Family restrooms / moms with sons?

[Ellester]

I am another one who agrees that you cannot be too careful. There was a man around here who molested an 9 year old boy in the Wal-Mart bathroom while the father was waiting outside. This was during the Christmas season when there were TONS of people around. The same freak was let off on bond awaiting his trial and went to a rest stop and molested a 4 year old boy who was in the bathroom with his older brother. The older brother didn't get an answer from his little brother and opened the stall and found the guy in there with him. The mother was right outside the bathroom waiting. My son is just a baby, but I anticipate him going in the bathroom with me for a long time to come! I will let my 6 year old dd go in her own stall now, but only if I am in the one right next to it.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

You know something that we might be forgetting is that we have to teach our sons to protect themselves too. I always took my son in with me when he was younger and I always encourage others to do the same. However there comes a day when they have to go alone and they need to have some knowledge on being safe. My almost 13 year old son is as tall as me and going in with me is just not an option. When I started letting him go in alone I choose very safe places first. Our small town library with me standing at the door. I taught him to speak to no one and if anyone tried to talk to him to come back out right away whether he had used to tolet or not. I have always told him that if anyone tried to bother him in any way he should scream and run out. Not fun to talk about ,but so important. Even at an older age sometimes you have to look for other options. While traveling with my sister and her son last year we had to stop at a rest stop where there was no way we were letting our boys (12) go in alone. What we did was wait till there were no one in the womens and then let our boys go in alone while we stood at the door. We asked the few women that came up to please wait just a second. One gave us a mean look and the other relayed memories or traveling with her son at that age and encourged us. Keeping the boys safe is #1 and while we protect we have to start to educate too.

Jordan's mom

 

[joym70]

I must admit i'm a little shocked by this thread. I have 4 sons 8,5,2 and 8 mths. It honestly never crossed my mind that any woman would be offended by me bringing my 8 year old into the restroom with me. I took for granted that everyone heard the same horror stories on the news that I had heard. We will be going to WDW for the first time this spring and if DH isn't around or is "too busy" (as he often is when it's bathroom time) all the boys will be joining me in the ladies. Even though the 8 yr old often wants to go by himself there is no way, even in wdw that I would allow that. I'm a little disturbed by all the posts I read where people seem to feel that it's somehow safer at Disney. While I admit it is more magical than any other place I've ever been to there is no amount of "magic" to stop dangerous hunters coming after our children. So if anyone is there in April wrangling 4 boys into the restroom just smile and say HI

 

[mrsboz]

Joym70 - thank you so much for your post. I am amazed that after the horror stories that people wrote in about people are still writing the things that they are.

 

[dturner]

ORLANDO, Fla. — A Disney hotel was where a girl between the ages of 9 and 12 was victimized in a sex attack that was photographed, videotaped and distributed on the Internet, officials said Monday.

Canadian investigators took the unusual step of releasing six photos to the public last week, digitally removing the girl's image, with hopes of identifying what they thought was a warm-climate hotel setting.

Tips came suggesting the room was a Disney property, and ultimately confirmed.

"Disney has been very cooperative," said Jamie Zuieback, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement office. "Now we're trying to narrow down the timeframe and narrow down various aspects of the case."

See, like many on this thread have said bad things can happen anyplace, anywhere, anytime, even at "the happiest place on earth."

So sad and I hope they catch this person.

 

[mrsmiller]

Just have to add this:

Last week I went to Target to do some shopping, as we were going out I asked my boys if they needed to use the bathroom, they said yes and I took them to the Ladies restroom as usual, when an employee (woman) stop me and told me that the boys could not get inside because it was a woman's bathroom, well you only have to imagine how irate I was and i told her that she was welcome to call the police because my boys were not going to the men's bathroom alone. The ladies inside the bathroom could not believed either they were very kind and understanding. I called target and spoke to the manager later on and asked him if there was such a store policy for children(boys) not to be allowed with their mothers in the bathroom he apologized and ask me for the employee name but I told him that they should train their employees better and make sure that the employees are a little more sensible talking to the custumers(she was very rude)...
I work in the Criminal Court and trust me when I say that as a parent I will do anything that I can to avoid for my child to become one more statistic and I do by the way teach my children to also be aware of the dangers and how to defend themselves but even the most savy and smart child can be lure by criminals.

 

[dturner]

Just have to add this:

Last week I went to Target to do some shopping, as we were going out I asked my boys if they needed to use the bathroom, they said yes and I took them to the Ladies restroom as usual, when an employee (woman) stop me and told me that the boys could not get inside because it was a woman's bathroom, well you only have to imagine how irate I was and i told her that she was welcome to call the police because my boys were not going to the men's bathroom alone. The ladies inside the bathroom could not believed either they were very kind and understanding. I called target and spoke to the manager later on and asked him if there was such a store policy for children(boys) not to be allowed with their mothers in the bathroom he apologized and ask me for the employee name but I told him that they should train their employees better and make sure that the employees are a little more sensible talking to the custumers(she was very rude)...
I work in the Criminal Court and trust me when I say that as a parent I will do anything that I can to avoid for my child to become one more statistic and I do by the way teach my children to also be aware of the dangers and how to defend themselves but even the most savy and smart child can be lure by this criminals.

Thanks for adding your story to this thread.

I totally agree with you, I will NEVER EVER take a chance with my son - it CAN happen to anyone, anywhere, anyplace. So, until I feel DS(8) can handle himself ALONE in the men's restroom, he's going in the woman's with me!!

 

[christinadei]

I just want to thank everyone for contributing to this thread. Before reading this, I always waited at the door for my son. I never thought about freaks waiting in the bathroom. I guess I'm just naive. (sp?) Anyway, I will never let my son go to the bathroom without me or DH again. He's been wondering lately why he has to go into womens bathrooms. But oh well, his safety is the most important thing to me. I'm just glad it was brought to my attention before anything bad could've happened.

 

[seashoreCM]

I would expect that, once a child is old enought to use the facilities alone reliably, that is, not getting self and clothes dirty, s/he should go into the correct rest room alone.

You could try this, teach your children to scream when something goes wrong. You stand outside the rest room and if you hear a screem, you walk right in with the other children in tow.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

 

[tasassy]

My son who is now 7, always goes to the rest room with me. The only exception, is when we are on base, and its either the hospital, bx or commissary. Last year when we were at Walmart, he had to go potty, told me so, I went to take him in the Ladies, and he refused. I ended up having to pick that child up, and take him in sideways. He even tried holding on to the outside of the door, not to have to go in I sure got alot of looks that day from other customers. I've already told him that if we have to go to Disney alone (waiting on my hubby's commander to give the okay) he'll have to go into the women's room, no ifs and or buts.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

When my older sons got to the age where they didn't feel comfortable going into the ladies room I would stand outside and constantly yell into them. I always had a wierd feeling about it. Years later I heard of that horrible case in California where the little boy went in, the aunt was waiting right outside, and a lunatic stabbed the boy to death before the aunt even knew what was happening. It's so scary. Right now littlest ds is only 4 so he just comes with me when DH can't take him. I really think there should be more "family" bathrooms.

 

[Divamomto3]

I didn't read all the replies. I have 3 sons. I'm taking them to WDW without my DH this month. Obviously, I take the 4 year old in with me. The other two, I'd send in and stand right outside and if it took more than what I thought it should, I"d be in there in no time. I'm a nurse and don't really care if I see a man peeing...I've seen thousands. LOL However, with the ages of your kids, I'd take them into the ladies room with me and not care what anyone thought. Their safety is the most important thing in the world.

 

[Divamomto3]

When my older sons got to the age where they didn't feel comfortable going into the ladies room I would stand outside and constantly yell into them. I always had a wierd feeling about it. Years later I heard of that horrible case in California where the little boy went in, the aunt was waiting right outside, and a lunatic stabbed the boy to death before the aunt even knew what was happening. It's so scary. Right now littlest ds is only 4 so he just comes with me when DH can't take him. I really think there should be more "family" bathrooms.

I was thinking of this exact case as I was typing. Makes me beyond sick to my stomach.

 

[joym70]

I would expect that, once a child is old enought to use the facilities alone reliably, that is, not getting self and clothes dirty, s/he should go into the correct rest room alone.

You could try this, teach your children to scream when something goes wrong. You stand outside the rest room and if you hear a screem, you walk right in with the other children in tow.

Disney hints:
http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

I would expect that a perv trying to get my child would come from behind (most boys pee standing facing the wall) and cover their mouth specifically so they couldn't scream and alert someone waiting outside.
I think your suggestion is unrealistic and if Moms don't feel comfortable we should definitly take our little boys with us.

 

[Nik's Mom]

There was a boy (I think he was 10) who was murdered in a restroom in Southern California a few years ago. His aunt took him, and waited for him outside. There was a man in there, waiting for a victim. He slashed that little boys throat. The aunt never heard a thing. That poor little boy died. They caught that pshyco and he is in prison. He was just barely in his 20's himself. he had heard voices in his head that told him to do it.
I would never let my little boys go in a restroom alone. I still get teary eyed just thinking of that poor little boy.

 

[SueM in MN]

ORLANDO, Fla. — A Disney hotel was where a girl between the ages of 9 and 12 was victimized in a sex attack that was photographed, videotaped and distributed on the Internet, officials said Monday.

Canadian investigators took the unusual step of releasing six photos to the public last week, digitally removing the girl's image, with hopes of identifying what they thought was a warm-climate hotel setting.

Tips came suggesting the room was a Disney property, and ultimately confirmed.

"Disney has been very cooperative," said Jamie Zuieback, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement office. "Now we're trying to narrow down the timeframe and narrow down various aspects of the case."

See, like many on this thread have said bad things can happen anyplace, anywhere, anytime, even at "the happiest place on earth."

So sad and I hope they catch this person.

There is something strange about this story.
If you google the name mentioned in the article as the spokesperson for the US Immigration Service, it comes up as thespokeswoman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, in the Kobe Bryant case.
There are quite a few places reporting the story that was posted here, but they all are exactly the same story, word for word, attributed to Associated Press. A couple of the stories do add a few paragraphs that say the alleged abuse is suspected to have been done by a close family member over a number of years in different locations.
I hope this turns out to be a hoax story, but if it is, it's a really sick one.

 

[Beca]

I know this is really OT, and I am encouraged to see how many moms do not allow their boys in bathrooms by themselves...but, I sure would like to see this concern carried over to other areas of life as well.

I was a flight attendant for 8 years, and I cannot tell you how many times parents would LIE and put their children on flights as "unaccompanied minors" before they turned 5 years old!!! (The young children would then tell me the truth in flight....often when the were bawling their eyes out). I would frequently have to assist children in going to the bathroom on flights (airplane bathrooms can be very scary to children), and although I am trustworthy....most of these parents never even MET me, as the children were escorted down the jetway by ops agents. I also flew with a flight attendant who later was charged with murder when she came home and found her "partner" in bed with someone else...not the kind of person I would want to entrust my child to.

But, here's the really scary part....we would hear of "pervs" sitting next to unaccompanied minors and molesting them during flight. The children often become "frozen" when people begin to do things to them, and so no noise was ever made. The airline I worked for did not have assigned seats, so I was always VERY aware of who was sitting next to these children, and honestly...was very suspicious of any man traveling alone who chose to sit next to these children. I know there are WONDERFUL men out there who love to be with children...but, I was just suspicious. However, I was the minority..a lot of flight attendants would never think to protect these small children (many flight attendants are young, twenty-something single people with no kids...they just don't think this way...I know I didn't when I first started at the airlines). But, it just seems sometimes that parents are all about "protecting their children" except when $$$$ becomes involved. I would never allow my dd to go into a bathroom by herself until she is MUCH older (and I will kill my dh if he ever does this..and, I feel women's restrooms are much safer than mens), I will NEVER allow my dd to be an "unaccompanied minor" on an airplane, just as I NEVER allowed her to be a "lap child" on a plane before she was two...it is ALL about her safety...that's my job!!!!

But, the message of my post is this....bathrooms are just ONE place where bad things can happen to a child. I hope everyone keeps this in mind.



Beca

 

[NotUrsula]

I checked the AP wire, and the story is there, so if it's a hoax, the AP has been fooled. However, I do agree that WDW bears no responsibility for the situation; the full story says that these particular photos are just part of a much larger collection. The girl has been aging in the photos, so the authorities believe that the abuse has been going on for years.

With regard to WDW's companion restrooms (or companion restrooms anywhere, for that matter): I would like to remind everyone that the companion restrooms are there primarily for the disabled who need physical assistance from an adult with using the toilet, and/or need the space to maneuver a large wheelchair. Many of these folks truly cannot take care of toilet needs unaided, so those single-user restrooms are their only choices, and there are not many of them. If you feel strongly that you need to use the companion restrooms with children, please make it a point to use them only when using a single-sex restroom is truly not feasible, and please make it a point to get into and out of the companion restroom as quickly as possible.

 

[Schmeck]

How about using the restrooms at the first aid centers?

I was at a minor team hockey game last weekend, and a man walked into the ladies room with two little girls (about 3 or 4 yrs old). Just as he was saying 'OK, go in one of the open doors', he looked up and saw that he was in the ladies room. I guess he thought he was in the mens room! He apologized, and took the girls out before we could say anything.

I wanted to tell him that it was fine that he was in there! I really do not mind a man with his daughters in the ladies room. I'd rather have a man watch me wash my hands (because everything private can be done in the stall!) than the chance of a little girl seeing a man at the urinal.

It also doesn't bother me to have boys in the ladies room, as long as an adult is in there with them. There have been a few times (even at WDW) when I've witnessed unescorted boys who have 'behaved badly' in the ladies room, probably because they are embarrassed to be in there on their own.

 

[Wee Annie]

I have to say that I haven't read all of the posts, but I just wanted to let you all know that what I have read has been very educational for me. I have two daughters, and no sons, and have to admit that I have, at times, felt somewhat uncomfortable and questioned why a woman would bring a fairly old boy into a ladies room. Now I know. And totally agree with anyone's decision to do so. For those of us who never had to worry about this (i.e. all of our children are of the same gender), this is a real eye-opener, and a much-needed education.

I say do what you feel comfortable with (and as a former prosecutor, I agree with the woman working at Criminal Court who says that you can never be too safe. Also, teach your child what to do if they are ever attacked/groped, etc. A little empowerment goes a long way, and stangers prey on children who look vulnerable. Although, sadly, most children are abused by people they know....)