Father very ill

[LIDisneyFan]

Joe,

First, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad.

My Dad died last July - he was 89 - He was 45 when I was born, and spent most of my life fearing he would die (he was actually very healthy). I didn't think I could make it through his funeral. I am not one for public shows of emotion.But when the time came, I decided to go for my Mom, and to show my respect for soomeone who meant the world to me. Strangely, it felt right, and I have some very peaceful memories of his funeral. Odd.

When my Mom died unexpectly 4 months later, I went through them same thing. but this time it was for me - I didn't have to do it for anyone else. When I broke down, I accepted that that was OK to do.

In the end , you need to do what is right for you. But there are some moments you cannot get back. That's why I went - so I wouldn't hae regrets. It sounds like you're doing the right things now, and being supportive.

 

[Cinderellafifi]

I am so sorry to know of you and your family's pain. I agree that you may find it better to go to the funeral. You need some sort of closure, not that it will end the pain.

For me, the harshest suffering came in my father's last few days when he was no longer coherent. It was just awful.

I pray that your dad pulls through. And I will pray that you discover that strength that is certainly in you.

 

[Dan Murphy]

So very sorry to hear of your pain, Joe. In regards to your going, I would. A funeral service is more for the living, to help deal with a painful fact of life, death. My very best to you and your mom.


Dan

 

[Paperina]

Joe,

Go the the funeral. I lost my Dad in December - I know the pain you are feeling in worrying about your Dad every day and facing the prospect of losing him. It was very difficult going to the funeral home and making plans with my Mom.... I could not imagine making her go through this alone.

 

[oldkicker]

Joe - my prayers for your Dad and your family.

So many good words of advice here. I can only add that I hope you are able to find your way through this difficult time....

 

[ByTheSea]

So sorry for you and your family. I too lost my Dad a little under a year ago and I understand your difficulty.

I too believe that in the long run, I think you would have some regrets if you choose not to attend the funeral, it's not something you can do later... It's a show of respect for your father, but also you are probably needed there for your Mother. I'm sure she is having a very difficult time with this as well and will need you, or at least not have to have the added stress of not having you there with her...

I dreaded my father's funeral so I know where you are coming from, but it was really a pretty nice experience. It may help you realize just how much your Dad's life effected others.. you may hear stories about your Dad you never heard before... and you may even find a happy thought or two that day....

 

[joe]

Thanks to all of you. It really does help to have people that understand how hard it is and have had similar experiences. Right now he is still in ICU and they want to let him sleep a lot so he can stabilize his heart a little more. Until yesterday morning when my mother told me he almost passed away onTuesday night, I never thought that reality would hit me so hard. Like I said, you almost become immune to the hospital stays after a while and never really consider death as part of the equation.

Thank you for all the replies. It took me hours to get to sleep but today I feel a little more optomistic.

 

[Wishydoo]

I'm not good at giving advice, but I'd like to give you a hug (((Joe))).

 

[MerryPoppins]

You and your family are in my prayers.

If it comes to it, I think I would go to the funeral, if I were you. You and your mother can be there to support each other. I find it easier to get through situations like this if I am being of help to someone else.

I lost my father. Nothing can take away the pain. If you are a religious person, you can hang onto the knowledge that your loved one is in no more pain and is in a better place. It helped me to realize that I was sad for myself and not for my dad. God be with you.