Feeling odd about recent decision *Update Page 7*

[smylie1]

Dax,

Im so sorry this happened to you.

In all honesty, what happened to you is the very reason so many people cheat the system.....they have to. The legitimate people can't get the assistance they need so they lie to get the assistance. Sometimes.....I honestly can't blame them.

It astounds me that they won't require some kind of birth control for anyone under 23 and popping out babies left and right.

I have a nephew who just turned 20 on the 4th of July. His 19 y/o gf had a baby on August 30th last year......they had another on May 18th this year. Do the math on that one - 8 and a half months apart!

I simply cannot understand why the government wont step in on people like that and FORCE them to get fixed or use that 5 year birth control that goes under your skin...can't remember the name of it....

They automatically got accepted for ALL of the aid. My nephew does work...makes about $9.75 an hour. She doesn't work, has no car, has the oldest baby with her and the new one is in Vanderbilt University Medical Center for another 6 months to a year due to severe complications and being born early (the mother is a Lortab junkie).

WHY oh WHY can't they drug test people who get state aid?? Because those same people would just let their kids suffer and do without - thats why. It gripes me. I am a firm believer in using state aid if needed, but I don't agree with allowing them to have babies whenever they want.

That goes back to the education thing. This 19 y/o mother was raised in an alcoholic family and taken away from her own parents as a child because she was neglected. My nephew was one of the kids who raised himself because his dad and step mom worked 2 jobs each.....

Dax.....don't give up. Check out Angel Food Ministries and local food banks such as Mid-Cumberland if they have one in your area.

Living on Ramen for a week is NOT healthy and can lead to severe health problems down the road from poor nutriion. I know you had no choice....which is why it frustrates me so bad that you couldn't get the assistance you need.

I completely agree with everything you said! I too have a nephew in a very similar situation.

I will be praying for you Dax!

 

[mamilovesdisney]

My heart and prayers go out to you. It is very difficult at these times to focus on the positive but that is really all you can do. Focus on the fact that you do have your family and your health. I know that in the heat of the moment it does not make things better. It is a blessing that you were able to pay your rent. I know it does not feel like it. Go to the food banks and get food for your family. You are doing your best and no one can ask for more from you.

 

[goofy5]

so sorry to hear this. It is sad that things are this bad. Have you tried food pantries? My stepdad had been out of work since Dec 2008 he is on his last weeks of unemployment. he has applied EVERYWHERE for a job. He has not had one call. He is a great employee and his companymerged and his job was one of those cut. He's 57 and I think because of his age finding work is going to be hard for him. Before this recent job loss , his company he worked for for 30 yrs went out of business bankrupt and they didn't get all what was owed no retirement nothing.
So, it's bad everywhere and it's sad.

 

[kinntj]

I'm so sorry you were denied.

It's hard out there for many. You are not alone.

Try your local food pantry or call your county health department. They may have information on where you could go for what you need.

I remember our family growing up was pretty poor at times and my mom had to get pretty creative to make food stretch.

 

[momma_mouse]

Definately check out Angel Food Ministries. You can get a huge box of food for $25. You can also add on other boxes (extra meat, produce, etc) for another $20-25. Angel food is for the poor. middle or wealthy class. The more boxes that host site sells the more they are able to give away. I'm sure there is a host site somewhere near you. With it just being you and your DH that $25 box of food would really really help you out a lot. Good luck with everything. I've been in the same spot as you, but I had an 18 month old DD at the time. Thank goodness my MIL had us over for dinner almost everynight or I don't know what we would have done. I didn't know about Angel Food then.

 

[Kay1]

I agree with all the posters suggestiing pantries. My neighbor pretty much runs a local food pantry. If you just go to one they can tell you their rules and limitations as well as guide you to other pantries, kitchens and shelters that can provide you with a daily meal.

Has anyone mentioned Hillbilly Housewife? That is one helpful site. Very educational.

 

[momof1princess]

Well I had my "interview" today...which in of itself was a disaster. I was supposed to call between 10a-12p TODAY. So I begin calling at about 10:15a, as I was busy with something else. I get the typical "all agents busy" message, so I prepare for a long hold time. Just as soon as I get the message and I assume about to enter queue, it hangs up. This is then REPEATED over and over again until noon. I finally call back in at 12:10, only to FINALLY be put on hold for over an hour in a silent queue, with the occasional "all agents busy"

When I got a human, they basically went over my application. She told me unless I was pregnant, disabled or over 65, nothing is avail to me for medical. WoW..amazing.

Then she told me that my DH and I make TOO MUCH for foodstamps. I had to laugh. They take the amount he get BEFORE taxes and benefits come out...which I think is wrong. She told me that I can re-apply when my unemployement runs out..of course by then...I wont be able to afford my rent to store the food I would be getting.

I am just sick about the whole thing. After my rent was paid this past week, I had less than $50 in my bank account to survive on...but I am not in need..

OK, off to go have a good cry somewhere...I feel so defeated.

i am so, so sorry but i'm not really surprised. the same thing happened to my mother when i was a child. i was about 11 when my mom was laid off from her electrician job at a steel mill for 9 months. she was denied for any kind of state help (a single mom with TWO young children and a pittance in child support), yet there were cadillacs and all other types of nice, new cars pulling up at the curb of the food stamp office with other people getting out to get their monthly checks. i don't think i've ever felt so low as i did when we pulled away from that place in our old clunker, and i know my mom was really upset, but we managed to get through it and you will too. please don't be discouraged-you're not the one at fault, it's the system that is broken.

 

[Chicago526]

If you live in an urban area, try calling 211, it links you to your local United Way and they can help you navigate through whatever programs you may qualify for, and/or direct you to private charities and foods banks that would be more than willing to help you.


And don't be ashamed or embarrased., I know when I donate to my local food pantries, you are exactly the type of person I imagine. A hard working, honest person that just hit a rough patch and needs a bit of help while getting things turned around, someone that doesn't qualify for state aid but can't quite make ends meet, either. Once you're back on your feet, you can "pay it forward" and donate what you can to the same charities that helped you, if that helps ease your mind about it.

 

[carmie3377]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's sad when tax-paying citizens can not get the help that others who aren't receive. I see it each and every day and it makes me angry. DH, who works in a large county hospital, over hears people all the time on how to abuse the system. Some of those receiving help eat out all the time, shopping at Macy's, ect. I used to live next door to one of the people. Her husband worked "under the table" and not paying taxes. And she was always encouraging me to get aid. I told her that if I couldn't feed myself or children, then I would get aid. When she was moving out of state, she had a new job lined up with benefits. But she said she was visiting the medicaid office before starting.

Also had a co-worker pregnant same time I was. Between her and her husband, they made over $90,000 but she was on WIC. Said all her friends were too that they just lied about income. Like me neighbor, she encouraged my to do the same. We made a 1/3 what her and her husband did (my DH was a med student at the time) but I told her that I didn't need help. If I did though, I would have sought help. But why take away from those that do need it.

These 2 people were just a sample of the many that abuse the system and take aid away from people like you that need the help.

Something needs to be done fast!

• People should have to be (or had been) a tax paying citizen to receive benefits.
  
• After having 2 kids on welfare, you should have to have long term birth control (heck, permanent!)
  
• People should have to have drug screening to qualify. We have to have it for jobs, why shouldn't they?
  
  

Again, sorry. Hopefully food banks will be able to help you

 

[A Mickeyfan]

In Florida you are only allowed $2000 in liquid assets and you have to meet certain income limits. So your home or car is not counted at this time (or so I was told). We applied with five children but did not qualify because we own a little bit of stock and have more than $2000 in our savings, checking, 401k and IRA. So depending on what you have you may or may not qualify.

We were told to come back after we completely drain our 401ks and savings. Then they would reconsider.

As others have posted, try food pantries or some churches that may be helping those in need. Some FL cities will also help with one month of utilites but only if you have received your final notice before disconnection. Angel Food Ministries is a program worth looking into as well. United Way and Salvation Army tend to have food pantries and other programs to help those make ends meet. There are programs and people able to help you but it may take some digging to find them. Most are not advertising out in the open so don't be ashamed to ask around about things. Most of the best advice I have gotten have come from the people here on the DIS. There are a LOT of people in this situation and I think that most are waiting almost too long before they ask for help. Things will get better again someday....Good luck to you!

the $2000 is a bit of a joke too.. because a family with a home & a car can have $2000 in their checking account one day then the next its gone once you pay all your bills. That is what I do not get. People put their paychecks into their checking account to pay bills then have to report that it is in there . I know I am a family of 5 and would qualify income wise but don't due to assests... and our checking account is one of the assests... Maybe I should just not pay my bills by check.. hoard my money in my dresser and purchase money orders to pay bills.. it isn't worth it to me.. beside, I have a lot that my uncle gave me in Ocala that was worth about 45K 2 years ago..now worth about $1,500.00 and I am sure that alone with $500.00 in my checking would still stop me from getting them.

by the way.. I am in SW FL Cape Coral to be exact...

 

[A Mickeyfan]

It seems the lower-middle income working class cannot afford to live anymore. You have to be desperate and have nothing to get help. We cannot even get financial aid for my DD for college.. and that blows our minds. My DD was telling me that she knows many that get it & their parents are making over $100K a year.. family of 4!! WE are no where near that & a family of 5.. and don't qualify.. In fact, my DD is the only one she knows that is not getting financial aid.. I have come to the conclusion, they are lying on their app's to get it.. only way possible.. and sorry, I value my freedom too much to get caught doing that. So we pay and pay for her to go.. She has gone 3 years so far.. 93 credits from the community college. Just gradutated with her AA & AS. She started the local University and that is hurting us.. of which they just raised tuition 15% and yes, we still don't qualify for financial aid..

 

[WeLuvDiznee]

I'm so sorry Dax. I know there are several food banks in our area ( yours and mine) that will give you food as needed. Also,I believe the Pet Shelters have pet food for your animals. If I were I were you, I would apply again in a month, but put your name only on the app. since your the only one not working. I know I will get alot of "hate" on this one, but, since I worked in Food Stamps before, I've told plenty of families to do this. The Food Stamp dept. is alloted so much $$ each year, and if it's not used, it's wasted.You might as well get it. If you want , PM me.If you need anything,like I said before, PM me! Good Luck!

 

[Dax]

I'm so sorry Dax. I know there are several food banks in our area ( yours and mine) that will give you food as needed. Also,I believe the Pet Shelters have pet food for your animals. If I were I were you, I would apply again in a month, but put your name only on the app. since your the only one not working. I know I will get alot of "hate" on this one, but, since I worked in Food Stamps before, I've told plenty of families to do this. The Food Stamp dept. is alloted so much $$ each year, and if it's not used, it's wasted.You might as well get it. If you want , PM me.If you need anything,like I said before, PM me! Good Luck!

Yeah when I applied, I put I was married...and therefore had to include DH's in the app. So what, do I apply and say I am not married..or seperated? I mean at this point, this is where it is going.

As for pantries..I did look into one that was local, and lets just say we walked away with nothing. Most of the food was very ethnic(spanish fare) since that is what is in this area. Neither DH nor I eat that, so we politely declined. I have gotten some things from friends though, so we are OK for now.

I was feeling VERY depressed yesterday. I am feeling like a failure in my life right now, and I think it all hit me at once. I ended up very sick, with a migraine, and I cried my eyes out for hours. I am a bit better today, and hope I have turned the corner on that front.

I thank everyone here on the DIS who have sent me PM's with encouragement, and also have posted here with prayers. It means a lot that a group of internet strangers can be so supportive.

 

[dahrjo]

I don't get the system either. It works so unfairly.

 

[HM]

For now, you'll have to look at cutting your expenses.
Cut your air way up...to like 82 (it will still be way better than outside), unplug anything that you aren't using every day, cover your windows up to keep heat of the sun out, etc.

Look for other places to cut back. Cancel anything you pay for that is a luxury....internet, cell phones (unless you'll be penalized) or landline (keep one), cable, magazines (ask for refund), etc.

Contact churches about help as suggested by others. (I noticed your post about the ethnic foods....you really should become more adventurous in these times, you might find you actually like them. Also, I'd think if they were catering to the latino population they'd at least have rice, beans and beef. You can make many non-ethnic casseroles and dishes with those items.)

Take any job you can get at this point. Even a parttime job at mininum will help you out, and since you don't have kids you don't have to worry about daycare. Keep applying to your career jobs while doing this other work.

Sell whatever you no longer use....to a pawn shop or on craigslist.


Good luck. I'm praying for you.

 

[dclfun]

Florida is one of the WORST places to live if you're an adult and need any kind of assistance. Everything though, goes to children. Just to vent along, my son is 22 now ( almost 23) and went into renal failure at age 20. Because he's over 18 he cannot get any medical help other than the Medicare he gets because he worked when he was a teen and thus qualified for it. He's being denied a kidney transplant because he has no insurance since Medicare stops the day you get a transplant and he has to be able to prove he can pay for the post-transplant meds. He's way to sick to work right now, so he has no insurance from work, thus no "proof" of being able to pay for meds. Meanwhile someone under 18 whose parents make up to 75K a year can get nearly free health insurance. Nothing for adults- we can just lay down and die. Same with any kind of assistance- unless you are popping out children that you can't support, there is nothing. If you are a disabled adult, there is nothing, however if you were "developmentally disabled" meaning you were disabled before age 18, then you can get up to 50K a year for support to live at home. If you're an adult who became disabled after age 18, you can just lay down and die. It makes no sense to deny support and assistance to adults who have worked and paid taxes yet give freely and abundantly to those who have not or only to children. It's flaunted in our faces. The people that used to get AFDC and were cut off have merely now claimed that their child is "disabled", coaching them to do poorly in school so that our tax dollars can now give them SSI for each child, which then qualifies them for rental assistance, food stamps, and Medicaid. Where's the justice? Dax- I hope you can find some help somewhere. Heck, go to the newspaper! You are the face of many.---Kathy

 

[Kay1]

Florida is one of the WORST places to live if you're an adult and need any kind of assistance. Everything though, goes to children. Just to vent along, my son is 22 now ( almost 23) and went into renal failure at age 20. Because he's over 18 he cannot get any medical help other than the Medicare he gets because he worked when he was a teen and thus qualified for it. He's being denied a kidney transplant because he has no insurance since Medicare stops the day you get a transplant and he has to be able to prove he can pay for the post-transplant meds. He's way to sick to work right now, so he has no insurance from work, thus no "proof" of being able to pay for meds. Meanwhile someone under 18 whose parents make up to 75K a year can get nearly free health insurance. Nothing for adults- we can just lay down and die. Same with any kind of assistance- unless you are popping out children that you can't support, there is nothing. If you are a disabled adult, there is nothing, however if you were "developmentally disabled" meaning you were disabled before age 18, then you can get up to 50K a year for support to live at home. If you're an adult who became disabled after age 18, you can just lay down and die. It makes no sense to deny support and assistance to adults who have worked and paid taxes yet give freely and abundantly to those who have not or only to children. It's flaunted in our faces. The people that used to get AFDC and were cut off have merely now claimed that their child is "disabled", coaching them to do poorly in school so that our tax dollars can now give them SSI for each child, which then qualifies them for rental assistance, food stamps, and Medicaid. Where's the justice? Dax- I hope you can find some help somewhere. Heck, go to the newspaper! You are the face of many.---Kathy

Why did you move here, then?

 

[Chicago526]

As for pantries..I did look into one that was local, and lets just say we walked away with nothing. Most of the food was very ethnic(spanish fare) since that is what is in this area. Neither DH nor I eat that, so we politely declined. I have gotten some things from friends though, so we are OK for now.

I'm a picky eater too, so I get it. But they should have some basic staples that you can still use. Tortillas for example can be used lots of ways, and as another poster said, rice and beans can also be made into lots of things. Most hispanic foods aren't spicey, in fact they can be down right bland at times (so you can add your own seasoning to taste) so if that's what you're worried about, don't be.

Do any of your friends have a Costco or Sam's Club membership? They sell staples like rice in bulk for way cheap, I think a gigantic bag of rice was $9 or something. I know they have flour and sugar too, you can do you own baking for pennies. I make my own pancakes and can do a quadruple batch for about $2 worth of ingrediants, biscuts are easy too and can turn a can of soup into a meal.

 

[englishteacha]

Here in our little town we have a food pantry. Many people in our community are in the same situation you are in. Once rent is paid, insurance and other bills are taken care of, there is very little left. A food pantry can help by providing you with some staple items. Our food pantry doesn't have anything fancy, but canned veggies, soups, cereal, etc. do help!

The summer camp where I volunteer is helping to sponsor a food bank. The buying power of the food bank is amazing...$1 will buy 12 cans of food. Many people who receive their services volunteer to help there. They don't want a handout. They need help to feed their families and they donate their time in exchange. Please look into such places in your area. No one should be hungry.

 

[ccgirl]

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you Dax. I am so mad right now!!! I think it is people like you who should really have the assistance, yet, others really know how to abuse the system. My SIL just quit her job and somehow got unemployment. Yes, she quit not got laid off. Now she jokes that she is making more money now that when she was working.

I volunteer at my local panty. No proof is needed for those that come to pick up food (other than proof of residency). Is there a local food shelter near you that you can use? No food stamps needed either. They just give you the food based on the size of your family.

I really hope your situation improves. I will keep you in my thoughts.