field trips or social functions that we do.

The great thing is all the parents who have children in Co-op are the teachers and they also homeschool!

I am planting my feet (roots) deep into homeschooling.
I just tested her free for Horizon's math on Alpha and Omega curric website and she scored high on the 1st grade Math... keep in mind DD just turned 5 December 3rd.

I might add that as long as you and your spouse are on the same page that is all that matters!

We don't need to send our kids to school for them to lose all self esteem,respect for their parents, be made fun of, or be bullied. I can go on and on but I think you know what I am talking about.

I have a grown son, who will be 19 and who was never homeschooled... let me tell you something if I may. He was in honors classes, played 4 yrs of HS Varsity soccer and on Sr. Night he quit! He was tired of all the 'crap' that school had forced upon him. It is society's acceptance of this mentality that drives good kids to give up.

I can already see the difference in my 2 only's as they are 14 yrs apart.
My DD will NEVER go to 'school' outside of the home unless it is a cottage /homeschool environment.

They are YOUR CHILDREN and you know them best. Do what you need to do for YOUR FAMILY.

Sometimes people get bent out of shape if you go against the norm... but the norm isn't always what is best for everyone.
____________________________
This was on a board I am on I just have to share!

We homeschool because...

#1
We don't want any of our children to fall through the cracks in any subject.
I know that I can do a better job than our children could get locally.
Our state is something like 46th out of 50 in education!
We know our children better than anyone else.
I am willing to do anything it takes for as long as it takes to make sure my children are well educated.
I love having my children around.
Statistics prove that home education gives children a better education.
Statistics prove that home educated children have higher scores than their non home educated peers.

Lately...

I don't worry about school shootings at home!
My children can't be sexually molested by a teacher!
They are not forced into sex education classes.
They are not taught things that our family morally objects to.
They are not taught things that our family spiritually objects to.
They learn more than just academics; they learn life skills too.

#2
I also enjoy being around my children, seeing the fruit of my labor, building a relationship to last a lifetime with my children on a different level. I guess since I have 2 only's as Zach and Madison are 14 yrs apart I don't want to send her off for someone else to take care of or sit in a seat all day and be afraid to move or be ready to move on in a certain subject and have to wait for others to 'catch' up... I like the freedom that homeschool/home educating gives me as a parent.

I can go on an on!


#3
I homeschool for many reasons. For years I thought it would be due to the reasons first listed on here. But due to circumstances I sent my kids off to public school because I thought I had no choice (single mom have to work). My kids attended for 2 years. My oldest has adhd, anxiety disorder and a slow processing speed. Basically finishing grade 2 he could barely do grade 1 work, but they refused to hold him back because "it would hurt his self esteem" like feeling stupid was helping him. His anxiety was through the roof, panic attacks at the mere mention of school, wetting his pants, hit ritalin up to 25 mg a day just to barely function. Now home he is almost caught up to grade level, anxiety is under control down to 10 mg a day of ritalin and for the first time making friends.

DD Spent every day in Grade one in detention, a couple of suspensions, because she was bored and wanted to learn at her own pace the things that interested her. IQ tested at 122, ped feels it was a low score for her because her adhd prevented her from focusing. Technically in grade 2 this year, doing grade 3/4 work and loving it. no meds needed, can learn things she wants not that is forced on her.

DS#2 and new baby will never step foot inside a school if I can help it. I do not want them to go through what my other 2 have. I took us from the end of last June until this January to reignite the love of learning. They thought of it as a chore and punishment to learn something new, now they beg to learn things, read atlas's and encyclopedia's, write stories and plays and basically just be kids again! After seeing the difference between public school and homeschooling I am wishing I had found a way sooner to bring them home.

#4
We homeschool because we want to remain the biggest influence in our daughters life. We want to control what information she gets and when. We want to be able to insure her safety as much as we can. We want to protect her from negative influences and predators. We want to enjoy every minute we can with her. We want to keep her on track academically. We want to keep her from peer pressure and influence. I could go on and on.
__________________



Sorry to go on and on.

If YOU have any questions feel free to PM me.

**This is not to say that those who's children go to PS or Priv schools are less than by any means** This is just an attempt to help someone do what is best for their family and no one knows better than the parent of that child.

 

[_queenie_]

I don't homeschool my kids, but I've had that conversation before in a nutshell.

When I first had my DS, he would always cry and wouldn't stop unless I came. All he ever wanted to do was be around me. My mother kept complaining "Well he's just testing you. If you go in there when he cries you're only making the situation worse.". What if there was something really wrong with him? I didn't want to be neglectful of my son.

Then there's my mother-in-law. When my DS was a baby all she ever did was ask why we didn't start going to church every sunday (and I'm not even catholic). Then once he started school it was why we weren't enrolling him in catholic school, and the simple answer was that my DH went, hated it and didn't want to force our kid there (he went, his mother went, and her mother went to this same school, i guess she wanted him to make it so four generations went). Then when my DD13 was 4 all she ever wanted to do was sing, dance and perform (the sterotypical four-year-old girl). I guess my brother in-law has had that ambition his whole life and his mother has gone to every length to make that come true. One day back then I made the simple comment to her "Oh she loves singing, she knows every single word to all the songs from Annie. Who knows, maybe she'll be on Broadway someday.". I don't know if she thought she was trying to take over his "thing", but what did she say back, "Or she could wind up being a ditch-digger someday".

Just little things like that throughout the years that have driven us crazy!

 

[minkydog]

We homeschooled over a period of 12 years. Believe me, we heard it all. I decided that the best response was to let the evidence speak for itself. Their grades are/were passable; DS21 is working as a manager and DD14 is an A/B student in high school.My kids are musically gifted, easy to get along with, compassionate, well-mannered, and feel comfortable with people of all ages. They are respectful of others and take wonderful care of their younger brother, who is severely mentally handicapped. Anyone who knows them would agree that they are homeschool successes.

 

[npmommie]

Thanks so much for all the input, I appreciate it!
My hubby and I are very committed to homeschooling, he supports me completely on it........I am happy with myself for not going into defense mode last night. which I sometimes do!
My mom is a very bossy controlling type person, I know she means well, but she thinks everything should be the way she says, she has always been that way. It probably drives her nuts that she has no control over this. But like someone else said I just let my kids speak for them selves, the example people see is the answer!

 

[bumbershoot]

Creekermom I love those lists and essays. Love.


disney_family_1247, for what it's worth, in real life I am extremely shy, and it only got worse as school progressed. In HS I ended every day with huge blotches all over my chest, neck, and face, from the social anxiety I was overwhelmed with by the last class. School was beyond exhausting. I should have been homeschooled, it would have made me more confident in my strengths, instead of ending every day with obvious signs of my weaknesses all over my upper body.

Turns out my mom had heard of homeschooling but didn't feel she could do it. She moved cross-country during HS and then back, and during that long year she lost all confidence and barely graduated. Felt stupid almost all her life b/c of that. Didn't feel smart enough to school me. And she was a single mom working for our sustenance, so didn't know WHEN she could have done so.

On the other hand my brother LOVED school and thrived...he's a person that would have done fine either way.


My point is...now you have an acquaintance was shy by nature, as well as because of (and exacerbated by) her experiences in school.

 

[Momvic5]

Creekermom I also loved the lists. It made me chuckle.

npmommie My biggest skeptic was my mom too. Homschooling was just foreign to her, and it made her nervous. Now we are into our second year, and my children are excelling and doing wonderful. My mom is now one of my biggest encouragers. Others will see the evidence with time.

 

[dvcbnd]

Hi! My DH and I have just decided that as of Sept '08 we're going to hs our 2 youngest. We're very excited about our decision. They will be going into 4th grade and 2nd grade. I'm soooo glad to have found out about this thread, another thread on the DIS led me here. Anyway, I'm already getting opposition from my mother, she lives downstairs from us and tries to be controlling. I'm sure that she is also worried about what other family members will think, as her family is very judgemental. She thinks the whole idea of hs'ing is crazy and is very upset about our decision. Our children are currently in a private catholic school. We have been in the school for 10 yrs now, since our oldest started pre-k. He will be moving on to a catholic all boys high school in Sept. We've decided it would be good for him right now and if he's not happy, we can hs him also. I have always had a calling to hs since he was young, but the timing just wasn't right. Due to financial circumstances and getting tired of all the homework, punish assignments, etc that what going to a school brings, now the time has come. I have found this thread EXTREMELY helpful and want to thank everyone. I know that I will be coming back for more support and looking forward to it!

 

[earthfaries]

This is a great thread

What I get most around here is "But they NEED socialization!"

These days in school, "Socialization" is exactly what I'm trying to avoid

They make it seem like the kids have no friends and are hermits or something!

Anyway, I haven't read all the responses on this thread yet, but I'm working on it.

It's really amazing what people have to say about us homeschooling! It's me that feels like saying, " You send your kids to public school"​

 

[jcc0621]

Hi all, I am not a homeschooler, but would love to be able to be in the financial situtaion to be able to allow DH (he is a teaher) to homeschool. Iwas reading this thread and thought OMG, all of these people are going through the exact opposite of what I am going through. DS is 4 and has been in daycare since he was 4 months old. From the day I got pregnant my MIL kept asking me when I was going to stop working. When I told her that I was taking my 12 weeks maternity leave (wound up being 16 weeks) I thought her head was going to explode

So, to the OP, my advice is stick to your guns

 

[disneymom3]

jcc--that is SUCH an excellent point! No matter what choices we make as parents, it seems that someone will always find fault with it.

In the fall I was seriously struggling with DDs attitude. She was just not being a nice girl. Now, she is 11 so it's not like this was any really huge surprise but it was upsettting anyway. I wrote my sisters an email and just said I needed some mom type advice. What I was looking for was basically "Don't worry, it will all blow over, you are doing great as a mom and she is normal." I got that from three of them. Another one wrote who is definitely against homeschooling and said that she hoped she didn't offend me but she was sure it was it because I homeschooled. I wrote back and told her #1 If I was offended by every negative comment people made to me about homeschooling, I would have given up long ago and #2 I was SO happy for her that her girls had never put her through any challenging times since they went to public school. Oh, if you only knew her youngest DD! Still at the age of 25 she is a pain in the behind!!

I agree that people will mellow out about it. You don't have to prove to anyone that it is okay for you to do this. It IS okay and you have to do what you feel is the right thing for you and your family.

That said, I do like the list above. It makes me chuckle. I especially like the one about socialization. A few years ago during the summer between K and 1st for my middle one, we were at the park. I was pushing the youngest one on the swing and the middle guy was playing with another little boy. They were racing their bikes and playing on the equipment, etc. I went over to the mom and introduced myself and she commented that when she asked DS where he went to school, he said we homeschooled. Before that however she had said that he was such a nice little boy and so friendly and that her son was often so shy that it was nice that my DS just sort of took the lead and got him to play. Then after the comment about DS saying he was homeschooled, she says, "Don't you worry about socialization?" I was dumbfounded. She just got done telling me what a nice friendly little boy he was. HELLO!? I just looked at her, I am sure rather blankly and said, "No. I'm not."

 

[dis-happy]

Really, the proof is in the pudding.

Our oldest is now in her freshman year of college....admitted as a homeschooler to a very good school. My mom now believes homeschooling is the most wonderful thing we could have done for our children. This is the same woman who once said to me re. homeschooling: "why are you ruining my grandchildren?"

She also offered to pay private school tuition on more than one occasion. Guess what? All the other students my dd is in college with from our city (around 30 or them) went to one private school or another (and one or two went to the public magnet school). Ha! She is at the same college, doing quite well, and we didn't have to spend over $150,000 in tuition to get there. It makes me smile to think about it.

Anyway, hold the course, know your reasons for homeschooling, and try not to let it escalate into a major family fight. In the end you and your children will be shining.

 

[NHWX]

Been there, done that!

We told my family because we're close to them physically. I haven't told any of them though that after giving the public high school a semester's worth of try, ds14 is coming back home. Personally, I'll know we'll have bumps in the road but it will be so, so worth it. I know my Mom isn't really going to understand but we're just going to have to mention the gym teacher (screaming nut who didn't care when he fell off the top of the bleachers, etc.), the drug deals at lunch, the drunken students, the disgusting lunches (30g of fat a day), the food fights, the good teachers constrained by the hierarchy, the puking in the hall students, the stealing and so on. And this is in a high school that's considered good!

I'm sure she'll worry about "getting into college." But if he stayed there, he would have never gotten to college.

We did convince my parents that hs'ing for grade school was a good idea by taking them to an statewide awards ceremony where our children, and many public school students were lauded for being excellent students. Mind you, last year, the student who took the highest honors was homeschooled along with his three brothers!

Really, it comes down to this: what is the best you can do? That answer changes over time. If homeschooling is the best now, then try to make it happen. In the end, if you have a happy, emotionally whole child, does it really matter whether they drive a dump truck or work in an office? Making yourself and others miserable so that someone can have lots of "stuff" isn't my goal.

NHWX

 

[AuroraBeauty]

I'm so glad I found this link.

DD(5) is in a foreign language immersion program after being at home with me full time. We did a lot of 'homeschooling'. She knew how to read at 18 months and started playing violin at 2. My days were full with stuff.

The school is a nightmare. Every bad habit a child can learn she has learned -- hitting, kicking, eye rolling, rudeness in general. To which DH said, what else do you expect for a 5 year old to learn from other 5 year olds. He's right!

OK, DD is doing great with the language but we'll be taking her out in a few weeks. DH says the school is more like Lord of the Flies. I can't tell you how many times I have admonished the children in her class for kicking, hitting, punching, running with scissors, pushing, taking toys, etc. Where are the teacher? Right there, doing nothing.

I offered to make a list of 5 rules for the classroom. Teacher said, great. So I did and emailed a list of 10 or so from which to choose -- never heard back from her. And now a teacher has been fired b/c parents complained she was too too strict -- she actually wanted the students to speak the language and be respectful.

So, homeschooling here we come!

We've told DD that she gets to graduate Kinder early b/c she's done such a great job being diligent and learning everything she was required. She is sooooo excited!!!! She already has a lists of things she wants to learn when she's at home with me. I'm so relieved!

I still wonder if I'll do it right and can I do it. I know I can do it -- I have 2 undergrad degrees, a masters and a juris doctorate (yep, I'm a lawyer well was until I became a professional mom).

I know I can figure out the material. I love math and science and history and all kinds of things. And I know them well enough to get DD thru elementary school. But the confidence is where I lack.

Does anyone know if I can buy some somewhere online? (hahaha)

Thanks for listening and thank you for all your wonderful posts. My MIL think's we're crazy but thankfully DH ignores her and tells her 'too bad'.

I'm a Homeschooling Mom!!! I love how that sounds.

Again, I appreciate all the encouragement and suggestions made from those of you who have experience to share.

 

[npmommie]

j
A few years ago during the summer between K and 1st for my middle one, we were at the park. I was pushing the youngest one on the swing and the middle guy was playing with another little boy. They were racing their bikes and playing on the equipment, etc. I went over to the mom and introduced myself and she commented that when she asked DS where he went to school, he said we homeschooled. Before that however she had said that he was such a nice little boy and so friendly and that her son was often so shy that it was nice that my DS just sort of took the lead and got him to play. Then after the comment about DS saying he was homeschooled, she says, "Don't you worry about socialization?" I was dumbfounded. She just got done telling me what a nice friendly little boy he was. HELLO!? I just looked at her, I am sure rather blankly and said, "No. I'm not."

LOL, this same exact thing happened a couple weeks ago at gymnastics. I chat with a couple other moms each week while we wait during the practice, and one of the moms is a teacher, somehow homeschooling came up. she said to me......" I didn't know you homeschooled!! wow don't you worry about socialization?"
I just pointed into the gym where we could see her dd and my dd and the entire class smiling laughing and having fun!!! I was floored!
then she says, "well yeah i see her each week and she is a very nice little girl she gets along well with my dd........BUT don't you worry about socialization?"
I just had to stop talking to her at that point because i was so stunned by it I couldn't believe it!!!!!!! LOL