Family Trip - Am I wrong

[Bluenoser]

I am going to WDW with my dh and two dds (10 & 5) and my brother, sister-in-law, niece (14) and nephew (11). My brother is not a planner and wants to do things as they come up and he said his kids are not interested in the charater meals. I am a bit of planner - I made all the reservations and did up a one page itinerary of what is open and EMH etc for the eight days we are there. Plus I sent him any info I thought was useful.

We are all on the MWY Dinning plan and based on what I had read on the boards, I thought we should make PSs and my brother had no interest, even when I offered to make them for us all. So I made them for my family only for: Crystal Palace, Che Mickeys, Biergarton, Ohana, Akershus Princess Storybook and Hollywood and Vine and left two to chance. This is probably the only time we will get to WDW and I wanted my dds to experience everything that we could that was in my control.

Oh yeah, he indicated to my father that he didn't want everything 'organized'. I suspect that given the age spread, we will go our separate ways during the day and won't be joined at the hip. Given his ambivalence about it was I right to go ahead without him? or wrong? We are going in less than two weeks and I am starting to second guess my decision . .

 

[DMAMom]

I think you were definitely in the right doing what you did. Why should you not enjoy your vacation just because he's not a planner. I'm in the same boat - we are going in May with my aunt, her 2 adult children and her grandson. Her adult children are NOT interested in character meals or even going to the Magic Kingdom at all. They plan on going to Busch Gardens and Universal - while I have no plans going there.

So we decided early on - do your own thing. We are all staying in one house - but have our own cars. I am a HUGE planner - have all our character meals planned out - what days we will do which parks - even what restaurants outside of Disney I want to eat out (LOVE Olive Garden!!!!!)

I figure that if I tried to not plan like them - I would be totally stressed out and then my vacation would be ruined.

 

[HappyLawyer]

i too am te planner i was trying ot coordinate with my sister who is spur of the moment and we do not mesh, do not let your trip suffer, you can submit you plans to them to let them know what you are doing and when and welcome them to join you, if they choose not to then it is their choice-and you are not made to look like you excluded them, enjoye your trip, these vacations are too expensive not to.
have fun

 

[tjmw2727]

We went to WDW a couple years ago and met up with family, bil,sil and 4 dear neices. We had a blast, but, I planned and they did not!! It worked out fine, we met for parades and some meals and one Enight. We also did a few pool breaks together, this worked out the best as the kids could just play, adults could relax and talk.

I did plan two meals together, one character breakfast and one dinner at the resort a few days apart.

I think your fine! If you want to spend more time together just tell them that you would like to have a meal or to together, and have them pick from your list as to which two may work. Make a separate PS for them to coordinate with yours and then if they don't like it you can cancel without affecting yours.

Or - just keep things as they are and have a great vacation. Decide if your ready to pitch in if they realize after day 1 that you were right. Perhaps have a bit of a cheat sheet for them with #'s etc.

TJ

 

[Bluenoser]

Thanks for your support and encouragement After reading your posts, I feel much better - I was starting to feel like a party pooper because I didn't want to go with the flow which would have stressed me out - I like some planning and it wasn't like I was going commando - I just wanted a beginning, middle and an end with room to modify if something caught our fancy.

I just have to add that this is the first board I ever joined and I'm hooked, even if I never make it to WDW again, I don't think I will ever quite leave - its one the 'nices' place I've ever been. the good will that one finds here is so refreshing and encouraging.

 

[minkydog]

you just have different styles of vacationing. Nothing wrong with that. If it helps you to relax knowing that you have PSs made, then go for it. If it makes him relaxed knowing he can wing it, fine. It will probably help you all to get along if you aren't spending every day together anyway. Prehaps you could plan two evenings getting together somewhere(then secretly make the PSs! no way would i go without a few ) i suspect that after the first day or so of no PSs he will come to see the light.

cathy--can't tell my brother anything, he knows it all

 

[EthansMom]

We went to WDW with the in-laws a couple years ago. I'm a planner and SIL is not. But I let her talk me into doing most everything her way -- staying offsite to save a couple bucks, no PS's, no plans, no afternoon breaks. It didn't work for me at all.

My advice: Do WDW your way and meet you brother for breakfast, dinner, afternoon breaks, and/or parades.

Enjoy your trip!

 

[all4fun]

I think you did the right thing too! We have also vacationed with family twice. Once with my parents and two brothers who were willing to let dh and I tell them where to go, what to do etc, which was fine with us. We had seperate cars but stuck together for the most part. The 2nd family trip was with my MIL and SIL, and we had one car. Needless to say, they wanted to turn in early every night and sleep in until 11 every morning and then couldn't understand why the parks were so crowded when we got there. It really put a damper on our trip. Thank goodness it wasn't the "trip of a lifetime" and we knew we were coming back for future trips, because I would have been really bummed! I think many people make the mistake of thinking they can get everything they want done with no planning, but IMHO WDW is such a large place with so many things to do that you miss out on a lot if you don't plan at least a little bit. So I definitely think you're doing the right thing and you will have a much better vacation because of it.

 

[CleveRocks]

I'm basically thinking the same thing most everyone else expressed. I'm going in 6 weeks and I'm THE ONLY ONE interested in planning. And believe me, we've been planning for about two years due to my wife's job scheduling vacation weeks two years in advance. My wife rolls her eyes, my pre-schoolers are uninvolved, and my in-laws (whose vacation I paid for but have not yet paid me back as promised!) don't want to talk about ANY plans at all. So, at least in my own mind, I compromised. I made dinner PSs for every night, plus one character lunch PS (plus, I DID get my in-laws to agree to reservations for the Hoop Dee Doo about 18 months ago!). The way I figure it, if we NEED those PSs they are there for us to take advantage of, but if we decide on dinner elsewhere and it doesn't seem like it will be much of a wait, then the heck with the PS we'll eat where we feel like it. I'm just trying to keep it loose and enjoy. The planning is there to fall back on if we need it, but I won't get uptight if we don't use every plan I made.

Even though my wife isn't a planner when it comes to this stuff, she definitely wants us to get out early and do as much as we can comfortably do without being absolute commandos. This is in contrast to her parents, who wouldn't rush out of a burning building. We've already told them we'll do things at OUR pace, and if they want to keep up that's great, but if not we're not going to sacrifice our and our kids' enjoyment and wait around for them. perhaps we're in a different situation than you are -- we didn't plan to go with them as a group, they decided they would go with us so they could see their grandchildren in WDW, and thus we don't feel any obligation to have them agree with what we want to do.

ENJOY!!! TRY TO!!!

-- Eric

 

[Gillian]

Deb, I would have done the same thing!

I agree that it would be good to think of a backup plan should they change their minds about not having any plans. Make sure they know the EMH parks & hours (bring extra copies of your itinerary along) & encourage them to at least do some of the same parks as you.

I would also make another PS or 2 for the whole group. Maybe a breakfast or dinner near your resort? Mybe you can add them to your Ohana reservation? That's usually good for a group and is pretty easy to get to.

A little togetherness goes a long way on family trips, so don't stress about it!

 

[maureen4200040]

Hi all

I say give him the plans if they want to do their own thing let them. Don't stress yourself out worrying about what they will or will not join in.

As long as your family enjoy's what you have planned for them, thats all that matters. I'm the planner in my family, what I did when I went Disney with my sister & neice - was to plan things out for the 14 nights, gave them a copy before we left - and just went with the flow once we got there.

I was lucky that they did'nt mind following the plan, but on a couple of days we either added or left out one of the things we planned to do that day.
No problems.

 

[kpossible]

If you are having planning conflict now just think how bad you will feel in WDW having conflict. I would say plan your own trip. It cost so much money to have to do it someone elses way. We went with all the inlaws one time and that will be the last time. You spend half the time trying to agree on what to do next. There are some family members I would enjoy traveling with but others I say never again.

 

[Earstou]

Have you asked your SIL what she wants to do? She may be open to more planning than your brother is.
I know if someone asked my DH, he would say "let's wing it!". That's probably because I do ALL the planning, and I don't think he has any clue how much I do. Last trip he didn't want a single PS, but I made some anyway. Now, when he hears someone say they are going to WDW, he tells them I should help plan because I do such a great job!!

 

[princesslulu]

I say if you want to plan then go for it! If he doesn't thats fine too! Meet for a meal or two and then do your own thing. Have a blast and try not to worry about it! Your at a magical place! Don't let your vacation suffer though!

 

[Pumbaa_]

Walt Disney World is a place where winging it will have you missing out. There is just SO much to see and do. Having a plan is such a better idea. You are doing the right thing. You are going during a busy time of year, if you want to eat at certain restaurants, without a ps, you might have trouble getting in. Especially the character meals. You have planned some great meals with your family. Don't let your brother's laid back vacation style make you feel bad for doing research and planning your family's vacation.

Meet when it is convenient, snd do not feel guilty that you are prepared. I do all the planning for our family trips. I have traveled with extended family and 1 trip was god awful horrible but the rest have been fun. (never traveling with that brother again ) My dh and I go at least annually and often meet my parents there. I do the planning and they ask where are we going today They usually do half days in the park and often take a day off. But it is great family time, and really nice that no one feels they have to stay attached at the hip.

Have a blast!!

 

[Bluenoser]

Thanks everyone. I note with interest the recurring theme of brothers not liking to plan and I thought it was just me

 

[4greatboys]

You did the right thing. He doesnt want a plan and you guys do so I would just stick with it. Though I know he doesnt realize what a mistake that is regarding sit down meals in the more popular spots, like character meals. He wont have any trouble using his dining plan for counter service but I think he is in for a rude awakening on his sit down meals.
Luckily when our family went with my bil/sil, neice and nephew I did all the planning. They knew we go a lot and that we knew what we were doing. But I still just did simple planning such as what park on what day and making 1 ps meal a day so we wouldnt be stuck eating burgers and chicken the whole time.

 

[cruiseonmagic]

A few years ago, I went to WDW with 15 family members. Two of the group tried to plan everything down to the last minute. That lasted the first day. After that, my ds, brother, sil, and niece followed our own plan --go commando at gate open for the first couple of hours, then relax, backtrack and take everything in. We always met the family for dinner, and had the best vacation that we've ever had. We did some things that the rest of the group didn't do, and they did things that we didn't do.

The planning every minute can be overwhelming for some people. I would give him a stripped down version--what you have planned first thing in the morning, then let it go. They will probably have so much fun that they'll keep going with you. On the other hand, if they are late for anything that you are doing, blow them off. When everyone gets together and talks about what they did (or didn't because of being late ), they won't be late again.

 

[Deesknee]

IMO you made a good choice. Now......Go and HAVE A BLAST

 

[Coach Rick]

Thanks everyone. I note with interest the recurring theme of brothers not liking to plan and I thought it was just me

Last August, 11 of us went. There was us 5, my mom and dad, sister, BIL, and twin 5 yo nephews. They left it all up to me. I did ask along the way what they might want, and planned accordingly. BTW, not all brothers don't like to plan. At least you only have a one page itiniary, I had 6 pages on an Excel spreadsheet, along with my PDA loaded with all the menus for all the eating establishments at WDW. By day two my family was refering to me as "Walt"! This was to be a once in a lifetime vacation, but I guess they liked it so much the first time around we are doing it again this August. They have bought their own DVC points since, but guess who is signed as an associate member on their points? Yup, so I can make the ressies for them. I should just hang a shingle out as a Disney Planner!

Anyhow, I had made two main dinner reservations to include everyone. One was a Fantasmic dinner package at Hollywood and Vine, the other a character breakfast at Ohana's. My sister has this thing with making sure the twins have their afternoon naps, so most days we spent a couple of hours together, and then split till at night. Mom and dad? Forget it, once in the parks they wouldn't come out! It was moms first ever trip to the capital of magic.

We also just got back from a trip with the schools softball team for spring training. Try planning for 13 teenage girls, plus 6 parents that aren't in any way related to you except that you teach their daughters. Talk about anxiety! Everything went extremely smooth, and everyone enjoyed it so much. Here again I couldn't quite force my likes, and dislikes on them, and even though I did massive planning I had to float a bit with what was going on. Including an extra game on the day we were supposed to hit two parks. The thank you's I got from the girls on the way home made all that work worth while.

So my approach is I plan for me, and my family, and I include everyone else in a sprinkling, but if they choose not to, then so be it. My sister didn't want to go to Hoop Dee Doo because I was doing the 9:30 show, and she thought that would be too late. I went on with my plans, and they had theirs. Just sit back and enjoy it. It will turn out great. If they don't have a good time it will be their fault. I can certainly sympathize with your anxiety over it, but don't let it rule you. Your going to Disney World.