Favorite Dangerfield lines

[mikeymars]

In fond memory of Rodney Dangerfield, who passed away yesterday at 82, here's a few of my Dangerfield favorites:

from Caddyshack (1980)

At dinner at the Country Club:

“This meat's so tough you can see where the jockey was riding it "

Later, entering a dull party at the club:

“What is this – the dance of the living dead?”

From a 1977 nightclub peformance:

“I went to the Doctor. He said “you need an operation.” I said “I wanna second opinion.” “O.K.” he says, “You’re ugly, too.””

 

[Laurajean1014]

The most used phrase I use from Rodney comes from "Back to School"

In talking to his teacher when asking her on a date, she replied that she couldn't 'cause she has class that night.

Rodney responds, "Well, why don't you call me when you have no class!"

Lot it. And he will be missed.

 

[Bichon Barb]

"My wife is a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud."

 

[monkeyboy]

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

 

[Patch'sD]

" You must have been something before Electricity."

"No Wonder Animals eat their young"

" Hey, you Scratched My Anchor"

 

[Rippington'sFan]

here's a few lines: LMAO

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

 

[Peter Pirate]

Caddyshack: The last time I saw a face like that, it had a hook in it.

Caddyshack: (to the judges wife) Hey, you must have really been something before electricity.

 

[noel]

Hey Wang! What's with the pictures? It's a parking lot!

student: "Hey I know you! You're Tall and Fat!"

Thornton Mellon: "Yeah, well you're short and ugly!"

 

[monkeyboy]

What's your favorite subject?

Poetry.

Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

 

[noel]

This guy is a great teacher. He really cares. About what, I have no idea.

Flunk me! Well flunk you!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Here is an audio link from the Chicago Tribune Rodney audio. Not sure if it will work if not subscribed, but if not, worth the minute to subscribe (free, no spam ever). I remember seeing him many times in the mid 60's on Ed Sullivan, thought he looked so disheveled and took me a time over several performances to realize that was an integral part of his act. A classic who will be missed.