Fed Up With It All- UPDATE: Post 34

[matthew&haleysmom]

Jessi,
First, I am really sorry you have to deal with this. It takes a special kind of person and a TON of patience and love to work with the kids you work with and the first year or two of teaching is always rough even without the added probelm of your "helper" causing you more distress.


That said, I think you really HAVE to find a way to get hold of this situation. Not only is it unfair to the kids, and to you, to have a para in the room who continually does not do his job; it may also be reflecting poorly on you and damage your chacnes of being renewed as a teacher next year (sorry to add more stress, but I think it is true). As a special education teacher you are expected to be able to not only work with the kids and with parents but also to "manage" the parapros in your room (which is really, really tough when you do not ahve the power to hire or fire, etc.). I think admin. expects to have to support and train new teachers somewhat the first year, but they also expect that by mid year you are finding your footing and able to stand more and more on your own. It sounds like they are out of new ideas and resources to give you and need YOU to make it work.

As others have said, document EVERYTHING. But, if I were you I would not go back to the principal or process coordinator again unless something major happens that must be reported. They need to see YOU figuring out a way to handle it at this point. Even things which need reported (like leaving a child unattended in a classroom) should be handle in very matter of fact and unemotional ways: "X took Johnny to his therapy at 1:15 and retuend to teh room alone. At 1:35 teacher Y came to the room with Johnny. She says Johnny was found alone in classroom 12 and the therapist had not yet arrived at school. I asked X if anyone was in the room when he left Johnny and his respones was "****." I observed taht Johnny was more agitated for the rest of the day than is normal, for example: XYZ."

I know this is much easier said than done (especially when you are exhausted by your job) but it sounds like you have to stay on this guy just like he is a preschooler. You know how vitally important consistency is with kids, right? This guy is acting like a little kid and I think he will respond accordingly. You have to tell him EVERY SINGLE TIME he gets his phone out that he needs to put it away and work with the kids. You have to tell him what to do when he is goofing off instead of doing his work, every single time. You cannot let him slide on anything, ever. If he says "last year. . ." politely but firmly tell him this is NOT last year and the behaviour does not work for YOU now. It will take a few weeks, an you will be ready to drop (and the kids will be temporarily deprived of as much calssroom interactions as they should be getting while you focus on him--BUT they will benefit greatly in the end AND in the meantime they are learning that the rules apply to adults too, whch can be very good for such kids--and all kids really--to see), but in the end he will either learn he cannot bully you (I think he is very knowingly taking advantage of the fact that you are young, small, new, etc. in addition to being somewhat of a deadbeat to begin with) and start to work, he will complain to the principal (which should backfire on him so long as you have documented everything as he would be complaining that he does not like being expected do to his job) or he will get fed up with having to actaully work and he will quit). Any or all of the above is better than what you have now.

Very well stated. The bolded statement should become engrained until you no longer need it. Also, do you provide a copy of your lesson plans to the assistant. You could lay out the expectations of each block of time for each assistant. Keep the assistants busy interacting with the students. It is what they are there for. Finally, I have read many of your posts about this school year. You appear to be working through all of the beginning teacher stuff. So, enjoy the students and continue making a difference.

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Around my age I think. I know that he already did his senior year of college, because he talks about in his senior year switching from art to education major (he's getting his education degree)

He's going to be a TEACHER?!?

If he is in school for education, does he have a mentor of some sort that comes to observe him for his education classes? I know when I was in school for my teaching degree, the teachers I worked with had to fill out performance evaluations on me for my school. I would want them to know about his lack of professionalism in the classroom as well as the times he has compromised their safety (leaving them in empty rooms, playing with school furniture.)

(My school had us placed first as paras for the first three years, then we student taught the first term of the 4th year, then the last term we were substitute teachers. The school got opinions from every teacher we worked with up through the student teaching.)

 

[NHdisneylover]

Very well stated.

Thank you for saying that I was afraid it would come off as critical of the OP, which is absolutely NOT what I intend at all.
Jessi-I hope today was better

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Thank you for saying that I was afraid it would come off as critical of the OP, which is absolutely NOT what I intend at all.
Jessi-I hope today was better

Your PP was very well stated. I agree.

And it is a shame, but oftentimes, what appears to a teacher as "proactive in seeking assistance and support to solve problems", appears to administration as "unable to solve problems independently; dependent on administration".

 

[agnes!]

NHDisneyLover has many brilliant suggestions, ESPECIALLY the following...

but in the end he will either learn he cannot bully you (I think he is very knowingly taking advantage of the fact that you are young, small, new, etc. in addition to being somewhat of a deadbeat to begin with) and start to work, he will complain to the principal (which should backfire on him so long as you have documented everything as he would be complaining that he does not like being expected do to his job) or he will get fed up with having to actaully work and he will quit). Any or all of the above is better than what you have now.

Document *everything*, be firm with his behavior, repeat the same thing over and over (I call it "Rinse, Lather...Repeat"), and when little Mr. Jerk-o-Bits gets his knickers in a twist and goes running to complain to the principal?... HaHA! you've *got* him. He'll look like an utter fool (not that it would be hard for this guy to do that) and the principal will have to either remove him from your classroom or at least write him up and (best of all for any of his potential future students) fire his sorry behind. If the situation is as you say (and I have no doubt that it *is*), then this man is a menace and should never be responsible for teaching any child...unless he can possibly (yeah, sure) straighten up and fly right.
I would also make sure you know exactly what your school system has in writing on their expectations of the para's, all the job description stuff. That way you'll be able to blast him with *both* barrels(nicely and calmly, of course) because you'll be able to sweetly say to the principal "I spelled out the school system's written expectations as delineated in the employee handbook, I spelled out my expectations as lead teacher in the classroom, I spelled out the students' rights to their education....Mr. Jerk-o-Bits has not fulfilled any of those."

Sometimes passive-aggressive is the way to go.
agnes!

 

[cabanafrau]

My first thought was, who is he related to? So many times when I hear about work issues in the school district around here, it seems like it's followed by the explanation of he/she is the child/niece/neighbor/godchild/friend of someone in admin., the schoolboard or a long-tenured teacher. Documenting is great. Treading lightly is smart.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Another vote for documentation. Keep a small spiral notebook in your back pocket. Sounds like you will need it and write in short hand too. I feel bad for you. It's just another thing to do, when you are already stretched thin, essentially without a para. But this is for the kids and you. Keep that in mind and pull that thing out and keep good notes. If he asks you what you are writing, just say, a plan came to mind. It would be the truth.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I can't stand incompetent people and that is what your para is.

I don't work in teaching, but one time in my life--I had an incompetent person who impacted my job. I was training her for maternity leave and reported her sooooo many times for her lack of work ethic, lack of punctuality (measured in HOURS late, not minutes!), lengthy "breaks" (also measured in HOURS) and then her complaining that what I was teaching her was too darn difficult and I made it too difficult. DUH!! It's hard b/c we work an 8 hour day but somehow you manage only 2, maybe 3 hours tops! I can't wait for your butt all the time!

In any case, someone had mentioned that what you feel you are reporting, that all the admin hears is that you are unable to manage the situation.

That was what I experienced. Mgmt got so fed up with ME that they booted me to another program so that the new girl would be able to do her job better without me around. A week or 2 later, I had reached my due date and decided that they no longer needed my services and I'd be back after the baby.

Well--professionally, this allowed the incompetent fool to hang herself. She was terminated for breaking company policy and I was actually called and begged to come back early to clean up her messes and unfinished work (That really wasn't finished in any month since they kicked me out of my office.)

I say all this to say--the incompetent fools get their day. She too was a transfer from another division who had similar troubles over their.

So likely, your para was booted from the other school to come and be your school's problem and his former school is likely celebrating not having to deal with him anymore.

Sooner or later, he will have his come uppance.

In the mean time document, document, document.

And if he is unable to follow your classroom rules, I'd beat him to the punch and excuse him from my classroom. And then I would document that.

I wouldn't worry that you would lose your job over it. I didn't officially lose mine and I was actually training my maternity leave replacement. This para cannot take your position.

Take the bull by the horns and stop playing Ms. Nice Teacher. You are in a professional atmosphere and if he cannot conduct himself professionally, he is doing your students a disservice.


Ohhh--and while I never wrote anything down, I wish I had. But I did recall enough that when I got a call from HR as they were ready to give her the BOD over her indiscretion if indeed training was shoddy that she lost her job b/c she essentially lied about the nature of how she was trained. (I thought that I was finally called over my complaints, and later learned that it had to do with her infraction and nothing to do with me. Documentation helps! My good memory sealed her fate, but for your para--you need documentation.)

 

[OceanAnnie]

How come his radio hasn't been replaced? Has he reported it? If he hasn't I'd do him a favor and report it for him. Maybe you will get lucky and he will get a fee for replacement and a lecture. And why is it he lost his radio but not his cell phone? Interesting.

I would tell him cell phones are not allowed in the classroom. It is to be turned off. When he is on it, he isn't "on" in the classroom. In fact, I'd write up a list of his most egregious infractions and state the classroom rules effective now, will not include these behaviors. Have the principal review it and sign it prior to him signing it. Make it one of those 3 copy deals. He can have a copy. You get one, and the principal gets one. That would tell him you mean business. Meanwhile, still document. Especially the infractions he continues after the new law is in effect. I'd take the documentation to the principal after a few have been violated. Tell the principal something needs to be done. I really think you'll need to ask for it, because the principal either doesn't know the extent or hasn't stepped up thus far for whatever reason.

And unfortunately watch your back. Some people retaliate even when they are very wrong. They don't like to be called on it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

little Mr. Jerk-o-Bits

That so fits the mental image I have of this guy so well!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Of all things, he actually went to my process coordinator today and complained about something I had done. He walks into the room after taking a group to specials, announces he has a meeting, and walks out (and this was during his time he was supposed to be one on one.) I found out later that he had left to go complain. She backed me up 100%. I've expected this. I heard him griping in the hallway yesterday about this particular issue. At no point did he come to me to ask me why I made that particular decision. He just went straight to my PC. She told him it was my decision and that she was sure I had a reason. When I explained the situation, she had absolutely no problem with it.

And really, I have only gone to the administration once. That was about the continued texting/leaving the room. I spoke to the principal about the issues while she was going over my observation. Even when he left the student in the room unattended, I handled it. The only other time she was involved, was during his numerous no call no shows. And that was only because I was trying to find out where he was and if I was going to have a sub for him. I have been doing my best to be independent and to deal with this. Like I said, I have given him a detailed run down of what he is to do, instead of following it, he proceeded to still do his own thing and then gripe about being given the schedule to another teacher.

 

[quentina]

Sorry...whats a Para???

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Sorry...whats a Para???

A teacher assistant.

Depending on the school and specific para position, they can be responsible for (among other things) working 1-on-1 with children with severe special needs, working with the whole class in general or special education classrooms (which is the case for the OP here), doing breakfast/lunch/recess duty, doing clerical work such as making copies or office assistance, or rotating throughout multiple classrooms during the day to offer clerical and/or teaching support.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

UPDATE: Apparently the one para talked to the principal. She came in on Thursday asking me if I noticed anything, and requesting that in the future I let her know. At least now I know how she prefers this handled.

The drama continues... My other para resigned (did not tell me or the school, told the central office.) I was perplexed when she didn't come in. It was frustrating because nobody knew what was going on, so of course no sub was found which threw a kink into everything. My kids don't do well with change or the unexpected, but they pretty good today all things considered. I found out it was approved for them to hire somebody else, and to have a sub in the meantime, I was worried it wasn't.

All in all, I think I'm glad that I have a personal day on Friday. I'm going to need it before this week is over.

 

[KirstenB]

It's so hard to keep SPED paras and teachers! Before our younger dd was born, I used to sub in the elementary school. Probably 50% of my subbing was as a SPED para or teacher. At least once a week. Keep your chin up, OP!!