Feeling guilty

[AustinTink]

We just found out some friends will be coming to WDW during our vacation. They just decided spur of the moment to go, while we have been planning for 6 months. Now, I'm feeling guilty because I don't want to "share" my vacation with them. This is our time to relax and just be a family. What to do? HELP!

 

[PinkRhombus]

My opinion.....and this is just me...but when you have groups of people together who are not usually together, and they merge together for more than just an afternoon, it gets pretty sticky. One family may have different situations (children's ages, frequent bathroom visits, no breakfast, late breakfast, etc) and schedules (early risers/late risers) and one group is always waiting on the others or vice versa. Things take much longer. People get irritated.

Meet for dinner or something a few days in...and then maybe spend that one evening together.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

This happened to us once. We were excited, but only planned one meeting. We did an evening in MK and then watched SpectroMagic together. It was a lot of fun but neither of us wanted to redo our schedules nor expected the other family to do that.

 

[MegaDisney]

Agree with the others. Why don't you just make plans to meet a couple of times for either some park time or a meal? I definately would advise against something open like, Let's meet at the Magic Kingdom and go from there. That could be a mess. I would just plan one or 2 SPECIFIC activities and leave it at that.

 

[HeatherC]

If they ask where your staying, just tell them the wrong resort! Only kidding!

We've been through this before several times. I've learned to just come right out and say "it's our family vacation so we are looking forward to getting away by ourselves". But...let me get your cell phone number and maybe we can meet up one night for dinner.

That way if you feel like meeting them, just call them and make a spur of the moment plan. That way it is not hanging over you the whole trip.

Good luck.... I feel your pain!

 

[AustinTink]

If they ask where your staying, just tell them the wrong resort! Only kidding!

LOL

Thanks for all the responses. I'm going to take all the advice and just plan on a meet up for dinner or a parade. Surely they don't want to spend their whole trip with us either.

 

[star sweeper]

I agree with others. We met a co-worker of DH's while visiting. We did dinner and fireworks, which is nice to spend time together without compromising your and their touring plans.

 

[mnasmom3]

One of my favorite WDW trips was when we had friends join us for 4 of our 7 days. We had rooms just a few down from each other and did everything sun up to sun down as a family. We all had a great time and got along well, BUT....this is my very best friend and our families are close, kids the same ages, same interests, etc. I think you'd have to really know and be comfortable as well as be willing to be flexible with your vacation time for it to work. If you don't want to spend your trip with them, I'd just plan on as if they weren't going to be there. When they bring up the trip and planning, I'd go with what others have mentioned and tell them you're already mapped out and excited to spend this quality family time together but you'd love to have a dinner together one night. Good luck!

 

[WDWjen]

I totally get it!
Our last trip my cousin and his wife were going to be there the same time (we have 3 little kids, they don't have any) and I expected the worst, but it was great! We met up in epcot one night and had "drinks around the world" as the kids visted the Kidcot stations. It was perfect. And then one other day we met up and rode Everest a few times ( my husband doesnt like rides, so I finally had someone to go with LOL!) But there was no pressure to meet the whole trip.

Just stand your ground and only do what works for your family and it will all work out! No need to feel guilt on your vacation (especially disney vacation!)

 

[ilandrazdsw]

It's your trip. They are going on their trip. both families happen to be going to WDW at the same time. I wouldn't change a thing. If they mention getting together before you head out you could offer meeting up for dinner one night if they can get ARDs with you (or if you all eat CS) or meet up for dessert and fireworks.

 

[Binnie]

I'm so with you. I'd be really peeved if my neighbors invaded my family vacation. We did take a weekend away with a set of neighbors last year (not the WDW)--HUGE MISTAKE. I worked my a$$ off to take care of everyone, and I was so upset to have wasted all that time and money to be even more upset afterward than I was before the vacation!

I swore never again unless we did as other posters have suggested, and limited the time together. (And I'm still skpetical about that!)

 

[susykt4]

My very much needed family vacation (last week) was unexpectedly invaded by the rest of my family! My parents, both brothers and their families decided well after we booked that they'd ALL come at the same time and stay at the same resort. My dad even requested we all have rooms close to one another. I was totally bummed because my sis-in-law (with three kids under age 5) and I (kids ages 8 and 6) have completely opposite styles of park touring. I'm a commando, get to the park at opening with a plan person and she's a sleep in, get to the park whenever and wander around aimlessly person.

It ended up working out really well. We went to the same parks on the same days, but went at different times. My kids were able to go on all the big coasters, etc., but were also able to spend time with their younger cousins. We ate two lunches and one dinner together, but that was pretty much it. My dad and I are both early risers so we spent our early mornings together drinking coffee in the food court. I think everyone had a wonderful time and got to go at their own speed. Try not to stress too much

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

We are in the same boat. I have friends who live about 1.5 hours from Orlando so they always ask us to go to Disney and meet up with them. Now don't get me wrong - they are very nice and all that but I always "plan" my days out and don't want others tagging along. Having said that, I think tht the next time we go, I will suggest to just meet for dinner at our resort.

 

[snowman1035]

We planned a trip when my husband came home from overseas with his parents. Then they thought we should invite his sister and her boyfriend, so ok we did! We own a timeshare so it was no problem to have everyone there, the problem came when we went shopping for food. The sister didn't pay for anything! Ok, not a big deal. Then came the parks, whatever they wanted to do is what we did! Then when we got home, she told everyone that her parents paid for everything for us! I was outraged! My in laws might of paid for a meal, but that was all they did and that was for everyone. So now when we go to Disney it is us and that is it. I hate to be that way, but after that trip I told DH it would never happen again. He totally agreed! Best of luck to you, but I would not let them ruin your trip. I would do what you and your family wants to do. I do agree that you should have a lunch or dinner together.

 

[mom2meiko]

call me selfish but my vacation is my vacation and i will not be guilted into doing anything that my immediate family is not interested in doing. we have some people we travel really well with - we all follow the "everyone is on vacation and plans can change, you can do what you want with or without everyone else and it's all good" mentality. we are all free to say "come with us" or "we are going to do this, see you later" as we wish. it works out really well..

that being said, i also love to be with people so i would definitely want to have a chance to meet up at least once for a meal. i wouldn't try and tour the parks though - it can be disasterous.

 

[nessz79]

My opinion.....and this is just me...but when you have groups of people together who are not usually together, and they merge together for more than just an afternoon, it gets pretty sticky. One family may have different situations (children's ages, frequent bathroom visits, no breakfast, late breakfast, etc) and schedules (early risers/late risers) and one group is always waiting on the others or vice versa. Things take much longer. People get irritated.

Meet for dinner or something a few days in...and then maybe spend that one evening together.

 

[LVSWL]

We have had both ends of the spectrum with this. We have traveled with close friends and had awesome trips. We have known that friends were going to be in the "world" when we were and met for ice cream or rides and had a great time. We have also been very uncomfortable when friends have "shadowed" us each day for 7 days. I believe that you need to politely say before the trip what your feelings are about getting together, just so the other party doe not have unrealistic expectations that you have to deal with for every day of your vacation.

 

[NaplesRI]

Interesting topic- I agree that it is difficult if not impossible to meld like that and would have no desire to do so.

Our trip in March is all family- DH and me (the grandparents), DS and DDIL, and DD(single Mom) with grandson age 6.

It's been 18 yrs since DD and DS have been to Disney.
It will be first trip for DIL and grandson.

DD spoils DGS to the degree he can be difficult- it could be a challenging trip as we want our DIL to enjoy HER first Disney experience as much as DGS does.... if it gets challenging, we may suggest that DS and DDIL just go off on their own for the afternoon and we meet up later.

We'll stick with our DD & DGS.
Wish us luck

 

[AustinTink]

I'm really getting great feedback from all your responses. Now, if i can just be firm with my friend and stick to all our plans, I'll be set. I'm kind of a pushover.