Feeling guilty - Adult only trip

[Tigge50447]

I have a 5 year old son who I took to disney last december with my folks. A 1st time for all of them. It was fantastic. I am now going again and am not sure how to tell my little guy where I'm going. Should I tell him we are just going on a trip to orlando. Should I try to explain to him that just adults are going this time. He loved it and I'm sure it would crush him to know I was going and he wasn't. What do you tell your young children when you go to disney without them.


Thanks

 

[The Sorrentino's]

Why isn't he going along with you? I can't really see going to WDW without my kids. I thought it was a family type place or do I have more to learn?

Cadence

 

[LoveWDW]

Since you know he would like it, would it be possible to take him, too? That you are wondering about it makes me think you would be happier with him. They are little for so short a time. Having said that, I know how valuable adult only time is. Perhaps a different trip for just the adults? Since the child would be disappointed? and you don't want to lie to him, after all.

I hope I didn't step out of line in my suggestions and cause offense. If I did I apologize.

 

[Tigge50447]

The thing is he liked disney but hated the rides/ fireworks. I figured this would be a good trip to go on all the rides since I wasn't able to last time. This will not be the last trip I take for sure. I just wanted to know if I should tell him we are going and try to explain to him it's an adult only trip this time or just not even mention disney and just tell him we are going to orlando.

I know lots of people go w/o kids. I also don't know if it helps to know that I'm a single mom and don't get away often.

 

[bigsis1970]

Andrea - Hi another single mom here and getting ready for my first trip with my kids (dd 11 and ds 8) we did just go all together 7/2 to 7/8 but I am having a mid life crisis and need to get out of town when my Ex gets remarried Oct 1st(another long story) I will not feel guilty cause they are doing something fun with daddy so it will all work out.
is it his normal routine to be gone anyway while you will be gone ? I guess my point is if he doesn't have to know where you are going then fine - I might just tell him that yea you need a grown up weekend (I do tell my kids that and they are big now so they get it ) best of luck with your decision. Michelle

 

[rgribik]

Hi, Mom of 5 here, and my dh and I just planned a get away weekend to Dis to recharge. We have gone 3 times without the kids, and although I do feel guilty and miss them, we need some time to ride and eat big people food. (we honeymooned in Dis so it is special to be alone there) When the kids were little we just told them we had a trip that mommy and daddy needed to take and gave them a calendar showing when we leave and a big star on the day we got back. If you don't make a big deal about where you are going your child won't. You don't have to lie(if that is a big issue with you), but over information is not needed. My kids didn't want me to go, but they love staying with Grammy and Poppy, so the perks outwayed the problems for them. I say go and have fun!

 

[Tigge50447]

Thanks for a minute I thought I was going to get flamed for even thinking of leaving my son at home. He will be with my parents whom I live upstairs from so his normal routine will be the same. His father is not involved so doesn't have visits with him and sometimes I feel like I just need to get away. I am excited about the trip. I just don't want to seem like a bad parent by not taking him this time. I love disney and plan on going several times again with him when he's a bit older and will enjoy the rides and things. He's a little sensitive to sound and lights so I dont think he was really ready when we went in december.

 

[gopack]

My husband and I have been to Disney one time without our kids. We did not tell our children where we were going. I think my children would have been devastated to know we were there and they weren't. I don't think your son needs to know where you will be. I don't make a habit of lying, but this is one time where the truth would be too painful. By the way, we had a great time, but decided to take subsequent adult-only trips to places that didn't have us thinking of the children every minute. We only go away by ourselves about once a year for 2-3 nights.

 

[bigsis1970]

I have a feeling you are a wonderful parent and his grandparents will spoil him rotten while you are gone.. so have fun.. I believe that if you don't recharge every now and then you can't be your best as a parent.. Michelle

 

[Tamie]

My husband and I always go on adult only trips, I think that every parent deserves this, it is called self-preservation. Going to disney alone is not a bad thing, moms and dads need their own time too. I was a single mom for awhile and it is hard, not that it is easy with two, but it is hard and you need time for yourself. I love my 2 children dearly but even now one is 16 and the other is 8 and DH and I still take our own weekends and I go away by myself too.

Just explain that you are going away for a weekend and that you will be back on such and such a date. Maybe you could bring him something home (maybe not Disney related, but a little something so that he knows you were thinking of him).

Go and have fun, dont feel guilty. You are allowed to miss him but that just makes seeing him when you get back more special.

 

[Tigge50447]

Thanks everyone I think I am just going to tell him I'm going on a trip. I am excited and I'm sure he will be busy with his Bema and papa

 

[8 Ears]

Good for you for going without them! We took our 2 DS on THE cruise for our 15th. Started planning anohter one, booked and all for just the 2 of us for June. Nope, canceled it and all 4 of us are heading back to WDW.
We just could not leave them home. It really hit us when our oldest said "In 5 years I graduate"! WHAT?? that is not possible, let's see... born in 1991, going into 8th grade, OMG he is right. We will have plenty of time for our trips when they are gone

 

[minkydog]

There is nothing wrong with going to WDW and NOT taking your son. Nothing at all. You don't need to share the details unless you want to. My DH & I took an adults-only trip to WDW this past winter and we had such a great time BY OURSELVES. We did tell the kids (18,12, &10) who were mildly disappointed, but they know the next trip is for the whole family(Nov 05). We made a point to doing all the things the kids would not enjoy--like hanging out at GF listening to the Big Band music and going to the spa. No need to feel guilty. If you don't take care of your adult needs, you won't have enough to give to your children. i realize that everyone is different and some families do everything together. But in my experience, i function better when I have some down time periodically. Then I really can come back refreshed and rejuvenated to enjoy my children all over again. Have a great time!

 

[HeatherPage]

My son is 3 1/2 and I couldn't go to WDW without him (I've been plenty of times before he was born though). I'd just assume leave my husband at home before not going with my son but that's just me. (Of course, husband and I are arguing today so the above scenario is probably influenced by that). But at the age my son is now, I still couldn't see going without him. If you can handle it though and don't think you'll be wracked with guilt the entire time, by all means go - and I probably wouldn't tell him where I was going either, I don't think at that age they would understand how you could be going to Disney without him.

 

[SqueakyMouse]

Dh and I leave tomorrow for the WL...WITHOUT our 3 children. I guess we're cruel, because we told the kids exactly where we will be. In fact, we've all been teasing each other about it. Of course, it helps that we all went to WDW for 10 days at the end of May; AND the kids know that they will be returning in Oct for 8 days. The only one who might end up being a little upset about not going to the "Magic Kingdom" (what she calls all of WDW) is our 2.5 yo dd. Since she will be spending the long weekend with her grandparents (which she LOVES doing!!), I don't feel guilty at all. Dh and I go to WDW 2-3 times a year without the kids. We go other places, too. For years, we didn't. Now, after having 3 children (including one increasingly/typically difficult teenager), we realize how important it is for us to have time for just the two of us.

 

[christinadei]

I also have a 5 yo. He's been to Disney twice and no doubt will go plenty more times. Me and DH are going in Sept. to celebrate our anniversary. I feel bad about leaving DS, but I know that we need and deserve this trip and that he's spoiled enough as it is. He just went in May and does not need another trip. I wasn't planning on not telling him where we were going, but I'm sure he won't even ask. I'll just tell him that we are going on a trip for grown ups. I'm so lookign forward to doing big rides and eating nice meals. We aren't even going to to go the MK.

 

[Disney_1derland]

We are doing our first adults only trip in October. The kids do not know where we are going they are 5 and 3. They went last year in November and my 5 year old was there in May. When we leave we are telling her that we are going to Orlando on business and that we will probably go say hi to Mickey and that we are sure we will bring her a surprise. She understands that she is in school this year so we cannot take her. She also knows we are planning a family trip for next year and she is okay with this. The three year old adores disney world but we will explain it to her the same way and we will call and send emails while we are there.

The bonus for both of them is that they will get to stay with Nana and Papa while we are gone. Being with them is kinda like being at disneyworld And I'm sure they'll hardly even miss us because N&P will spoil them horribly while we are gone.

 

[jag90]

Go and enjoy yourself! DH and I have gone numerous times without the kids and we feel ABSOLUTELY NO GUILT! I don't understand the mind-set of some that there is anything to feel guilty about. My DH and I work hard to be able to provide a life for our children that he and I never dreamed possible when we were growing up. Raising kids to be responsible, caring, productive members of society is no easy feat these days when there are so many outside factors working against us. In addition to being extremely rewarding, parenting is tiring, frustrating, and an uphill battle at times (As a fellow parent, I realize I am preaching to the choir!). We deserve a chance to get away, unwind, regroup, and come back refreshed. Why should we go somewhere other than our favorite place on earth, WDW of course, just because the kids may not like us going without them? Life isn't fair...They might as well learn to accept that while they are young because it certainly isn't going to get any better! Just my 2 cents...

 

[F1Julie]

I don't get going to WDW without your kids. I understand taking a trip without the kids, but I would go to more of an adult destination that WDW. I'm a single mom of DD5 and I can't imagine not taking her with me to WDW. She'd be devastated if she found out and I wouldn't want to lie to her. I have gone to Vegas without her and may go to Europe without her some day, but I'd never leave her behind to go to WDW.

 

[christinadei]

I don't get going to WDW without your kids. I understand taking a trip without the kids, but I would go to more of an adult destination that WDW. I'm a single mom of DD5 and I can't imagine not taking her with me to WDW. She'd be devastated if she found out and I wouldn't want to lie to her. I have gone to Vegas without her and may go to Europe without her some day, but I'd never leave her behind to go to WDW.

Because that's where we want to go. Disney can be totally different doing things with only adults vs. with kids. Your schedule can be how you want, you can do different attractions, nicer restaurants, etc. There's no reason we have to go to Vegas instead of Disney if that's where we want to go. Ther are lots of things we haven't done and would like to do/see.

I won't lie to DS. If he specifically asks, I'll tell him, otherwise, I'll tell him we are going on a trip to Orlando. There's no reason to tease him with it and make him feel bad. I knwo eventually he'll realize, and he'll be okay. He's not entitled to every vacation. He just went to Disney in May.