Family Reunion Question

[Kirby]

My BIL is planning our first family reunion next summer. Our niece is getting married on Saturday and the reunion, a one day affair, will take place on Sunday.

This is all taking place at a resort in Arkansas. My BIL has a covered pavillion reserved all day. There's a playground and swimming area.

My BIL thinks that we have to have activities planned all day long. I've been to one family reunion on my side about 10 years ago. It lasted a week and we never had set plans to keep everybody entertained. I am attending one next month and again, no activities planned in advance except for the big family dinner.

So, I guess what I'm wanting to know if any one here has been to a reunion where everything was planned out for you and what you did.

 

[bumbershoot]

The reunions I've been to are pretty relaxed and flowy. But I must say that, even though I'm not much of a "joiner", I actually wouldn't have minded a few structured activities that I could have been part of. As it was, people would just go off in clumps, and if you wanted to spend time with someone you had to wait till they got back from the clump and hope that you could pull them away.

So I like it that BIL is trying to do this. As long as he isn't going to get upset if people don't participate in everything, I think that having the *option* for these events is very nice.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have been to a number of reunions, and have planned one for well over 100 people.

What is ideal is to have a good middle ground - have plans for breakfast together at the resort, and then again to all have supper together, which could be catered at the Pavilion.

You have to have some things to bring everyone together, WITHOUT it being like herding cattle, because it is way over-planned. The one we just went to was just miserable because it was all over-planned, and in 100 degree heat. My son just wanted to swim with his buddies, and only got to sneak in a few minutes.

You really need to have a good bit of leeway for people to just relax and visit.

Been there done that, both over and under planned.

Go for a middle ground.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My husband's family had one. It was at a hotel in St Jospeh, MI over 4th of July weekend. (very nice town!). Most of the weekend was impromptu. The host had a conference room reserved to "hang out" with munchies and stuff. I believe the only scheduled segment was for a slide show/movie of the family to honor the matriarch and patriarch of the family.

With a wedding, I'm not sure anything should be formally scheduled. I've often considered the wedding to be a reunion of sorts. That family reunion we
had was a stand alone event.

Hubby is at one of sorts this weekend. Great Uncle is having an "I'm not dead yet" party. (yes---that is the official name of the event). The only thing scheduled is the start time for the festivities. I wish we could go but way too long of a drive and flights were too pricy for what I needed.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Reunions that I have gone to with major planners had "sign ups".

I would tell your son to relax the planning because you are coming off of a wedding. Plan the event but don't micromanage.

 

[Magic Mom]

I think a mix of planning and free time works best. Maybe a kids game and a family trivia game in the morning to kick things off, And then some sort of family game before dinner, and free time the rest of the day.

 

[simba928]

This whole planning out family reunions things fascinates me (in a good way)! When my dad's side of the family had family reunions, everyone met a park where the playground was all the way on the other side. Each family brought their own food, sat at their own table, and only mindled with others very occassionally. You could have easily gone the whole time and never talked to anyone outside of your family. It was my grandma's side of the family and by your own family, I mean my grandparents and their kids brought food for us, my grandma's sister and her kids brought food for them, my grandma's brother and his kids brought food for them, and nobody ate anybody else's food. It was kind of odd, but easy to get out of when I got old enough to say so. I think it's very cool that people actually want to do things with their extended family, though!

 

[minkydog]

For a one day reunion I wouldn't feel compelled to have activities. I mean, you only have a few hours to hang out and catch up. I'd be hacked if I was the one stuck with managing activities while everyone else was relaxing and talking.

We have family reunions every three years. We usually go to some kind of inn or family resort. Our reunions start Thursday evening and end after breakfast Sunday morning. We eat breakfast and supper together and have music, sharing, and other activities after dinner. Everyone is free during the day to go off and do what they want. We often get together with cousins or aunties/uncles and do things together. Last time, we set up a meeting room with our photo albums, projects, sodas & snacks, and a tv monitor & Guitar Hero. The teens deemed it The. Best. Reunion. EVAH. We didn't allow them to play all day, but a few hours in the afternoon and a few hours in the evening after the grown-ups had retired were okay. Heck, we had some teens from another family reunion come around to play! It really was fun to watch the kids get into it. And even better, after playing at Guitar Hero for a couple hours they were all ready to break out their real guitars and mandolins and jam awhile.

 

[dzorn]

Well we went to DH 104th reunion and 36th? for each of his grandparents sides. One was held on a Sat the other Sun.

We always have a pot luck lunch all food goes on one table everyone shares. Everyone brings their own drinks. After dinner we have a short family meeting: Minutes from last year, Announcements:births, deaths, marriages etc. Youngest and oldest in attendance. Who traveled the farthest. Who is responsible for next year. Money collection for next year (prizes and pavillion fees) by passing a hat.

About 30 minutes after meeting we have games for the kids and adults.
Shoe Kick, egg toss, sack hop, three legged race what ever the planners have decided for that year. We do have prizes (dollar store usually or Gift cards) All the kids get a prize from prize box.

We also have a sign in sheet.

Adults usually just shoe kick and egg toss sometime others.

After games are done usually we will have volleyball or baseball game for those that want to participate. Usually a card game or two breaks out. At this point nothing else planned and everyone does what they want.

Usually the flyer sent to all families will have a schedule

11:30am reunions starts
12 noon PotLuck lunch please bring a dish to pass (plates and utensils provided please bring your own drinks)
1pm Family Meeting
2pm Games


Good luck with the planning. The games help get everyone involved with each other.

Denise in MI

 

[charming23]

We had one with my dad's family last August and it was nice because it started off at a nice pavillion for a few hours for lunch and mingling. The "host" family provided the main dish (the meats) and everyone else brought sides and desserts. We had a small slide show from reunions over the years before packing up and heading across the street to the park where there was games and swimming. You could participate if you wanted to or just sit around and mingle.

We have big ones like that every few years and other years we just do small picnics at peoples houses.

 

[Kirby]

Thank you for your replies! I'll pass them along to my BIL. I like the idea of playing games (shoe kick, sack race, etc.). We hope that this reunion will be the beginning of many more. There won't be a large group of people there for this one, everyone will know everyone. None of the family live in the area of the wedding and the resort accomodations do not include kitchenettes so potluck is out. My BIL just feels like every minute has to be planned and I disagree so we'll see how it goes......

 

[disykat]

I think a mix of planning and free time works best. Maybe a kids game and a family trivia game in the morning to kick things off, And then some sort of family game before dinner, and free time the rest of the day.

I agree! I like dzorn's idea of the "family meeting." You could have a scrapbook of the "minutes" with pictures etc. with copies of last years minutes available for everyone to update their own books. (buying some inexpensive 3 prong folders could help new people get started!)

My last family reunion was many years ago, but I remember we had a slide show where each family submitted some pictures, etc. It was pretty close family most people knew who everyone was, however so many of my cousins had married and it really helped their spouses and some step kids know who everyone was.

I recently went to a family reunion of my husband's very extended family where I knew very few people. I didn't come away from the reunion knowing any more about his family than when I went. Everyone ate, mingled if they wanted to - not many seemed to, and then went home) Honestly, if my husband wants to go next year he can go (400 miles each way) by himself. Our teens felt the same way. A large group activity of some sort would at least help everyone know who everyone was.