Fear of Flying

[timidbibliophile]

I have been planning a trip to Disney World with two of my cousins. The older one is fine but the younger one who is 10 has never been on a plane. She is excited about the trip but extremely nervous about flying. I was wondering if anyone had some tips for how to ease her fears. The trip would be in February so we have some time to work with her. I hoping since we are going in February we will not have to deal with bad weather or any extreme delays. We plan on sitting with her to talk to her all about the process of flying and what happens at the airport. I have looked up tips but they are mostly for kids way younger then her or adults. Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I wasn't sure where to post it.

 

[RogueX]

It can be helpful to talk to her about what the process is going through TSA, which sometimes overwhelms kids. It's usually easy enough and uneventful, but in the case where a bag that you or one of your cousins is carrying (ex: backpack) gets extra screening, just have her prepared to understand that's part of going through security.

As for in-flight, having some distractions on hand are always helpful. Whether it's listening to music, watching a movie, etc. having something as a distraction helped my nephew who had bad anxiety when flying.

 

[CarolynFH]

I had a lot of anxiety about flying for quite some time, especially when we'd hit even minimal turbulence, until we had a friend who was a pilot for Delta. He told me that turbulence was just "bumps in the road," an explanation which I find very reassuring! Maybe pointing out that planes hit bumps like cars do will help her.

She may be too young to appreciate this statistic, but I read a number of years ago that at any given moment, 50,000 people were in the air above the US. And they've all gotten to their destination, all these many years.

 

[sam_gordon]

I hoping since we are going in February we will not have to deal with bad weather or any extreme delays.

umm... February can be a "bad" weather period depending on where you're flying from/through.

I suggest asking her what makes her nervous. Don't put ideas in her head, just see if she can say what makes her nervous. Then tackle that... I'm sure there's YT videos of just about every segment of flying... checking bags, going through security, boarding the plane, seat belts, announcements, taxi, take off, flight, landing, deplaning, getting luggage.

 

[sponica]

I guess it depends on what part of "flying" is the scary part. Is it that it's a new experience? Is it actually being in the air? Is it a fear of the plane crashing? I'd find out what's actually making her nervous. Also there's nothing wrong with being nervous about it. Tons of people are nervous about it and get on planes and sometimes knowing that you're not the only person afraid up there helps make it feel better.

I absolutely hate everything until we're wheels up. I hate being at the airport, I hate being on the plane waiting to take off. I hate being stuck on the runway if there's a traffic jam. Until we're wheels up I'm basically a stressed out crazy person.

 

[timidbibliophile]

umm... February can be a "bad" weather period depending on where you're flying from/through.

I suggest asking her what makes her nervous. Don't put ideas in her head, just see if she can say what makes her nervous. Then tackle that... I'm sure there's YT videos of just about every segment of flying... checking bags, going through security, boarding the plane, seat belts, announcements, taxi, take off, flight, landing, deplaning, getting luggage.

We shouldn't have to deal with snow or ice since we are flying from Texas. I realize there is the possibility of a random storm.

I plan to sit down with her a few times before we leave. I will ask her what she is worried about and help her with those things. I bet I can find some good videos on tiktok as well. She likes meditation music so I will make sure we download some before the trip. I will also make sure to have some movies and games downloaded to keep her busy. I am also thinking of buying some of her favorite snacks as well and having her bring her favorite blanket from home. I know that it will be a bit bulky but she has one she brings with her when she spends the night at other peoples houses.

 

[_19disnA]

I guess it depends on what part of "flying" is the scary part. Is it that it's a new experience? Is it actually being in the air? Is it a fear of the plane crashing? I'd find out what's actually making her nervous. Also there's nothing wrong with being nervous about it. Tons of people are nervous about it and get on planes and sometimes knowing that you're not the only person afraid up there helps make it feel better.

I was thinking the same thing. I would have her parents talk with her about those concerns (couldn't tell from your post if they are also traveling.) Even if the parents have never flown, they can still answer basic questions she apparently has about the experience of flying. Also good to discuss the entire process that goes on at the airport from check-in to TSA screening/etc. so she has a grasp of what to expect. With younger children, it might just be the 'fear or the unknown' or lack of flying experience.

 

[timidbibliophile]

I was thinking the same thing. I would have her parents talk with her about those concerns (couldn't tell from your post if they are also traveling.) Even if the parents have never flown, they can still answer basic questions she apparently has about the experience of flying. Also good to discuss the entire process that goes on at the airport from check-in to TSA screening/etc. so she has a grasp of what to expect. With younger children, it might just be the 'fear or the unknown' or lack of flying experience.

Her parents will not be flying with us. It will just be her sister, her, my mom(their aunt) and me. They have travelled with us before but by car. I don't think she is afraid of being away from her parents. This trip is actually shorter then the car ride to visit where her grandparents used to live and where one still lives on the other side of the state. I think it mostly is fear of the unknown.

 

[sponica]

Her parents will not be flying with us. It will just be her sister, her, my mom(their aunt) and me. They have travelled with us before but by car. I don't think she is afraid of being away from her parents. This trip is actually shorter then the car ride to visit where her grandparents used to live and where one still lives on the other side of the state. I think it mostly is fear of the unknown.

While I think you're being caring, I also think you're putting the cart before the horse. Maybe it's just my own world view with my kids, but unless they're melting down in tears with nervousness and absolutely refusing to do x, I usually tell them it's ok to be nervous about something you've never done and let them guide what they want to know more about. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being nervous unless it keeps you from doing something, but that's just my own worldview.

Now if she's in the melting down with nervousness, that's a whole different scenario.

 

[toesmom]

I have been planning a trip to Disney World with two of my cousins. The older one is fine but the younger one who is 10 has never been on a plane. She is excited about the trip but extremely nervous about flying. I was wondering if anyone had some tips for how to ease her fears. The trip would be in February so we have some time to work with her. I hoping since we are going in February we will not have to deal with bad weather or any extreme delays. We plan on sitting with her to talk to her all about the process of flying and what happens at the airport. I have looked up tips but they are mostly for kids way younger then her or adults. Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I wasn't sure where to post it.

Flightaware.com shows that at any time there are usually more than 15,000 flights in the air worldwide, when you think about that, it should change views about safety of flying. It really changed my perception.

 

[Betty Rohrer]

We shouldn't have to deal with snow or ice since we are flying from Texas. I realize there is the possibility of a random storm.

I plan to sit down with her a few times before we leave. I will ask her what she is worried about and help her with those things. I bet I can find some good videos on tiktok as well. She likes meditation music so I will make sure we download some before the trip. I will also make sure to have some movies and games downloaded to keep her busy. I am also thinking of buying some of her favorite snacks as well and having her bring her favorite blanket from home. I know that it will be a bit bulky but she has one she brings with her when she spends the night at other peoples houses.

this happened years ago but my daughters baton group had a flight canceled last minute in Orlando because of snow in Detroit so snow and ice can get you anywhere

 

[floridafam]

I find the closer you are to the front of the plane, the better. I also prefer to fly early in the morning or at night. Those flights seem to be less bumpy.

I wouldn’t say I had a fear of flying but I was always a little nervous. Just took four flights between Florida and Michigan and they were a delight.

Bring an iPad or book and try to read or use the screen on the seat in front of you to watch a movie or play a game.

 

[Cheburashka]

Yes, much less chance of poor weather impacting a winter flight between Texas & Florida than a summer flight.

Book a nonstop flight if at all possible.

I recommend an early morning flight. Less likely to be delayed (so less anticipatory stress), and if it's early enough she'll be a bit tired & not have as much energy for getting nervous nervous.

I also recommend sitting toward the front of the plane in extra space seats: less turbulence and less claustrophobic, which makes for a more calming flight.

Make sure you book seat reservations together- don't leave that up to chance.

 

[EACarlson]

My wife and soon to be 10 year old both hate to fly. At least they hate the period from the time the brakes get tripped until wheels are up. I will be sitting between the two of them on flights next month. One will have a death grip on each of my arms until we hit 10,000 ft.

 

[OKW Lover]

Children often take their clues from grownups. Spoken or un-spoken concerns about flights by grownups might be the cause of the child's concern. It helps of those around them talk about the excitement (or even boredom) about flying instead of the bad things.

 

[MrsHammer]

I consider myself a pretty anxious person and I know that it helps to know exactly what is going to happen, so I agree with others who have mentioned looking up YouTube or TikTok videos on the whole process. For me, the first time I flew it was scary not knowing if some of the sounds that the airplane was making was 'normal' or not. Videos might help with that and also during the flight just prepping her through each step of takeoff, etc. and giving reassurance that what she is seeing, hearing and feeling is normal.

 

[Dznypal]

My brother is a retired pilot and my DH was afraid to fly. My brother told him to watch the flight attendants if they’ll just calmly going about their business all is going as planned. Helped DH. As we’ve been to Hawaii and Europe several times. We would still travel but by train. It would take us 2 days and nights just to get from mke to Orlando I’m sure your cousin will love flying once the plane is in the air. Have a great trip

 

[Bullseye]

While I think you're being caring, I also think you're putting the cart before the horse. Maybe it's just my own world view with my kids, but unless they're melting down in tears with nervousness and absolutely refusing to do x, I usually tell them it's ok to be nervous about something you've never done and let them guide what they want to know more about. I also don't think there's anything wrong with being nervous unless it keeps you from doing something, but that's just my own worldview.

Now if she's in the melting down with nervousness, that's a whole different scenario.

Yeah I agree. Hopefully, it's just first time jitters as a kid. Like the op said, casually like it's not a big deal explain to her about what happens. Then at the airport act like it's not a big deal as you advance. Maybe have her sit in the middle seat so she's flanked by buddies. If she has a tablet have her bring it to stay occupied.