Family not excited, looking for recommendations

[Darth Insidious]

This sounds stressful.

A full year out is too far out to do much in the way of hard planning. For one thing, you have no idea what the weather will be. Any number of factors could change, and then you will just have to do it all over again.

By all means, keep track of what WDW has to offer, and when you will be able to book (dining, G+), but beyond that, mostly just sit on everything for now.

We usually book everything just a few months out, and even then, I only book the essentials. I book hotel, transportation to WDW, and maybe a few TS meals.

We don't usually split up very much. To me, it sounds like you are focusing too much on making 'the most' of every possible moment. To me, that doesn't sound like much fun. We are MUCH happier deciding in the moment what we want to do.

Good perspective. The reason for trying to nail down a rough idea for length of stay is that Shades of Green fills up and starts booking a year out, it’s important to him to stay there.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I think you need to come to an agreement on there needing to be a few things that have to be planned. Meals especially for air conditioning and sit down have to be planned. The breakfast at Shades of Green is really good so do at least one day where you are not rushing for rope drop and enjoy late breakfast, brunch? Epcot or Animal Kingdom day might be good for that. Get everyone excited for your 6 year old to experience Disney, remind the older kids - this is magical for her. Remind them to think of it in terms of just not about them.

Since you are staying at shades of green you will be eligible for Magic Kingdom and Epcot after hours which is only deluxe disney hotels and Swan/Dolphin/Shades. So you or your husband might be able to take your son for some extra rides as a special 1:1 time. You can walk to the Poly and view the fireworks at MK from the beach instead of being in the crowd on main street, grab an ice cream from the stand at Shades before you head out. Make your vacation about your family and not Disney, get a small list of must do's for everyone and anything else is just a magical extra.

DAS is a great tool but if he struggles with crowds and you are waiting to ride something. Go to those quiet areas in between, Tom Sawyer island, CoP, path around Tree of Life etc.

By the way your doing a great job MOM!!

Thank you. I hadn’t thought about fireworks at the Poly. I’ve been looking at dessert parties or cruises but those are expensive to skip if he or the kids aren’t up for it. He is fine with fireworks (sound, etc) it’s the crowd he doesn’t like. This is a great idea that won’t have to be scheduled. I love it! Thank you!

The older kids are pretty good at being excited for the little one (Santa, etc). I’m sure they will want to share in her excitement once they are there. To an extent at least. I don’t think they’d love hours of lines to meet princesses but that’s what CRT is for and surprisingly, the 14 yo wants to eat in the castle again. I thought that would be a hard pass from him!

Maybe the deluxe extra hours, not having to buy tickets ahead will work out well. I know Magic Kingdom is super late, so that rules out the girls but I know my son (and maybe even husband) will enjoy it.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I would be rethinking this whole thing, honestly. This sounds like your dream, not theirs. This is a four figure discussion. Honestly, you could go somewhere like Europe for the cost of Disney.

If your 6 year old wants a princess makeover, why not just go you and her and do two days for that? You don't have to drag a bunch of people who don't want to be there for this.

I'm particularly concerned about what you are doing to your husband. Disney is a crowded stressful experience, even for us nuts who want to be there. Current Disney is even more planned out and not spontaneous. This is putting a whole lot of stress on him. He doesn't like crowds, he doesn't want to go. Why do you need to spend thousands for him to do this? Think about what the equivalent trip would be for you. Would you be happy? For me, it would be flying somewhere and spending a bunch of money on some sports event. I don't want to be there. We spent 2K on this? What are we doing? I don't even know how to score this sport. I am actively not having a good time. I took off work with this? Why didn't you just go with your friend for a weekend?

TEN DAYS? I have an AP, own a ton of DVC, and am a Disney nut. Even I don't want to go to WDW for 10 days. This is a lot mom.

Edit to add: I just saw all the PTSD stuff, and I don't see why you are even considering this. Disney is one of the most crowded, chaotic, stressful, loud environments on earth. This would be like you having a painful skin condition that blisters in the cold and him dragging you skiing for ten days and lift tickets are $700. I don't get it. Why would you do this to him and risk so much? Just go with a friend for a couple days with the little one. The teenagers already went.

As I said, he doesn’t want us to go without him. He wants to see our 6 year old light up when she meets Minnie and Cinderella. I am not torturing him. He’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. I proposed a short trip with just me and the little one for Halloween but he strongly objects (he wants to be with her for it too) and the older two, although they’re not psyched about it want to go too. PTSD doesn’t mean he can’t do it or even enjoy it but it does mean we have to do it differently (short time in the parks).

The reason for the long trip is we need a lot of hotel time. Short days in the park and days off. That’s at his request (and will likely fit the 12 yo well too).

I have considered just not going but the 6 year old really wants to go. Her siblings got to go around that age.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

And I agree with husband, take rest days where you do nothing but lounge and go at a slow pace. There are TONS of things to do that do not involve parks.

Hope everyone cheers up! You don't want to spend a ton and then no one enjoys it. Good luck!

Or better, spend 4 days NOT on WDW property. Where would he like to go? Some place quiet? A place that interests him?

Florida has some amazing outdoor spaces, like beaches, state parks, and national parks. They are relaxing, quiet, and very little planning required. If you went to the beach, everyone could wake up when they wanted, chill, and eat on a flexible schedule.

One distinction I have heard is between travel and a vacation. You want to travel= DO things, stay busy. Other members of your family want to vacation = relax. Your best bet is to give them what they want.

For me, 10 days is also too long. Our best trips are 5-6 days at most. After that, theme parks start to annoy us: rude people, waiting for the bathroom, not getting the foods we like. For example, we can tolerate Starbucks coffee and weak hotel coffee, but neither is what I make at home. After 6 days, it is nice to have a good cup of coffee. We also eat fresh fruit every morning. Nothing special; we eat a wide variety of fruits, but decent fruit a is weirdly had to find at WDW. (Why can't you find a grapefruit or a bowl of blueberries at WDW?)

We've also had many shorter trips to WDW. Three days at WDW is fun. We don't try to do everything, just randomly go on rides as offered to us by G+, and eat quick serve meals. We even sometimes have Mickeybars for lunch!

 

[Darth Insidious]

Splitting up is the way to go. Go with the flow is possible and probably the better option for your husband. I also agree with hoppers, they allow you to escape and go elsewhere if it gets too crowded. My hubby isn't a fan of crowds, rides, travel or walking. I usually go to WDW either solo or with my son. A few years ago hubby decided we could combine a trip there with a trip to the beach and camp in our rv at the park. He had been to MK and epcot when he was younger and had done a trip with the high school band where they played there and that was all he remembered. He went to the parks for about 3 hours in the mornings then went back to the rv and he and the dog rode around in the golf cart or just hung out. My son and I would go back for a few hours to eat with him then go back to the parks. It wasn't the best trip we have ever been on, hubby didn't even go to epcot but he enjoyed AK and the few hours at MK were enough for him. He sometimes says he will go back with me if we camp again but frankly I think we both found out it wasn't ideal. But at least he got to see a little of why we go and got to decide what he wanted to do.

Thank you. I do think the idea of come with us for a bit then go back to the hotel is going to be important.

 

[RoseGold]

As I said, he doesn’t want us to go without him. He wants to see our 6 year old light up when she meets Minnie and Cinderella. I am not torturing him. He’s a grown man and can make his own decisions. I proposed a short trip with just me and the little one for Halloween but he strongly objects (he wants to be with her for it too) and the older two, although they’re not psyched about it want to go too. PTSD doesn’t mean he can’t do it or even enjoy it but it does mean we have to do it differently (short time in the parks).

That description is the opposite of a massive, 10 day WDW trip. You could do all of that in two days and then drive somewhere else.

Edit to add: even WDW resorts and pools and loud and chaotic and overrun with kids and pumping annoying Disney music. I'd be at Disney as little as possible to achieve your must-dos, which only sound like a couple days.

 

[sponica]

I think you might be at the phase in life where the vacations start to look different with the age span in the kids. Honestly mine are 4 years apart and it's a struggle at times.

I don't have an issue with the length of time, it makes sense if you're not doing open to close. I know he doesn't like rope drop, but that early entry is critical for MK and DHS.

The crowds are just a way of life right now, but there are "softer" spots in the calendar....and if you can target those and avoid the "OMG what was I thinking coming here?" parts of the calendar, that would be better.

Don't go to fantasyland between 11:30 and 4, it's stroller central and before I had kids, I would avoid that part of the park until dinner time.

I have yet to find a lower key spot in hollywood studios right now...

Epcot and AK I find to be much easier to tackle from a crowd standpoint, Epcot just absorbs people better and there are a lot of nooks and crannies to hide in.

 

[Darth Insidious]

Agree you will need to split up. It is too far out to do detailed planning, but you could start making a list for each member of the family. Tell them they get to pick a "top 5" things they want to do/experience. It could be a certain ride, show, restaurant, just pool time, etc.

As the next few months go by, you can tweak the list if needed. Have the kids watch YouTube videos from some of the big vloggers. It would give them better ideas of the atmosphere and rides.

Everything is crowded so your husband should probably watch some videos himself. Just so he is prepared visually for what it may look like. February isn't a crazy month, but I asume you may be going around Presidents' Day weekend? If that is the case, it will be crowded for sure.

I'd just start with the lists and make a budget. All those extras will add up big time and Park Hoppers are big money too. PLUS, you have to tap in to the 1st reserved park in order to get to the 2nd park later in the day. You can't hope that will change and then be disappointed.

And I agree with husband, take rest days where you do nothing but lounge and go at a slow pace. There are TONS of things to do that do not involve parks.

Hope everyone cheers up! You don't want to spend a ton and then no one enjoys it. Good luck!

Thank you. Mostly just trying to figure out length of stay for the Shades of Green reservation. It will be over President’s Day week. I know it will be busy but he prefers that over the heat of summer. Last time we went at Easter and with good planning, we avoided a lot of the crowds. We did fun stuff like pirates and pals cruise and the Epcot fireworks cruise outside of the parks and he enjoyed that.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I only want to add, have you priced all the items you've mentioned? Disney prices are crazy and have gotten worse in the last few years.

Just want you to be prepared for price shock on top of planning things to do.

Yes. And it has gotten super expensive! Thank you for warning!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

His biggest complaint is “it was too planned out, felt like we were always rushing”. He wants to wake up, decide which park, and just do what we want in the moment.

So this jumped out at me, how are you going to deal with the park reservations? You can only make park reservations for the amount of days on your ticket. Have you thought about how that would work into how he felt before?

This is just my generic comment here but any time someone says "I hate planning, haven't been in a while, help me out" I want to send an SOS out lol. Reason I say that is while you can get away without doing uber planning still there is a lot more nailing down plans than in the past.

Last time you went it was with FP+ but you could still choose to make or not make pre-planned FPs, you could still choose to switch up those plans too. But now with the park reservation system you have to make reservations in order to even step inside the park and it's for that exact park with park hopping not starting until 2pm presently speaking. Park reservations run out too like DHS and MK typically run out first, sometimes availability reopens again, but it's about knowing you may want to go to that park but unless you secure a park reservation for it you can't go to it. With park hopping you do have to still have a park reservation for a park that day for a park.

 

[sponica]

Thank you. Mostly just trying to figure out length of stay for the Shades of Green reservation. It will be over President’s Day week. I know it will be busy but he prefers that over the heat of summer. Last time we went at Easter and with good planning, we avoided a lot of the crowds. We did fun stuff like pirates and pals cruise and the Epcot fireworks cruise outside of the parks and he enjoyed that.

They have increased capacity so while at this point in time you need to make park reservations, looking at next week (Presidents Day week), there are only 3 yellow days. One of those days MK and DHS is out of park reservations, the other 2 days it's just MK. Once the dining window opens, I'd make placeholder park reservations and then you can probably play around with it and have some flexibility. Hopefully by next year reservations are just *recommended* and given prioritization but not required.

 

[glocon]

It doesn’t sound like your family as a whole is very excited about this trip.
Have you considered a different Disney Park?
That might spark their interest.
Either DL in California or an overseas Disney park.

 

[CamillaF]

You can book ADR's at the 60+ length of your stay. Disney changed the rules so you can now cancel most of them 2 hours ahead. Even if just a few of you show up they do not charge the fee. Having a nice sit down lunch at your first park and then hop to what you want with park hopper tickets. That gives you flexibility and the ability to be in air conditioning with your family at the heat of the day. In my experience animal kingdom is a ghost town later in the day plan on doing all of your must do rides after 3pm. The lines are much shorter. Staying at Shades of Green will give you access to Extended Evenings. They are wonderful and not crowded. You can get the trill rides done with little wait in those parks. I would try to book a fireworks package on the nights of extended hours as you will be watching the fireworks and it would be nice to be away from the crowds. Lastly I would just assume that you are not doing rope drop. It's too hard on a family with young kids to go from early morning too late night and the extended evenings are wonderful. Sleep in....

 

[Darth Insidious]

Or better, spend 4 days NOT on WDW property. Where would he like to go? Some place quiet? A place that interests him?

Florida has some amazing outdoor spaces, like beaches, state parks, and national parks. They are relaxing, quiet, and very little planning required. If you went to the beach, everyone could wake up when they wanted, chill, and eat on a flexible schedule.

One distinction I have heard is between travel and a vacation. You want to travel= DO things, stay busy. Other members of your family want to vacation = relax. Your best bet is to give them what they want.

For me, 10 days is also too long. Our best trips are 5-6 days at most. After that, theme parks start to annoy us: rude people, waiting for the bathroom, not getting the foods we like. For example, we can tolerate Starbucks coffee and weak hotel coffee, but neither is what I make at home. After 6 days, it is nice to have a good cup of coffee. We also eat fresh fruit every morning. Nothing special; we eat a wide variety of fruits, but decent fruit a is weirdly had to find at WDW. (Why can't you find a grapefruit or a bowl of blueberries at WDW?)

We've also had many shorter trips to WDW. Three days at WDW is fun. We don't try to do everything, just randomly go on rides as offered to us by G+, and eat quick serve meals. We even sometimes have Mickeybars for lunch!

Thank you. I asked about somewhere else and he’d rather stay at Disney. He sort of feels it’s a safer environment but he is interested in Ft Wilderness. He likes hiking and outdoors stuff.

Does anyone know if it’s hard to do stuff like archery, canoes, fishing boats, horseback riding spur of the moment? I checked and carriage ride availability last minute is pretty low but maybe that’s different. A couple of days at Ft Wildnerness could be a nice break from the parks doing stuff he enjoys. And I could still take the 14 year old to a park at night if he wants.

 

[Darth Insidious]

I think you might be at the phase in life where the vacations start to look different with the age span in the kids. Honestly mine are 4 years apart and it's a struggle at times.

I don't have an issue with the length of time, it makes sense if you're not doing open to close. I know he doesn't like rope drop, but that early entry is critical for MK and DHS.

The crowds are just a way of life right now, but there are "softer" spots in the calendar....and if you can target those and avoid the "OMG what was I thinking coming here?" parts of the calendar, that would be better.

Don't go to fantasyland between 11:30 and 4, it's stroller central and before I had kids, I would avoid that part of the park until dinner time.

I have yet to find a lower key spot in hollywood studios right now...

Epcot and AK I find to be much easier to tackle from a crowd standpoint, Epcot just absorbs people better and there are a lot of nooks and crannies to hide in.

Thank you.

 

[kylenne]

I have yet to find a lower key spot in hollywood studios right now...

Walt Disney Presents is usually pretty chill. That's my designated emergency quiet spot at the Studios when I need to decompress, it's rarely if ever crowded especially in the back area where the theater is.

OP, I'm not sure if your husband would be amenable to it but my #1 tip for navigating the parks as someone who struggles with overstimulation (ADHD/anxiety/C-PTSD and my partner has the same) is noise canceling headphones. I wear my AirPods Pro a lot at the parks because of the transparency feature that allows you to toggle the ANC. But even with the ANC on, if you're not playing music you can still hear what's going on around you, it just takes the edge off so to speak. On bad brain days it's a lifesaver for me.

It *is* doable though, please don't let people scare you. Every day people enjoy the parks with these kinds of challenges. Tbh I would ask on the DISabilities board or look for tips geared towards people with autism because there's a fair bit of crossover with these different conditions and coping mechanisms for one can be helpful for others.

 

[Darth Insidious]

So this jumped out at me, how are you going to deal with the park reservations? You can only make park reservations for the amount of days on your ticket. Have you thought about how that would work into how he felt before?

This is just my generic comment here but any time someone says "I hate planning, haven't been in a while, help me out" I want to send an SOS out lol. Reason I say that is while you can get away without doing uber planning still there is a lot more nailing down plans than in the past.

Last time you went it was with FP+ but you could still choose to make or not make pre-planned FPs, you could still choose to switch up those plans too. But now with the park reservation system you have to make reservations in order to even step inside the park and it's for that exact park with park hopping not starting until 2pm presently speaking. Park reservations run out too like DHS and MK typically run out first, sometimes availability reopens again, but it's about knowing you may want to go to that park but unless you secure a park reservation for it you can't go to it. With park hopping you do have to still have a park reservation for a park that day for a park.

Thank you. I’m super into planning so get frustrated he doesn’t even want to pick a park. I know that won’t work. Someone suggested hoppers to maybe he’ll with if he wants to do something different. I also definitely want to reserve meals because he will want the break and be very frustrated if we can’t get it. I think I’m going to do more planning then just let it go if he doesn’t want a restaurant or planned activity. Or he can go back to the hotel and I will take the kids. Can’t do much about park reservations though.

 

[Dulcee]

Thank you. I asked about somewhere else and he’d rather stay at Disney. He sort of feels it’s a safer environment but he is interested in Ft Wilderness. He likes hiking and outdoors stuff.

Does anyone know if it’s hard to do stuff like archery, canoes, fishing boats, horseback riding spur of the moment? I checked and carriage ride availability last minute is pretty low but maybe that’s different. A couple of days at Ft Wildnerness could be a nice break from the parks doing stuff he enjoys. And I could still take the 14 year old to a park at night if he wants.

We've had luck doing the horseback rides last minute during times that aren't terribly busy. I'll also say that just checking out the stables (free and never busy) is nice too. Your little one might enjoy the pony rides. We did that last spring break when we needed a break from the crowds.

 

[RoseGold]

Thank you. It might also make him feel better to get through security (which is stressful for him) a little before walking into the parks!

Security is the only thing that is easier and less crowded since Covid. Read some tips about what to remove from your bags, and it's a piece of cake compared to before.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Security is the only thing that is easier and less crowded since Covid. Read some tips about what to remove from your bags, and it's a piece of cake compared to before.

It doesn't even have to be removed as in always. We had portable chargers and we learned that if they sat at the bottom of the backpack then had the rain jacket on top of that and then some other things it set it off. Once we moved those to the top of the backpack (presumably so it was a more clear defined shape) had zero issues.

I know a lot of people take umbrellas out and hold those in front of them. Some do that with glasses cases. At the same time some things come down to shape, density (not just in the item but also the park bag you're using with the contents inside) and material of the items you have.